Holding On

Holding On

Copyright © 2012, Karen Stivali

Digital ISBN: 9781622370795

Editor, Lola del Sol

Cover Art Design by KJ Jacobs

Electronic release, November, 2012

Trade Paperback release, November, 2012

Turquoise Morning, LLC

P.O. Box 43958

Louisville, KY 40253-0958

www.turquoisemorningpress.com

Warning: All rights reserved. The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work, in whole or part, in any form by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, is illegal and forbidden, without the written permission of the publisher, Turquoise Morning Press.

This is a work of fiction. Characters, settings, names, and occurrences are a product of the author’s imagination and bear no resemblance to any actual person, living or dead, places or settings, and/or occurrences. Any incidences of resemblance are purely coincidental.

This edition is published by agreement with Turquoise Morning Press, a division of Turquoise Morning, LLC.

Acknowledgements

I’d like to thank Kelley Amrein, Diane Badzinski, Trudy Gendron, Katherine Mariaca, Heather Stirnweis, Annette Pratts, Melissa Gandy, Joan Rosania, Janelle Denison and Karen Booth for having faith in me and for believing in Daniel.

My eternal gratitude to Lola del Sol for helping me polish this story and make it shine and to KJ Jacobs for creating the beautiful cover.

Dedication

This book is dedicated to my husband, for holding on.

Reviews

Karen Stivali’s book
Always You
, is a 2012 Passionate Plume Winner.

“With plenty of charm and heat, this is one tale you won’t be able to put down.”

~RT Book Reviews on
Marry Me

“
Always You
is an amazing tale full of passion, love and a friendship that is destined for more… Ms. Stivali has written a tale overwhelmingly full of emotions.”

~Coffeetime Romance & More

“
Meant to Be
is a subtle romance. A slow and gradual love story that felt genuine and... real. Both Marienne and Daniel came to life on the pages and I wanted, so badly, for them to get their happily ever after. And I enjoyed every moment of watching them get there. I can’t wait to see what happens next for them in
Holding On.
”

~
Romantic Book Affairs, 5 of 5 stars

“Karen Stivali’s books are sweet and decadent and leave you hungering for more and more. Everything she writes is like chocolate on paper.”

~Tiffany Reisz, author of
The Original Sinners
series from Mira Books

HOLDING ON

When you have everything you’ve ever dreamed of, the hard part is Holding On.

British NYU professor Daniel Gardner thinks life can’t get better than the day his three-year-old stepdaughter, Ella, calls him Daddy for the first time. Then his wife Marienne tells him she’s pregnant. Daniel is thrilled, but worried about Marienne’s health. Not wanting to cause her stress, he turns to writing to calm his nerves. He pens a screenplay, thinking it’s nothing more than a mental health exercise, but when a colleague reads it and hands it to a producer, it turns into a production contract. Daniel accepts the offer and transfers to a teaching position at Dartmouth, hoping that small town living and a shorter commute will simplify his life.

As he attempts to juggle his new responsibilities, he gets an unexpected letter from Roger, the father he never knew. For the first time since they met, Daniel and Marienne are at odds; she wants him to give Roger a chance, but Daniel wants nothing to do with the man he thinks abandoned his mother. As Daniel and Marienne struggle, they must contend with interference from Daniel’s sexy ex-wife, who appears to want him back, and a handsome, all-too-helpful single dad who desires Marienne as more than a play-date pal. They must both confront deep-seated issues with trust and acceptance if they’re going to find a way to make their marriage work and hold on to the love they share.

Chapter One

“What’s wrong?” Marienne asked, crawling into bed, loving that her husband, Daniel, was already there, waiting for her. He sat propped against the pillows, a book open in front of him. His dark hair dipped down almost to his eyes. She watched as he took his new reading glasses out of their case. A look of annoyance flickered across his face as he placed them on his nose.

“I can’t believe I need glasses now.” His British accent was always more prominent when he was bothered, and Marienne couldn’t help but smile. Ever since she’d met him, years ago, she’d loved the sound of his voice. She sat up and turned toward him, noting how the glasses accented his high cheekbones.

“What?” He furrowed his brow. “You think I look old and ridiculous?”

She giggled and his face scrunched further. “You’re only thirty.” She slid toward him. “And you don’t look at all ridiculous.”

A smile tugged at his lips. He peered at her from above the dark frames and closed his book.

She took it from his hands and placed it behind her. “In fact, I think they make you look kinda sexy.”

“You do, eh?” He reached his arm around her, drawing her closer. His long fingers pressed into her lower back.

“I do.”

“I love it when you say those words.” He ran his thumb along her hip.

Kiss me
. As if he heard her thoughts, his mouth descended onto hers. He always managed to hold off until the moment when she couldn’t wait a second longer, and then he’d give her sweet release. His velvety tongue coaxed her mouth open, though she needed no encouragement. She never tired of kissing him, and kissing was never enough. Her hands slipped beneath his shirt, along the ridges of his back. He rocked against her and she melted.

****

They’d been married for six months, the happiest six months of Daniel’s life. Except for the seven months prior to that when they were engaged. And the four years prior to that when she was his best friend. He still couldn’t believe it sometimes. That fate had allowed them to find one another, had brought them together and led them to such joy.

He moaned as her arms curled around him. He could never get over how warm she was, how soft and inviting. Her sweetness dissolved on his tongue, making him crave more. He braced one hand on the headboard to keep it from squeaking and waking the sleeping three-year-old in the next room.

He slipped between her legs, sighing as he brushed against her wetness. “Perhaps I should wear these glasses all the time.”

The vibration of her laughter trilled through him. “Perhaps you should.” She raised her hips beneath him and he sank into her. Her breath came in hot puffs against his neck. He inhaled the vanilla scent of her hair then kissed his way back to her lovely mouth.

Her ankles locked behind him and he felt her liquefying. He pulled back to look at her, eyes shut, lips parted, breath catching in her beautifully arched throat. He loved to watch her come.

“Daniel,” she gasped, pulsating around him. He’d never told her, but the sound of her calling his name was his favorite part. He slowed his pace, hoping to take her for round two. Marienne seemed to have other ideas, changing position, tilting her hips so he plunged even deeper. She quickened their rhythm, straining against him, her fingers clasping at his back and he was powerless against her. He pressed his lips together, trying not to groan too loudly, as he throbbed inside her.

Marienne snuggled alongside him. He stroked her arm, half asleep and wholly content.

“You like the glasses better now?” she whispered.

“Very much so.” He laughed. He’d forgotten he was still wearing them. “Though they’re a bit smudged.” He closed one eye, then the other, trying to see which lens was clearer.

“Here.” She took them off his face, opened her mouth and puffed her breath onto one lens.

“Well now I like them even better,” he said. “Though I’m a bit jealous.” He nuzzled her with his nose.

“Do you want these clean, or not?”

“Will it involve more of the puffing?”

“Yes.”

“Then by all means continue.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, feigning annoyance, then puffed again.

“Ooo, baby,” he said.

She shook her head as she polished the lenses with the edge of her tank top.

“A little to the left,” he said. That did it. She giggled.

“Here.” She placed them on his nose. “Better?”

“Much. But you’ve made me too tired to read.”

She swatted at him but he caught her arm, pulling her closer. “I love you,” he said, kissing her, wanting more of the sweetness.

****

Daniel yawned and stretched. He could hear water running then the sound of the bathroom door opening. Before he opened his eyes, he could see the sunlight streaming into the still darkened bedroom.

He felt Marienne sit down on the edge of the bed next to him and wondered why she was up so early. Neither of them were morning people, and it was Saturday. They usually let Ella be their alarm clock, and he had yet to hear her tapping at their door.

He reached his arm around Marienne’s waist, eyes still closed. He opened them to see her polishing his glasses again.

“Mmmmm.” He tightened his grip on her. “Good morning.” He kissed her leg.

“Good morning.” She leaned in and kissed him. “Do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

“I need you to read something.”

He was still groggy, but he placed the glasses on his face.

“I need to know if you see one line or two.”

One line or two?
She handed him three plastic sticks. He blinked as he took them from her. Each stick had a clear plastic window displaying a series of lines. His mouth fell open. He looked up to find her staring at him, eyes shimmering. “Are you?” He wanted to hear her say it.

“Yes.” She nodded, her eyes brimming
with tears.

He looked at the sticks then back at her as it sank in.

We’re having a baby.

He found his voice. “We’re having a baby.”

“Yes,” she said again.

He sat up and wound his arms around her, kissing her mouth, her cheeks, her hair.
A baby.
“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she said. “Are you okay?”

He ran his fingers through her hair, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs. “I’m more than okay.” He kissed her again.

She grinned, her cheeks flushed.

Memories of the horrible morning sickness she’d had during her pregnancy with Ella flooded his mind. His hand went to her stomach. “How do you feel? Are you nauseated?”

“Not yet,” she said. “And I think I’m pretty far along. When I was late, I thought maybe…but I kept waiting to feel sick, and when I didn’t, I figured I was just skipping a month. That can happen the first several months after you go off the pill. Then I realized how late I was, so I took the tests this morning.”

“And they’re accurate?” He held his breath wanting so badly for this to be a certainty.

“99%,” she said.

Close enough
. His heart thrummed. He was about to ask another question when the familiar rapping came at the door.