Holiday Illusion (18 page)

The door opened behind him and he turned to see Mark enter. “Hey.”

Lucas shook his head. “I can't believe that's my dad lying there. I've never seen him so…helpless.”

Mark's hand came down on his shoulder in a gesture of comfort. “He's stable. Barely. We need to keep a close eye on him, but at least he's responding to the drugs and seems to be breathing a lot better.”

“This was all a terrible shock for him.” Lucas filled his friend in on everything that had occurred. Mark gave a low whistle.

“Yeah, pretty crazy, huh? So, when is he going to wake up?”

Shrugging, Mark moved in to adjust the buttons on one of the machines. “I don't know. I kind of thought he might stir a little before now.”

“Anna will be up in a minute. She went to check on Paulo. I think she just wanted to give me some time with my father.”

“That's a classy lady you've got there.”

“Don't I know it. Only I don't have her yet.” He blew out a sigh, thinking of all the talking they still had to do.

Mark clapped him on the back again. “You will.”

Lucas certainly hoped so but wasn't quite as confidant as his buddy. Mark left and he turned to find his father's eyes trained on him. Taking the man's gnarled, spotted hand in his, he stared back into the face that had never once said, “I love you” to his son. He gazed down at the man who didn't seem to have a compassionate bone in his body or understand the word mercy. And in that moment, Lucas made a decision. He said, “I love you, Dad.”

At first he wondered if his father heard him. Then one tear made a silent trek down the side of his father's face, crossed his temple and disappeared into the shell of his ear. A feeble squeeze tightened his fingers, bringing a lump to Lucas's throat. Was that all it took? Just saying those three little words?

Thomas's hand came up, fumbled with the oxygen mask then managed to pull it off. “I'm sorry, Lucas. For everything…don't blame you for Lance's death,” he wheezed.

“Shh, don't talk, Dad, it's okay.”

“I…admire you. You followed…your dream.”

Swallowing hard, Lucas wondered if he'd heard the man right. “Thanks, Dad. Now, be quiet and get some rest. If you have a relapse, Mark'll kill me.”

The ghost of a smile crossed the old man's lips. “I…always wanted to be a…doctor. You did it. Good for you. Proud of you.” He let the oxygen mask slip back on, then his eyes shut and a measure of peace seemed to come over his features. In shock, unable to find any more words in his suddenly scrambled brain, thanks to his father's confession, Lucas figured everything else he had to say could wait.

Now, he had to find Anna. She was probably with Paulo. He'd check there first.

 

Making her way to Paulo's room, Anna dreaded the upcoming talk with Lucas, but it was time. She understood that he wasn't ready to leave the hospital because of his father, so they'd find someplace private when he was free. She knew he was in love with her and possibly even wanted to tell her so. And she needed to come clean about why she couldn't marry him.

She couldn't just leave without being honest. That wasn't fair. It was time to face one of her biggest fears. Telling the man she loved she could never have his child. Getting shot at almost didn't compare to the fear now filling her. She choked back the sobs that threatened, fiercely telling herself she had to get through this. She'd survive.
Please let me do this without falling apart, God.

She made her way up to Paulo's room and Anna found Lucas already there. He turned to smile but she saw the seriousness in Lucas's eyes and wondered what he was thinking.

“Will you go to church with me Christmas Eve?” he asked.

That wasn't the question she thought he'd been going to ask. But…“Sure, I'd love to. Then I guess I need to start thinking about the future and what I'm going to do with it.”

Lucas merely smiled and put an arm around her shoulders. “Well, I can promise you this. You're not doing it without me.”

“Or me,” Paulo piped up.

C
hristmas Eve blew in with a flurry of freezing temperatures and good cheer. Anna walked up the steps to the church breathing in the scent of firewood and spiced cider, cinnamon punch and just…Christmas. It smelled like Christmas. The stars twinkled on a canopy of black as she waited for Lucas to catch up with her. They'd spent a lot of the day at the hospital just visiting and talking with Lucas's father and entertaining Paulo. And she'd never gotten around to telling him she couldn't have children. But she didn't want to ruin his Christmas, either.

Anna had asked Lucas to go to the Christmas Eve service with her at Ted and Joni's church. He'd agreed and her heart felt full. He'd parked the car and was now jogging across the lot. Finally, he stepped up beside her, grinned down at her and took her hand.

She grinned back. “Ready?”

“With you by my side, I'm ready for anything.”

“You're so corny, you know that?” The twinkle in her eye probably exposed the fact she was teasing, but that was okay.

Laughter rumbled from him and he swept her up in a bear hug. “Lucas, put me down!”

“Oh, Edith, would you look at that.” The warbled voice reached Anna and she flushed with embarrassment as a little old lady with gray hair and her companion walked past her and into the church. The lady who must be Edith turned back and gave her a wink.

Lucas gave another deep chuckle that tickled her ear. “Corny or not, I mean it.”

What a scene they were making right there on the church steps. She'd never seen Lucas so…so…so…free, unaffected and unburdened. It made her heart sing. Not that he was over what had happened with his family; of course that would take time. But as soon as he realized he was in no way responsible for his brother's death, a weight seemed to lift from his shoulders. He still grieved Lance's death, but in a new way. It was grief free of guilt. He was working on the anger he felt toward Godfrey, but had already told Anna there was no way he was letting that ruin the rest of his life.

They walked on into the church and snagged a pew halfway down the aisle. The aisle she envisioned walking down one day with Lucas waiting for her on the other end. The vision sent shivers all through her. Good shivers. Scary shivers. They still had one more issue to discuss and she dreaded it. Refusing to let that cast a pall over her day, she shrugged out of her coat and gloves, placing them on the pew beside her in anticipation of the worship experience to come. Strains from the piano played softly as the pews filled. Hushed pre-service chattering went on around her and she smiled as Joni slipped in to sit beside her. Ted shook hands with Lucas, who then wrapped an arm around Anna's shoulders and snuggled her tight up under his arm. Spicy cologne tickled her nose and she knew it would be a scent she'd never be able to smell without thinking of him.

Thank you, Lord.

Peace filled her. It would be all right. The Lord would work it out. Somehow.

The service started and the Christmas music she loved so much filled the air. The pastor read the Christmas story from Luke 2 while Anna smiled and thought of Paulo. She'd be sure to read it to him tomorrow.

On the way out of the church, Anna's cell phone vibrated in her pocket. Looking at the number, she frowned.

“Who is it?” Lucas asked, noting her troubled expression.

“Justin. What does he want?”

“Are you going to answer it?”

Sighing, she flipped it to her ear and said, “Hello, Justin.”

“Merry Christmas, Anna.”

“You should be home with your family. What are doing working?”

“You know the bad guys never take time off.”

Unfortunately, she knew that only too well. “So what do you have?”

“Your boyfriend's hunch was right. The dead body was de Chastelain's twin.”

Taking a deep breath, she said flatly, “You found him.”

“De Chastelain talked, big time. He's trying to go for a reduced sentence. Apparently, after all those years, Brandon showed up at an inopportune moment to pay brother Shawn a visit. When Brandon realized what was going on, he threatened to turn Shawn in. Unable to let that happen, Shawn killed him.”

“But the camera in the room was turned off.”

“Simple, remote control. Wouldn't take two seconds.”

“What else?” She glanced at Lucas, who was helping one of the elderly women down the steps of the church. The little lady smiled up at him, patted his hand, then whispered something in his ear. Lucas grinned and nodded.

Anna focused back on what Justin was saying. “We also know who shot you that day.”

Okay, now her knees felt a little weak. “Who?” she breathed.

“De Chastelain's wife.”

“What?” She didn't like the squeaky sound of her voice but couldn't seem to help it.

“When we found the brother's body, buried under a storage shed out back, we found gloves and the same black mask that we caught on the surveillance videos. Our forensics people pulled some hair from the mask and were able to match up the DNA with de Chastelain's wife.”

“But…why?”

“Apparently, de Chastelain was obsessed with finding you and killing you. It was all he could focus on.”

“And Sherry's jealousy finally got the better of her,” Anna surmised. “I bet she hung out around that office daily. Just waiting for the perfect moment. The protest demonstration provided her a great opportunity. Cover, confusion, diverted focus. Yes, indeed, she couldn't pass that up, could she? I bet she saw the news coverage on TV and hauled herself over there.” Anna blew out a sigh. “All the loose ends are nicely wrapped up now, right?”

“Looks like it. I just wanted to call and let you know. Enjoy your Christmas.”

“Hey, Justin?”

“Yeah?”

“I'm sorry I suspected you.”

A pause. “I guess I can't blame you. Once Jennifer explained it, I would have thought you were crazy if you
hadn't
suspected me.”

“But we've been friends forever and I owe you an apology.”

“Like I said, don't sweat it. It all worked out in the end.”

“Thanks, Justin. You have a merry Christmas, too.”

“You gonna come back to work?”

Anna looked over at Lucas, standing next to the two little old women, making their day by flirting sweetly with both of them. “Naw, I've got a bigger and better job ahead of me.”

“That Lucas fellow?”

“Yeah, that Lucas fellow and hopefully a little boy named Paulo.” Maybe. Depending on how bad Lucas wanted biological children.

 

Christmas Day dawned bright and beautiful with not a snow cloud in sight. The snow machine spurted out flake after flake. Before going up to get Paulo, Lucas said he wanted Anna to see the sight. She gasped in awe. Man-made snow covered the large area of green grass outside the hospital right under Paulo's window. The wide expanse was about the size of a basketball court and was already about two feet deep.

Lucas turned to Anna. “Do you think we could have a talk?”

“I guess it's time, isn't it?”

He led her to a small bench resembling the one in the little prayer garden outside the hospital. The wind blew a chilly breeze, but it was the ice in her heart that chilled her from the inside out. So, this was it. She gave a nervous chuckle. “I hope this little visit doesn't end the same way as the one near the mall.”

“Not a chance. All the bad guys are in jail.” He reached over and took her hand. She flinched but didn't pull away. “I'm in love with you, Anna. I want to marry you.”

“I can't have children,” she blurted. There. She'd said it.

“I know.” The calm acceptance in his eyes stilled her heart for a beat or two. Then it gave a shudder and picked up a double-time rhythm. The look of unconditional love he gave her caused hope to blossom. She looked away, not really wanting to know but unable to stop the word from passing her lips. “How?”

“Marybeth Ferris took great pleasure in telling me.”

That zipped her eyes to his, shock making her jaw drop. “What!” she nearly screeched again. “How did she find…” Awareness flashed through her. “It was her.”

“What?”

“She searched my room. Found the papers detailing my medical history.”

Realization dawned. He said, “That's why no one thought anything. Everyone is so used to her being in that house, they don't even look at her anymore.”

Feeling violated all over again, she shuddered. “I hate it when someone invades my space like that.” She snapped her fingers. “The perfume. Dahlia had it on and I knew I'd smelled it somewhere before. I bet Marybeth talked Dahlia into showing her which room I was staying in. Dahlia wears so much perfume, it lingered.”

“Well, at least that's one question answered.”

“One?”

“Yes, I still have another one for you.”

She gulped. Why was he being so nice? He should be furious with her. She'd let him keep hoping there could be something between them while she'd known how important children were to him and yet she'd kept quiet. And yet, hope remained. He knew she couldn't have children and he'd still asked her to marry him. Still, guilt persisted and she felt the need to explain.

“I should have told you I can't have children when I realized our feelings for each other were moving beyond friendship. But you weren't a Christian at the time, so, to be honest it didn't seem like something I needed to bring up since I wouldn't let myself fall for you. And then we were thrown together in all this craziness that was my life…or I thought was my life, but was actually yours…and I was so focused on finding out who was after me…you…” She blinked, shook her head. “You know what I mean. I was so focused on that, that I just didn't stop to think about it. Avoided thinking about it. Put off saying anything to you.”

He gave her a tender smile, one that took her breath away. What was the deal? He should be reacting…differently. She returned his smile with a wary look. “Why are you smiling?”

“Because you're you.”

Anna blew out a half chuckle, half sob. “What does that mean?”

“You always think you've got to go it alone, don't you?”

“You mean until some psycho shoves his way into my life and forces me to partner up with him to catch a killer?”

“Yeah, but he's a psycho that's in love with you.”

She turned serious. “Lucas, I can't have children.” She'd said it out loud three times now. Maybe it would get easier. “If we get married, I'm so afraid one day you'll look at me and despise me.” Her breath hitched on a sob, but she forced herself to continue, “And I just can't do that to you…or me.”

“Look at me, Anna.”

She did. Tears shimmered, obscuring her vision, but not enough so that she couldn't see the love shining in his eyes. He cupped her chin, pulled her to him to place on her lips the sweetest kiss she'd ever felt.

“I love you. For who you are, what you are and everything in between. I love your dedication to the children at the orphanage. I even love your fierce independence—although it does get on my nerves occasionally.” He smiled at her hiccupped laugh, but turned serious and kept going. “I love the fact that you care enough about me to leave me. When I saw how determined you were to make sure I stayed safe, to the point of being willing to disappear from my life, I knew I'd never find anyone else like you. You understand sacrifice. You and Paulo. I saw Christ in you, Anna. I saw the unconditional love you offered Paulo, offered me. How can I offer you anything less? My love doesn't come with strings attached. It just is. Sure, it hurts that you can't have kids, but mostly because I know how much it hurts you. You are beautiful as is and I believe God has amazing plans for us. Like adopting a little kid named Paulo who really needs a family.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks as he spoke, ripping every last shred of uncertainty from her. Flinging her arms around his neck, she clung, weeping into his shoulder, the good one, and thanking God at the same time. Her crying jag finished, she pulled back with an embarrassed shrug. “Well, what do I say to that? Ditto?”

“That works for me.” He helped her mop up, swiped a few tears of his own and their eyes met.

And they burst out laughing at exactly the same time. Anna leaned over to whisper against his lips, “We're a pair, aren't we?”

“Till death do us part.”

 

The piercing shriek pulled them apart and around to see Paulo, well on his way to a hopefully normal life, vocally expressing his joy at the sight of the white playground. “Miss Anna, Dr. Lucas, merry Christmas! It's snowing!”

Lucas laughed at the child's unmitigated happiness.

Ever since clearing up the criminal investigations, he knew Anna had been investigating another possibility. Adopting Paulo. Lucas agreed without question that the child belonged with them. If he could ever get the woman to say yes to his question.