Hollywood Ever After (29 page)

I clicked on my voicemail, listening to two messages for the kids before I slid down the bathroom wall to the floor as I tried not to hyperventilate. Daniel had called, again and again. He’d left nine different messages, each growing more aggressive.

By the time I’d listened to the first few I wanted to stomp my phone into a million pieces. Maybe then his voice, his words, and the fear that rose within me would disappear.

Chapter Fourteen

By the last message, his control was gone. He was yelling angrily into the phone. “You can’t be serious! What the hell are you thinking? That I’d let you mess up the kids’ lives even more because you’ve started screwing some boy? That he’s going to stay with you?
You?
You’re old enough to be his mother. It’s not going to happen, Claire. I’m not going to
let
it happen. I promise you that.”

I felt nausea hit my stomach as his tone pulled some of my nightmares from the past forward. I closed my eyes and sat, taking deep breaths. I needed to get a grip.

I heard Regina Hammel’s voice then. “Claire, it’s Regina. Listen, give me a call when you get this. I haven’t heard from the site manager yet, but I don’t want you to worry too much. Let’s talk about your options. Call me.”

I took a deep breath and put down the phone. I flexed my hands and smoothed my hair back, trying to restore my earlier calm.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. “Claire?” Josh whispered.

My throat seemed to have closed off, but I forced the word out. “Yes?” I pulled myself to stand before the sink, splashing water on my face.

He peeked in, coming to stand behind me. I wiped my face, meeting his eyes as I hung the towel up. He moved forward, kicking my cell phone that I’d left, open, on the floor. He stooped to pick it up and cocked a questioning eyebrow at me. “Everything all right?”

“Just checking messages. The phone was beeping at me.” I sounded weird, even to myself.

His eyebrow stayed quirked, so I knew he wasn’t convinced. But he didn’t push; that wasn’t his way. “Come on, then.” He took my hand in his and led me to his room.

He stepped back, letting me in. The door shut behind me and his arms caught me into an embrace. I launched myself at him, clinging fiercely. My lips were hungry, slightly desperate on his as I twisted my hands in his hair to hold on to him tightly.

“I didn’t bring you here to lead you astray,” he mumbled breathlessly against my lips.

“Please…lead away…” I gasped as his hand came up to cup my breast. The other hand pulled my head back to deepen his kiss. I felt my knees go weak, but he scooped me up and we landed on his bed. His lips were away from mine long enough for me to murmur, “Someone might hear us.”

He looked down at me. “Knowing you, very likely.” He kissed me.

His hands slid under my nightgown, moving over my skin and kneading before he pulled the gown over my head. He shrugged out of his gray T-shirt and boxer shorts quickly, leaving nothing to separate us. His hands pulled me under him, lifting my hips to meet him. I couldn’t stop trembling as he entered me, our groans muffled.

I felt his eyes on my face and stretched to kiss him as my chest tightened. He moved us, our rhythm sweet and slow. I loved him back, kissing him on his collarbone, neck, cheek, and lips.

“I love you, Claire,” he whispered along my neck, his lips dropping sweet feather-light kisses on my shoulder.

His hands traveled over my stomach, one lifting my hips, the other tangling in my hair as he kissed my mouth tenderly. I knew I couldn’t stop myself as my climax hit me fast and hard. I grabbed his hair and pulled his mouth to mine. My cries were caught in our kiss, my body shuddering around his. He buried his face in his pillow, his groaned release muffled. He held me, pulling me onto his chest as we lay back on his bed, his arms tight around me.

My head lay against his chest as my breathing returned to normal. I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of his heart beating, wishing I could stay here, like this.

I felt fiercely alone, even tangled up with him as I was. I shouldn’t feel such panic, and yet it was there and I wasn’t sure what to do. I felt fear, not for me but for the kids, protecting this, and Josh.

Daniel didn’t make idle threats.

I tried to put together an option that might make sense, to keep Josh and the kids safely out of harm’s way for the time being. “Josh, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.” His voice was a whisper as I stared up at him.

I paused. “Why are you coming with me?”

His brow furrowed then, his hands going still against my back. “To be with you.”

“If I told you that I need time to sort a few things out, would you give it to me?” My eyes were locked with his. I needed to see my lawyer, to see what I needed to do to pursue full custody, to remove the constant fear and uncertainty that Daniel incited.

If Josh was in LA, he was safe. If I sent the kids and Mom to Joe’s, away from Daniel, they’d be safe. And I’d feel better about everything. And it would be a temporary arrangement. Just until I could make certain I could protect them. That everything was legal and done. That was what I needed to do.

He frowned and took a deep breath. His hands seemed to tighten against me momentarily. “If that’s what you really want, I’d give it to you.” His face was tight but his hands were soft on my skin.

I blinked, keeping my eyes closed for a minute as I steadied my breath. “I think it might be best if you go on to LA. I need time to work through this. To fix this situation with Daniel. And I can’t do it while I’m worrying about all of you.”

His face fell. “Claire—”

“Josh, please.” I tried to meet his eyes but knew I’d start crying.

He was staring at me, watching me closely. “What’s happened?” His hands tried to catch my face, but I stubbornly tucked my chin and stared at his chest.

“Nothing. Nothing really.”

His finger tilted my head back. “Then why won’t you look at me?”

I took another deep breath and met his eyes. I didn’t know how long I might be able to keep control, but the warmth and concern that radiated from his hazel gaze was almost my undoing.

“Let me in, Claire.” His face was open. Hurt.

My brow crumpled and I bit my lip to prevent the telltale trembling that I knew would soon set in. “I can’t, Josh.”

He shook his head, desperation coloring his voice. “What is it that you think I can’t handle?”

I smiled a bit, shaking my head in protest. “It’s not that you
can’t
handle it. You shouldn’t
have
to.”

His eyes were fiery. “You shouldn’t make decisions for me.”

I tried to slip from his side, but his legs slid up, effectively holding me in his lap. I stared at him, quirking an angry eyebrow.

He laughed, shaking his head. “You’re not going to distract me with your faces, you know.”

I cocked my head to one side. “It’s something
I
need to take care of—”

He cut me off, his eyes narrowed. “We agreed to share everything, remember?”

“Josh, you’re intentionally misunderstanding.”

“It’s hardly a misunderstanding. I don’t know what’s happened, but I know I’m worried for you. Because you can’t do this alone, and you shouldn’t have to. Talk to me.” His face hovered inches above mine as he kissed me sweetly. “Please, Claire.”

I met his gaze, my mind racing as I let his words sink in. Tell him? Include him? Or not? I wanted to. I wanted his strength. I knew he’d make it easier with his support. But it felt selfish to want to lean on him now. I spoke softly, trying to inject a little humor. “I can’t help it. I don’t want to shut you out, but I don’t want you to be sucked into the…the vortex of
gloom
that seems to hover right outside my happiness.”

He laughed a little at my tone, my attempt to lighten the very real emotions behind the words. “Happy guardian, remember?” His hands found mine.

I nodded, letting my eyes travel over his face as I considered what to do. “Yes.” My eyes searched his. I had to trust; our relationship depended on that. I took a deep breath. “Daniel called.” I found my gown and pulled my phone from the pocket. I handed it to him. “I think once you listen to his messages, you’ll understand why I’m freaking out. Just wait until I’m in bed because I don’t want to hear them. Once was more than enough.”

He looked at me, then the phone. “What did he say? In general?”

“He’s angry about the way things are progressing between you and me.” I chewed on my lip anxiously. “He threatened me. And you.”

There was a loud thud from the bathroom as the door was thrown into the wall. The sound of retching followed, then crying. “
Mom!
” It was Will. I pulled my gown on quickly and was out the door before he could call again.

Natalie was standing in the bathroom doorway, bleary-eyed. “He climbed in bed with me a while back, saying his tummy hurt. At least he made it to the bathroom.”

“Thank you, Nat.” I kissed her forehead and dropped to my knees by Will. “Are you okay?” I wet a washcloth as I knelt beside Will, wiping his face as he shivered on the floor by the toilet.

“I think so.” He swayed on unsteady feet.

I smiled at Natalie. “Go climb into bed and try to get some sleep. Sorry.”

“Okay. Night,” Natalie mumbled as she shuffled back to her room, closing the door behind her.

Josh appeared then. “Need help?”

I shook my head. “Thanks, though. I’ll get him into a bath and see what happens.” I smiled as Josh surveyed the mess with a wrinkled nose.

“I’ll go get some cleaner. Be right back,” he murmured through tight lips.

I drew Will a warm bath, washing him clean and letting him soak while I began cleaning up the bathroom and rinsed his pajamas in the sink. He’d begun to chatter away, apparently fully recovered.

“All right, Will?” Josh came in and perched on the edge of the tub, patting Will’s little shoulder.

“I feel better.” Will smiled sleepily.

“It seems Will had a Toblerone bar hidden in his suitcase. He overheard Helen and Natalie talking about Customs and having to declare things you were bringing into the country. He was worried, so he decided to eat the whole thing and not cause any problems at the airport.” I smiled, shaking my head.

“Ah.” Josh laughed softly. “That explains it.”

I shook out a towel and held it open. Josh scooped Will out of the tub and we dried him off and put him into some clean pajamas. Will curled into Josh’s shoulder as he was carried into the bedroom. I pulled the blankets straight and fluffed his pillow. Josh put him down and tucked the blankets around him. We stood, staring down at him in the dark.

“I should go to bed.” I looked at Josh from the corner of my eye.

He mumbled, “Yes, you should.” He pulled me into his arms and kissed me, holding me against him with soft hands. I felt myself leaning into him. “The flight’s booked, Claire. I know you think you need to protect me and the children. But it’s your turn to let someone help protect you. It’s my job because I love you. I want to help you through this. And selfishly, I want to be with you.”

I shook my head. “I can’t help that I worry.”

“I know. It’s because you care.” He kissed me again, his eyes warm on mine as he said, “It will be all right, I promise.”

I sighed, letting myself relax against him. He led me quietly to the other bed in the room, tucking the blankets around me as if I were Will. “Sleep…and dream of me.”

And I did.

***

Saying goodbye was difficult. Helen and Natalie were heartsick, but Josh assured them that we’d all be back together again soon. I knew his reassurances weren’t in vain; once I had things taken care of, we would see them again—without the need of bodyguards or the fear of someone stalking us.

Surprisingly, the flight to New York was fun. I’d never flown First Class, but it was expected with Josh. We had the cabin to ourselves and a wonderful stewardess who happened to like children, which reduced stress all around.

I watched Josh laugh as he read to Will, passing the time on our flight. Will seemed to delight in making Josh laugh.

My mother’s voice was almost a whisper as she regarded me with misty eyes. “I had a phone call, Claire. From Daniel.”

I had no doubt that my eyes were round. “Oh?” He’d called Mom too?

“He was really upset. Kind of frantic.” She looked meaningfully at the kids.

Josh finished “Green Eggs and Ham” and Will slipped from Josh’s lap. In two seconds, he was engrossed in the video game Natalie was playing. He climbed into the seat behind her and leaned over the top for a better view. At least they seemed unaffected by all the surrounding drama. I began to chew on my lip, staring out the window.

“I’m glad he’s not in Texas right now or I’d be really worried about what might be waiting for you.” Mom looked at Josh with the kids. “He sounded really…really
strange
.”

“When did he call you?” I asked.

“Early this morning. He said he’d tried to call you but couldn’t get through. He said he was worried and wanted to make sure you were all right.”

“He didn’t say anything about England? About being there?”

She shot another look at the kids, speaking softly. “He acted surprised, like he had no idea we were out of the country. And he was angry. He was ranting a bit, about needing to talk to you and seeing the kids.”

I felt a knot of fear twist my gut. I glanced at Natalie, who was squealing as she tried frantically to beat her game. Will was laughing at her. There was no way I would let him see the kids. I knew, in the pit of my stomach, that something had changed. Though he’d never directed his temper towards the kids before, I would not put them in harm’s way now. And everything about Daniel seemed dangerous now.

Josh leaned forward, taking my hand. His voice was soft, but his fingers were tight around mine. “Is it safe for you to go back?” He’d handed me back my phone this morning, saying only “I’m going with you” and dropping a kiss on my head before joining the breakfast table.