Holt's Holding part two (The Holt's Series) (15 page)

The song ended and he pulled from me. One kiss to the cheek
and he again left me standing. Alone

I didn’t know what game he was playing. I turned and
couldn’t find him. My heart couldn’t take this anymore.

Shifting gears, I spotted Sam at the bar with Brady and
Sebastian. It was time for a stiff drink. I need to get drunk and truly just
forget life for one night.

One shot turned into many. Midnight now fast approaching, I
knew Brady was going to propose.

We commenced our speeches once more closing the Silent
auction and thanking our guest.

Brady on queue walked to the floor. Offering up some humor,
I watched knowing the time was nearing.
 
Brady pulled Sam out to the floor offering one of the most romantic and
heart felt speeches as he bent down and proposed to Sam.

The applause was quick to follow as she said yes. I was
more than happy for the two of them.

Sebastian came round and hugged me from behind; his head to
the side of mine. I embraced his hold.
 
He was innocent in his gesture to comfort me.
 
I needed it.

“I know your heart is breaking right now. There are no
words to offer that will make your pain ease. He’ll come around. He too is
suffering. He’s just too stubborn to know how to deal with it.” Sebastian
whispered.

“I can’t handle much more Sebastian. My heart can’t handle
any more. I need to move on with or without him.” Pausing a moment, my mouth
became unfiltered adding, “At this point, it looks to be without him.” Leaning
into to his hold, “I ask myself; why couldn’t it have been you? Why him?”

“I suppose, I can understand the question. I wish it were
me, who held your heart. At last, it is not Lillian. Can I confess something?”

I turned slightly in his hold.

“What would you possibly have to confess that I don’t
already know?”

“Good point, but this is not of me. Charlie admittedly has
always envied you as a little girl for obvious reasons, however, the one
important fact is that in his jealousy, he covered the fact that he was taken
with you from day one. The moment his eyes fell upon you all those years ago.
It was easier
fro
him to hide behind his jealousy and
label it hate then admit what it really was.”

He released his hold and turned me around. “The two of you
are more alike than you realize. I finally see it now. You and he were always
meant for the other. I pray the two of you find the will to let go before you
both lose each other.”

“He walked away from me Sebastian. I begged him not to”

“He’s hurting Lilly, he doesn’t know how to put things
right. He blames himself for all of it. I know it’s asking a lot of you, but
it’s you who needs to pull him through.”

“I can barely keep myself above water. How am I supposed to
help him?” Sebastian was nuts for even thinking it.
 
I don’t have the answers.
 
For me to realize this is hard.

“I’m not sure. That’s not something I can map out for you.
I’m certain you’ll find your way. At least I hope you do.” He signed.

The countdown began for the New Years. Face to face with
Sebastian, I was uncertain how to reach Charlie or myself.

“Happy new year’s Lillian” his hand under my chin; my breath
hitched. He leaned down and I knew he was only going for my cheek.

“That’s not a New Year’s kiss Sebastian. I fear I owe you a
real one.” I placed my lips to his and kissed him. I felt I owed him one kiss.

This kiss was what it should be; however, it lacked the
passion and need that Charlie’s invoked.

He pulled away slow and debated. “I wish it was me you
wanted.”

“I’m sorry Sebastian.”

“Don’t be. But thank you Lillian.”

We broke off and I did my rounds with the guests.

It would be an hour later when the ball would wrap up,
before I felt the weight and exhaustion that was plaguing me.
 
I still had to handle the close and clean up
orders.

Finally spent; I walked down the hall passing the lobby
bar. I spotted Sebastian, as some woman was desperate for his attention. He
noticed me and winked. I smiled back politely and made my way to the elevators.

I was exhausted and very ready for bed.

Reaching the pent house, I made my way making sure I went
to the correct room.

Closing and locking the door behind me, I made my way
stripping my dress off followed by the shoes and stockings. The room dark; I
just didn’t have the energy left to look for my bag.

I climbed into the massive bed. My eyes landed on to the
open window to the harbor. I didn’t know what to do about Charlie.

Hugging the pillow, I allowed the tears to once again fall.

Lost and confused; I wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

Shit the bed moved…oh god I wasn’t alone.

Turning slow, this was Charlie’s bed. We were face to face.
It was obvious this was a setup by all.

Charlie seemed shocked to see me.

“Sebastian and Brady set this up” I whispered more for
myself then him.

“It seems they have.” He breathed out.

I went to pull myself out of the bed when his hand softly
fell down my back.

“Stay. I can go. I can take the sofa tonight.”
 
He offered

“Don’t be silly. This is your bed and clearly their plan
was in vain.”
 
I sat up.

Feeling the bed jostle with his movement, he too sat up.
Pulling up behind me, I felt the heat of his breath on my skin; his lips on my
shoulder; grazing softly.

“I don’t know how to make things right. I don’t mean to
hurt you; yet it seems that’s all I do.” Charlie whispered. “Julie had set this
all in play. I had no idea who you really were. I thought you were just some
girl she had issue with. I learned quickly that I couldn’t play that game with
you. I fell for you so quick. I had no concern for what you wanted. I got you
pregnant knowingly. Now you’re paying for my carelessness. You see I’m not
worthy of an ounce of your love. I never was. I foolishly thought that somehow
having this baby with you, would tie you to me; forcing you to forgive my
mistakes. I wanted to do right by you. It was a foolish man to think that. Then
you lost her…my heart broke for you and the pain I caused.”

I pushed away from him. Probably what he was waiting for.
Standing, I turned back to the bed looking firmly at him.

“You think I didn’t know of the setup? You think I was
innocent in all this. I knew Charlie. I knew who you were. I knew what your
scheming bitch of a sister was up to. I knew it all and I played the game. The
only thing I made a mistake in was letting go of it. I fell in love with you.
Though, I did my best to keep it from myself…I knew that night before my
accident. It was too late…I had fallen quick and hard for you.” The tears ever
present fell down. Shaking my head, I knew not what to do, what to say next.

“You left me. You just walked away and left me. How am I
supposed to deal with that?”
 
My tone now
louder as the hurt laced each word.

“I did…I’m sorry there is nothing I can say to excuse
that.” Pausing he ran he hands thru his hair, “I watched you almost every night
as you cried in your sleep, and I had no idea what to do for you knowing I was
the cause.”

“I can’t do this Charlie…I just don’t have the strength.
You told me you loved me…you told me to hold on to that. Your words were empty
just as I now feel. If this is done then it needs to be done.”

I walked from the bed. Turning, I saw a shirt on the chair,
possibly his I put it on and made my way to the door.

Charlie lifted from the bed and blocked the door.

“Where do you think you’re going?
 
In only my shirt no less?”

“Sofa” I reach to the side for the handle.

His hands swiftly reached under the shirt and pulled me
into his body.

So easy I was to surrender to his touch. His hands on my
skin; I loved this man and he was my weakness.

“Stay…if only for tonight. Stay with me. I have no right to
ask you too. But I want you to stay, please?”

Resting my head on his bare chest; taking in his words. I
knew I would stay. I released my hold on the door wrapping my arms into him. I
longed to feel his arms around me and I didn’t want to let go. If for just
tonight, I wanted to be with him. I knew I should walk away. I was asking for
my heartache. He was my drug and I was addicted.

Charlie eagerly pushed us away from the door stripping the
shirt off me. There was just enough light in the room allowing our eyes to
lock. His hand at the nape of my neck, holding me into his gaze. I was so lost,
caught up in him and the need I would not be able to escape.

My hands slowly rose to his face pulling him in. His lips
were now my need.

The kiss; slow and teasing as if it was our first. The
passion there; always there, igniting my desire and his, as he pushed his
arousal to me. Moving to the bed was a natural escalation of the kiss.

So easily, the kiss changed from tempered to passion and
need.

His hands ripped my panties off.

I helped him strip his briefs off. Spreading my legs, he
paused poising himself at my entrance. His breathing labored. I could tell he
was debating his action. Reaching down, I grabbed his arousal and wrapped my
legs around him. His eyes worried; he looked into mine. Cupping his face, I
lifted up and kissed him. That was enough to lead him straight into my body. He
penetrated slow as I felt the tremble roll thru him.

“I don’t want to hurt you” he managed thru the kiss.

“Then don’t stop,” I added.

Opening my eyes seemed hard. I was tired and more
importantly deliciously sore. Charlie wrapped himself on top of me, like a
child holding onto his mother for support and security. His head on my chest;
one arm under me the other wrapped over me. One leg for good measure; perhaps
an attempt to hold me down, was all I could assume.

Gently running the tips of my fingers across his back, I
felt debated.
 
I had no idea what today
or the next day would bring. He never asked for more than last night.

Which implied; no future for him and me.
 
Then my mind shifted on a different matter;
Julie.

It was she; who tried to kill me. The shot at Power Plant
was by someone she hired. Brady had found the money trail.

It was her attempt who pierced my brake lines, in the
parking garage of our building just before she left for Haiti, which she
planned as her alibi. She just hadn’t realized that there were camera’s all
over the garage. Lastly, she had provoked the wager between Charlie and
Sebastian in another attempt to hurt me.

How would Charlie deal with her? I had no clue as to how he
would take this news. Nor did I know if he understood the true topic of
conversation that she and I danced around last night. It was his sister after
all.

I tried to shake it from my thoughts. I just wanted this
time with him. For a moment, I wanted to let it all go and have a normal
experience of simply holding him.
 
Looking to my surroundings, this all felt too familiar?
 
Charlie on top of me, the room.
 
Strange flashes that couldn’t be real started
to surge.
 
Prom, I was eighteen.
 
Something was there, I just couldn’t remember.

Sifting through muddy memories, there was something
important there, it was to blurred to remember.

A few minutes later, the normalcy I was enjoying
disappeared with the screeching voice entering the penthouse.

“Oh, fuck off Sebastian. Where is Charlie? He was supposed
to meet me for breakfast this morning.”

“He’s sleeping. Leave him the fuck alone.”

“Bit me!” she spit out.

“I’ll pass. Venom like yours isn’t something I’m remotely
interested in.” Sebastian’s tone was sadistic and laced in hate for her.

“Oh, did you not have any success bedding Charlie’s sloppy
seconds?”

“Jealous much?” I heard him laugh

“Where is he?” she demanded.

“Like I said in bed.”

I could hear her walking this way. Shit

“I suggest you not go in there,” Sebastian warned.

“Why the fuck not? You think I haven’t seen him in bed?”

“He’s not alone.” Sebastian laughed.

“Bull shit. He never allows any woman to share his bed. I’m
sure he sent her on her way last night or dawn possibly.”

The door flew open…

“Get the fuck up!”

Her eyes landed on me and the shock was priceless.