Holy Rollers (34 page)

“That’s what we get for not knocking,” said Grant.

Dan turned to Jared. “Who’s the woman with your father?”

“My, uh…my
sister
?”

Still looking away, Mary Beth motioned in the direction of Jared. “We need to speak to you in private, brother dear. Please join us in the hall.”

“Now? But I have company!”

“Now!”
And she added, “Don’t make me come over there, or you and your friend will both have four less inches to play with. And neither of you can spare it.”

Jared looked to Dan, said, “I’ll be right back,” and bounced off the bed to join them in the hall.

Grant was trying not to look, but there was something he couldn’t ignore. “It’s cold in the hall. You might wanna cover yourself.”

“Oh. Right.” Jared wrapped the sheet around himself once again and padded out to the hall, closing the door behind him.

Mary Beth handed him his keycard and a claim ticket.

“Here’s what you need to do,” said Grant. “And we kept it simple, so you should be able to handle it. I need you to swap this claim-check for Merribaugh’s, then get his bag from the front desk and bring it to me. Think you can handle that?”

“Uh…”

“You’ve got to do this quickly, though. I’m getting nervous. If they get that suitcase before we do, we get nothing. Remember there’s seven million dollars riding on this, and ten thousand is yours. No switch means no money for any of us, especially you. Get it?”

“Then
definitely
yes!”

“You’d better get moving. And make sure that failed ex-gay you’ve got naked in your room gets lost before you blow this.” He thought about his word choice, then thought better of correcting himself. If he did, he’d only draw attention to “blow this,” and after a night without sleep he wasn’t in the mood to hear Jared giggle.

Again, Jared watched them until they were out of sight. And again he realized he’d locked himself out of the room. It was only when Dan responded to his knocks and let Jared inside that he remembered he’d been holding the keycard in one hand.

Whatever.

Back in the room, Jared said “I guess we should get ready to get our ex-gay on. It’s almost time for the conference.”

Dan smiled. “We’re not doing a very good job giving up homosexuality, are we?”

“No, not really.”

“Maybe that’s because we don’t want to.”

Jared had certainly given Dan ample reason to think that. And it was the truth, after all. But he also realized it was time to get serious if this scheme was going to have a payoff.

“I think I want to give up sin.” He looked at Dan cautiously. “Don’t you?”

“I think…” Dan trailed off, not sure what he could or should say and deciding less was best. “I guess we’ll find out. In the meantime, you need to get in the shower.”

“Yeah…” Jared smiled. “Care to join me?”

Dan did, so Jared told him they could give up sin after their shower.

$ $ $

After Dan returned to his room, Jared dug Merribaugh’s wallet out from between the mattress and box spring. It was almost too easy. One claim check out, another one in. All he’d have to do was let himself back into Merribaugh’s room, drop the wallet, claim Merribaugh’s suitcase, and run.

But a few minutes later, he realized his plan had a flaw, because when Merribaugh had reported his original keycard—the one Jared now held in his hand—missing, the hotel had issued him a new one…and reset the lock.

So Jared, ever resourceful, figured out another way to return Merribaugh’s wallet, and began sliding the contents under the door. Then he took the empty wallet to a service closet and dropped it down a laundry chute.

Jack Hightower looked at the clock behind the registration desk, calculating both the time he’d been at work and the time he had left as well as how big his next paycheck would be. Although by now he would gladly give up his
entire
paycheck just to get out of his uniform and into bed. Then he had an even more mortifying thought.

They couldn’t make me work
another
shift, could they?

He would quit, he decided. Not even give notice. Just strip off his uniform and walk through the lobby in his underwear, a final defiant good-bye to his employment in the hospitality industry. Let the suits in corporate work double and triple shifts! See how
they
liked it! That would show ’em! They’d be—

“I need to get this bag out of the safe.” Jared Parsells stood on the other side of the desk with a claim ticket in his hand.

“Of course you do,” muttered Hightower, because there was nothing he’d rather do with a line of thirteen people waiting to register than retrieve something from the safe. Still, he did what he had to do, and several minutes later handed over Merribaugh’s suitcase.

“Thanks,” said Jared, who of course didn’t tip.

In the lobby, Jared pushed down the handle and slid the suitcase most of the way under a chair, which he then sat upon. Seven million dollars was hidden under his hot little ass and he felt the warm happiness of success.

He sent Grant a text:
done. in lobby now.

He wondered why, whenever he was on a job, no one seemed to think he could handle himself. Hadn’t he always come through? Other things got bobbled, but never
his
part. His ran smoothly. So smoothly that he was starting to think he might be worth more than ten thousand dollars.

Maybe…Twenty? He deserved
that
much respect. He’d talk to Grant—no, he’d talk to
Chase
—about that later.

He saw Grant and Mary Beth approach from a service door, and leaned forward to pull the suitcase from under the chair.

“Jerry!” Jared looked up at the sound of Merribaugh’s voice. He was approaching quickly. Grant and Mary Beth saw him, too, and veered away. “There you are! I’ve been looking for you.”

“Who, me?” asked Jared innocently, and with a kick from his heel the suitcase was wedged a few inches deeper under the chair.

“Yes, you!” Merribaugh fussed with Jared’s collar before setting one hand on his shoulder. It was a gesture that would have been almost paternal, if Papa was a perv. “Come on, now! Dr. Hurley is opening the conference in just a few minutes, and you
have
to be there.”

Jared tried to subtly break away from Merribaugh’s fingers. “I
have
to?”

“You have to.”

As Merribaugh tugged him through the lobby, Jared’s eyes found Grant and he shrugged helplessly.

$ $ $

Sephora Girl was manning the door as Merribaugh rushed Jared past her and into the ballroom, where two hundred chairs faced the other end of the room. They walked down the center aisle until they reached the front row, and Merribaugh directed Jared to sit in the second seat.

Merribaugh leaned close to his young charge. “As you can see, it would not have looked good if we were late. Dr. Hurley would have definitely noticed.” His voiced verged on giddiness. “You’re about to become a
star
, Jerry!”

Jared craned his neck and looked over the crowd. The room was fairly full and more people were entering. It was going to be difficult to get back to the lobby. He could only hope that Grant had figured out where the suitcase was hidden.

Then he noticed Merribaugh next to him, beaming.

So Jared put his head back in the game. “Yeah. A star.”

$ $ $

“I’m sorry, sir.” Sephora Girl held up her hands helplessly and tried to hide her increasing frustration with Christ-like calm. “But unless you’re wearing a lanyard, I can’t let you in.”

“But I’m telling you,” said Grant. “I lost it. Probably in the chapel.” He wondered if the hotel even had a chapel, but didn’t dwell on it. “And I really need to get in there.”

Her smile was patronizing. “I understand, sir, but the rules are the rules. And by restricting this to registered conference attendees, we’re helping protect you. Otherwise, radical homosexual activists could infiltrate and disrupt what should be a meaningful, life-changing event.”

“Trust me, lady, at this point I need all the life-changing I can get.” He thought about Jared. “And I’m also as anti-gay as anyone.”

She threw up her hands as Grant walked away. “Again, I’m sorry. But God bless you!”

He was going to find a side door—maybe he could pose as a waiter or something—when a much better idea walked in.

“You,” said Grant, grabbing the freshly re-showered Dan Rowell firmly by the elbow and leading him a few yards away before he could react.

“Don’t hit me,” said Dan when he registered who’d grabbed him.

Grant was puzzled. “Why would I hit you?”

“Because of Jared. I mean,
Jerry
! And you’re his father, so…”

It took a moment, but Grant picked up. “Oh, that. Don’t worry about it. But I need you to get a message to him.”

“Where is he?”

“Merribaugh just dragged him inside, but they won’t let me in without one of them neck things.”

Dan looked at his own. “You mean a lanyard?”

“Yeah, that. Anyway, I need you to find him. Tell him I need to talk to him right away. I’ll be in the lobby.”

Dan nodded, understanding the orders but thoroughly confused, and went off to find Jared.

$ $ $

Mary Beth sat in the lobby. She was just eleven feet from seven million dollars, but she had no way of knowing that.

She did know, though, that the tenor of the lobby had changed over the past few minutes. First, a half dozen men marched through the lobby and up to the clerk at the front desk. He’d given them a sour look and the people waiting in line had started to complain, but the men said something and suddenly everyone seemed very deferential.

And then the men, one holding a couple of keycards the clerk handed over, walked to the elevators. They were still waiting when Grant returned.

“What’s with those guys?” she asked

He took one short glance and ducked his head. “FBI.”

“You sure?”

He didn’t bother to take another look. “Oh, yeah.”

The men moved the other guests aside while they boarded the elevator, and the doors closed. No one complained about the delay; as a matter of fact, they’d seemed sort of impressed. This definitely wasn’t New York City, where ninety-seven-year-old ladies would have fought their way onto that elevator.

When they were gone, Mary Beth asked, “You don’t think they’re looking for us, do you?”

“I don’t think so. I mean, they let Constance go…”

She frowned. “Yeah, but maybe that was just a ruse to get the rest of us.”

He looked at the floor, but unfortunately not eighteen inches far enough or he’d have seen the suitcase. “We’re small potatoes to them. I think.”

“If you say so.” She sank back in the chair. “I take it you couldn’t get to Jared.”

“They wouldn’t let me in. But I ran into his boyfriend du jour and asked him to pass on the message.” He sighed. “No telling how well that’s gonna work.”

$ $ $

Almost two hundred men and women—most growing giddy with anticipation, some anxious with dread—waited for Dr. Oscar Hurley in the ballroom. He was fifteen minutes late for his keynote address, but he was Dr. Oscar Hurley, so the audience forgave a lot.

“Hey, poster boy,” said a voice behind Jared, which made him smile until he turned in his seat and came face to face with cocky, red-haired Louis Lombardo.

“Oh. You.”

And the voice of the man sitting next to Lombardo said, “God forgive me,” as the man behind the voice tried to hide his face with one hand.

Jared squinted. He
knew
that face, or at least what he could see through the hand. “Business Center Guy? Is that you?”

Merribaugh turned at the commotion, and when Business Center Guy saw him he said, “God forgive me,” again, a bit louder, and this time hid his face with
both
hands.

“What’s wrong, Max?” Lombardo asked Business Center Guy.

“You know Business Center Guy?” Jared asked.

“I…uh…” Louis Lombardo looked away. “No. No, I don’t.”

Business Center Guy moaned. “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil!” It came out more loudly than he’d intended, given the low profile he’d been trying to keep, and when he realized that he put his hand on Lombardo’s leg.

“Yes, you do!” Jared shouted. “You
do
know Business Center Guy!”

Merribaugh turned and, out of the corner of his mouth, said, “Jerry, this is not approp—”

Business Center Guy moaned once again at the sight of Merribaugh. “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil!” It was
much
louder this time.

“Pipe down, Max,” said Merribaugh. Heads were turning in their direction, and not just from the closer rows.