Holy Rollers (8 page)

“You need money. Since I’m pretty sure you’re not remodeling or buying a decent wardrobe, I figure you’re working a job.” She leaned against the cushioned arm of the couch. “What’s the caper?”

Uninvited, Grant took a seat in her favorite chair. “I need you to bank me twenty thou for the setup. Figure I’ll need the cash for about a month. Maybe six weeks at the outside.”

She whistled. “Twenty thousand dollars is a lot of money, Lambert.”

“Too much money,” Mary Beth added as she stood behind the couch, her arms folded across her chest. “Especially for one of Lambert’s dumbass schemes.”

Grant nodded, deferential to Lisa and again ignoring Mary Beth. “I know it’s a lot of money, but I think you’ll like the rate of return. If this works out…”

Mary Beth grunted at the “if.”

“
When
this works out, you’ll find it worth your while.” He thought for a moment. “Also, I’m gonna need your real estate connections.”

“House or apartment?” asked Lisa.

“Better make it a house,” said Chase, who had been idly looking out a floor-to-ceiling window at the Queensboro Bridge while listening to the conversation. “It’s a ‘house’ kind of community. Plus we’ll need the privacy.”

“How long?”

“Like Grant said, four to six weeks. Starting as soon as we can get keys.”

Lisa sat down on the couch across from Grant, tucking one leg underneath her. “I think you’d better fill me in on the details.”

Chase stepped away from the window and looked at Grant, who sighed and finally said, “There’s some money in a safe in Virginia. And we plan to get it.”

She looked at her nails, although that wasn’t really where her attention was.

“I think you can share a bit more information than that. If we can’t trust each other after all these years…”

“The safe’s in a church.”

“Technically, it’s not in the church,” added Chase. “It’s in an administration building, which is near the church.”

“I don’t know how specific we have to—” Grant began before Lisa cut him off.

“No, I
like
specific. You want twenty grand, and I want every specific detail. That seems like a fair trade.” She smiled triumphantly at their silence. “How much money is in that safe?”

Again, Grant and Chase exchanged glances and held their silence.

“Okay,” said Lisa, when the standoff passed the thirty-second mark, “if you’re not going to tell me how much money’s involved, I’m not going to bankroll the job.”

The words tumbled out of Grant’s mouth. “Seven million dollars.”

Lisa’s eyebrows did a little dance. “
Now
you’ve got my attention. Seven million?” Grant and Chase nodded. “If I give you the seed money, my share is one-third.”

Grant did the math in his head and didn’t like the numbers. Depending on how much cash was actually in the safe, a twenty thou investment could earn her back over two million dollars. Maybe more. That was a ridiculous return for a banker. What he was about to propose was still ridiculous, just slightly less so.

“I’ll pay you back an even half million. A twenty-five-to-one return on your investment. That’s more than fair.”

Lisa pulled a cigarette from her pack, lit it, inhaled, exhaled, tapped ash into a glass ashtray stolen decades earlier from the Russian Tea Room, and otherwise left Grant and Chase hanging until she was confident she had the upper hand. All the while, Mary Beth stood behind her, stone-faced.

Finally, Lisa spoke.

“Fair? Not the way I see it. I have the money, and you
don’t
have the money. But you need twenty thou. For all I know, I’m going to be dropping big bills and getting no return. And if something goes wrong, how are you going to pay me back?”

“Why do you think something will go wrong?”

“Lambert!” Lisa’s laugh had a hard edge. “I
know
you. I’m willing to loan you what you need, but I have my terms: one-third.” She took another drag off her cigarette, giving them a few seconds to think it over. “I have to be firm about that.”

Grant leaned forward in the chair. “But—”

“Now, if you have another banker…”

He leaned back again.

“Didn’t think so.”

Chase, slightly less disapproving of Lisa’s cut than Grant, asked, “And you can find us a rental, too?”

“Where in Virginia?”

“Place called Nash Bog. Up near the Maryland border, ’bout an hour outside Washington.”

“So it’s a DC commuter community. You said a house, right?” Chase nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure I can find you a furnished home. Professionals are always renting out their places when they’re sent on long-term assignments. How big?”

“I don’t think it needs to be too big,” said Chase. “We just need enough room for Grant and me. Oh, and Paul Farraday.”

Lisa cocked an eyebrow. “That drunk is in on this job, too?”

“Yeah,” Grant confirmed.

“What’s
his
take?”

“Less than yours.” Grant winced at the knowledge that a third of the loot was gone before he’d even seen or touched it. “But he brought us the job. See, his cousin got fired from the church for being gay, and this is the cousin’s way of getting revenge.”

Lisa asked, “And how much is this cousin getting?”

“Also less than you.”

“Okay, then.” Lisa stood, announcing the end of the meeting. “I’ll advance you twenty thousand dollars and arrange for a furnished house for a month in Nash Bog. I can probably have my end of the bargain wrapped up by late tomorrow afternoon. And when the job is over…”

“You get one-third,” said Grant. “Not bad for a few hours’ work.”

“Right.” She smiled. “And Lambert?”

“Huh?”

“Let’s both hope Farraday’s cousin is right, and the safe isn’t full of old newspapers.”

“I hear you.”

“Because if it is…”

“I hear you.”

“…you’re going to be pulling a lot of heists over the next few years to pay me back.”

“I hear you.”

“Every penny,” added Mary Beth. She was Lisa’s punctuation mark.

$ $ $

As soon as the door closed behind the departing Grant and Chase, Mary Beth turned to Lisa and said, “I
cannot
believe you’re lending those losers twenty thousand dollars.”

Lisa latched the door and threw the deadbolt, hoping Grant and Chase were still close enough to hear the finality. Then she walked the few steps back to the living room and said, “For one-third of the haul. I think it was a good deal.”

“Don’t tell me you bought that bullshit. Seven million dollars in a safe? No way.”

“No,
that
I don’t believe.” Lisa sat, finally reclaiming her favorite chair. “Maybe
they
believe that; I don’t. But even Grant Lambert can pull off a job bringing in more than twenty-k, and the first thing he’ll have to do is pay me back. Then, for every dollar they steal over twenty, I get another thirty-three cents.”

Mary Beth slumped back into the couch, a frown on her face. “Thirty-three cents have never sounded so pathetic.”

Lisa offered her a smile that danced on the border between patronizing and indulgent. “Maybe we’ll be really lucky and Lambert and Chase will steal twenty thousand and
three
dollars! Then you can have an entire dollar all to yourself!”

A throw pillow glanced off the side of Lisa’s head.

$ $ $

A half hour later, Lisa poured a glass of wine and retired to the second bedroom, which she’d converted to a home office. It was a great tax write-off that made the apartment even more affordable, and better yet, was the only room Mary Beth mostly ignored.

She logged onto her computer and typed
Nash Bog VA
into a search engine, intending to get a quick overview of the Nash Bog housing market. But the second search result stopped her cold.

“The Virginia Cathedral of Love?!”

From the living room, Mary Beth called back, “Did you say something?”

Maybe her voice had been a little too loud, but still, this was something Mary Beth should know. “Come here.”

Mary Beth, now wrapped in a pink robe and matching—also very expensive—slippers, shuffled into the room and looked over her partner’s shoulder. Lisa clicked on a link and the screen filled with the image of a large building, sunlight illuminating huge stained-glass windows. Above it, a cross towered in a cloudless blue sky.

“What’s that?” asked Mary Beth. “Lambert’s church?”

Lisa stared at the screen. “Not just any church. That’s the Virginia Cathedral of Love.”

“I think I’ve heard of it.” Mary Beth squinted and moved closer…close enough for Lisa to feel her warm breath, which made her heart race a bit.

Still, she kept her composure. What she was looking at was even more exciting than Mary Beth.

“I think
everyone’s
heard of it. Everyone except maybe Chase and Lambert. It’s one of the largest churches in the United States.” She swiveled in her chair and looked up at Mary Beth. “Have you ever heard of Dr. Oscar Hurley?”

“He’s the guy who blamed the California wildfires on God’s anger because Ellen and Portia got married, right?” Lisa nodded. “Yeah, I’ve heard of that whack job.”

Lisa looked back at the monitor. “Well, if I’m correct, Lambert and Chase are going to try to steal seven million dollars from him.”

Mary Beth scowled and backed away. “That sounds like it’s way out of Lambert’s league.”

“It is. It
definitely
is.” Lisa focused on the image of the Great Cross towering over the cathedral. “But it also means that the seven million dollars he was talking about, well… Maybe it’s not so far-fetched.” She glanced at the digital time displayed at the corner of the monitor. “I wonder if they’re home yet.”

Lisa picked up the phone and dialed; the call went straight to voicemail. That pattern repeated itself every five minutes for the next half hour while Mary Beth returned to the living room and Lifetime TV until, finally, Chase answered his cell phone.

“Hey, Lisa, what’s—?”

She wasn’t interested in small talk and—to make sure Chase was aware of that—threw all the hoarseness she could muster into her voice. “Are the two of you out of your fucking minds?”

“And nice talking to you, too.”

“Put Lambert on the phone.”

“You know he doesn’t like to—”

“Yes, I know he doesn’t like to talk on the phone. He’ll just have to buck it up.”

She heard muffled conversation, then Grant Lambert’s voice.

“’lo?”

She got right to the point. “Lambert, are you seriously thinking of ripping off the Virginia Cathedral of Love?”

He was silent for a long time—so long she almost thought he’d hung up—until he finally said, “Who told you?”

“No one had to tell me. I’m not an idiot, you know.”

Again he was silent.

“Lambert?”

She heard him sigh. “That’s the plan.”

“You realize it’s a big church, right? It’s not like robbing Dunkin’ Donuts.”

“Yeah, I know what’s what.”

“And you think you can do this by yourself?”

“I’ve got Chase. And Farraday.” He paused. “And Farraday’s cousin…”

Lisa had thought it, but wasn’t quite sure she was going to say it until the words burst out. “
And
me and Mary Beth.”

His answer was more silence.

“Lambert?” she finally growled. “You still there?”

“Yeah,” a little voice replied.

“Good.” She realized she was feeling a bit nervous and light-headed and swallowed hard to compose herself, but
damn it,
she was getting excited. “I’m not saying I don’t trust you, but…I don’t trust you.” He started to object. “Listen, no offense, but you, Chase, and Farraday…”

“
And
Farraday’s cousin,” he reminded her.

“And Farraday’s cousin. You can’t do this job by yourselves. This is the
Virginia Cathedral of Love
we’re talking about! Either Mary Beth and I are in on the job, or you can kiss my twenty thousand good-bye.”

“But, Lisa…”

“Let me make this a little easier for you.” She tried to take some of the edge out of her voice; to be soothing, not confrontational. “There’s no decision for you to make. We’re on the job. And look, it’ll be fun!”

He didn’t think he’d heard her correctly. “Fun?”

She remembered that, to him, this was work, not play, and adjusted accordingly. “Not
fun
fun.
Camaraderie
fun.”

“Well…”

“Also, I have to insist.”

There was another long pause, until he finally said, “I guess I’ve got no choice.”

“No, you really don’t.” The tough edge was back in her voice, and now she didn’t particularly care if she sounded confrontational. It was
her
twenty thou, damn it!