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Chapter Thirty-Two

Josh

I ended up pulling into a truck stop and snatching a few hours’ sleep before lumbering on. I staggered in Clark’s door sometime mid-morning, dumped my keys on the bar, and slumped onto a stool.

Duke started barking, his claws clicking on the wood floor as he bounded from the back room. He jumped up, his front paws landing on my knee as he tried to welcome me home. His tail wagged like crazy, and I scratched his ears before pushing him off me.

Uncle Amos appeared from the kitchen, drying his hands on a towel. His hopeful expression was dashed by my gloomy, resigned smile.

“What happened?”

I shook my head.

Duke whimpered and settled at my feet. His weight against my legs was a small comfort, reminding me that even though I’d returned alone, I was where I was meant to be.

Without a word, my uncle moved behind the bar and poured me a shot. I downed it in one fluid motion, slapping it onto the bar with a grimace. He poured me another. I spun the glass between my fingers, not quite ready for the second burn.

“She must have had her reasons, son.”

I shrugged.

“What’d she say?”

“She told me Payton wasn’t home.” I cleared my throat. “She told me to go.”

“Did she look happy?”

I kept my gaze on the glass of bourbon, biting my lips together and shrugging again.

“She didn’t want to come with me,” I grumbled before touching the glass to my lips and gulping back the liquid.

Uncle Amos knew better than to push me. I glanced up at his concern then had to turn away from it. He understood loss, but this was different. This was plain old rejection, and it stripped me bare, stealing my words.

With a sigh, he took my glass and replaced it with a beer.

And that was how I spent the rest of my day—sitting at that bar, nursing my beer, and not saying a word.

Brock showed up at lunchtime. He moved me to a table, and Uncle Amos slapped a beer and burger in front of both of us then left us to it.

My best friend was wise enough to keep his mouth shut. He’d never one hundred percent trusted Rachel, but he’d backed off when he’d seen how much I wanted her. She’d done everything to prove him wrong…until she’d left me and turned herself into a showgirl whore.

I closed my eyes, trying to ward off the bile burning in the pit of my stomach. The image of her in that black excuse for a dress was stark and devastating.

The silence, which had been a comfort up to that point, was trying to suffocate me. I lurched out of my chair and over to the jukebox. It was a stupid thing to do, but I picked a mournful song that said everything my mouth couldn’t.

I walked back to my seat, the soft sound of “Goodbye In Her Eyes” following me. Plonking my butt into a chair, I ran my thumb over the condensation on my glass before lifting it to my lips.

Brock smiled sadly beside me—I saw it out of the corner of my eye. Looking at him was impossible.

He’d seen me like this before. He knew what to do—keep his damn mouth shut and let me wallow. He’d kick my butt in a few days and pull me out of my stupor, but until then, woebegone music and wordlessness would reign.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Rachel

I took my time in the shower, crying as the hot water hit my wounds. I patted myself dry, hissing and wincing as I discovered fresh bruises. My naked body was a beat-up wreck. I wiped the steam from the mirror and made myself look. My back was peppered with bruises from hitting the floor and smacking into the sofa in Aren’s office. I had finger-shaped bruises on my upper arm, and my legs were scraped and cut from my dash for freedom. I cringed and leaned toward the glass so I could get a good look at my face. It was an ugly business.

My lip was cracked and swollen, and my cheekbone had puffed up like a marshmallow that someone decorated with black-and-blue permanent marker. The swelling bruise was pushing at my eye, making it a little hard to see. I pressed at the puffy tissue and whimpered, tears glistening in my eyes. If Josh could see me, he’d go feral…and then once all the fight had died out of him, whether he hated me or not, he’d cradle me in his arms and tell me I was safe.

I sucked in a shaky breath, my chin trembling as I fought a fresh wave of tears.

A knock at the door made me flinch.

“It’s just me,” Jody said. “I’ve got some clothes for you.”

I wrapped the towel around myself and eased the door open. Her smile was the first thing I saw, and it settled my insides a little.

“I’ve got the first-aid kit out, so just come through to the kitchen when you’re ready. Oh, and if there’s anything you need, like maybe a comb and a toothbrush? I’ll get Leo to pick it up on his way home.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” I croaked.

Her smile was soft as she held out a pile of folded clothes. “Because I know what it feels like when your entire world falls apart and you can’t see a way out.”

I frowned. Her? With her perfect husband and daughter? How could that be possible?

“Get dressed and I’ll tell you my story, then you can tell me yours.” She winked.

My smile was crooked and tentative as I closed the door and shimmied into a pair of sweats and a loose T-shirt. It felt good to be dressed in something so comfortable.

Shuffling out to the kitchen, I followed Jody’s directions and sat on the stool next to the counter. Her fingers were gentle as she examined my face, rubbing antiseptic cream onto my wounds.

“So, what’s your story then?” I flinched when she touched my swollen cheekbone.

“Sorry.” She winced. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?”

“I’m sure.”

She sighed, obviously seeing she couldn’t budge me. Reaching for my ankle, she lifted my leg and placed it on the opposite stool before rolling up my pant leg and tending to the gash on my shin. I tried not to jerk and squirm, but it hurt real bad and my foot was twitching in spite of my efforts.

Jody glanced at me and was then nice enough to distract me with her story. “I was nineteen when I left home to chase my dreams. I was going to become a Broadway star, but…” She sighed, pulling a wide bandage from the box. Her lips pursed to the side while she flipped it over and peeled off the back. “I got pregnant. The guy was my college professor and didn’t want to know. I was kicked out of school and came home very shame-faced. My father could barely acknowledge me. It was awful.” She leaned over my leg, her brow furrowing as she gently laid the bandage on my skin.

“So, Leo isn’t your daughter’s father?”

“He is in every way that’s important.” Jody smiled. “He came into my life at just the right time and was everything I needed.”

“You’re lucky.”

She pressed down on the bandage, securing it over my wound, and then stood tall to look at me. “I know…and I try to remind myself of that every day.”

Collecting up the first-aid debris, she scrunched it in her hands and threw it away before lowering my leg and nestling into the stool beside mine.

“Do you have any other wounds I should know about?” Her blue gaze searched my face.

I looked away from it, dipping my head. “Just some bruises on my back.”

“He didn’t, ah…he just beat you up, right? You weren’t…”

“No, just a beatin’.” Thank God! I sighed. “It was a damn thorough one, but I don’t feel like I’ve got broken ribs or anything.”

“Okay.” Jody patted my knee. “So, how about your broken heart then?”

Tears glassed over my eyes as I looked up at her, my entire body trembling as a sob shot out of my mouth. I covered the sound with a shaking hand and bent over. “Oh, Jody, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Another sob hiccupped out of me. Jody laid her hand on my back and gave it a soft rub.

“It’s okay. I’m going to help you in any way that I can.”

Jumping up, she rushed over to the living room and brought me a box of tissues. I pulled one free and dabbed at my face. “Thank you.”

Gathering up my right hand, she gave it a gentle squeeze and rubbed her thumb over my knuckles. “So, tell me. Why is your life falling apart?”

I sucked in a quaking breath. It punched back out of my chest and I started talking. I blubbered out my story—every dirty, grimy detail until I felt stripped bare and hollow on the inside.

She didn’t say much, just prompted me with questions at the right time. Her scowl grew deep when I told her about the contract and what Aren was expecting me to do, and then at the end she made it all better by pulling me into a delicate hug and whispering, “Shhhh, it’s okay. Everything’s going to work out.”

I didn’t believe her, but it was nice being held just the same. The way she stroked the back of my curls made me think of Mama.

*****

“Surely, he can’t get away with that! There’s got to be something we can do.”

Jody’s voice stirred me from my sleep. She’d put me down to rest in her bed after my confession had drained me. I’d fallen into a fitful doze only to be woken a few hours later by voices in the kitchen.

“Does she have a copy of the contract?” The accent told me Leo was home.

“No, you saw her. She barely had clothes on!”

“Yeah, yeah, I saw her.” I couldn’t figure out if he was disgusted or sad. I strained to hear more.

“Bobby’s bound to have a lawyer. Surely he can help her. That contract has to be a crock, right?”

“It sounds pretty dodgy to me, yeah. I can’t believe she signed it.”

“She’s eighteen. She was following her dream. You think you’re invincible, and then you realize that people are full of shit!” Jody’s riled voice had a breathy chuckle spurting out of my nose. Oh yeah, she knew.

I didn’t hear Leo’s reply. I was distracted by a pair of wide baby blues staring at me through the crack in the door.

“Hello, sweetness,” I softly drawled.

Her eyes danced with a grin before she swung the door open and toddled inside.

“Boo boo.” Her chubby finger pointed at my mangled face.

“It’s getting better already. Your mama fixed me up real good.”

“Mama.” She said the word with a grin, her round cheeks looking way too cute and kissable.

I ran my finger down her cheek and she giggled.

“Angel,” Jody whispered from the door. “I told you Miss Rachel was sleeping.”

“That’s okay.” I eased off the bed, swallowing down my groan. “I was just getting up.”

“Well, don’t rush, but there’s food and drink here if you’d like something.”

“Thank you,” I murmured.

Jody moved to the bed and helped me stand. I clutched her shoulder, letting the pain run through my stiff body before finding my breath again. Shuffling out of the room, I tried not to trip over Angel as she tottered around my feet like an excited puppy.

“C’mere, you.” Jody snatched her up and placed her on her hip, giving her neck a raspberry.

The little girl giggled sweetly. Angel was the perfect name for that child.

Leo walked through the front door as I eased onto a stool. His smile softened when he saw me.

“G’day.” He nodded. “How you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been run over by a combine harvester.”

He chuckled, his face crumpling with a sympathetic smile. His flip-flops squeaked on the wooden floor as he approached me. “So, I’ve just spoken to a mate of mine, and he’s going to contact his lawyer, see if we can’t get you out of this contract.”

My eyes rounded. “But I don’t have money for a lawyer. If I did, I would have tried to get out of this weeks ago.”

“Don’t worry about the money.” Jody flicked her hand in the air. “We just need to get you safe, and we can figure out the rest later.”

“But I…”

“Jody’s right.” Leo stepped up to his wife and laid a hand on her lower back. “Don’t worry about it. We’re here to help you.”

“Why?”

He just grinned at me, shaking his head before snatching a turkey sandwich off the plate and taking a mammoth bite. Angel giggled at her daddy’s funny faces while Jody rolled her eyes. She was fighting a smile, though, and lost the battle pretty quick, her halfhearted reprimand landing on deaf ears.

I watched the exchange, the way her expression heated with color as her gaze locked with Leo’s. They had that thing. The one Josh and I used to have. That silent bond…the one I’d severed.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Rachel

Five days passed, and I could finally walk without wincing. Jody and Leo had set me up in their apartment across the hall. It was actually a music studio, but there was a bed in the spare room. I spent most of my time in there, catching up on sleep and letting myself heal. I didn’t feel too isolated and alone, though. Leo would often be at the piano playing, and there were singers coming in and out, auditioning for some kind of musical.

Leo was a composer and Jody could sing. Lord Almighty, that woman had a voice. It was the perfect place for me to heal…surrounded by love and music. It was the kind of home I always wanted.

I nibbled the edge of my lip as I walked to Leo’s car then slid into the passenger’s seat.

“It’s going to be okay,” he repeated for the hundredth time that morning.

He was trying to soothe me every time he said it, but it never helped my nerves. We were heading to my apartment in downtown LA to collect my stuff. Leo’s friend Bobby got my key when he visited Club Liberation the day before. He went with his lawyer friend who demanded to see my contract. Apparently, Aren tried to fight him on it, but after a few well-worded threats, according to Leo, the guy jumped-to, rushing to comply with their demands. The lawyer had entered into negotiations with Aren, trying to terminate my contract. Thankfully, it was full of holes and Leo was confident the matter would be resolved quickly.

“Aren will want to keep this under wraps. If this goes public, he’s toast,” Bobby had assured me.

“But what about the other girls?”

“Let’s set you free first, and then we can give the other girls the information they need to help themselves.”

“Thanks, Bobby.” He’d patted my back, real gentle-like, and then handed me the key to my apartment.

I fidgeted the whole drive there, panic and relief taking turns inside my stomach. It was a fierce battle, a foreboding dread raining over both sides. When Leo followed my pointing finger and pulled to a stop against the curb, I thought I might pass out.

Leo reached for my hand and gave it a little squeeze. “Hey, you’re safe. He’s not going to hurt you again.”

I nodded, unbuckling my belt and following Leo across the road. I led him up the dingy stairwell and down to my door. My fingers were shaking so bad Leo had to take over and unlock the door for me. I walked into an overturned room that broke my heart. The apartment had been ransacked, Aren’s spiteful punishment no doubt.

“Those bloody wankers!” Leo looked around the mess, stepping over piles of torn clothing and pulling a bag out from under the bed. I didn’t care about the clothes…or the shoes…or the makeup strewn and smeared across the room.

All I could see was Mama’s guitar, snapped and broken on the living room floor.

Dropping to my knees, I collected it into my arms. The strings only just held the damaged instrument together. Wrapping my fingers around the neck, I leaned it against my forehead and cried. It was my last connection to a woman I’d adored, the woman who’d told me there was more to life than serving my ungrateful father.

I cried like a baby, tears trickling down my injured face as I cradled that thing and mourned the loss of my mama and the pitiful wreck I’d let myself become.

After I don’t know how long, Leo gently coaxed me off the floor, letting me bring my snapped guitar with me. I didn’t want much else, just my bag and the few belongings I’d originally brought with me.

I left the key on the table and walked out of the room, never looking back. Leo placed my guitar in the backseat and buckled me in before running around to his side of the car.

Once we were safely on our way, I laid my head back on the seat, my curls piled high on one shoulder.

“How long have you been playing?”

I closed my eyes. “Mama gave me that guitar for my eleventh birthday. It’s been the most precious thing I’ve ever owned.”

“It can be replaced.”

I glanced in the backseat and shook my head. “No, it can’t.”

Leo pressed his lips together, letting me have my self-pity, but not for long. “You don’t need her guitar to feel connected to her. Every time you play and sing, she’s near. Your talent…I assume that came from her.”

Blinking at the sting in my eyes, I licked my bottom lip and nodded. It did and I liked his thinking.

“I wish I hadn’t failed her,” I murmured.

“Who said you did?”

“Oh, come on.” I looked at him in disbelief. “Quit being so nice to me. I was an idiot to sign that contract! I left the best thing that has ever happened to me to come out here and make something of myself, and I screwed it up. I settled for the easy option, and it turned to total shit.”

“I’m not saying you didn’t make a mistake, but what did your mother really want for you?”

I gazed out the window, watching a large white cloud amble across the blue sky. “She wanted me to sing. She thought I was so good the world deserved to hear my voice. She wanted me to make something of myself.”

“Who says you weren’t something before?”

I frowned, forced to look at him after that weird question.

He gave me a wry grin. “I used to want the big lights, a grand stage, and important people telling me how brilliant I was. I was so focused on achieving that, I nearly missed out on where I was meant to be. Life is full of shitty circumstances that you can’t avoid. You just have to go with it. And you know what always surprises me?”

I shook my head.

“The most amazing, beautiful things often come out of those totally shit-arse moments. It’s like a light finally flicks on in your brain, and you see the world differently. You realize what you really needed all along, and it makes you appreciate what’s important. Suddenly, you don’t give a rat’s arse about what anyone else thinks, because you know in here,” he pointed at his chest, “that you’re doing what’s right for you.”

“I’ve been chasing Mama’s dreams for me since the day she died. I’d never wanted to settle until I’d made her proud…until I’d become a success.”

“What does success really mean?” Leo ran a finger across his lower lip while keeping his eyes on the traffic.

It was a stupid question, so I didn’t bother answering. Everyone knew what success meant…and I was so far from reaching it, it was a joke.

He glanced at my frown, a half-smile tugging on his lips.

“Because to me, success is living a life that I love,
being
with someone that I love. Money and fame are worthless. They can be there one day and gone the next, but love—that’s there through thick and thin, and that’s the only thing you should really be fighting for. Being happy with what you have…that’s success.”

My heart stopped beating for a second, my dry mouth taking a minute to find its voice. “I’ve never heard anyone talk that way before.”

He shrugged, throwing me a rueful smile. “Believe me, it took me a long time to figure that one out.”

“All I ever wanted to do was make Mama proud. I thought being rich and famous would do that.”

“Look, I didn’t know your mum, Rachel, but I’m sure she was proud.”

I scoffed. “I doubt she’d be proud of my recent choices.”

“She’d be proud you’re getting out of it. Now that I’m a parent, I know that feeling of just wanting your kids to be happy. That’s all you want, really. If you’re happy, she’s happy.”

“I ain’t happy yet.”

“You’ll get there. You just need to figure out what makes you shine…and follow that dream.” He snapped his fingers and pointed at me. “I’ve got a song for this moment.”

I didn’t know what he meant by that, but kept my mouth shut as he pulled out his phone and plugged it in. He waited until we were stopped at the lights before he found the song and pressed play, grinning at me like an excited schoolboy.

I’d never heard it before, but I liked the sound.

“What song is this?”

“‘Permission to Shine’ by Bachelor Girl.”

Closing my eyes, I let the words seep into me, enjoying the soft, hopeful melody. I wasn’t sure if the song fit me perfectly, but I liked the idea of shining…and shining
my
way, not half-naked on a stage but holding my guitar and strumming out a song to people I cared about.

My eyes popped open, that lightbulb coming on so bright it was blinding.

I’d had that.

I’d had my stage, my love…a life I wanted.

According to Leo—success.

If only I’d realized at the time that it was enough.