Home for Love (An Adult Contemporary Romance) (11 page)

Bree heard his voice, but still numb,
didn’t respond. She didn’t need to speak to him now, she needed time to think.
Operating on auto-pilot, she managed to scoop the mixture off the floor and
into the pan, and then dumped it next to the sink so she could run the burnt
area on her arm under cold water.

“Bree?” Todd’s voice broke through her
reflections, startling her. Jumping in surprise, Bree knocked the pan to the
ground and the ingredients spilled onto the floor again. She was going to dump
them into the bin anyway, but the twice-spilled ingredients, a twice-made
mistake, hit her hard. Sinking to the ground next to it, she sank down next to
it, bursting into tears.

“What’s wrong honey?” Todd asked,
kneeling in front of her.

“We had sex, Todd,” she bawled.

“I think we’ve ascertained that, Bree,”
Todd replied indulgently.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” she
gasped in between sobs.

“What is it, Bree?” Todd inquired more
firmly. The last time he’d seen her was a few hours ago and she’d seemed
content. Now, he walks down to the kitchen to find her in pieces.

“We had sex,” she reiterated.

“And?” he probed.

“And sex leads to complications and
that’s not something I was looking for?”

“Wait a minute,” he said. “What
complications? I’m not sure I’m on the same page with you.”

“Complications that lead to the kind of
life I was hoping to not have here in Devil’s Peak. The kind of life that gets
someone hurt. Amber,” she blurted out. “Amber can’t get hurt by this.”

“Why would Amber get hurt by this?” he
asked, confusion having replaced his own contentment.

“If we have a relationship and we break
up, she’ll be shattered,” Bree explained. “We can’t do that to her.”

“What do you mean, ‘if we have a
relationship’? We are in a relationship. Not only are we her parents but we
just made love - a number of times.” Suddenly weary, Todd’s voice held steel.

“We had sex, Todd,’ Bree corrected.
“Something only we know about. Let’s keep it that way and not do it again.”

For the second time since her return to
Devil’s Peak, Todd felt sucker-punched. Reeling from the shock due to the
unexpected turn of events, he sat back and looked at her. She was a mess,
shaking and sobbing as though her heart were breaking. “What’s changed in the
three hours since we made love to now?”

“Everything,” Bree responded, unable to
find the words to explain the many emotions flitting through her. With regret
she realized that she’d found the man, she loved again and had to end it - for
the sake of her daughter and herself.

“That’s cold, Bree,” Todd replied. “I
realize that what we do can’t impact Amber’s happiness and I realize that she
needs a stable home with both parents.” He sighed in frustration, dragging his
hands through his hair. Taking a breath, he confessed, “I planned to ask you to
marry me. I can see a future with you and Amber here, in this house.”

“So you want to marry me to have a whole
and happy family,” Bree caught on.

Todd flinched, confirming her
suspicions. Infuriated, Bree bit out, “You sit there and admonish me for being
concerned about the complications of sex when you used me, used sex for your own
personal gain. You thought that if I slept with you, I’d marry you, didn’t
you?”

“It’s not what you think,” he
interjected.

“No?” she cocked a brow at him. “Then
what is it?” When he remained silent, she continued, “Do you love me Todd?”

“Of course, I love you,” he responded.
“We’ve known each other since we were kids. Except for the past seven years,
you’ve always been a part of my life. And now, you’re the mother of my child.
That I love you is a given.”

“That’s not what I asked,” Bree shook
her head. “I asked if you loved me - me being Bree not me the mother of your
child.”

“Hell,” Todd cursed. “I just answered
the question.” Todd had a bad feeling about where this was going, but just
didn’t get what she was going on about.

“No you didn’t,” Bree argued. “You said
that you love me as a friend and as the mother of your child. I get that. I
appreciate that. But, you didn’t say that you love me for me. You love me as
Bree regardless of everything that’s happened in our past and present. I saw
the crappy relationship my parents had - cold, distant familiarity bonded
together by their warped sense of morality. That’s what you’re offering. We
need to get married because we have a child and it’s expected. That living
together without love is okay because we’re raising Amber together.” Bree was
panting from emotional frustration, shouting the words out at him. “Well, I
want more than that. I deserve more than that. I want a man to love me, accept
me, and cherish me - for me! A man who searches the room for me when he enters
it, who feels the loss of my company when I’m not around - I need a man who
cannot bear the thought of not having me in his life. Are you that man, Todd?”

He stared at her wordlessly. Bree waited
a moment, and then got up. “That answers my question. I’m going to shower, and
then I’d appreciate it if you took me home.”

He watched her get up and walk out of
the kitchen. Rage replaced the shock and he roared, “That’s fine. Walk away.
Run away from the situation instead of facing it like an adult. Do what you did
when you were pregnant with Amber. It’s easier for you to be a coward.”

“I’m not a coward,” she turned back and
yelled. “I’m not the one who left me. You did. You did it first. I was
pregnant, hopeful that you’d come back from wherever and whatever it was that
you were doing. That you’d come back and hold me, tell me things were going to
be okay and that we’d get through it, but you didn’t. I waited for you, Todd. I
waited and hoped and you didn’t come back. You’re the coward.”

“I didn’t leave you,” he argued. “You
knew where I was going and what I was doing. For Pete’s sake, I had just lost
my father and gained the responsibility of looking after my siblings -
financially and emotionally. I needed to make a plan and I was doing that while
I was away. I wasn’t doing drugs, living up life with whores on the dock. I
wasn’t doing anything but work, to save money to put food in my brother and
sister’s mouths!” He glared at her, angry that she’d judge him, hurt that she’d
demand with so little empathy and understanding. “You’re the one who left
without saying a word. The first place I went to when I got back was the
farmhouse. Did you know that?” At her flinch, he nodded. “I didn’t think so. I
came to you before I even said hello to my own brother and sister who I also
hadn’t seen for months. But, I didn’t find you because you’d run away from
facing me. I hadn’t heard from you in years, not months - years,” he repeated.
“Then you walk back into my life, turn it upside down and just when I think
we’ve worked things out, you want to walk out again.”

“We didn’t work a thing out,” Bree
countered. “We had sex, Todd, that’s all. Hot sex but it was just sex
nonetheless. That does not mean we’re in a relationship. It does not mean that
we’ve overcome our differences and it does not mean that I’ll marry you so that
you can fulfill your childhood fantasy of being part of a big, happy family.”

Todd looked at her as though she’d
slapped him. “You’re right,” he agreed in a cold voice. “There’s nothing for us
to talk about. Go,” he pointed to the staircase, “go have your shower, and then
I’ll take you home. Running away seems to suit you better than I do.”

Bree sat by the lake, watching the
activity around her. It was the first Sunday of summer and the place was
teaming with people. Mothers sat on large, colorful picnic blankets, guarding
the food against bugs and other critters nature had to offer. Ready to hand out
sustenance to little fingers that needed it in between play. Fathers taught their
children how to play catch, fly a kite, or swim in the expansive blue waters.
The hollers, squeals, and laughter of children mingled lyrically with the sound
of birdsong as nature had intended it to be.

Amber was playing with friends from
school that she’d bumped into when they had arrived. Bree had diplomatically
declined the invitations from the parents to sit with them, saying that she
wanted to sit back and watch. That she needed the time to process the delights
of her first summer back in Alaska. She knew that neither the words nor how she
looked were convincing, but they would have to do. The last thing she felt like
was being sociable.

Ever since the big argument with Todd,
she’d felt lethargic and solitary, feelings reinforced by a deeper ache that
seemed to permanently reside in her chest. If they’d truly loved each other, if
they’d been a couple, she would’ve thought that her heart was breaking. But,
her heart had already been broken once, when she’d fled Devil’s Peak - pregnant
and in disgrace, with no hope of seeing her lover again. She’d broken down and
cried then; felt the pain of her heart ripping into pieces as the cold, harsh
reality of teenage love gone wrong, sank in.

This feeling was different, less
dramatic, but just as painful. It was the realization that she’d been
disillusioned too often, that she’d allowed herself to fall to often and that
she’d failed herself. She knew she needed to do something about it. She
couldn’t carry on the way she was - it wasn’t fair to her grandparents or to
Amber. She’d caught her grandparents sneaking worried looks at her and each
other. When she did, she responded with cheerfulness, knowing that it came
across as brittle and wouldn’t alleviate their concern. Her feelings of
self-defeat remained, like a heavy chain hanging around her neck, pulling her
forward and down. She knew all of that, but she didn’t know how to overcome
it.  

She didn’t regret moving back to Alaska.
It helped having her grandparents around and being part of a family again. Her grandparents
seemed to thrive with the extra life in the farmhouse, having Amber and her to
coddle and fret over. It was as though their energy was renewed. Amber, too,
thrived here, having adapted to the extremes of Alaskan living naturally as
though she’d been genetically made for it. Amber was doing well in school, had
made new friends, loved the outdoor activities Alaska had to offer and mostly
loved that she’d gone from being part of a two person family to a more
extensive one with two grandparents and a father added.

As far as she went, there were a few
things going well in her own life. Her career at the school was progressing in
a positive direction. She’d worked hard and had earned the respect and trust of
her colleagues and the principal. When she’d enhanced the children’s aftercare
program with a range of scheduled extra-curricular activities that nurtured and
developed them creatively, physically, and mentally, the parents had begun to
rave about it and her colleagues commended her. She now felt secure in her
position at the school, no mean feat for a newly qualified teacher at her very
first job. Thinking of her professional achievements lightened her heart a bit
and Bree felt some of the ache dissipate.

“Hey Bree,” a masculine voice
interrupted her introspection.

Shielding her eyes against the sun with
her hand, she looked up and saw Jack from The Lodge. “Hi,” she returned the
greeting.

“Mind if I sit?” he asked, indicating
the spot on the blanket next to her.

She did mind, not really wanting the
company, but couldn’t say no without being rude, so she nodded her head
instead. “Sure,” she replied.

“I haven’t seen you again at The Lodge,”
he began the conversation. “I guess Todd’s been keeping you busy.”

“Oh, Todd and I are not an item,” she clarified.
“We had dinner at The Lodge because Amber, my daughter,” Bree waved an arm to
where Amber was playing, “was sick so she couldn’t go with her dad for the
daddy -daughter dinner he had planned. Instead of cancelling the reservation, I
filled in at the insistence of my grandmother and Amber of course.”

“As you weren’t a very willing
participant,” he said, looking at her, “I hope you enjoyed your dinner
nonetheless.”

“I wasn’t unwilling,” Bree clarified
again. At his skeptical look, she laughed, her fist real laugh since the fight
with Todd, “Oh, okay, I was unwilling. And yes, the dinner didn’t disappoint.
That’s an amazing place you have there. You should feel really proud of
yourself.”

“Thank you and yes, I am happy that I’ve
managed to keep it floating since most new businesses go under in the first two
years and this was such a new concept for this part of Alaska. But,” he waved
his hand towards the many tourists intermixed with the locals at the lake, “as
you can see, we’ve all embarked on a new journey in this town and it’s paying
off for all of us. Being local born and bred helped ease some of the
resistance. I got the feeling that they were impressed by the money I made when
I went to Silicone Valley and indulged my ‘mad scheme’ as they referred to it
behind my back. Then, when I employed locals to help with everything that I
could during the building phase, it chipped a bit off their block of
resistance. Opening the restaurant and training locals to run it, sending them
off for training in Paris, New York, and Anchorage helped some too. Bringing in
fresh blood in the form of the beauty salon with a view to up-skilling two
local girls had them nearly convinced. But, what convinced them was the
increase in tourists visiting the town because of the niche accommodation The
Lodge offers. It proved that I wouldn’t steal away the other accommodation
establishments’ customers.”

Bree watched him while he spoke. He was
passionate, it animated him, and from what she heard, although he was a shrewd
businessman, he’d kept the good of the community in mind. “I’m very impressed,”
she stated, warmly.

Jack actually blushed and waved the
compliment away. “Oh no, I didn’t say that to brag. My apologies, I get carried
away sometimes and forget that it bores people.”

“I didn’t find that boring at all,” she
smiled at him. “Being back after a while, you see the changes and make
assumptions about how they came about. It’s good to hear it explained.”

“I hear that you’re doing great work at
the school,” he said, eyes twinkling with appreciation of the conversation. “In
fact, I was wondering if I could pick your brain.”

“Oh?” she inquired, wondering what on
earth he was going on about.

“I have a mutually beneficial
proposition to put forward to the school, but I don’t want to go in blindly. It
would help to be able to bounce my ideas off of someone who understands the
school and the town. Would you be interested in helping?”

“That depends on what that help would
entail,” Bree answered, truthfully. “While Amber has settled down well, as a
mom, I’m weary of getting too busy.”

“For now,” he said, “it would just be
conversation. What do you say to brunch at The Lodge? I’ve got a meeting next
Saturday, but am completely free the Saturday thereafter. I could come pick you
up and we can have a meal and I can share my ideas with you - pick your brain?”

Bree had enjoyed their conversation. It
had taken her mind nearly off Todd - nearly, not entirely. Maybe she needed a
bit more of it. “Sure, that sounds great,” she accepted, lips curving. “But
don’t worry about picking me up - seems like a lot of trouble. I’ll just use
Granddad’s truck and meet you there.” After they finalized the details of the
meeting and said their goodbyes, she watched Jack walk off and she smiled to
herself. The brunch idea did sound great and she found that she was looking
forward to it.

xxx

While Bree was at the lake with Amber,
the meddling busybodies of Devil’s Creek were assembled at the Ramsay farmhouse
to discuss the current state of affairs between Bree and Todd and to agree on
the best approach they should take to resolve the situation. They called
themselves the Devil’s Peak Cares Association or DPC. They did a lot of good in
the community. One Saturday a month, they sold pancakes at the local country
market to fund their charity drives. They used the money to fund a number of
youth programs, to provide frail care assistance to the elderly and they ran a
bi-weekly soup kitchen. That was expected of them.

What wasn’t expected, but appreciated
was how they’d rallied in the past to raise funds for a local girl’s wedding
and given money and support to a family whose cancer-stricken young daughter
needed a bone marrow transplant. More controversially, they’d made Brick
Smith’s life a living hell and ran him out of town after they’d found out that
he was terrorizing his dear sweet wife and children. Though they’d vehemently
deny it, they gave financial assistance to the woman and her brood to this day.

It was for all of these good works, and
unselfish intentions that the town forgave them their meddling. For meddling,
was there biggest, collective talent. Romantics at heart, they also made it
their informal, though generally agreed upon mission, to bring together the
young and old in love and holy matrimony.

“The polar bear swimming contest went
well this year,” Moira shared, running her eyes over the figures neatly tabled
in the DPC’s ‘black book’. “We’ve raised enough money to continue for a few
months with the programs we have and have a little left over to get those giant
inflatables over from Fairbanks for the annual summer picnic.”

“Let’s not use the money for that,” Mr.
Stewart piped in. “As it is tourist season, let’s apply to some of the local
businesses to contribute towards getting it in, then we can bank the  money for
a rainy day - they always seem to creep up on us when we’re broke and have no
umbrellas.”

“You’re speaking like an outsider,”
Shelly chirped, drawing laughter from the others as she teased Mr. Stewart.
“Alaskans never mind the weather. We deal with it. But, you do make a valid
point. I could spring some cash from the boutique, use the opportunity for
promotion. We’ll probably have the inflatables for a while anyway as we’ll have
to fly them in. So, why don’t we put them up in the town square after the
annual picnic? That’ll draw the tourists into town and give moms and dads a
chance to shop and spend their money while the children play.”

“Good idea,” agreed Paula. “If that’s
the case, the grocery store could donate something too. We can round up some of
the kids from the youth program and get them to watch over and entertain the
little ones.”

“Okay,” interrupted Moira, “now that we
have the picnic and the inflatables sorted, let’s move onto Bree and Todd.” Her
eyes darted to the clock above the mantle-place. “It won’t be long before she
comes back.”

“I’m stumped,” Shelly said,
empathically. “We’ve pulled out all the stops for them and they don’t bite.”

Mrs. Stewart’s head bobbed vigorously in
agreement. “They’re a hard-headed couple, those two. In my day, you got
together, got married, and dealt with whatever came your way. Nowadays, women
want fairytales and men want superwoman. I don’t know what the youth are on
about.”

Paula patted Mrs. Stewart’s hand gently
in consolation. “Now, now dear, don’t upset yourself.” Then looking at the
other grim, flummoxed faces, she stated, “Sending Bree over with Todd’s coffee
had worked out so well. They’d ended up spending the whole day together and
were in good spirits with each other for quite some time.”

“In my day,” interjected Mrs. Stewart,
“the young people’s parents had a conversation, and married them. The older
generation knows what’s best for the young ones. Now, that they have this
freedom to choose, they keep buggering up.” The others nodded out of courtesy
and respect rather than agreement while Paula continued to pat Mrs. Stewart’s
hand.

“Do you remember Delilah and Rod?”
Shelly hurriedly changed the subject with a random question. “We got them
together quickly. We gave them an opportunity to get together alone, their lips
locked, and that was the end of it.”

“They locked more than their lips dear,”
Paula responded eliciting wicked grins and chuckles.

“My part went well too,” added Mr.
Stewart, bringing their attention back to the matter at hand. “Heck, I even
played sick for a whole day so they could get locked up in the shed and from
what mamma told me, they left the shed in a good way.”

“It seemed to have gone wrong with my
part,” Moira offered, taking off her spectacles and folding it on the black
book that sat on her lap, “forcing them to go to dinner together. It was just,
too good an opportunity to miss, but maybe the lack of planning was where it
went wrong. Since that night, they’ve been like icicles. You’d swear that we
were still in winter it’s so cold to be around them. And, what’s more, Amber’s
a pretty perceptive child; she’ll pick up on it eventually. The only thing
keeping it from affecting her is their dedication to her that’s making them put
on a brave face in front of her.”