Home Free (5 page)

But one day, my dad brought home a swing set for our backyard. It was bright red with two swings and a slide. And suddenly, Susan was allowed to play with me a lot more. At my house. Until I hit her. But it was an accident. She was so dippy that she stood right behind the swing. And I swung back and the metal seat hit her near her eye.

She fell over and screamed and I jumped off the swing and before I knew what to do, her grandmother was in our backyard. She picked up Susan and said I was a horrible child, and they got Susan off to the hospital right away. She was pretty much okay, but she had to wear a patch over her eye for a few days. I wasn't allowed to see her. When I went over to her house the next day, they sent me home and told me I couldn't play with Susan ever again. They said I wasn't suitable.

Susan and her mother and grandmother and daddy moved a few months later. My mother sniffed and said, “Good riddance.” Which reminds me. I didn't get sent to my room when I hit Susan by accident. Susan's parents came over and told my parents that I was an “
en-fun terreeebluh
” and what were they going to do about it? My mother got that wormy-apple-in-the-mouth look. She just looked at my father and said, “Earl?” and then she went inside our house. My father asked Susan's parents to get off our property and then he went inside. (I know because I just happened to be reading my book near the front window.)

And then the next day, my father went to the nursery. And the day after that, a big truck came and a huge cedar hedge went up.

Anyway, I sat in the tree branch that was the best for spying and as soon as I saw Mrs. Fergus at the sink doing the breakfast dishes, I went and called on Cassandra Jovanovich again. I had something to ask her.

“Do you have a best friend?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I'm never anywhere long enough.”

But I had already figured this out. I explained it to her. “I don't think you have to know somebody a long time to be best friends. I think sometimes you just know. I think it's like the princess who falls in love with the prince at first sight in fairy tales. I liked you right away and I think we should be best friends.”

Cassandra shoved her hair out of her face.

“Why? Why do you like me so much? You don't know anything about me. You like me because I'm an orphan and I have red hair like your stupid Anne Shirley.” Then she shoved her hair back over her eyes.

Well! This was not what I would put in a book if I were writing it. That's what I like about writing. Anything can happen just the way I want if I'm the writer. But in real life, people say things I don't like. Of course, I could have embellished this part, but I didn't. I could have embellished it so it was more like when Anne Shirley met Diana Barry. They spoke very fancy language, and said “Wilt thou be my bosom friend?” and “I love thee, o faithful friend of my heart,” and stuff like that. But maybe Cassandra Jovanovich will read this some day, and so I couldn't embellish.

So I said, “I want to like you. I wanted to like you as soon as I heard about you. I like reading about orphans. I couldn't believe I was going to get an orphan for a next-door neighbor.”

Then she went all red and yelled. “What is so special about being an orphan?”

So I yelled back. “Well I want to be an orphan, so there!” I couldn't believe I said it, and I clapped my hand over my mouth.

She got that look like she wanted to spit something out. Then she said, “Kathy was right. You are cuckoo.”

Kathy!

“You only like me because I'm an orphan? Well thanks a lot! And you want to be an orphan so we can start a stupid club or something?”

Then she jumped up and ran out of the room. I heard a door slam. I heard something being thrown.

Mrs. Fergus came running up from the basement. “What happened? What did you do, Lee?”

“Nothing. I didn't do noth … anything.”

Mrs. Fergus just glared at me. “Well something has upset Cassie. I think you'd better go home.”

So I went home.

I went straight to my bedroom and slammed my door. (Of course I only did this because I knew my mother was at the store. Otherwise I'd get in trouble. Little ladies don't slam doors.)

This wasn't fair. This wasn't the way it was all supposed to work out. Cassandra Jovanovich was supposed to be my best friend. I knew it in my bones.

I tried to read a book – I'm halfway through
Little House on the Prairie
and Pa just brought home a cow and was trying to milk her – but I couldn't concentrate. I know things are really bad when I can't concentrate on a book. So I went to the kitchen and made a peanut-butter-and-banana sandwich. And out of the kitchen window, I saw Cassandra
open her front door and let Kathy in. Kathy was wearing a John Lennon hat and go-go boots!

The peanut butter and banana stuck in my throat.

This was terrible. This was worse than terrible. This was a calamity. (A
calamity
is “a disaster accompanied by extensive evils.”) If Kathy and Cassandra became best friends, I would have to run away from home. I knew that in my bones, too. I couldn't stand to see them together every day.

So I got my book and sat in the kitchen where I could keep watch on Cassandra's house. I mean, I didn't want to see them every day, but I had to know what was going on. And sure enough, in about ten minutes, they came out and turned the way to Kathy's house.

Cassandra would see the beer mugs. She'd probably tell Kathy I had told her about them. They'd laugh at me and Kathy would tell her why I was stupid. Why we weren't friends anymore.

This book is going ALL the WRONG way! I don't want to write about you-know-who, and now she's ALL I'm writing about.

I forced myself to read. I forced myself to read for one whole hour.

And then, I saw her. Cassandra Jovanovich. She came marching down the street and up her steps and into her house and slammed the front door!

I ran out into the backyard and up onto my tree branch so I could see into the Fergus kitchen. And I could see Mrs. Fergus saying something to Cassandra and she had her hands on her hips and was pointing at the front door. Then I saw Cassandra stamp her foot and shake her head. Then Mrs. Fergus said something else (Why, oh why, wasn't their kitchen window open?!?) and finally I saw Cassandra turn and leave the kitchen. So I scrambled down the tree, ran across the yard and back inside my house. And from the kitchen I saw her open her front door and close it slowly and quietly. Then she sat down on the bottom step and scrunched herself up into a little ball.

She looked very sorrowful.

I wondered if I should go to her.

But maybe she'd yell at me again.

But maybe she had a fight with Kat… you-know-who.

Maybe I was just being nosy if I went over.

What would Anne Shirley do?

And then I knew. I knew I had to give it another try. This was just one more trial and tribulation for my soul to bear. I would live through it.

I didn't slam any doors or make any noise. I just tiptoed across the driveway and went and sat down beside her.

I was afraid to say anything.

But she said, “Why?”

I knew it! Kathy had told her everything!

“She told you?! Did she tell you what happened that day?”

She looked at me like I had two heads.

“What are you talking about? I want to know why you said you wanted to be an orphan.”

I wanted to tell her. I wanted tell her about all the book orphans who have wonderful adventures. Anne and Mary and Jane. But Cassandra didn't look like she was having a wonderful time just this minute.

But then it came to me. “If you're an orphan, you can be whoever you want to be. Nobody owns you.”

“Well, for sure nobody owns me,” Cassandra said. “So what?”

“So you can do what you want. Nobody tells you you're stupid or asks who you think you are or tells you you can't do something when you grow up.”

Cassandra put her head down and talked from behind her hair. “Oh what do you know? People tell me that stuff all the time.”

“But it doesn't mean anything. You don't have to listen.”

“Of course I do. I'm a kid.”

I didn't say anything. And Cassandra Jovanovich just sat there looking at her boots. Then she said, “But maybe you're right. I have to listen to them, I mean, I have to do what I'm told, but … I don't have to … accept what they say. It's like I do what they tell me to do, but on the inside … I don't care.”

I remembered all the times my mother said I couldn't be a writer. I started crying.

“What? What did I say? Why are you crying?”

And I just cried some more.

“Do your parents tell you you're stupid?” Cassandra asked.

I was shocked! My mother would never use the word stupid. Ladies don't.

“Because people tell me I'm stupid all the time. They
think just because my mother … just because … I'm not owned … that they can say any nasty mean spiteful thing that pops into their stupid heads.”

I pulled up my shirt and wiped my nose. “My mother says I'm silly when I talk about being a writer and she says I can't do some things and she says who do I think I am.” And then I pretended I was my mother.

“Sniff
. And just who do you think you are?
Sniff
” And I said it in a voice like I was sucking a lemon.

Cassandra laughed and said, “
Sniff sniff
. Who farted?”

I was shocked again! “My mother said ladies don't say fart. It's inappropriate.”

“Oh fart. Fart fart FART! So there!”

This time I laughed at the shock of it. And then I remembered something.

“Want to hear a joke? Debbie Walker's mom told me. There was a woman who had lots of children and one day she thought maybe she was having another baby. So she went to the doctor, but he said don't be silly, you're too old to have another baby. All you've got is a little gas, said the doctor. So the woman went home but a few weeks later she went back to the doctor and said maybe she was getting ready to have another baby. The doctor said the same thing. Don't be silly. You're too old to have another baby. It's just a little gas. And then one day the woman went into the
hospital and had twins! And then one day she was walking the twins in the baby buggy and she saw the doctor and he said what have we here? And she said oh nothing doctor. Just a couple of farts with bonnets on.”

Cassandra and I laughed until we both had to run inside to the bathroom.

“So you get the joke?” I asked.

“Well, yeah. The doctor didn't know she was pregnant.” I looked at the floor.

“What?” Cassandra asked.

“My mother says not to say
pregnant
. Ladies say
expecting
.”

Cassandra pushed her hair back and looked at me. “Do you know where babies come from?” she asked.

I know I blushed. “Of course. I mean … yes. I didn't before, but I do now. That's sort of what Kath …”

And when I was sitting on the toilet, Cassandra said, “Do you care what your mother says?”

“Well, yes … I mean …” I stopped talking and thought a bit. “Sometimes I just don't want to get in trouble. But sometimes I don't understand why she says what she says.”

“So you think it's easier if you're an orphan?”

“Well, you can just make up your own mind about things. If you want to be a doctor or a singer or a movie star you can do it.”

“What do you want to be?”

“I want to be a writer.” I got up from the toilet and Cassandra took her turn.

“So? Do your parents hide the paper and pens?” she asked.

“No. But …”

“But what? Tell you you're no good? So what? Do you have to listen to them?”

“If I say I want to be famous and special, they say I'm bragging. Why is it bragging?”

Cassandra didn't answer right away. She flushed the toilet and washed her hands, and then she said, “Maybe it's like the ugly duckling. You're really a swan and they don't know it and so they're trying real hard to keep you a duck like them.”

I suddenly felt all warm because Cassandra had done it. She had used a story to explain something, like when I said Kathy is my Josie Pye. So she
was
a book person! Even if she didn't know it. I was sure now. She was going to be my kindred spirit! So now I wanted to be very considerate.

“But you're not like me. You can be what you want. No one is trying to keep you a duck.”

“Yes, but how can I be an actress if I don't stay anywhere long enough to take drama lessons? I can't even be in a school play because I keep changing schools.”

Cassandra opened a bathroom drawer and we got out Mrs. Fergus's pinkberry meringue lipstick and put it on. Then Cassandra found the Maybelline eye pencil and we drew dark lines around our eyes and filled in our eyebrows and then we sprayed ourselves with Mrs. Fergus's perfume, Evening in Paris. I don't know what I looked like but Cassandra looked really good. She looked like a real actress.

I suddenly got an idea.

“Do you want to be an actress?”

“More than anything in the world.”

“I've written a play. It's about a prince and a princess who fall in love, but an evil witch separates them and then the flower fairy gets them together again. We can put it on in the backyard. We can sell tickets and everything.”

For the first time Cassandra looked happy. She pushed back her hair and smiled. I told her she could be the beautiful princess. I thought she'd like that.

But Cassandra Jovanovich said she wanted to be the evil witch.

We hurried over to my house and I got out my play. Cassandra read it and I tried to read it over her shoulder.