Homecoming (33 page)

‘Just out for the day.' Lily felt her cheeks burning. She hated lying but Helen would be furious with her if she let slip where she was going, or who she was going with.

‘That sounds very mysterious.'

Irritated with herself for arousing his curiosity, she answered, ‘Not at all. Spring is on the way and a couple of the girls fancied a drive in the country.'

‘And a break from cooking Sunday dinner for their long-suffering husbands.' Martin walked in wearing his dressing gown over pyjama trousers. ‘Have you made toast, Jack?' He winked at Lily.

‘No, but if that's your way of telling me that you'd like some, I'll make you a couple of pieces.'

‘Thanks.' Martin rested his hands on Lily's shoulders and kissed her. ‘Shouldn't you be on your way?'

‘Yes.' She glanced at her watch again. ‘I'm meeting the girls around the corner to save time. See you later.'

‘Here.' Martin followed her into the hall and helped her on with her coat. ‘Another kiss goodbye?'

‘No. You've had too many kisses before shaving as it is.'

‘You're a heartless wife, no kisses and leaving me to fend for myself all day.'

‘We'll have dinner tonight instead of at one o'clock.'

‘And a quiet night in, just the two of us in the living room. Good luck,' he whispered, as she ran from the house.

‘Your toast is ready,' Jack shouted from the kitchen.

‘Thank you, slave.'

‘I suppose you want me to pass you the butter and marmalade out of the fridge?'

‘Please, seeing as you're closer to it.' Martin sat at the table. ‘You off somewhere?'

‘Not particularly, why do you ask?'

‘You're dressed and it's before midday on a Sunday.'

‘I thought I might call round and see Katie, John and the baby. I haven't visited them since the party.'

‘Good idea.' Martin opened the butter dish and attacked the slab with his knife. ‘Sometimes, just sometimes, I miss the bad old days when Mam was too poor to afford a fridge. At least then we never had trouble spreading the butter.'

As Judy sat in the front seat of her car, trying to calm herself in readiness for the drive back to Swansea, Sam left the house. She expected him to walk past her car on his way to the club, but to her surprise he tapped on the car window. She wound it down and looked at him warily. He crouched on his heels to bring his face down to her level.

‘I think we should talk.'

Bracing herself for yet another argument, she said, ‘The passenger door is open.'

He walked around the car, opened the door and sat beside her. ‘That was quite a performance you gave in there. My mother is really upset. I left her crying.'

‘Crocodile tears?' She looked him in the eye. ‘Sorry, that was unpardonable of me.'

‘Yes, it was. As I was saying, she is very upset but if you go back in and apologise to her it might help. I'm not saying she'll forgive you but she may talk to you again before the wedding. As Mrs Richards just said to her, all brides suffer from nerves.'

‘Nerves!'

‘There you go again, Judy, repeating everything I say.'

She took a deep breath and steeled herself. ‘I meant every word I said in there and,' she looked him in the eye, ‘everything I did.'

‘You can't be serious about breaking our engagement.'

‘I've never been more serious in my life.'

‘But we've booked the church, the Mackworth, the flowers, the car, the cake, the invitations –'

‘And tomorrow I'll go around and unbook everything.'

‘But my suit's being made. It will be ready next week.'

‘As that is the only thing you agreed to pay for and likely to lose money on, I think you can stand the expense.'

‘Just because my mother –'

‘This has nothing to do with your mother, Sam,' she said seriously. ‘I haven't been happy since we set the date.'

‘Please, don't try telling me that you need more time. That's all I've been hearing from you for the last two years. That and your bloody salons.'

‘Listen to yourself, Sam, you never used to swear the way you do now.'

‘You'd make a monk swear,' he broke in abruptly.

‘Can't you see that we're not happy together?' she pleaded, deliberately pitching her voice low.

‘Now I'm not making you happy!'

‘No more than I make you.' Her hand shook as she accepted a cigarette from him.

‘So, what have we been doing together for the last two years?' he asked angrily. ‘Wasting our time?'

‘Of course not, we had some good times.'

‘Did we?'

‘I thought so,' she murmured softly. ‘And if you didn't, why did you ask me to marry you?'

‘Because I thought you cared for me.'

‘And you? Did you care for me, Sam?'

‘Of course I bloody well did.'

‘Please, Sam, let's try and talk about this calmly and sensibly without losing our tempers and swearing and shouting at one another,' she begged.

‘The way I see it, we were fine until the night that bastard Brian Powell walked into Helen and Jack's.'

‘This is about you and me. It has nothing to do with Brian.'

He slipped his hand into his trouser pocket and pulled out her engagement ring. He held it out to her. ‘Put this back on your finger.'

She looked him in the eye. ‘No.'

‘That is your final word?'

‘Yes, Sam.'

‘Then go to hell, and take bloody Brian Powell with you.' He wrenched down the door handle and stepped out of the car: Feeling anything but calm, she gunned the ignition and pulled away from the kerb.

‘Jack, this is a nice surprise. Don't just stand there. Come in. Katie, Jack's here.' John opened the living-room door. Katie was sitting in the easy chair next to the fireplace nursing Glyn, his pram set in a draught-free alcove next to her. As newspapers were scattered on the floor around the other easy chair, Jack sensed that he had interrupted the sort of quiet, domestic Sunday morning he and Helen would have enjoyed – if they had still been together.

‘Jack, it's lovely to see you.' Katie's thin face shone with pleasure. ‘Let me make you a cup of tea.'

‘I'll make it, love,' John interrupted.

‘No, thanks,' Jack refused. ‘I've only just left the breakfast table.'

‘At least sit down,' John insisted.

Jack sat on the sofa set between the two easy chairs.

‘Look, Glyn, it's your Uncle Jack come to visit.' Katie pulled the shawl away from the baby's face so Jack could get a better look at him. She smiled at her brother. ‘Would you like to hold him?'

‘As long as he doesn't cry.' Jack took the baby from her and cradled him in the crook of his left arm. To his surprise, the baby settled happily.

‘I was only saying to Brian the other day that I hadn't seen you since the party.' Katie leaned forward and retied a blue ribbon on one of Glyn's booties.

‘He told me.'

‘I didn't mean it as a criticism, Jack. I know how busy you are with the garage opening up and everything.'

‘Not that busy.' He smiled down at the baby who was staring up at him through enormous, round blue eyes. ‘He's going to be a looker, Katie.'

‘What do you mean going to be,' Katie burst out with all the protective enthusiasm of a new mother. ‘He's beautiful, aren't you, my precious?'

Excited by the sound of her voice, the baby waved his arms and legs, catching one of Jack's fingers in his hand. ‘Some grip you've got there, mate.' Jack fought a tightening in his throat. He had never entirely believed women when they cooed over babies, saying things like, ‘He has his father's eyes' or ‘That's his mother's chin,' but Glyn's mouth was the exact same shape as Katie's and his forehead was high and broad just like John's. The child was a perfect combination of both parents and he couldn't help remembering the child Helen had lost and wondering what he – or she – would have looked like. And that brought thoughts of the baby Maggie was carrying …

‘Have you seen Helen?' Katie asked courageously.

‘Not since she threw me out of the house. With good cause,' he added, anxious not to give the impression that he had visited to complain about her. ‘Has she talked to you about it?'

‘No,' John responded. ‘She hasn't talked to me about anything other than work for the last two weeks and then only in the warehouse. We've invited her to visit us, but she hasn't. However, you only have to look at her to know that she's desperately unhappy. And if you'll forgive me for saying so, you don't look too good yourself.'

‘I miss her.'

‘Then why don't you go and see her?' Katie broke in impatiently. ‘Surely whatever it is that's happened can't be that bad?'

‘It is, sis.'

‘Have you come to tell us about it?' John asked intuitively.

‘Helen's your daughter. You have a right to know what I've done to hurt her.'

‘You two have far more of a right to live your own lives without interference from me or anyone else in the family.' John picked up the papers from around his chair and folded them into the magazine rack.

‘It's all going to come out anyway and I'd rather tell you to your face than have you hear it from the gossips.' Jack looked from John to Katie, saw love and concern etched in his sister's face and mustered his courage.

He began by telling them about Cyprus, the ambush and the sergeant's death, just as he had related to Martin and Lily. Neither Katie nor John interrupted him while he spoke and even after he had finished telling them the whole sorry tale they remained silent.

Just as he was wondering if he should leave, rather than wait for them to make a comment, the baby kicked out restlessly in his arms.

‘Glyn needs changing and feeding. I'll take him upstairs.' Katie left her chair and lifted Glyn from Jack's arm.

‘Katie …' Jack found himself talking to a closed door.

‘Katie will need time to come to terms with what you've just told us, Jack,' John warned.

‘That's if she ever does.'

‘Oh, she will, don't worry yourself about that.' John left his chair and went to the sideboard. ‘Would you like a drink? We have brandy, or sherry, if you'd prefer it.'

Jack shook his head. ‘Nothing, thank you.'

‘I hope you don't mind me indulging.' John poured himself a small brandy and returned to his seat.

‘Katie will hate me after this.'

‘No, she won't,' John reassured, ‘but as I said, she will need time to adjust to the fact that one of her big brothers isn't perfect. Not that anyone ever is. It's simply that you and Martin have always been her heroes.' He sipped his brandy. ‘Does anyone else know why Helen threw you out?'

‘I told Martin and Lily when I moved in with them. I thought it only fair. I think Lily would have thrown me out as well if I hadn't been Martin's brother. I offered to find somewhere else to live and I will start looking. Given the circumstances, I can hardly carry on living next door to you.' He rose to his feet. ‘I'm sorry. I've intruded enough.'

‘I'll say this much for you, Jack, you've never lacked courage. I remember the night you told me you'd made Helen pregnant. You faced me man-to-man, almost daring me to hit you. You accepted responsibility for your mistakes then, just as you are now.'

‘I thought you'd be furious and I don't just mean then, I mean now.'

‘I was and I am,' John said shortly. ‘But I'm also an expert at concealing my feelings.'

‘I'm sorry for messing up Helen's life, and upsetting you and Katie. I know that sounds pathetic, but I mean it and I'll understand if you don't want me to call again and see Katie and Glyn.'

‘You can't throw someone out of a family the way you can throw someone out of a house,' John said wryly. ‘Katie won't forget what you did, but in my opinion she will forgive you – eventually – and given my age and disabilities, Glyn will be grateful for a young uncle who can run alongside his bike when he's learning to ride one.'

‘Thank you.'

‘What are you going to do?'

‘Work hard in the garage and make as much money as I can. If Helen wants to divorce me, as the one who fouled up I think I should be the one to pay the bill. And, if I can, I'd like to adopt the baby when it's born. I've hurt enough people without hurting him.'

‘You think they'll let you adopt the baby?'

‘Maggie said they won't, but that's not going to stop me from trying.'

‘Have you thought how Helen will feel, if by some miracle you do manage to adopt this baby?'

‘Yes, and I also know she's never fully recovered from the pain of losing our baby. You know we talked about adopting one when I came home, but much as I love Helen and don't want to hurt her more than I already have, I can't turn my back on this child.'

‘So you have no intention of trying to save your marriage to my daughter?'

‘If I thought there was anything to save, I'd crawl back to her on my hands and knees, and spend the rest of my life trying to make her happy. But I saw her face when she threw me out of the house. There is nothing left.'

‘I'm sorry, Jack.'

‘So am I,' Jack opened the door. ‘More than I can say.'

‘You don't have to go in,' Lily comforted Helen as they sat outside Cartref.

‘I know,' Helen murmured.

‘Do you want me to come with you?'

Helen looked at the front door. ‘She'll think it strange that I want to see her. If we both go in, she might feel threatened.'

‘She might.'

‘But I feel awful to have dragged you all the way up here. I can't just go in and leave you sitting in the car.'