Homecoming: A Secret Baby Romance (5 page)

“
W
here were you
?” My mom demanded from the passenger seat, her head stuck out the window as I came walking back out of the airport, my arms crossed across my chest.

I didn’t respond as I walked up to the car and hopped into the backseat. It was hard not to break down and start bawling my eyes out. I’d just fucked up everything.

“Hello, Nikki?” My mom demanded, turning around in her seat to peer at me in the back. “What the hell was that all about? Jerry was forced to circle around the terminal four times because you wouldn’t come out and the agent told him that he had to move.”

Jerry cut in before I could reply, his facial expression surprised. “What in the—.”

Max appeared out of the airport doors, his face a mask of fury, carrying his luggage. “Pop the trunk,” he commanded as he walked up to the vehicle and circled behind.

“What is he doing back here?” Jerry asked me. Of course, I didn’t reply.

Max pounded on the back of the trunk. “Pop it!”

Looking terribly confused, Jerry quickly reached down and I heard a click. The car shook for a moment as Max threw his bag into the trunk, and then he slammed it shut.

When he jumped in the back with me, our parents immediately assaulted him with a bunch of questions.

“What are you doing? Why aren’t you inside the terminal? Was your flight canceled?”

Max pressed his fingers to his temples as they continued to berate him. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had a huge headache after the bombshell that I dropped on him.

“Can you just drive?” Max asked loudly, cutting them off. “Before one of those asshole security guys tell us to move and I get out and do something I regret?”

“I want to know why you aren’t on that plane.” Jerry began.

“Just fucking drive!” Max yelled, startling both our parents into silence and causing me to cringe at the anger in his voice. “I’m not going back to the airport so you can stop wasting your time.”

After a stunned pause, Jerry muttered, “Okay.” He started the car and drove off just as an agent was walking up to tell him to move his vehicle.

A
s soon as
we cleared the airport and the surrounding area, Jerry pulled over to the side of the road and shut the engine down.

“Now,” he said firmly. “I’m not starting this car until I know what’s going on here.”

“Well, I guess we’ll just be sitting here then,” Max growled.

“Max!” My mom complained. “Come on, don’t be like that with your father. He just wants to help, as do I.”

“Exactly,” Jerry added, “I want to know why the hell you aren’t on that plane right now. Don’t you know that you can get in major trouble?”

“I don’t need you to tell me that,” Max retorted. “I know very well what I’m getting into.”

Jerry clenched the steering wheel and the veins stood out on his neck. I sensed an explosion about to happen, one that would probably leave Max alone on the road and hitchhiking.

This could get really bad, I thought, anxiety twisting my stomach. And what makes it worse, is that it’s all my fault.

Before Jerry could explode on Max, my mom turned and looked at me. “What is going on, Nikki?”

My mouth went dry. “What do you mean?”

Mother scowled. “Don’t play stupid with me, girl! You ran into that airport like a needy dog chasing its owner! And when you came back, Max was right behind you. What gives?”

I glanced over at Max, who was seated behind my mother and just looking straight ahead at her headrest, his jaw clenched.

“I didn’t do anything.”

Mom snorted. “Do you really expect me to believe that? Who do you think you’re fooling here? Something happened.”

I must admit, my mom was lighting a match under my ass, and my heart began to pound like crazy. “I just told him that I would miss him and I didn’t want him to go.”

My mom stared at me suspiciously. “That’s all?” I nodded.

She looked over pleadingly at her husband, who was still gripping the steering wheel with the grip of an iron vice. “Jerry.”

He let out a deep breath. “Both of you need to explain yourselves. We’ll support you either way Max, we just want to know what the hell’s going on.”

Before I could reply, Max surprised me by speaking up. “Look, I’m not going, that’s all that matters right now. We can talk about it later, but for now, just fucking drive.”

Jerry reached back into the back seat like he was about to backhand Max, but my mother grabbed him by the hand. “Jerry don’t!” she cried desperately.

My palms sweated and became clammy as I watched on the edge of my seat. Max’s chest was heaving, practically fuming and looking for someone to vent his rage on. Jerry would be making a huge mistake if he hit Max right now. A huge mistake.

Jerry seemed to realize it a second later, and he angrily flung my mother’s hand away from him. Scowling with anger, he fired up the car and said as he drove back onto the road, “I don’t know what your problem is, young man, but if you don’t get your act together, the Marines won’t be the only place you won’t be coming back to.”

“
H
ow could
you do this to me, Nikki?” Max demanded as he paced the room.

We were back home, inside of Max’s room. After a sullen discussion with our parents where I played stupid and Max refused to speak or give any reason for his return. Max had dragged me into his room to demand an explanation from me.

He was currently berating me as quietly as he could, amazing giving the circumstances, due to our parents being downstairs and possibly eavesdropping.

I lowered my head where I was sitting on his bed, unable to look his way. Since telling him I was pregnant, it was extremely hard to look at him or even talk to him. He was so pissed off, and rightfully so. “I couldn’t let you leave.”

Max stopped his pacing to scowl vile anger. “You couldn’t let me leave, so you trap me? With a baby?” He shook his head. “For fucks sake! You’re fucking crazy!”

I trembled. He was killing me with his harsh words and anger. I just wanted to leave and run from the room rather than face his wrath. “It was a mistake. I’d realized it right away.” My voice sounded frail and tiny.

Max snorted in disbelief. “A mistake? A mistake is not what you call it when you stop taking birth control so your unsuspecting stepbrother can get you pregnant!”

It was true. What could I say to that? Hadn’t I intentionally stopped taking birth control for the purpose of getting back at Max and giving him a reason to stay home? Granted, I had done it in a moment of extreme weakness and anger, but that didn’t make it right.

I wanted most of all for Max to calm down. His anger was growing and I could easily see him moving on from growling to shouting and yelling, alerting our parents to our problems and possibly revealing our secret. Until he calmed down, we weren’t ready to fill them in on anything.

“I was angry, upset,” I said, my excuse sounding lame to my ears. “I had a momentary breakdown when you said you were reenlisting in the marines. So I went off the pill . . . but it was only one time. A lot of people have to try a lot to get pregnant. I thought that I was in the clear. Apparently I was wrong.”

“Unbelievable,” Max muttered, shaking his head while staring at me, “simply unbelievable.”

I squirmed beneath his gaze. I felt so horrible.

“And it would be my luck that you got pregnant simply off just one time. Fuck!” Max paused and took a deep, calming breath, which I was grateful for. “Just tell me this, Nikki, help me understand, because surely you can’t be that crazy — why would you do something like that to me after I already told you that I would do everything in my power to make our relationship work when I returned home? All you had to do was be patient and wait.”

“But would you have really come back?” I dared ask in a shaky voice. “You already had reservations about getting into a relationship with me. What would happen if you changed your mind while you were away and I waited all that time thinking that we would be together?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say. I just said that I had a moment of weakness. I knew the consequences, and afterward, I was thinking rationally, but in the moment, I couldn’t help myself.”

I stepped toward Max and reached out to touch him. “Max, please stop for a second. You’re just angry and need some time to—.”

Max shoo’d my hand away as if it was an annoying fly. “Don’t touch me,” he growled.

I flinched, rearing back. It hurt for him to treat me this way, even though I deserved it.

Max stared at me for a moment, shook his head in disgust and then made his way to the bedroom door.

I immediately started after him. “Max! Where are you going?”

He ignored me as he flung the door open and marched out into the upstairs hallway. As I trailed him down the stairs, I briefly worried that he was going to tell our parents our little secret. Half-way down, I almost tripped and tumbled down the steps, but quickly regained my balance. “Max!”

As soon as Max hit the bottom floor, he marched past the living room, startling our parents, who were sitting on the couch, probably discussing the change in Max, and out the front the door, slamming it behind him.

Before I could rush outside and beg Max to come back, my mother intercepted me, grabbing me firmly by the arm and getting in my face.

“We need to talk,” she said.

* * *

“
I
think
Max is suffering from PTSD,” I said to my parents.

I was sitting on the couch in the living room. My mother was seated beside me and Jerry was standing in the middle of the room in front of the TV, his arms folded across his chest.

When my parents began pressing me about what was going on between Max and me, I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind that made remotely any sense. It was a horrible lie, but what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t tell them that Max had stood up the military because I’d trapped him with a baby.

My parents exchanged grave glances and my mother pressed her fingers to her lips in horror. “Why didn’t you tell us this earlier, Nikki?”

“I didn’t want to disturb you guys,” I replied, trying to keep my voice even. “I wanted to believe that Max was okay, but ever since he’s been back . . . I could see . . .” I shook my head, tears coming to my eyes, unable to speak.

I would’ve deserved an Oscar for my acting if not for the fact that my tears were genuine, spurred by how horrible I felt.

My mother placed a comforting hand on my shoulder and I wiped at the tear sliding down my cheek. “Thank you.” I cleared my throat. “Ever since he’s been back, I could see that something was bothering him. I tried to ask him about what happened while he was away and he would get this haunted look on his face that freaked me out.”

“And what would he say?” Jerry asked. He was staring at me intently, hanging on to my every word. “In response, I mean.”

“He would just mumble something about that some things are better left unsaid,” I replied, trying to avoid looking Jerry in the eye so I wouldn’t crack. “Also, on the first night he was back he took me to the bar and started drinking heavily. I mean, throwing back shot after shot like he was trying to numb his pain. After a while, he was drunk enough to tell me the reason.”

You’re such a liar. Images of Max’s big cock in front of my face flashed before my eyes.

“It’s just so hard to accept,” mother muttered, staring off into space. “Max was so adamant that he reenlist and seemed to be enormously excited about being deployed again. He never seemed depressed or disturbed to me at all. Not only that, up until a couple of days ago, you and Max looked like you were having the time of your lives.”

“Well . . . that’s the thing. We weren’t, it was just a front. He made me swear to never say a word of this to you guys. He didn’t want you to know, so you wouldn’t worry.” It seemed that my lie was getting easier to tell as I expanded on the half-true story, every piece of the false puzzle falling into place right where I needed it. I still hated it as I was getting myself deeper and deeper. “And that’s why I ran into the airport like that . . . because I knew Max was going to be getting back on that plane and going somewhere dangerous when he really needs help.”

“Oh my god.” My mom looked at her husband, her expression fearful. “Jesus, Jerry I had no idea Max was struggling with this.”

“Neither did I,” Jerry replied, obviously shaken. He looked back to me. “Was there anything else you’ve seen from Max?”

I thought for a moment. “Um . . . no, not that I can think of.” My words trailed off. I knew I needed to stop with all the lies before they got even more ridiculous, it’d just make stuff harder in the end.

Jerry and my mother stood there in silence, not saying another word.

T
he sound
of the front door opening caused me to jump up from the couch, my heart pounding in my chest. Earlier, I’d dozed off watching reality TV, waiting for Max to come back home. Our parents had long since retired to their bedroom for the night, having grown tired of waiting for Max’s return. Besides, Jerry had to work in the morning.

“Max?” I asked as I went rushing over to the front door. “Max, where were you?”

Max stumbled into the foyer, falling to the floor. I rushed to his side and kneeled down. Instantly, I crinkled my nose at the smell of hard liquor.

He looked up at me, eyeing me with bloodshot eyes. His shirt, which was open at the chest, was ruffled and had stains all over it. “Where’d you think I was?” he slurred.

“Sandy’s,” I said as a statement of a fact.

“I don’t need any help. I’m fine.”

“Max please don’t,” I pleaded. “Just let me help you up to your room.”

I was surprised when he didn’t offer any resistance. Helping him to his feet, I let him drape his arm over my shoulder. It took some effort going up the stairs, but we finally made it to his room.

Once inside, I led him over to the bed where he collapsed onto it with a sigh.

“You didn’t have to go out and do that, Max,” I told him sternly. I didn’t have room to talk, but I couldn’t help myself.

Max propped himself up on his elbows and tried to look at me. “Yeah I did,” he said wiping at his eyes. “I needed to blow off some steam. Clear my head. Forget about everything for a little bit.”

His words were slurred, but he still seemed to be all there mentally. I had to wonder if what I had done to keep him with me, would instead cost me everything. “I think I’ll go now,” I said weakly. The bad thing about it all was, it was only going to get worse from here on out.

I made my way to the door, but Max called out before I could leave.

“Wait.” I froze, my hand on the doorknob.

“I want to talk.”

I turned back around. “But you’re drunk,” I protested. “I agree we need to talk, but we should wait until you sober up.”

“Give me an hour and a cup of coffee, and I’ll be good.”

I stood there for a couple of moments, undecided.

“You owe me.” He added.

I wanted to run from the room, find my bed, jump in and hide under the cover, away from all the problems that I’d created. I almost did it too, Max was drunk anyway and there was probably little useful conversation we could have, but then I decided against it.

“Okay,” I said finally.

* * *

“
I
told
them you had PTSD,” I said to Max about an hour later. I was perched on the foot of his bed, Indian style, while he sat up against his board rest, his shirt off. Even with the situation I was in, it was hard not to stare at his well-defined abs as he breathed in and out.

Max stared at me. His eyes were still a bit red, but he was far more focused than when he’d stumbled into the house. “Tell me you’re joking.”

I looked away, feeling cowardly. “Unfortunately not.”

Smacking his hand against the headboard, Max hissed, “Jesus Christ, Nikki, what’s wrong with you!”

“Well what else could I tell them?” I demanded, my anxiety and pulse rising. “They know that something was up. I mean there had to be something serious going on for you to come back out of that airport. I’m not good at thinking on my feet like that so I just said something.”

The scowl that took over Max’s face made my stomach twist into a knot.

“It’s better than telling them I’m . . .” I gulped as my words trailed off, hoping that the scowling Max didn’t fly off into a rage.

But surprisingly he didn’t and he grew silent for several minutes, his scowl morphing into a thoughtful expression. “You’re right,” he said a minute later. “I guess telling them that was better than telling them the truth. For now anyway.”

Inwardly, I sighed with relief.

“Still a shitty lie, though,” Max rebutted. “But I would have been hard pressed coming up with an explanation if I were in your shoes.”

I was amazed that Max could even put himself in my position.

“Max,” I said, my voice aching with emotion. “I’m sorry. Sorry for everything. I didn’t mean for it to wind up this way, you’ve got to believe me.” Tears streamed down my cheeks as I tried to hold back forceful sobs.

I knew I didn’t deserve his sympathy, but Max still managed to look sorry for me anyway. The bed creaked as Max crawled over to me and pulled me into his arms. “It’s okay,” he cooed stroking me. “I forgive you.”

I jerked my head up in shock. “You do?”

Max nodded. “I thought about you while I was out at Sandy’s and I thought to myself,
would Nikki ever really try to hurt me?
and I know that you wouldn’t. I knew then that you cared so strongly about me and were overcome with so much emotion that you lost yourself.”

I couldn’t believe it. It was a miracle. Max was trying to see reason.

“Now, don’t go thinking I’m okay with what you did,” Max reminded me. “Because I’m not. I just understand why you were upset.”

Relief swept through me. “Thank you,” I cried into his chest, swinging my arms around his neck and sobbing. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” The feel of his skin on my arms burned, causing sparks of electricity to flow up and down my skin.

Max coughed. “Damn Nikki, you’re choking me.”

I quickly pulled back, wiping at my tears of joy. “Oh sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Max twisted his lips appearing to think. “But now I have a lot of crap I’m going to have to deal with. Thanks to you telling our folks that I’m bat-shit crazy, I’m going to have to fend off their offers to help on top of everything else.”

I bit my lower lip. “I’m sorry,” I apologized again. “I truly could think of no other lie to tell them in the moment.”

Max waved away my worries. “That’s the least of the problems anyway. I’m going to have to talk to my commanding officer and see if I can somehow get out of my enlistment.”

The dread feeling that had gone away came back, twisting my stomach. “You think you’ll be able to get out of it? Without any consequences, I mean.”

Max looked doubtful. “I don’t know, I’ll have to see come tomorrow but . . . I have to tell you something.”

My heart jumped in my chest. What was this? Did Max have a secret now?

“What?” I dared asked.

Max stared at me for a long time, causing my pulse to increase with each second that passed. “It might still be good for me to go . . . if they’ll have me.”

“Huh?” The room began to spin around me, and my ears began to ring. It felt like my whole world came crashing down all over again. Here Max was, forgiving me, telling me that he was going to let my actions slide, only to crush my hopes and dreams by revealing that all my efforts to keep him home had been for naught.

“If you’re not actually pregnant,” Max quickly added when my face crumpled into a broken mask. “Have you taken a home test? If not, I need you to go get a test just to make sure.”