Homeroom Headhunters (19 page)

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Authors: Clay McLeod Chapman

Tags: #Fiction - Young Adult

BOOK: Homeroom Headhunters
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never thought I'd feel this way, but I really needed to get back to school.

There was some unfinished business to attend to.

Peashooter had gone too far. He was taking quotes from his favorite books and warping the words to fit what he wanted to say. He had convinced the rest of the Tribe to believe in him, that his way was the right way,
the only way
—but now that I'd seen the familial aftershocks of his manipulation firsthand, tearing these parents apart, I knew I had to stop him.

I just had to figure out how.

How can one kid stand up to a nose-pierced Napoleon?

I had two days left on my suspension to come up with a plan.

I was in my bedroom holding the copy of
The Catcher in
the Rye
Pritchard had given me. Calling it a
book
was misleading. The plain white cover was holding on for dear life, and the spine had given out long ago. The only thing keeping the pages together was a rubber band.

Since I was on lockdown, I wasn't leaving my room—so I decided to see what Pritchard had been talking about all this time.

A passage around page 188 struck a nerve:

“The mark of an immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a
cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly
for one.”

I reread the sentence again, out loud this time.

I looked at Sully's photocopied
MISSING
flyer thumbtacked to my wall.

ME:
What do you think Salinger's getting at?

SULLY:
Heck if I know. You're reading the book, not me. I'm just
a voice in your head.

ME:
You're a big help, Sully. Thanks a lot.

SULLY:
Maybe he's saying that an immature man wants to die
in the line of fire because that will get him all the attention—
but what then? He's dead. A lot of good that does for the cause.
But a mature man realizes that the true sign of strength is to
live and fight for what you believe in every day, day after day.
The cause is greater than the man
.…

ME:
Oh. Yeah—that's what I was going to say too.

SULLY:
Sure you were, Spencer,
…
sure you were.

What was Pritchard up to? Did he want me to see something of myself in this Caulfield character?

By the time Mom knocked on my door, I had nearly finished reading the whole book. “Didn't you hear me calling?”

“Just got wrapped up in my reading, I guess.…”

“Dinner's getting cold.”

• • •

That night, I made a list of all the books and short stories and plays Peashooter was fond of using on the rest of the Tribe:

Lord of the Flies. White Fang. The Call of the Wild. The
Outsiders.
“The Most Dangerous Game.”
The Art of War. All's
Well that Ends Well.
“The Pit and the Pendulum.”
The Red Badge
of Courage.

I had some brushing up to do.

And less than two days to do it.

When I returned to school, I knew Peashooter would be waiting for me. Bic guns a-blazing. He would come at me with everything the Tribe had.

There was no way he'd let this go. Not with what I knew—like the location of their hideout and their true identities.

I was the Student Who Knew Too Much.

But I wasn't going down without a fight. If Peashooter wanted a war, fine.

To the law of claw and fang!

om drove me to school for my first day back. No kiss on the forehead this time.

“Remember your inhaler?”

“Forgot it,” I said. “Don't worry—I've got a spare in my locker.”

I looked out the window toward Greenfield. The building had been given a yuletide face-lift since I'd left. It was completely covered in tinsel and Christmas colors.

There was no telling what was waiting for me inside.

“Any words of wisdom for me? Sure could use some right about now.”

“Don't rock the boat, Spencer.
Ever
again.”

“No more boat-rocking from me, Mom.”

I'm sinking this ship.

• • •

Time for the final showdown.

Pushing through Greenfield's front doors, I felt like a cowboy ready to square off in a duel.

Cue the harmonica sound track.

Cue tumbleweeds.

It felt like all eyes were on me the second I entered. As soon as I stared back, catching any one of these werekids by the eyeball, they'd bow their head and step aside.

Who knew what I might do next? As far as my classmates were concerned, I was Public (Education) Enemy #1. There was no telling what I was capable of.

Everybody cleared a path as I ambled through the hall. I heard a few whispers—
the newbie's back, what's he up to?
—but I kept rambling.

There was only one person under this school's roof that I was looking for.

But first—a little detour to my locker.

I needed to reload.

When I popped open the plastic cap and brought My Little Friend up to my lips, I glanced down just in time to see segmented legs crawling out of the mouthpiece.

There was a spider hiding inside my inhaler.

A spider. Inside. My inhaler.

And not just any kind of spider, either:

A black widow.

Another inch and that arachnid would've gone right down my windpipe.

Sully was the etymologist, but this had Peashooter's dirty fingerprints all over it.

I flung my third lung to the floor and—
SQUISH
.

Instant black jam.

You're going down, Peashooter. I don't care if I have to take the rest
of the school down with me, but this ends today
.…

Now, where was he?

• • •

The boiler room was empty.

No trace of the Tribe.

Every last book, every last weapon from their arsenal of modified school supplies, every last bit of tribal graffiti on the walls—
all gone
.

They must've known I'd come looking for evidence. Something,
anything
, that could prove their existence.

Somebody must have cleaned up after them.

“What are you doing down here?”

I spun around to discover Pritchard standing behind me, arms crossed at his chest.

“You're tailing me?” I asked.

“Considering it's your first day back, I figured I should keep an eye on you.”

“No need to roll out the welcome wagon for me, sir.”

“In my office.
Now
.”

• • •

Apparently,
somebody
had checked out over two dozen books under my name, then ripped out every page and flushed them down the toilets in the boys' bathroom.

What is Peashooter up to?

“I haven't even set foot in the library.”

“I'm not stupid,” Pritchard said, in his office. “I know it couldn't have been you.”


Finally!
Somebody believes me.”

“But I know you know who the culprit is.” Pritchard's voice dropped an octave. “Tell me who they are, and you'll be absolved.”

Deep breath.
“That's okay, sir.”

“Spencer…I can understand how you might think protecting them is the right thing to do—but trust me, it's not.”

I could end all this right now. Here's my chance
.…

“Think I'm fine handling this on my own, but thanks, Jim.”

“Please. Stop calling me Jim.”

“After all we've been through together?”

“Just get back to class. And don't let me catch you nosing around the basement again.”

Pritchard escorted me out of his office. Passing the front desk, a microphone caught my eye.

The school's PA system.

This is where Pritchard sits and makes his announcements every day, his voice reaching into each classroom.

There were only three steps between me and the mic.

Now or never.

Before Pritchard knew what I was up to, I bolted for the PA system and flipped the switch. A peel of feedback screeched over the intercom.

“Hey—
Peashooter
!” I heard myself say, my voice echoing throughout the entire school. “I know you can hear me. I'm coming for you. Why don't you stop hiding and face me like a real—”

Pritchard killed the switch before I could finish. The rumble of my voice halted.

“Spencer!”

I booked it out of the office.

“Sorry, sir!”

Pritchard chased after me, but once I was in the hallway, I could hear his voice fade. “Spencer, get back here.…”

No turning back now.

I'd gone rogue.

• • •

Simms didn't hear me enter the boys' room. He was too busy extracting paper from the toilet.

“Thought I'd find you here,” I said.

Simms glanced over his shoulder, acting not all too surprised to find me standing behind him. He reached his gloved hand in and pulled out a soggy clump of paper.

“Somebody's really got it out for you today.”

“What are they up to?” I asked.

“Who?”

“You know who. What is Peashooter going to do?”

Mr. Simms held up a page torn out from some book. He read:
“The facts of life took on a fiercer aspect; and while he faced that
aspect uncowed, he faced it with all the latent cunning of his nature
aroused.”

“That's from
The Call of the Wild
,” I said.

Simms smiled.

“This is one of my favorite books. I remember reading it way back when.” He closed his eyes and recited,

…
the blood lust, the
joy to kill—all this was Buck's
.…

When he said “this,” he held out his hands and motioned to the walls surrounding him. For a second, listening to Simms, it sure sounded like he was referring to school.

Our school.

I recited along with him.
“…to kill with his own teeth and
wash his muzzle to the eyes in warm blood!”

Just then, all the fiberglass panels shattered over our heads.

Peashooter, Yardstick, Compass, and Sporkboy dropped down from the ceiling. They were wearing matching brown sweatshirts with the hoods pulled over their heads.

An incognito assault during school hours.

No Sully, though.

Where is she?

“Mr. Simms!” I tried warning him. “Watch out! They're—”

I cut myself off.

Nobody moved. Nobody even breathed.

All this time I'd thought Peashooter was the leader of the pack.

Turns out I was wrong.

“You're…one of them, aren't you?”

Simms nodded.

“Turn around,” he said. “It's probably best if you didn't see this.…”

I took an arachnid-free gasp of air from My Little Friend and turned toward the bathroom mirror.

“See you around, Spence,” Peashooter said.

I caught Sporkboy's reflection as he brought a corn dog down on top of my head. The blunt thud of a half-frozen nunchuck knocked me out cold.

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