Hometown Cinderella: Hometown Cinderella\The Inn at Hope Springs (23 page)

Her frown cleared. “You’re right.”

He decided to walk the short way to the Blackstone place. He saw no signs of anyone when he arrived, a little surprised not to see Dietrich outside building a snowman the way he’d talked about at breakfast. Paul was at his own home today, it being Christmas Eve. He’d have to see if they needed any help milking the cow or hauling firewood.

He entered through the shed door, his heartbeat stepping up its rhythm at the thought of seeing Mara again so soon. He’d been calling her Mara in his head for a while now. Of course, he’d never presume to do so to her face unless she gave him permission.

He gripped the edges of his sealskin cap between his fingers, thinking again how right it had been to see her at his kitchen table this morning. It had birthed hopes and dreams in his heart that he hadn’t allowed since the day he’d met her, yet they’d found a way, nevertheless, to insinuate themselves down deep in his heart where he could control them as little as he could the waves lapping against the strakes of his dory.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the kitchen door.

A moment later, Mrs. Blackstone answered the door. “Good afternoon, Gideon. Is something wrong?”

Hiding his astonishment at her abrupt greeting, he dipped his head. “Good afternoon, Mrs. Blackstone. I just wanted to make sure Mara and Dietrich were all right, none the worse for wear.” He tried to chuckle but it came out flat in the face of Mrs. Blackstone’s disapproval. “And to fetch Dietrich, who promised to help us decorate our tree.”

Her lips pursed. “I’ll have to be frank with you, Gideon, I was very displeased by her comportment.”

He blinked. “How’s that, ma’am?”

“I’ll have you know I cannot countenance such behavior.”

What was she talking about? “If it’s about the storm, I found Mrs. Keller halfway between here and town and brought her home. We decided it best that she stay at my place with Lizzie since Dietrich was already there.”

Mrs. Blackstone said nothing, her nostrils pinched as if he brought in an unpleasant odor.

He fiddled with his cap. “Is Mrs. Keller or Dietrich about? I know they must have been exhausted from yesterday. Did she tell you how I found her?” He felt as if he were trying to fill the silence as Mrs. Blackstone continued staring at him.

“Mara is not here, nor is her son.”

“Pardon me?” He smiled nervously. “I would’ve expected them both to be too tuckered out to go anywhere today.”

The moment became more and more awkward, Gideon wishing he’d never come. But then he wouldn’t have had a chance to see Mara again. He and Lizzie had decided to invite them to Christmas dinner tomorrow. It would be the first time they’d have a guest—any guest, but particularly a female guest—to such an important family dinner.

Mrs. Blackstone looked down at her folded hands. “My late husband’s daughter no longer resides here. She and her son have decided to move to town.”

His chest felt as if it had been crushed under a great pine log. “Move to town?”

Mrs. Blackstone took a step back into the kitchen, her thin lips straight and unyielding. “That’s right. I have no other information about her. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Gideon, I don’t want to let the cold air in.”

He reached out as she was closing the door. “Wait—do you know where she is staying?”

“I really couldn’t say.”

“But why would she leave here on Christmas Eve?”

She stood as if debating whether to say anything more. “She refused to live by my rules—the rules of any God-fearing woman. Now, good day, Mr. Jakeman.”

The door was closed quietly but firmly in his face. He could feel his ire rising but he took a step away, struggling to make sense of things.

Finally, he stalked out of the shed and headed home. It would do no good to get upset without knowing anything. He’d hitch up the sleigh and head to town. Lizzie would understand when he told her.

By the time he got to town it was late afternoon. The streetlamps and storefronts were decorated with evergreen boughs and red ribbons, the freshly fallen snow covering rooftops and awnings, giving everything a festive cheer, but Gideon saw little of this, too anxious to find Mara.

He began at the hotel then proceeded to the most prominent boardinghouse. An hour later, he finally located her at the last rooming house on a side street at the farther end of town.

He stood outside the wooden door on the second floor, once again clutching his cap in his hands, unsure what he would say when he saw her. He’d had a lot of time to think on his way over.

He lifted his hand and knocked, the noise sounding louder than he intended in the silent hallway, his mouth feeling as dry as chalk.

Chapter Nineteen

M
ara sat staring at the faded, water-stained wallpaper surrounding her. Finally, after much whining, crying and a temper tantrum, Dietrich had fallen asleep.

More than the grueling trudge through the snow-packed road to town had been the emotional struggle of trying to make Dietrich understand why they were moving to town.

Thankfully, a farmer had given them a lift halfway there. She wasn’t sure if Dietrich would have made the trek otherwise. He was worn-out from his late night and now the emotional upheaval of leaving the only home he knew.

He had finally fallen asleep shouting, “I hate you! I hate you!” No matter how much she told herself he didn’t realize what he was saying, the words had pierced her to the core. What damage was she inflicting on her son after his months of steady progress in the hamlet under Gideon’s patient tutelage?

She hugged herself, shivering against the drafty room. She had taken the only room she could find, anxious to get Dietrich out of the cold, but this place, with its higher rates for every fire she burned, would not do. But for the next day or two, until the holiday was over, it would have to be sufficient.

She went into the bedroom where she would have to share a bed with Dietrich and put another blanket over him. Finally, she climbed in beside him. Her head hurt, her ankle was sore from walking and there was absolutely no reason to stay awake and fight off her gloomy thoughts.

Dear Lord, please grant me Your grace to endure this new episode. Please help Dietrich adjust to living here
.

Mara awoke with a start, having no idea at first where she was or what time it was. A few seconds later, eyeing the brown stains on the ceiling above and shivering under the blankets, she remembered everything. But before she could process it, she realized what had awakened her. A loud knock sounded on the door in the other room.

“Wait a moment, I’m coming,” she called out, struggling to rise and find her shoes.

A hand to her hair, she straightened her bodice with the other just as she reached the sitting-room door. Prepared to find her landlady, she stopped short, her mouth dropping open at the sight of Gideon standing there, looking so big and imposing.

He clutched his sealskin cap in his hand, a question in his eyes. “Mrs. Blackstone said you had moved to town.”

She stepped back, distressed that he had found them here so soon. “Yes, that’s right.”

With a look of inquiry, he stepped across the threshold. Saying nothing, she shut the door behind him.

When she remained silent, he cleared his throat. “I came by this afternoon to fetch Dietrich to help trim the tree and to invite you and Dietrich over for Christmas dinner after church tomorrow.”

His words sounded stilted, which only deepened her awareness of her sordid situation. Was he feeling as uncomfortable as she?

What had Carina told him? She clenched her hands at the sides of her skirt, not knowing what to say. “Th-that’s very kind of you.”

He glanced around, and she cringed at what he saw of her surroundings. “Where’s Dietrich?”

“Asleep in the other room.”

“Oh.” He sounded disappointed. “I could have taken him back with me if he’d been awake.”

“I’m not sure if that would be a good idea. He was quite upset when we left.” She looked away, unable to bear the look of pity in his eyes. “I think going back to your place will only make it more difficult for him to adjust.”

Gideon stared at her, his tongue cleaving to the roof of his mouth so he could hardly formulate the words that clamored in his mind to be asked. She seemed so aloof, as if she would resent any probing on his part. Finally, he just blurted out, “What did Mrs. Blackstone do?”

“What did she tell you?” she asked in a clipped tone.

He could feel his cheeks flush, unwilling to repeat what the old busybody had insinuated. He gestured with one hand. “Not much. Just that…that she couldn’t accept—”

Mara shook her head. “You needn’t say more. It doesn’t matter really.” She folded a pleat into her skirt, not meeting his probing look. “I—I have been intending to leave there ever since I moved out to the hamlet. It hasn’t been working out between my stepmother and myself. You may have noticed a bit of friction at times. But I needed to save enough money.” She sighed. “It has been hard on Dietrich.”

How he longed to offer succor to both her and her son.

She moistened her lips, her fingers working nervously. “I couldn’t bear to have her continuously find fault with Dietrich, even though he is not always the perfect child.”

He took a step closer to her. “If you had to go somewhere immediately, why didn’t you come back to our place? Lizzie would have loved to have you back for as long as you’d like and I…” He stopped, his gaze locking with hers.

But he found his throat too constricted to say what he really wanted. “I…I would have loved to have you stay as well,” he finally managed in a broken whisper.

Neither looked away but she didn’t speak.

He moistened his lips, plunging ahead. “You needn’t move away from the hamlet. Dietrich likes it there. I… That is, I…I’ve been thinking…and yesterday…when you were at the house, it just seemed right.” He stumbled over the words, as if feeling his way blindly. “What I’m trying to say is…I’d like to ask you to marry me.” There, he’d said it, though the moment the words were spoken, he sensed they’d come out all wrong. “Then you and Dietrich can come and live with us. You wouldn’t have to struggle anymore.”

“Mr. Jakeman—Gideon—” She shook her head. “You needn’t say such things. We’ll be all right.”

“You’d be a good mother to Lizzie and I’d do my best by Dietrich.” He felt as if he were falling down a cliff and whatever he did to stop just made him fall all the faster.

She took a step away from him, wrapping her arms about herself as if to fend him off. “That’s very kind of you, but I assure you, Dietrich and I will manage. He’s used to living in boardinghouses,” she ended with a short, bitter laugh.

He wished he could take his proposal back. He’d meant to go slowly. Now, he’d shocked her. Why hadn’t he, instead, offered to take them to his cousin’s house?

He crushed his cap between his hands. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Keller, to have spoken out of turn. I should never have presumed with such a lady as yourself. I truly didn’t intend to overstep my bounds.”

She reached out a hand, but stopped short of touching him. “It’s not that. I’m honored by your proposal, but I find…” Swallowing, as if unsure how to proceed, she finally said in a low tone he had to strain to hear, “I cannot accept a union with someone where there is no true love. I know that sounds overly romantic but I have lived too many years yoked to someone who was incapable of loving me.”

He stared at her a moment, comprehension dawning. She didn’t love him. Finally, he nodded once. “I understand.” Slowly, he walked to the door. Wordlessly, he took the doorknob in his hand.

But instead of turning it, he stood a few seconds. He had to tell her the truth, no matter what it cost him.

He spoke in a low tone, his back to her. “I never thought I’d feel this way about another woman after Elsie passed on. I knew since I met you that my feelings for you were wrong, that you’re too much a lady for someone like me, so I didn’t mean to offend you. And I don’t intend to insult you further by telling you that I love you. You were married to an important man, who didn’t treat you right.

“I’m just a lowly farmer. So please don’t take my proposal as an insult. I didn’t intend it so. But I can promise you I’ll never treat you roughly. I’ll honor you the way the Good Book says.”

Not waiting to hear any more polite refusals from her, he opened the door and left, closing it softly behind him.

By the time Gideon ended his short speech, the stony walls around Mara’s heart had not only been breached but lay scattered around her, utterly demolished. Before she could say anything, he turned and walked out the door.

“Gideon—” The cry died on her lips.

When he’d first mentioned marriage, she’d felt a profound disappointment that he offered her a way out for purely practical reasons.

Even with the unromantic proposal, it had been tempting to accept his offer. To have someone to shoulder her responsibilities. But she couldn’t help but remember the way he’d talked of his first wife. It was clear he’d loved her with a deep, abiding love.

Mara hadn’t thought he’d ever be capable again of the kind of love he’d had for Elsie, and she would be forever wishing for it. She couldn’t bear the thought of another marriage where she felt like the beggar for the crumbs of someone’s affections.

But Gideon’s last words had revealed what her heart had yearned to hear.

Walking to the window, Mara was in time to see him exit the building and climb onto his sleigh. She touched the grimy windowpane, as if she could halt his progress. But the sleigh was already heading down the street, its bells jingling merrily.

Her fingertips pressing against the cold pane, she watched him ride away, her heart wondering if it was too late. Had she lost the finest man she’d ever met?

Mara spent the rest of the dreary day trying to comfort a cranky Dietrich, and praying for another chance with Gideon.

When Christmas Day dawned bright and sunny, she waited until Dietrich woke up.

“How would you like to spend Christmas Day with the Jakemans?” she asked him over breakfast.

He fiddled with his food and finally shrugged. Although she’d bought him a gift, she decided not to give it to him now, but take it with her along with the small things she’d gotten or made for Gideon and Lizzie.

Realizing how badly the separation from them had hurt him, she held her peace. “First we’ll go to church and then we’ll hire a sleigh and go out there.”

After the Christmas service at a church in town, the ride to the hamlet went swiftly in the cold, biting air. All too soon they arrived at the Jakemans’. Mara secured the reins to a hitching post at the end of the drive, her hands shaking with nerves. What if Gideon had changed his mind? What if he had spoken prematurely and now regretted his words?

She knocked on the kitchen door, Dietrich for once subdued beside her.

Lizzie opened the door, a smile breaking out at the sight of them. “Mrs. Keller! I didn’t think you’d come. Papa said you wouldn’t be able to. Come in, come in,” she urged them, taking her by the arm. “Merry Christmas, Dietrich. What did Santa bring you?”

“Nothing.”

Lizzie’s eyes widened. “Nothing?” With a question then a wink toward Mara, she said, “Well, I think he got confused, thinking you were still here, ’cause he left a couple of packages under our tree for you.”

Dietrich’s mouth opened. “Here? Really?”

“Yep. Go on into the parlor and have a look.”

At that moment, Gideon entered from there and stopped short at the sight of them. He made no further move forward. “Hello.”

Mara inclined her head, feeling her heart in her throat. “Good afternoon. I…I wondered if your invitation to dinner was still open.”

He nodded. “Of course.” His attention focused on Dietrich who’d reached him. “Hello there, young fellow. Where are you going?”

“Lizzie said Santa left me something here by mistake.”

“I believe he did, but I don’t think it was a mistake, do you?” Although he addressed Dietrich, his eyes found Mara’s, and she swallowed.

Instead of coming farther into the kitchen, he took Dietrich by the hand and led him off to the tree. “Come, let’s have a look.”

Lizzie helped her off with her wraps, taking her satchel from her, chattering all the while. The kitchen was redolent with the smells of food. “I hope you like dinner. We’re having roast beef.”

“Everything smells wonderful. I brought a few gifts, including Dietrich’s. I thought it would be more fun for him to open it here, where it was more festive.”

“What a good idea. Why don’t you go on into the parlor? I’ll be right there as soon as I check on the roast. I didn’t see you in church.”

“We went to one in town.” Mara asked her about the sermon, using the pretext to linger in the kitchen, afraid now that she was here to face Gideon.

When the two of them finally entered the parlor, Dietrich’s countenance was wreathed in smiles. He hurled himself toward her, showing her the wooden horse he’d received. “There are more presents, but Mr. Jakeman said we have to wait for you and Lizzie.”

Mara made the appropriate praise over the horse and the Christmas tree, all the while conscious of Gideon’s gaze on her. He excused himself to see to her horse as Lizzie ushered her to the settee once more.

When he returned, he distributed the gifts, placing hers beside her.

Mara was hesitant to open them, preferring to watch Dietrich open his. They’d also gotten him a little hoe and rake, to “help in the garden next spring,” as Gideon told him, an orange, peppermint stick and a small wooden wagon to go with the horse. Mara had bought him a picture book.

She felt ashamed of her poor offering for the Jakemans, and thought she’d need to speak to Gideon afterward about giving Dietrich too many gifts.

She watched Lizzie open the small packet of hair combs. “Oh, thank you, Mrs. Keller, they’re so pretty. You’ll have to help me arrange them in this frizz of mine.”