Honey Whiskey (A Bastards MC Novel) (9 page)

It wasn’t one of the gentle sweet
kisses that she loved, it was rough and full of emotion. After a
few seconds, I felt her lose control as she tangled her hands in my
hair and moan into me. There wasn’t anything sexier than her
reactions when I kissed her. I pulled away, my teeth tugging at her
bottom lip. Jesus I wanted her. Instead of tossing her onto the bed
and proving to her just how much I missed her, I ran my hands down
her arms and twined my fingers with hers.

“
Wanna go get coffee?”

She arched a perfectly groomed
eyebrow and then glanced down at her wrinkled tee shirt, shorts,
and bare feet. “Can’t we have coffee here?”

I shook my head. “There’s a lot of
people here, and we need to talk.”

Rocker cleared his throat,
reminding us that we definitely weren’t alone yet. “No one will
bother you in heah.”

I snapped around, glowering at
him. “I don’t fuckin’ think so.” I wanted to get her as far away
from him as I could. Turning back to Joes, I gave her the full once
over, taking in her bare arms and legs. I thought about all the
places in the apartment that we could go, but only one seemed
feasible. She wasn’t dressed for it, but if I didn’t take the
chance now, I might not get another.

I let go of her hands, grabbed her
waist, and in one fluid movement, threw her over my shoulder. She
didn’t fight me like I had assumed she would, and I couldn’t resist
slapping her perfect round ass, making her yelp. Turning, not even
glancing at Rocker, I carried her out of the room. As we made it to
the end of the hall and turned up the stairs, I swore I could hear
the prick laughing.

Unfortunately, there were people
everywhere already. Bastards and half-dressed women spilled into
the stairway and were scattered throughout the living room. A few
spoke to me, but I only grunted responses when absolutely
necessary. If anyone was surprised by the sight of me carrying a
scantily clad woman around, no one said a word. Then again, they’d
been to these parties before and had seen much worse.

I stopped by a couch long enough
to grab a blanket—Jo would need one where we were going. Prying
open the giant window with one hand, I stepped out into the night
air and eased Joe to her feet. She looked around the fire escape,
obviously surprised. We kept a wooden bench and table out here so
people could take smoke breaks if they we were on this side of the
house, and sometimes I came out here to clear my head. I closed the
window behind me, muffling the music and noise from the
party.

The temperature was warm for
April, but there was a nip in the air. I shrugged off my jacket,
holding it out to her just as a breeze blew across us and she
shivered. “Here, put this on.” She laughed as she slipped it on and
then held up the sleeves—it dwarfed her.

She walked to the bench and pulled
her knees up to her chest as she sat. I couldn’t do anything but
stare. The move made her look years younger and reminded me how
much time we’d already lost. I opened the blanket, covering her,
before dropping down beside her. “It feels like it’s been forever
since I’ve seen you.”

She nodded. “It has
been.”

I slipped an arm around her
shoulders, pulling her close. I stared at the skyline, not sure
what to say, not sure how we got so screwed up. Just last year we’d
been inseparable, together whenever we could find the time. So much
had changed since then, and I missed her more than words could
explain. I reached out, brushing a few flyaway strands of bright
pink behind her ear. “This is new.”

She gave me a tight smile. “Yep. I
needed a change, something that wasn’t…”

“Expected,” I
interrupted, nodding. “Something different, something you never
would have done before, right?” She didn’t have to answer because I
knew that was exactly why she’d done it. “You always said you
wanted pink and blue hair,” I chuckled, remembering all the times
she told me she was going to shave her head and dye it blue. “If
I’d known it would look so fucking hot, I would’ve begged you to
dye it months ago.”

She laughed and smiled in that
slow sexy way I adored. My dick hardened in response. “Well, thank
you. But, I’m dying it back to the mundane brown
tomorrow.”

“
Why?”

“Because I’m too old to pull it
off. I need to find a part-time job and I’m pretty sure this won’t
help. And, Cris hates it.”

Her reasons surprised me. Jo’d
never been one to care what other people thought. “You’re not too
old, in fact, I think you rock it better than someone half your age
could. It’s sexy as fuck on you. Any job where you can’t have your
hair the color you want isn’t worth your time or energy. As for
Cris, she really doesn’t like it?” Jo shook her head. “Wow. Seems
like something she’d love. Didn’t she give you pink hair last
year?”

“I know, right?” She giggled,
rolling her eyes.

“
Her opinion doesn’t matter. It
isn’t like you’re gonna see her all the time.”

The smile disappeared, and, in
seconds, my Joes was gone. She sighed, turning her head away from
me, and I knew by the way her hands were fidgeting with the blanket
that her mind was on overdrive. “I will see her all the time,
Matty, because I live here now. I quit my job, enrolled in a grad
program, and Rocker offered me the extra room so I could save on
rent.” Her words came out in a hurried whisper, and she glanced at
me, wringing her hands. “I was going to tell you a few weeks ago,
really, but I just didn’t know how and now…”

“I know, Joes.” She looked
terrified, and I reached for her, wanting to do anything to take
that fear away.

“Wait.” She narrowed her eyes,
pulling back from my touch. “What? How’d you know?”

I smirked at her tone. She was
like a tidal wave of emotion—from worried to pissed in point five
seconds flat. “I have my sources.”

“
And you’re not
angry?” Her cold tone sent off warning bells, and I needed to
figure out a way to backtrack.

I didn’t answer right away. I
wanted to be honest, but I didn’t want her to leave. “I’m irritated
that you didn’t tell. I mean, fuck, we’ve been talking for weeks
and there were plenty of times you could have. So, yeah, I’m pissed
that you didn’t.” She watched me, eyes wary, and I rushed to
finish. “But, I’m so fucking proud of you for getting accepted into
BC. That’s a big fucking deal with some seriously tough
competition. Good job, kid!”

In that instant, I realized I
would never get enough of her. I smiled and pulled on a few pieces
of blue hair, vocalizing my thoughts. “It’ll be nice to see you
more, and I figure if I come down on the weekends I don’t have Sam,
we’ll get to do more than text. I fuckin’ miss you!”

Her entire body tensed and she
jerked back from me. She stared for a few seconds as if struggling
to understand my words. Then she jumped up and practically ran to
the edge of the porch, gripping the railing hard, taking deep
breaths. “You are so fucking unbelievable!” she snapped out as she
turned back to me.

It was my turn to
glare.
I
was unbelievable? She’d been completely dishonest with me for
God knows how long and then I find her here, with Rob, and I was
the unbelievable one? I didn’t fucking think so. I leaned back into
the cushion, hands rubbing my thighs, trying to keep my temper in
check. “Yeah.” I’d conveniently forgotten this part of her—the one
that made me want to throttle her and kiss her senseless at the
same time. “Sometimes I tell myself that there is no way in hell
you are really as frustrating as I remember, that I must have made
it up.” I forced a laugh. “Good to know I
didn’t.”

As her eyes narrowed and she stood
a little taller. I knew I was in for a fight. About fucking time.
“Oh, I’m frustrating? You know what I find frustrating? The fact
that you are suddenly fine with the idea of me living not only in
Boston, but in your apartment, even though just a few months ago
you didn’t want me within a hundred mile radius and wouldn’t even
let me come with you.”

“Are you fucking serious right
now?”

“So, let me get
this straight. Its ok for me to be here because I’m not your
girlfriend, but when I was, it wasn’t safe enough for me?”

We stared at each other for a few
minutes until I finally shook my head. “Oh, is it my turn to talk
now?” The look she gave me left no doubt that she would slap me if
I was close enough, and I almost wasn’t able to contain my laugh.
“Why are you really mad right now, Joes? Is it ‘cause you expected
me to be pissed over something stupid and I’m not? Or is it
something else entirely? Like maybe the fact that I never called
you back? I’m having a hard time figuring it out.”

I’d never seen her look so
frustrated and I almost felt I should have been easier on her.
Almost. “Who the fuck is Jessie, Matt? Does she know you’re out
here with me?”

Jesus, she was all over the
fucking map tonight—the very definition of one hot mess. But, she
was my hot mess and I’d rather have her fighting with me than
shutting me out. And, at least it seemed like we were getting
closer to the real issue. “Jealous, sweetheart?” I wasn’t able to
hold in the laugh when she growled in exasperation. “Don’t worry,
she’s Rob’s mess, not mine.”

I realized after I said it that I
was waiting for a reaction, half-expecting her to show jealousy for
the woman that shared Rocker’s bed. When the only thing that showed
on her face was relief, I felt like an ass. But I was a thankful
ass.

I loved the passion she had
when we fought, but I needed to fix us right now so I could see the
other side of that passion. “Just so you know, I never had a
problem with you being
here
, Joes! In fact, if I
remember correctly, we had one hell of a weekend in this apartment
just a few months ago. Boston was never the fucking issue. Yeah, I
told you I wanted you stay away, but I never meant I didn’t want
you here! It was me!” I slapped my chest, hoping she’d understand.
“You weren’t safe with me!”
You’re
still not safe with me!
The thought
made me sick and I forced it out of my mind.

I stood and walked towards her,
never taking my eyes of hers, even though I was sure she could see
right through me. “Will was out for blood as long as I was in the
picture. I barely had a handle on my own shit and wasn’t about to
drag you down with me. I told you that I’d do anything to protect
you, and I fucking meant it. I still do. Don’t think, not for one
fucking second, that I would let you stay here if it wasn’t
safe.”

“Where I live is none of your
business, Matty.” She tipped her head back to see me, her voice
almost sad. “We’re just friends, remember?”

I stepped into her, completely
invading her space, grabbing handfuls of hair and tipping her head
even further back so I could lean my forehead against hers. “We’ve
never been just friends, Joes,” I growled. The lust in her eyes
made me want to strip off her clothes and take her right here, not
caring who saw.

Instead, she pushed me away. “Stop
it, Matty!” I stepped back. “Fine, we’re not just friends. But, I’m
not your girlfriend, remember? You don’t have to protect me
anymore!”

I reached a hand out to cup
her cheek, half-surprised at how soft her skin was. “Yeah, I do.” I
shrugged. “I’ll protect you until the day I die, from
everything.”
Including
me
. Needing to touch her again, I
wrapped one arm around her back, yanked her into me, and then
leaned down, kissing her forehead. “You are mine, even if you don’t
realize it. I’m not moving on, no matter how much you push. I’ll be
here when you’re ready.”

She didn’t say a word as she
melted into me, letting me hold her as we stared out at the city.
This was where she belonged, in my arms, in my hometown, and sooner
than later, in my bed. I didn’t know how long I’d have with her,
especially if she was living here, but I was determined to enjoy
every single second. I never knew when my past would come back to
haunt me. At least in Maine I was able to keep it at bay. It was
only a matter of time before someone here let something slip, and
Joes left me for good. I couldn’t explain why I loved this woman so
fucking much, not even to myself, but she was my entire world. I
wasn’t strong enough to let her walk away last time, and I knew it
would be a fight next time, too. All I could do was pray it didn’t
kill me.

Chapter 9

Jo

The window opened noisily, but
Matty didn’t move, and I wondered if he’d heard it. When the
intruder cleared his throat, Matt only gripped me tighter, either
ignoring the interruption or not caring. As long as I got to stand
right here and have him hold me a few minutes longer, I didn’t care
why Matty wasn’t responding. I closed my eyes, focusing on the
heartbeat under my ear and the fingers that were massaging my
scalp. He leaned down, giving my forehead another lingering kiss.
It was such a tender gesture. Nothing was clearer to me at that
moment than the fact that I was completely in love with Matthew
Murphy and would walk through fire for him.

I tipped my head back quickly,
catching his lips before he could step back. His entire demeanor
changed. He shifted, moving his hands to cup my face. A calloused
thumb drew circles on my cheek as he deepened the kiss. My mind
wandered as I pictured his thumb touching other parts of my body. I
groaned into him, hoping he would understand that I wanted so much
more than what I was getting.