Honor & Roses (35 page)

“So you’re safe after all.”

“In the camp, yes,” Robin acknowledged. “There are others in the forest to be wary of. And travelers. For those who see me true, and try to take advantage, well, I’m quick with a blade.” She touched the hilt of her dagger at her waist.

“How old are you?”

“Fourteen. Do I seem older? Or younger?”

“I scarcely know how to think of you now,” Cecily confessed. “You’re confounding. I’d never think a girl could thrive in such a place as this.”

“But I love the Ardenwood!” Robin smiled again, and this one was bright and innocent. “I do thrive here. I love the forest in all its seasons. I know every sound, every trail. I know where food can be found, and where it’s safe to sleep for a night. I can run free and fight for myself. No knight escorts
me
from house to house. I’m my own woman.”

“You can’t live like that forever.”

“Why not?”

“Because you…can’t. You’ll grow up, if nothing else. Will you become a hermit?”

“Does this camp seem a hermitage to you? I’ve seen smaller towns!”

“That’s true enough for now. But my father intends to rejoin society. He will leave sooner or later, and you’ll be left without his protection.”

Robin’s eyes flashed—she’d thought of this already. “I’ll decide what to do when the time comes.”

“You can come with us.”

“Back to the civilized world of croft and town?” Robin laughed. “What would I want that for? I’ll stay in the woods and be wild.”

Cecily tried again. “Have you never wanted to marry? Or have children?”

“Do I look like a matron to sit by the fire with her needle?” Robin rolled her eyes. “Or to take orders from a man who thinks he can give orders simply because he’s a man? Never.”

“If you leave here, you’ll see new things, meet new people. You might fall in love,” Cecily said.

Robin laughed again. “I’ve heard songs and stories of love. No one ever acts like that in real life. Laying down their honor and their lives for another.” She shook her head, still laughing. “Or just seeing a man and knowing that he is your match…your other half, your soul’s true mate!”

“You should not mock what you don’t understand,” Cecily said stiffly. “The world is much larger than this forest. My father and Sir Alric have traveled from the border of Wales to London, and further. Alric fought with soldiers who come from even farther away. Brittany and France, and beyond. His friend Sir Octavian was born east of the midland sea! Do not presume to lecture me on everything the world holds.”

“Yes, my lady,” Robin said, her expression somewhat sullen. Then she asked, “By the way, you spoke of Sir Alric. What’s between you and him?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Cecily said. She hoped the other girl wouldn’t see her tremble.

Robin was too sharp-eyed for that. “I’ve seen how he looks at you. He loves you, doesn’t he?”

“You just said you don’t believe in love.”

“I don’t. But just because
I
know something is nonsense doesn’t stop others behaving like fools. Those songs had to come from somewhere, didn’t they? The troubadours don’t make it all up from whole cloth.”

“I… I…” Cecily had no idea what to say.

“It makes sense,” Robin went on. “You’re a beautiful lady, and he’s sworn to serve you. Of course he’d have his head turned by you. You’re just like the stories the minstrels sing, all gold and pink and perfect manners. But he hasn’t got a chance, has he?”

“Has he…what?” Cecily echoed, feeling faint.

“To marry you.
If
that’s what he wants,” Robin added. “Men might say they want to marry, but that’s only to get a woman to lay with them. Once that’s accomplished, they lose interest…”

“Please stop!” Cecily said. “I beg you to stop.”

“I’m talking improper. See?” Robin said, blessedly misunderstanding the reason for Cecily’s mortification. “You
are
an ideal lady. You haven’t even thought about it, have you? Ladies know nothing of rutting. Well, beware of him, either way. It’s your life he’ll ruin, even if his intentions are honorable.”

“Robin, you are not to speak of this again. Not to anyone. I don’t care if you dress as a girl or a boy, but either way, you should learn to hold your tongue.”

“As you say, my lady.” Robin nodded, but there was a gleam in her eyes.

She seemed to think she’d got the better of the argument. The impudent wretch certainly destroyed her peace of mind. When Robin excused herself, saying she needed to go on watch soon, Cecily made no move to stop her.

Cecily wandered around the camp for a while. She had to be alone to think. Robin’s words might have been innocent enough, but they set her mind into a tumult.

If his intentions are honorable
.

Alric’s intentions were honorable, Cecily reminded herself. Robin knew nothing about him—he wasn’t like some men. Alric didn’t know how to be dishonorable. True, their marriage had no witnesses. Had she made a mistake in giving herself to him so hastily, counting only on his assurance that their secret marriage was valid and true? If she spoke up, would he verify her words? He had to. On her own, Cecily could not prove that Alric was her husband. Even her non-virginal state was no guarantee. If he wanted to do so, Alric could simply deny he was the man who deflowered her. She’d be ruined, and alone.

Meanwhile, Alric would simply go on as before. No shame would follow him. Rumors, perhaps, but nothing worse.

She reminded herself that she was worrying over nothing. Alric
loved
her. He said so. But…

Only when it was dark.

Only when they were alone.

Only when they were lost in desire.

“He loves me,” she told herself. It was just that he could not say so publicly. Not yet. She herself told him so, and he understood her reasons.

So why did she feel so afraid?

What meaning did a marriage have if it must be kept secret?

The next morning, Cecily rose early and made her way to the building her father held as his own. The guard let her in right away, even offering an awkward bow.

“Your father is inside now, my lady,” he stammered. “They’ve already broken their fast. They’re talking, him and his council.”

She smiled and thanked him, then went inside.

It was much the same as before. The light was a bit better because two shutters were flung wide on the east face. But the air was still smoky, not that it mattered to the small clutch of men gathered around the table in the center, arguing in low tones.

“My lord?” she asked hesitantly. “Father?”

Rainald looked up, startled at the interruption.

“Cecily!” He smiled at her, but soon looked back to the low table, where he and his men were arranging some rough map. “Glad I am to see your face, but we are planning the best route back to Cleobury, and I must not be distracted. I’ll summon you later.”

“My lord,” Cecily pressed, “it cannot wait.”

“Cecily, I have spoken.”

“Trust me, I would not interrupt you save for something you need to know!”

He looked up at her again, his brow furrowing. “What has occurred? Something to prevent our return?”

“Quite possibly. But I must tell you in private.”

He motioned for the other men to leave. They filed out, eyeing her covertly as they went.

Rainald studied her face for a long moment. “I have been cheated of years of your company, child, so I can’t read your face as a father should be able to. Yet I do see you’re in distress. Speak to me.”

“You will not find it pleasant hearing,” she warned, her voice breaking slightly. “I fear I’ll lose whatever regard you hold me in.”

“My daughter,” he said, now worried. “How can that be?”

“Because,” she said miserably, “from the moment we were reunited, I have lied to you.”

Now that he was without
a squire again, since Edmund had ridden off in Cecily’s gold cape, Alric had to maintain all his equipment himself. He didn’t mind—he found the process quieting.

On this morning, he removed rust spots from his chain mail. Even with diligent oiling, damp snuck in and took its toll. He sharpened his sword blade, too, grateful that Robin’s companions hadn’t abandoned it.

He had need of a quiet mind. From the moment he and Cecily entered this camp, he felt as if he was in the presence of an enemy. Rainald was a gracious host for now, but if he discovered the truth of Alric’s and Cecily’s relationship…

Not if.
When.
It was inevitable. Cecily could not be married off to another because she was already bound to him. The question was merely when she would confide the truth to her father. Alric understood her reluctance, even as he resented it. He didn’t want Cecily to be ashamed of him. Yet she must have misgivings, or she’d not have hidden their marriage from her father.

If he’d waited one more day…

But he hadn’t. And he was going to be punished for his audacity.

“Sir Alric?”

He looked over his shoulder to see one of Rainald’s men standing there. Alric had either been so lost in thought that he missed the footsteps, or the man was uncommonly soft-footed.

“Yes?” he said.

“Rainald asks for you.”

Alric stood, his muscles tensing as they did before a battle. “Did he say for what reason?” he asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

“I know not, sir. But he and his men have been plotting a route south to the lord’s manor all morning.”

“Ah.” Alric relaxed slightly. Rainald must only want information about the way back. “I’ll go to him as soon as I’ve put away my weapon.”

When Alric stepped into the room where Rainald held court, he stopped in surprise. Only Rainald and Cecily stood there, both looking at each other with fire in their eyes.

Alric’s heart sank.

“My lord?” he asked Rainald.

“Alric!” Cecily turned and ran toward Alric when she saw him.

“Stay here, Cecily,” her father ordered sharply.

Cecily hesitated, torn between them. Then she said to her father, “No. I’ll stand by my husband.”

Alric sighed as Cecily came up to him, embracing him with a passion she’d never before shown in front of another person.

He held her in his arms, happy he could do so, even if it meant everything was over. “You told him, then?”

“Yes,” said Cecily.

Alric swept a lock of hair behind Cecily’s ear. “Good. I never wanted to deceive anyone.”

Rainald watched them both through narrowed eyes.

“So it’s true,” he said to Alric. “You confirm what she told me?”

“Since I was not present,” Alric said, holding Cecily a little tighter, “I couldn’t hear exactly what Cecily said. But if she told you that we married each other, that is truth.”

A thin sigh escaped Rainald’s lips. If he’d been hoping against hope for a different answer, he was disappointed.

“Cecily,” he said then. “Leave us. I will speak with Alric alone.”

Her face filled with alarm. “No,” she whispered.

“You may go, Cecily,” Alric said, releasing her. “I’ll find you after.”

“Please,” she whispered.

Alric smiled wryly. Did she think Rainald was going to murder him? And if he intended to, could Alric blame him?

When she was gone, Rainald settled his gaze on Alric. There was no warmth in it.

“My lord,” Alric began, hoping to explain.

He was stopped merely by Rainald holding up one hand. Another reminder of how unequal the two men were.

“So you are my son-in-law,” Rainald said flatly.

“Cecily should have waited till I was here to announce that,” Alric said.

“Why?”

“I wanted to be with her. She didn’t know how you would take the news.”

“Indeed!” Something like a laugh burst from Rainald.

Alric waited, his heart pounding. He knew the lord in front of him was about ready to burst with anger.

It wasn’t long in coming. Rainald began calmly enough, though his words were laced with passion. “Why the secrecy?”

“My lord, Cecily hardly knows you now. She was uncertain how…”

“Not to me,” Rainald said. “Why did you marry in secret, in haste? Why not find a priest?”

Alric swallowed, his throat painfully dry.
Because I could not wait
.

He said, “My lord, if we had known Cecily had family living, we would have done everything differently…”

“Was it a ruse?” Rainald cut in. “Did you not intend to ask for her hand? Did you only seek to ruin her for a few nights of pleasure because you had her in your power? Would you then discard her?”

Furious, Alric stepped up to the older man. “Of course not. I don’t ever plan on letting her go!”

“Ah, so you do intend to keep her. The heiress to the de Vere name, and all her lands as a prize—”

“Don’t speak of her like that!” Alric wanted to hit the man. “I wish she had no lands. If she weren’t so high above me, I would have offered for her long ago. But even if I’ll be punished for taking such a lady, I would rather die than leave her alone.”

Rainald was unmoved by Alric’s heated tone. “For all your courtly words, you still acted without leave or approval. Why did you not make your intentions clear earlier, if you felt so strongly?”