Hooked (16 page)

"Oh, are you gonna hit me Alex? Huh? Haul off and clock your old man real good now that you think you're man enough to stand up to me? You wanna give it a go? You remember what happened the last time you did that shit."

"Yeah, I remember...I remember I made that mistake once and almost paid for it with my fucking life. And I also remember I promised myself a long time ago that I'd never end up like you. I can only hope Damon doesn't either."

"I just hope he doesn't end up like
you
."

Lex pushes out a disbelieving laugh at his father's response before nodding slowly, biting at the inside of his cheek in contemplation before narrowing his eyes, responding sternly and with intent.

"Does it make you nervous, Erik? Does it make you wonder why Damon left home? Surely he's not miserable...surely you don't treat him the way you treated me for years and years. Huh?" He waits a beat before continuing, smiling sinisterly as he sees that he's rendered his father speechless. "...No? I didn't think so. I know Mom doesn't have to make him wear pants and long sleeves to school to cover up bruises. No...because you love him, right? Do you love him too much, Erik? I know I left home because you almost killed my ass, but what about Damon? Are you smothering him? Is that why he ran off? Loving him enough to make up for how much you hated me...does it help you sleep at night you son of a–"

Lex hears the crack of skin on skin before he feels the throb in his cheek that makes his eyes water and the warm wetness inching down from his nose that he recognizes immediately as his own blood. He draws the back of his hand across his upper lip and nods slightly when he sees the crimson red liquid, suddenly replaying childhood scenarios in his head like a movie reel of slap after slap of his father's hands, rendering blood and tears for so many years of his life.

Usually no man hits Lex without getting the shit kicked out of them, but he takes this paternal assault without so much as a flinch, because that's what he's always done with his father. That's what he's learned to do. Just be a man and take it. He knows what happened the last time he fought back.

He laughs low and sadistic, his voice gruff and barely above a whisper as he eyes his father with disgust. "I guess some things just never change."

Without another word he climbs back into his truck and tears out of the driveway and onto the street, suddenly remembering the last time he left this house without so much as a glance in the rearview mirror, his mother standing in the driveway crying, but today she's not there...and he's the one crying. Crying in frustration and confusion because perhaps he thought that maybe, just maybe after these years had passed his father would have something in his heart for him besides hate.

Finally pulling into his driveway, Lex breathes a shaky sigh and wipes at his tearstained face as he turns off his truck, and another wave of emotions hits him as he suddenly doesn't want to go inside his house. He's so tired of being alone even when there are people bustling in and out every single day. He still feels so, so alone, especially now with all this talk of house and home and family. Family is supposed to love you unconditionally, but Lex wouldn't know unconditional love if his life depended on it...and right now he feels like his life does depend on it.

The closest thing he's ever had to love is gone...he pushed it away, and now he needs it, he needs it so much when he's all alone and dealing with so many nightmares chasing him down. This isn't his home anymore, not when he's alone. Home is where your heart is and his heart...is in rehab. His heart is moving on, and his real heart...it's shattered. He's empty, empty and alone and that's the way he's going to stay if he doesn't change his life, but now his life...it just has no fucking meaning anymore.

He sniffles and wipes at his nose as he reaches into his back pocket for his wallet, pulling out the tiny paper angel between his shaking fingers, and he chokes down a sob as he remembers that moment...that moment when he felt so alive and loved and content and he had hope for once...and now it's gone. It's gone because he ruined it, he threw it away, the only thing he had left that made him want to brave this terrible world and keep pushing even when life gets so, so hard.

A tear hits the paper, causing the ink to bleed, to bleed like his fucking heart is bleeding as fear rises in him but he knows he needs to do it. He needs to do something,
anything
to make this terrible pain go away because he just can't bear it, and he needs it...he needs that angel...

Because only an angel could save him from what he wants to do tonight.

_______________________________________________________________

I knock excitedly on his door. I know it's kinda early in the morning, and I shouldn't be coming back to the house,
this
house of all fucking places so soon after I've been released. God, I've only been out for one day and I know this is a mistake but I just want to see him already.

I knock again. I wait and wait and he doesn't answer the door. His truck is in the driveway...maybe one of the boys came to pick him up. But it's a little early for him to be out on a run already. I've been trying to call all morning and he hasn't answered his phone and normally I would just leave him the fuck alone but something inside that I can't shake is telling me that I need to come see him.

I try to call his phone one more time.

Nothing.

I knock once more, my heel tapping against the concrete walkway impatiently. I know after the fight just a few days ago he probably doesn't want to see me, but I need to talk to him to make sure he's ok because I don't think he is. I know him well enough to know that something's wrong. I have to see him. If he would just answer the fucking door.

After a few minutes I turn the door knob, expecting it to be locked, and my eyes widen a little in surprise when I feel that it isn't. Lex
always
locks the door. I start to get a little nervous.

I push it open slowly. No lights are on in the house and there is an eerie silence despite the fact that the TV is playing in the living room. Breaking Bad reruns.

"Lex..." I call out softly, cautiously as I push the door closed and lock it. I step slowly through the house, surveying the room carefully, thoroughly, half-expecting to see him passed out asleep on the couch or something. But he's nowhere in sight.

"Lex..." I call a little louder, peering down the hall toward his bedroom. The door is standing wide open. Paranoia takes over me and I find myself stepping faster down the hall, more desperate in my search for him. An unnerving feeling consumes me. "Lex, are you in here?" Maybe he's in the shower.

But I don't hear the shower running as I step into the bedroom. The door to his adjoining bathroom is open just barely, soft light escaping through the crack in the door.

I push it open and the sight before me immediately sends me to my knees with my hands over my mouth as I choke out a sob in terror. I'm paralyzed, literally pulled down to the floor like a fucking iron flake to a magnet. No, no this can't be happening..

He's not moving.

Sitting on the floor, long legs sprawled haphazardly before him, his head is back against the bathtub, eyes closed. His face is drenched in blood from the nose down, spreading deep red across his lips and down his chin and neck, soaking into the neckband of his gray t-shirt. The small square mirror he uses to snort lines is broken into three pieces on the floor, his razor and straw sitting close by. He must've dropped it.

Two blood-stained syringes rest empty at his feet, his arm boasting a track fit for an Olympic runner and there's blood on his fingers and vomit in the bathtub. It's a fucking scene straight out of CSI. You only see shit like this on movies and TV.

Overdose
.

The word snaps me back into the present suddenly, my dread-stricken mind previously trapped in some other realm of the universe. Am I dreaming? Is this some fucked up nightmare?

"Lex!!"

I scream out his name through my sobs, crawling across the floor toward his limp form, fisting his shirt in my hands while I climb onto his lap, shaking him violently as I feel the fear rising in me. A sanity-consuming fear. Fear like I've never felt before.

To be continued...

A short chapter I wrote inspired by a power outage that happened in my apartment building. Everything's gotten so serious in this story that I decided to make this part a little lighthearted. I'm guessing this takes place sometime in the past before the whole book even started. Mind you, this is a
STANDALONE CHAPTER,
it really has nothing to do with the rest of the story.

I've been slowly nodding off during the movie, which makes sense because even though it's only a little after 9PM, I've had to work all fucking day. I'm sitting up in bed next to him, leaning on his shoulder a bit, but my eyes keep fluttering shut. He jumps a bit during an action scene and I jerk my head up off his shoulder, gasping a little, and he looks over at me, laughing softly.

I feel his hand rest on my thigh, his palm smooth and wide, his skin radiating heat through the denim covering my legs, and I take my bottom lip in between my teeth, smiling a bit. It's rare that the two of us watch a movie without him ending up on top of me. Or underneath me. Or behind me. I bend my knee up a little so that his hand falls to my inner thigh, sliding down, his fingers almost reaching right where I want them to be.

And the lamp beside the bed flickers.

Flicker.

Flicker.

Flicker.

Darkness.

The TV, the lamp, the ceiling fan, the A/C...all off.

I freeze for a moment, Lex's hand still on my leg. It's dark. Not even the kind of dark where you can still make out figures in the room. No, it's darker than that. I feel like I'm blind.

"Well, shit..." I hear his voice beside me suddenly and I jump, forgetting how close he was sitting.

"Fuck, it's dark..." I'm whispering just because I'm intimidated by the stillness of the room.

"Nah, it's cool." But as soon as he says it, the front door wiggles a bit, clicking, and of course I fucking lose it. I know that when the pressure changes in the hallway it makes the door jiggle, it's been that way ever since I moved in, but in the dark it freaks me the fuck out.

I whine a little, putting my face in his neck, clutching his arm. "Did you hear that?"

But he just laughs. "Shut up, it was just the door. Go find a light."

"Lex...it's really dark...I'm kinda scared." I laugh at myself when I say it and slowly roll out of my bed in search of a flashlight.

I blindly feel my way to the kitchen, knowing my apartment layout well enough to not run into any walls, and I reach into the cabinet under the sink, feeling for the large metal handle of the Maglite that I know is hiding somewhere. I finally feel my fingers around it, pulling it from the cabinet and pushing the soft rubber button, illuminating the kitchen with a beam of light.

"I just looked out the window and it looks like everybody is 'lights out' around here...hey, you found it." Lex emerges from the bedroom and I shine the light in his blue eyes playfully, making him throw a hand up to shield himself, squinting a little. "Stop, you jerk," he teases, rushing to grab me around the waist roughly with a laugh.

"Do you think it's the whole building, or should you check the breaker box?"

"I like how you said 'should
you
check the box'...not really giving me an option."

I laugh. "Well, you're the
guy
...you know about that shit."

"I'm not a fucking electrician." And I pout a bit, and he groans. "Fine...I'll look."

I point the flashlight in the direction of the utility room where the washer and dryer are, and he follows the path, opening the door to the small room and feeling along the wall for the box until I bring the light into the room to assist his vision. He flips the lid open, staring blankly at the wires and switches inside as I squeeze behind him to shine the flashlight directly over his shoulder, my hips pinned between his ass and the washing machine.

He finally laughs, looking at me over his shoulder. "I have no fucking clue what I'm looking at." And we both laugh. "Hey, it's a little cozy in here, huh?" he teases, pushing back at me with his ass, shoving me gently back into the washing machine, and I groan a little.

"Lex, stop!" And he does it again, just to spite me. "Stop, dammit!" But I'm laughing and wrestling with him a bit. I finally reach around between his legs and he doubles over, lifting a knee to protect his goods, and when he leans forward a bit I quickly escape.

"Asshole!" He chases me back through the kitchen and into the living room, flashlight beam playing on the wall as I run from him, squealing a little. I fall onto the couch and pull my knees up to my chest in defense, and he reaches out, grabbing at me, teeth gritted, but a smile playing on his lips. He suddenly snatches the flashlight from my hand, pressing the button before quickly tossing it aside.

Darkness. Complete fucking darkness.

I feel his hands slip off of me, and my eyes dart around the room, opening wide, hoping I might inherit night vision because I can't see shit now. I know he's still in the room, but I'm not sure where, and if I know Lex like I think I do, I know he's planning an attack, just to scare the shit out of me.

"Hey..."

I hear his voice, low and quiet, but I'm not completely sure which direction it came from. I wait, eyes still wide, looking around but I can't see a fucking thing, and I laugh a little thinking about what I must look like right now.

"C'mere..." His voice is a little louder now, and I stand up slowly off the couch, stepping cautiously out into the room, and we both snicker a little at all of the tense silence. I follow the direction of the sound. "Over here..."

And I'm walking quicker now, hoping to close the space between the two of us before he moves, because that's something he would do. He likes to tease.

"Where are you?" I reach out blindly for him and my hands bump his chest, now shirtless under my fingers. "Are you just running around taking your clothes off or what?"

He laughs. My hands feel their way down his torso to the waistband of his jeans and I only know his face is lingering close to mine because I can feel his breath warm across my cheek. I jump a little when his hands grab at my ass, because I couldn't see him sneaking them around my body.

"It's so weird when I can't see you."

"I think it's hot," he says it right against my cheek and I kiss his mouth hungrily, lots of lip and even more tongue. I pull away slowly, his full bottom lip between my teeth, and he groans when my hands leave his body, blindly grabbing for me, but I slip away and cross the room quickly, removing my t-shirt and bra along the way.

This could be a fun game.

"Lex..." I whisper into the darkness and I hear rustling across the room where the two of us were standing before and I know he's moving out into the room to find me. I can't hear his footsteps in the carpet, but I can hear him breathing, just barely, his jeans rustling as his legs pass one another in stride, my senses heightened because of my loss of sight.

I giggle a little in anticipation, my back against the wall, just waiting. Hearing his hands thump against the wall close to me, I moan a little, teasing him, just giving him enough sound to follow.

I suddenly feel a strong hand grasp my thigh, still clad in my jeans, and it travels up and up and I hear him groan low in his throat when that hand brushes against the bare flesh of my belly and up to my breasts. "Damn, girl." And I know he wasn't expecting me to be half-naked.

He stands in front of me, hips pressed into mine and I feel that he's started to get hard as he takes my breasts in his hands, rolling his thumbs over my nipples, pinching them to make them stand on end. I'm still pissed because I can't see a damn thing and I usually love to watch his face as he plays with my body, but it's almost better when I can't see him because everything is unexpected.

A moan slides out over my lips as I feel his mouth on me suddenly, his lips closed to one of my breasts, tongue sneaking out to circle the peak slow and lazy while his hand massages the other. I grab at his face, pulling it up to mine and his mouth surges against me as his hands grope my breasts again, pushing me harder against the wall. I groan as his hips buck strong against me, his rigid dick pleading for me through his jeans.

"Let's fuck," I breathe out the words, begging against his mouth, but he pulls away suddenly, leaving me frustrated. "I'm tired of this fucking game now," I call out into the room and I hear him chuckling softly. It's been a while since the power went out and it's starting to get hot in my apartment, which irritates me slightly, but mostly I'm just pissed because I want a good, hard fuck and he wants to play naked hide and seek...or whatever the fuck this is.

"You better come find me then..." His voice is playful, and it pisses me off. He's loving this, getting me all hot and bothered and then disappearing. He's such a fucking tease anyway, but tonight beats anything he's ever pulled. I suddenly wonder where that stupid flashlight is.

"Where are you, Lex?" I step away from the wall a bit.

"I dunno...but wherever I am...I'm buck ass naked."

I almost groan when he says it. I know what that body looks like, and even in the dark I can see it in my mind. I flood hot between my thighs in anticipation of just getting my hands on him.

"Are you hard?" But I already know that he is, I just want to get a little pleasure out of this teasing-talk that he's started. I step further out into the room, reaching down to unbutton my jeans, tugging the zipper down slow.

He moans a little before answering, "I'm fucking rock solid for you." And I feel my cheeks flush, not sure if it's from the absence of A/C or from the burning deep in my stomach, aching with lust for him.

My voice wavers a bit, "Where are you?"

"Over here..."

But his voice is somewhere else now, and I stop suddenly. He's really got me going now.

"You better come find me...you won't be able to walk tomorrow when I'm done with you."

My breath hitches in my throat. It's so fucking hot in my apartment now, I'm sure it's been almost an hour since the electricity shut off, and there's no way in hell I can cool off now being so turned on like this. I moan a little in frustration, tugging my jeans down my hips and stepping out of them when they pool at my feet, walking further into the room, straining my ears for any indication to where he might be.

"Sure is taking you a long time to find me, baby. I'm getting kinda lonely, playing with my dick and shit." He laughs a little when he says it, and I try to picture him in my mind, fingers tight around his shaft, licking his lips as he strokes it slow and steady, just waiting for me.

"Lex, stop fucking teasing me!" I'm panting a little now as I pace in the room, pussy soaked and aching, screaming at me to hurry and find him so he can fuck me just the way I like it.

"Oh this isn't teasing. Teasing would be sliding this big dick inside you, fucking you good and hard...and pulling out right before you cum. And just leaving you there in the dark, all hot and shit, not even letting you get off..." His voice is moving as he talks, and I know he's circling in the room, keeping me guessing, making me wait. I try to follow his voice, but everytime I get near, he's somewhere else. I fucking hate him right now, but I love it because I know we'll both be so turned on by the time I touch him, he'll take me right there, wherever I'm standing.

"Fuck, Lex..." I'm starting to sweat, my skin barely starting to feel damp, and I run a hand down my neck, swallowing hard.

"Are you naked?"

I pause for a moment and quickly hook my thumbs into the waistband of my thong, pushing it down to the floor. "I am now."

He laughs softly. "Good. Damn, I can fucking picture you in my mind. You wanna fuck me, don't you?"

"You know I do."

"Tell me you want to...I wanna hear you say it."

I pause for a moment, trying to catch my breath, still trying to follow his voice, my hands sweating and trembling slightly, seeking him out. God, if I could just get my hands on him...

"Say it." His voice has escaped me again, and I sigh loud, moaning in frustration, my palm slapping into the wall where I ended up in my desperate search for him.

"God dammit Lex!"

He chuckles softly. "Say it. Say you wanna fuck me."

"I wanna fuck you," I answer him immediately, choking out the words.

"How bad?" His voice is low and thick. He's teasing the shit out of me, on purpose.

I groan low in my chest, aching so badly between my thighs I almost want to reach down and touch myself. "Fuck, Lex...I can't wait much longer. I need it. I want you to fuck me all night, pound my pussy until I fucking beg you to stop, and you better give me everything you've got. I better not walk right for days..." And I hear him groan at my response.

"Get on the couch." That's all he says.

I almost sprint across the room, my knees shaking with expectancy, my breathing already a bit labored, still sweating from the heat in my apartment. I sink down into the plush fabric and wait, heart thumping out of my chest. I'm sure he can hear it across the room.

“Where the fuck are you?" My tone is impatient, your my thick with irritation, and as soon as I say the words I feel his hands sink into the back of the couch on either side of my shoulders, and I gasp.

"Right here." I feel his breath across my face as he whispers, and I swallow hard. I feel his knees sink into the cushions on either side of my thighs and my hand rushes out to grip him eagerly, both of us moaning in unison. He's so thick and hard in my palm and I moan again just imagining how he's going to feel inside of me, slamming into me over and over, pounding me into a frenzied state until I'm pleading, begging him to stop because I can't take anymore.

"Stroke it, baby...c'mon." His voice is thin and breathy against my ear; he's impatient because I've just been holding him, lost in my fantasy.

But I release him, sliding out from under his body to lay out flat on the couch. He growls low in his chest, positioning himself over me once again, cursing when he sinks his weight down against me and he feels that I've already opened my legs for him. I want this. I fucking want it bad.