Hooking Up : Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus (10 page)

Jen, a junior at State University, had this to say:
Jen
: I think this school has a lot of pretty girls in it and I do think that’s a factor [in understanding male/female interaction on campus]. Because I’ve been to visit other schools where it’s not like that and the guy ratio is stronger. It’s different.

KB
: So there are less guys here is that what you mean by guy ratio?

Jen
: Hmm-mm. Yeah . . . I just think there are so many pretty girls and that’s really not, I don’t think too common . . . because there are too many options for these guys. You know?

They’re not anything that special and they are probably getting to hang out with and having such beautiful girls be so into them . . . I think that it’s just great for [men on campus].

They come here and it’s just like wherever they turn there’s

[another girl] and the girls are willing, too.

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KB
: Willing to what?

Jen
: Just hook up with them, you know . . . if the situation was reversed and this schooll. . . overwhelmingly had awesome looking guys and you know the girls were kind of just all right . . . it would just be in the reverse, I think.

The benefits of having more women than men on campus did not escape several of the male students either. Kyle, a senior at State University, mentions what happens when male friends, particularly friends from the Naval Academy, come to campus for a visit and see how many girls are available. “I don’t think every school is like State. . . . I have two friends that go to the Naval Academy. They love coming here; it is like Christmas for them. They are like ‘I can’t believe [it]. This is great!
I
would pay to go to school for this
’ because [school] is free for them” [emphasis by interviewee].

Men from Faith University also recognized that the male/female ratio on campus worked to their advantage. Kevin, a senior at Faith, suggests that there is no point wasting a lot of time on one girl: “My attitude is that there are so many girls out there it does not even matter

[which one you go after for a hookup]. You can’t go psycho over girls, there are just too many of them out there.” Both men and women recognized that men could use the sex ratio on campus to their advantage. While men enjoyed the benefits of the surplus of attractive women on campus, the women expressed dis-pleasure over the opportunity men have to easily find new hookup partners or keep relationships with existing partners casual.

COLLEGE LIFE MAKES HOOKING UP EASY

The hookup system is sustained on campuses because aspects of college life make it simple. One factor that makes hooking up easy is the admissions process. Generally, the college one attends reflects one’s social class. At the two universities included in this study, the students are primarily drawn from middle- and upper-middle-class households. There are very few students at either university who would be classified as children of working-class or poor parents. In addition to social class, students at these universities have other important similarities: the overwhelming majority of students on both campuses are white; and, at T H E H O O K U P S C E N E

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Faith University, most students are Catholic and many attended private or parochial high schools. Thus, students at both universities are surrounded by people like themselves. It is well documented that individuals tend to match for potential romantic relationships with people that are similar to themselves in terms of race, age, religion, and social class.14 This fundamental, although often taken-for-granted fact of life on campus creates an environment where hooking up is more likely.

Students can choose hookup partners from a sea of eligible classmates.

Despite the obvious similarities among the student body, on college campuses containing thousands of people, most are strangers to one another. However, students do not
seem
like strangers to each other because they have so much in common—at least they have enough in common to be at the same college in the first place. Students also do not feel like strangers because many of them share friends; so when socializing, a friend is generally there to vouch for any person of interest. The point is that this atmosphere of trust and familiarity makes hooking up easier. Without such an air of familiarity, the hookup system would likely break down.

Another aspect of life on campus that contributes to the hookup culture is the proximity of college men and women to one another. Students living on campus reside in dorms and houses filled with fellow students. Even those who live off-campus are often in apartments or houses near many other students.15 There are very few restrictions currently on college campuses to keep men and women from having access to one another to engage in hooking up. When asked whether there were any campus policies in place that made it difficult to bring someone home for a hookup, most students suggested that this was no problem whatsoever. However, Jack, a sophomore, mentioned that Faith University does have a policy forbidding sexual intercourse in campus housing.

KB
: Do you think the fact that [Faith University] is Catholic makes any difference regarding [sexual interaction on campus]?

Jack
: The only thing I could say about that is the “no penetration” rule in the dorms, that’s the only thing I can see that would make any other school different.

KB
: What’s the “no penetration” rule? I never heard of that.

Jack
: Apparently you’re not allowed to have sex on campus; if you do you’re thrown out of school.

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KB
: Is that right? Has that ever happened to anyone? How would anyone know if you did [have sex] or not?

Jack
: An RA walking down the hall hears a girl moaning in her room or hears the bed banging against the wall or your next door neighbor calls security, anything.

KB
: Is that something people are worried about, that they are going to get caught? Do people not have sex in the dorms because of that?

Jack
: No, they definitely do, they are just a little more careful. It’s not announced as much. If you live off campus, it’s like:

“Who did you bring home last night, I heard the wall shak-ing?” It’s just kind of understood, on campus is definitely tougher.

Thus, there are no campus policies, at least none that were strictly en-forced, that keep college students from having easy “late night” access to one another.

Since many residence halls and off-campus housing are within walking distance of a bar, party, or other social event that college students attend, students can go to one another’s residence to hook up without violating the taboo of getting in a car with a stranger. Students also generally travel in groups; therefore, a friend is never far away. If a college woman wants to get away from a college man who is trying to hook up with her, she can often rely on her friends to help her out of a difficult situation. Many of the college women I interviewed spoke of

“safety in numbers” and “keeping an eye on one another” to help avoid potentially dangerous situations with men. In some cases, a specific woman would be asked to stay sober for the evening to make sure

“nothing bad happened” to any of her friends who were drinking alcohol. Living in close proximity to fellow classmates often makes students, especially women, feel safe engaging in a hookup.

A final issue, which makes college campuses an environment conducive to hooking up, is the attention college students pay to what the others are doing. No doubt many college students, particularly during freshman year, are very anxious to be a part of the social scene on campus. Not many people are comfortable being an outcast, nor do they want to be labeled as different than everybody else. Therefore, one of the reasons college students follow the hookup script is likely to be their desire to fit in. The students I interviewed also said that discussing what T H E H O O K U P S C E N E

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other students were doing sexually was a common pastime. Thus, who hooked up with whom as well as how far the hookup went sexually is often a topic of conversation among college friends. As Kyle put it:

“When I am around my friends I say: ‘Did you do it?’ They say: ‘Yeah I had sex.’ . . . We are pretty candid with each other so they will clarify

[what happened sexually], unless she is ugly or something. Then they won’t tell you, because they are going to get their balls busted.” The pervasiveness of the hookup culture on campus may stem from the lack of privacy and the gossipy nature of life in college. Students are aware of what their classmates do to socialize, form relationships and engage in sexual encounters; and many may go along with hooking up because that’s the thing to do.

WHO IS HOOKING UP?

The hookup culture transcends gender, grade level, and institution. Both men and women on the college campuses I studied took part in the hookup system. Additionally, hooking up was not limited to any particular grade level, although a few students suggested that it was more prevalent freshman year. The hookup script was also not confined to one particular campus; in fact, it was pervasive on both campuses I studied.

The universities I studied had some important differences: one is a large state-sponsored university with a diverse population; the other is a smaller faith-based institution where the student body is largely Catholic. Fraternities and sororities exist on both campuses. However, Greek life was more central to the experience of students at State University. Despite the differences, hooking up is very much a part of the social landscape on both campuses. Any differences in norms for the hookup scene seemed to be related more to the size of the institution than its religious affiliation or lack thereof. In my interviews with students at Faith University, I asked whether they thought the religious affiliation of the school had any affect on hooking up on campus. Most students insisted it was completely irrelevant. Lynn, a sophomore, had the following to say:

KB
: Do you think Faith University is different in any way because of being a Catholic school?

Lynn
: No.

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KB
: So, Faith would be the same as state schools or wherever?

Lynn
: With like hooking up, yeah . . . the Catholic school part doesn’t really have [anything] to do with hooking up. Hooking up I think is across the board, it would happen at any college.

Trent, a senior, and I had a similar exchange:
KB
: Do you think male-female interaction would be the same no matter what school you went to?

Trent
: Yeah.

KB
: So, if you went to [a larger state school] or anywhere it would be the same?

Trent
: Yeah, the same thing just a different size.

KB
: Do you think there’s anything different about this school because it’s a Catholic school? Does that matter?

Trent
: Not really.

KB
: So, Catholic or public or state or whatever, the same thing?

Trent
: Yeah.

When I asked students on both campuses if they thought the way men and women interact would be the same at other colleges or if there was something unique about their campus, most indicated that they expected it would be the same. Many students mentioned that they had visited other schools to spend time with friends and found hooking up to be common among students there, too. The only difference mentioned was that some large colleges were deemed “party schools.” These schools have a reputation for heavy alcohol consumption and a party atmosphere, with many alcohol-centered social events happening each week. Colleges with this reputation tend to have not only a large student population, but also an active Greek life. Some students suggested that this atmosphere might make the hookup scene more anonymous. In other words, students can hook up and never cross paths again. At smaller institutions this outcome is not a possibility. Max, a sophomore at State University, mentions the anonymity of hooking up at a large school, “You can totally hook up with a girl here and never see her again.”

Similarly, Larry, a senior at Faith University, believed there are more anonymous “one and done” type of hookups at the larger state schools, T H E H O O K U P S C E N E

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based on his experiences visiting friends at such institutions. “I think

[large state schools] would be more random hookups. There would not be as much opportunity at [large state schools] for a long-term relationship. There are just so many people and you don’t get to know someone as close as [here at Faith University].”

Although hooking up was commonplace among the student body at both Faith and State universities, there were certain circumstances that affected one’s degree of involvement in the hookup scene, including clique and alcohol use. A student’s circle of friends, or clique, was a good predictor of how entrenched he or she was in hooking up. The students I talked with who belonged to popular groups on campus, such as fraternities/sororities and athletic teams, were more likely to be heavily involved in hooking up. Fraternity men in particular believed that finding hookup partners was very easy.16 They suggested a typical number of different hookup partners would be twenty to twenty-five during a semester when they were unattached (i.e., not in an exclusive relationship). Kyle, a senior at State University, mentions how his fraternity brothers can have sex whenever they want to, while this may not be the case for nonfraternity men on campus. “The majority of students probably don’t have sex as much as they would like to. My friends have sex, they can and they do when they want to, most nights.” The ease with which fraternity men find hookup partners is not surprising given their notorious involvement with hosting alcohol-driven parties on campus.17 Greek members are typically at the center of social life on campus; therefore, they are frequently in situations conducive to hooking up.18

For students in non-Greek friendship circles, involvement in hooking up was varied. Many students flock to fraternity parties, or other events featuring alcohol, even though they do not actually belong to a fraternity or sorority. These students seemed to have no difficulty finding a hookup partner for the evening. This point is illustrated by Trent, a senior at Faith University. Despite not belonging to a fraternity or thinking of himself as “anything special” looks-wise, Trent reports having great success finding women interested in hooking up.