Hope (17 page)

“What? What are you thinking?”

“We’re men, and like you we have feelings. We don’t talk
about our feelings often, but they’re there.” Pearce touched his chest. “You
hurt Damon’s feelings. Don’t think of him as ‘mad dog’ or any other name he’s
been given over the years.”

She listened to his words hoping there was some way for her
to make it right.

“Damon did what was necessary to survive.”

“It is so hard to process everything.”

“There are not as many people now, Princess.
 
There was a lot more to fight for back then.
It was more than a competition. It was survival. Damon had it quite
good
, but he was also up against men who couldn’t back down
no matter what. Give him the benefit of the doubt.” Pearce patted her knee.

“Were you with him back then?”

“Yes. Damon is a hard man, and I wouldn’t bet against him.
There is more to him than meets the eye.” Pearce stood up and left her alone.

She stared at the fiery red sky and then went in search of Damon.
He was walking back from the shed. His gaze stared down at the floor as he
moved.

“Hi,” she said.

He looked up. “Are you going to throw some other part of my
past at me?”

“No, I want to talk about it if you want. I was unfair
yesterday, and I’m sorry,” she said.

Damon shook his head walking into the house. Penny followed
him inside and refused to back down. He blanked her all the way to the bedroom.
She waited while he washed himself first. When he was finished, she took the
water after him.

He lay in bed staring at the ceiling when she walked out.

“What do you want to know?” he asked.

“Why did you kill those men?” She buried her head down under
the blanket. The night was cold, and no number of blankets would warm her up.

Damon turned to her, staring at her.

“You really want to know?” he asked.

“Yes, and I won’t judge. I promise you no matter what you
have to say I won’t judge you for what you did back then. I’m stupid for
thinking everything could be … good. I shouldn’t judge something I have no
understanding in. I forgot about what you did for me with those … men. I’d have
gladly seen you kill them for what they tried to do. I’m sorry.”

He stayed silent for several moments, his gaze on her at all
times.
 

“The first night I went into the ring I had no intention of
killing anyone. I was there to settle a fight. The guy from Grimes’s side came
at me. He was bigger than I was. Faster and harder than anyone I’d seen. I
didn’t stand a chance.” Damon stared past her shoulder. “His punches struck
hard, and I couldn’t see properly after the first round. Don pulled me away and
told me to take the bastard down.”

She waited as he licked his lips.

“I wasn’t going to kill him. I never wanted to kill him. The
guy had me in the corner, and I was scared. I struck out. At the time I thought
I broke his nose. He went down and didn’t make a sound. Some guys charged into
the ring. I later found out that I shattered his nose, and a bone pierced his
brain. That can happen.”

Tears were falling from his eyes.

“I was about to apologise and show my remorse. Don stopped
me. He told me to keep the kill close to my heart. I raised my hands in the
air. My face was bloodied, and I smiled at the leaders and the competitors.”

He wiped the tears from his eyes. Penny stared at him seeing
the loss and hurt it had caused.

“What happened next?” she asked.

“When the competitors came into the ring I had something to
prove. They wouldn’t back down. Everyone expected me to kill. I had no choice.
I tried to keep them all alive, and then one of them had stashed a knife. He
came at me, and I killed him. No matter what I tried to do they were determined
to only let one person leave the ring. It was a fucking nightmare.”

“That first man you killed was an accident?” she asked,
shocked.

 
Damon started
laughing. “It was more than an accident. It was pure desperation. I didn’t want
to die, and I reacted. That was all I did. I reacted and hoped to God I’d
survive.”

“What did Don say?”

“He warned about what was going to happen. He said everyone
would try to have a piece of me. I didn’t have much choice. Men I never met
would challenge me in the street. I lost count of the number of men I killed. I
never wanted to be a killer,” he said. He reached out to stroke her cheek. She
accepted his warmth. Penny had missed him last night.

“Don’t cry for me,” he said.

“I’m not crying for you. You’re not that man. You were never
that man.”

“I killed people with my hands.”

“And you’ve given me pleasure with those same hands. You
protected me with these hands. I shouldn’t have judged you, Damon. I’m so
sorry.”

He pulled her in close and kissed the top of her head.

She wanted to scream at Don and every man who had made him
kill. Damon was not a killer. She saw that now.

“Thank you,” he said.

Penny smiled, resting her head on his chest. She listened to
his heart beating inside his chest.

“My pleasure.”
She kissed
his chest and allowed all of her worries and fears to disappear.

Chapter Sixteen

“I see there is still love in paradise,” Pearce said several
days later.

Damon punched him on the arm watching Penny’s ass sway this
way and that. She’d been different around him since he’d told her the truth
about his past. The only other people who knew the truth were Don and Pearce.
Pearce had been present when he’d gotten drunk after the incident and admitted
the truth.

“We’re getting by.”

“Do you think she’s the girl to settle down with?” Pearce
asked.

He stared at his woman’s retreating figure. The attraction
between them was getting harder and harder to ignore.

“If the world wasn’t intent on destroying itself, she’d be
the one.”

“Damon, you deserve happiness. We all in our own way deserve
happiness. This world is not going to change overnight. Grab what piece of
happiness is dangling in front of you and never let go. Penny is in love with
you.”

He stared at his friend. “What?”

“A fool could see it. She’s in love with you, man.
Totally, blindly in love with you.
I bet she’s named your
children.”

Damon started laughing. The sun was high in the sky. George
was teaching Edward how best to sow certain seeds in the ground. John and One
were digging up potatoes. None of them had tried to run for it. He’d even seen
One
smile the other day. The men clearly wanted to work. It
was a sign to Damon that they could get the world prepared once again. They
just needed to work hard.

“She’s a virgin, Pearce.”

“So, are you telling me you’re not into virgins? See beyond
that extra piece of skin. It’s Penny for crying out loud. Do you want her?”

He didn’t answer. Damon handed his friend the rake and ran in
the direction she had walked. He found her in the shed kicking some planks of
wood. Her hands were raised and her body in a stance ready to fight.

Damon leaned against the door watching. She landed her fist
in the piece of wood that was resting against the wall. Penny cried out grabbing
her hand.

“Punching a plank of wood is not like punching a face,” he
said. She whirled round letting out a startled yelp.

“Damon, you shouldn’t
fuc
—
erm
, scare people like that.”

“Come on, Penny. Say fucking for me.”

She shook her head.

“Say, ‘Damon, you shouldn’t fucking scare me like that’.”

Her cheeks were bright red from embarrassment. “Is there a
reason you’re not working?” she asked with her hands on her hips. The action
thrust her chest out, highlighting her magnificent breasts.

“Should you be beating on a plank of wood? What were you
doing?”

She tucked her hair behind her ear. “If you really want to
know, I was trying to teach myself how to fight.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to rely on you all the time.”

“Oh,” he said. The happiness inside him died a little at her
words.

“No, not because I don’t want you around
me, but so you can leave me without worrying about me.
I know
you’re always worrying about me. I can’t protect myself.”

“And you think punching a plank of wood is going to help?”
he asked.

“It is better than not being prepared at all.”

He rubbed the back of his neck working out the kinks. “Then
I’ll train you.” Damon held his hands up for her to punch.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Raise your hands up as if you’re going to punch me.”

She looked so cute with her fists in the air. Penny looked
as threatening as a little poodle.

“Right, hit my hands.”

Her fist landed in his palm. There was no strength in her
punch.

“Come on, do it harder.”

She lashed out again. The force was a little harder but
nothing fantastic.

“Come on, stop being a pussy, and hit me.”

Penny hit his palms in three more hits. She held no passion
or fire to hurt.

“The point of protecting yourself is to make sure you get
away unscathed. You need to have fire in your stomach.” He pressed a hand
against her stomach.
“And a want to live inside here.”
He pressed a hand to her heart.

Damon felt her heart beating against his palm. The rapid
beats made him aware she was getting turned on by his touches. He smiled going
behind her back. Covering her eyes, he whispered against her ear.

“I want you to think about those men back at your apartment.
They held you down when you didn’t want to be. Can you imagine it?”

“Yes.”

He heard the quiver in her voice.

“If you could hurt them, what would you do?” he asked.

“Get them to stop. I’d fight until they left me alone.”

“Think about that feeling.” Damon knew he would scare her.
Sometimes practice only came with fear.
“Because you’re going
to have to fight.”

Before she could react he caught her waist and pressed her
down to the floor.

“Fight me, Penny.”

She lashed out at him. The strength inside her startled him.
He knew she’d be able to protect herself given the chance.

They fought each other until Damon pulled away.

Penny looked like she wanted to snarl.

“Why did you do that?” she asked.

“I needed to see if you had it in you to fight,” he said.
“And I see that you do.”

He loosened his grip from her arms and stroked her flesh
instead.

“You scared me.”

“You scared me. You had no power behind your hits. I didn’t
think you’d have it in you to fight. You proved me wrong when you fought me as
I attacked you. I can train you, if you want.” He ran his hands down her back
to cup her ass.

“Train me how?”

“Showing you some moves and helping you fight. I’d be
willing to do it.”

Penny leaned down to kiss him. Damon sank his fingers into
her hair locking her head close to his. He plunged his tongue into her mouth as
she let out a moan.

Damon turned her until she lay under him. Her hands gripped
his arms. He broke the kiss staring down into her eyes.

“Are you going to tease me again?” she asked.

“Does this feel like a tease?” He pressed his cock against
her core.

She gasped, and her eyes widened in shock.

“I want you, Penny. Are you prepared to give me what I
want?” he asked.

Her head jerked in a way that looked similar to a nod.

“I’m going to need you to say the words, Penny. I’ll not
touch you if you don’t want it,” he said.

“I want it. I want you, Damon. I always want you.”

She pressed her pelvis against him.

Damon stroked her cheek loving the smooth, silky skin
against his roughened fingers. “I can’t promise you perfection, Penny. I can
only give you me.”

“Then that is perfection.” Her hand moved to the back of his
head. “Now, stop talking and kiss me.”

She pulled his head down slamming his lips on hers.

Damon loved feeling her passion. Her response filled him
with joy. He’d do anything for this woman.

Pressing his pelvis against her centre, he slammed his
tongue inside her mouth, tasting her. She moaned, stroking his lips with her
own. Their kiss was wet and desperate. He moved a hand down her side, his thumb
grazing her nipple as he skimmed her body.