Hope for Her (Hope #1) (28 page)

I sat across from him in a booth near a window looking out onto the capitol grounds.

"You know, I went to school with Amanda Griffin?" he asked.

"No."

"Yeah, even met Mr. Griffin, once."

"What did you think of him?"

"He scared the shit out of me." We laughed, and I instantly warmed up to him.

He avoided the whole fraternity/sorority scene for moral reasons. He meant it as a joke, but it made me trust him more than his other credentials or his law degree from SMU. My mind was made up, but I listened.

"So, basically what Mr. Griffin offered you, Jack is entitled to. There is a formula for deciding the amount of child support and Josh's estate automatically goes to his child, but paternity has to be established, first. Once paternity is established, they would require his name to be put on the birth certificate at that time."

"But I told him I didn't want his money."

"That doesn't matter either; it's little Jackson's right. And, you know if you didn't want to make a claim now, your son could make a claim when he turned twelve, I think. I would have to check on that."

We went back and forth for an hour; me asserting my objection for one reason or another and him countering it with one good point after another.

Frustrated, Mark set his pen down, clasped his finger together, and stared at me.

“You know you would make a great lawyer.”

I smiled.

"What are you afraid of?" he asked.

I thought for a minute and shook my head.

"I don't want him to control me. I don't want him to have any chance of controlling my son. I witnessed firsthand the influence he had over his children, and it was scary to watch. And when he visited me in the hospital, his son had killed himself, and he wasn't devastated. My son stopped breathing the other day for eighteen seconds, and I freaked out. I blamed myself. Mr. Griffin lost his child, and it didn't break him."

"Listen, I get it. I have a three-year-old, and I worry about him every day. Like I said, if you're not ready now, I understand. Let's wait a year or two, and see what happens."

"Just curious, how much money are we talking about?"

"Well, this is my best estimate, but Josh is worth somewhere around eight million dollars. The trust pays him a hundred thousand dollars a year until he turns twenty-five, then he gets access to the rest."

"You're kidding me."

"No, but let me put it into perspective for you. Mr. Griffin is worth probably somewhere around one hundred twenty million dollars, but from what I hear, his’ will leaves the majority of his estate to FSU. The man loves his Seminoles.”

"Wow."

"Yeah. Crazy, right? So, we're going to sit on this for a while."

"Yes. Thank you for the information."

"You're welcome."

I explained my reasoning to my parents one more time, and they promised to leave it alone. I decided to stick with my original plan and head back to Dallas with my mom as soon as the doctors released Jack. We rented an SUV and took turns driving straight through. Fourteen hours later, Jack and I started our new life.

Epilogue

One Year Later

Carrington Olivia Butler

Jackson will be turning one year old tomorrow. The year flew by, but we have celebrated every little milestone my little guy accomplished since he arrived. His height and weight, small for his age, and the poor thing was allergic to everything. He had asthma, but nothing stopped him.

He started crawling at eight months and got bored quick and started walking at eleven. He spoke a few words, and his vocabulary grew every day. He touched everything and loved pushing buttons. He selected a task and wouldn't give up on it until he achieved it. I called him my miracle and thanked God for every day he was healthy and happy.

As he grew, his skin tone stayed the same, but his eyes turned hazel with green flecks like his fathers and his hair became lighter, too. He resembled his father in mannerisms, and I thought it would be hard for me to see, but it wasn't. I made peace with what happened and chose to block out most everything related to my time with Josh. My therapist disagreed with my logic, but it worked for me.

Jackson and I continued to talk at least once a week. FSU didn't repeat as National Champions, ending up in third, and losing in the new championship bracket game to LSU. Jackson also came in third place in the Heisman Trophy race. Jack and I watched every game. Every time he outgrew his FSU jersey, Jackson would send him another one, and he wore it every Saturday, even in the off-season.

After the season, everyone waited for Jackson to make a decision about his future. He could forgo his last year of eligibility and head to the NFL or return to FSU for another year. I listened, but secretly I rooted for him to stay at FSU.

I tried not to think too much about the "what ifs" when it came to Jackson and me. I toyed with the idea of going back for my junior year, but I already got into SMU as a transfer and the early childhood department ran a day care center on campus for students. Jack loved being around his Gram and Grandpa. I didn’t want to burden my parents financially more then I had to. They never complained, and enjoyed being in Jack’s life.

Jack sat on the counter, and I held him as we decorated his birthday cake. When the doorbell rang, we both stopped and looked at each other. I wiped his hands and put him in his playpen in the living room and answered the door.

I blinked to make sure my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me.

"Hello Carrington." Mr. Griffin stood on my doorstep. He held his head down and wouldn't meet my eyes. He looked back to his old self, but thinner and tanner than I remembered. He wore a golf shirt and black slacks.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I wanted to speak with you. I've called, and my lawyers have sent you letters, but they were returned unopened." I detected something different in his tone of voice, something I never expected from him—humbleness. I pushed it out of my mind. It was too late for him to say he was sorry.

"Yeah. I don't need to hear anything you have to say." I surprised myself at how bitter and angry I sounded. After a year, the man made my skin hot and my heart race. I got on the defensive quick, ready to knock down whatever pitch he prepared for me today.

"If you could give me one minute then I will leave you alone."

"No, I can't give you one minute. You didn't give your son one minute of understanding and compassion. Hell, if you had given him one minute of your precious time, you would have known he was in trouble and needed you. I don't want anything to do with a person like that. I—"

I looked down and Jackson stood next to me with his arm wrapped around my leg, looking up at Mr. Griffin. I missed some icing on his little hand and when he reached out to grab Mr. Griffin's pants to avoid toppling over, he wiped white icing down his leg.

Mr. Griffin stood there with a stunned expression. I watched his face soften to a smile as he knelt down and took Jack's hand and shook it. Jack laughed and he laughed, but then Mr. Griffin cried. A few tears at first, but then a sob escaped his lips and Jack gasped and took off running back into the house. Mr. Griffin remained on his knees sobbing into his hands.

As much as I didn’t want to admit it, his sudden outburst touched my heart. I reached down and grabbed his arm, pulling him up and leading him inside. I sat him on the end of the couch, as he took a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped his face. The sobs subsided, but the tears continued to fall. I handed him a glass of water and sat down across from him until he stopped crying.

"He has Josh's eyes," he said. “I didn’t expect him to look so much like my son.”

Jack approached again. His eyes darted back and forth between his grandfather and me. He took Mr. Griffin's hand and shook it. This time Mr. Griffin laughed and Jack seemed curious that the same action got a different response; he shook it again and again.

“Jack, this is your grandfather.”

Jack looked at Mr. Griffin and smiled.

“Nice to meet you, Jack,” Mr. Griffin said.

I went back to the kitchen to finish the cake and watched Mr. Griffin sit on the floor and play with Jack and his toys. I let go of some of my bitterness. Not all, but some.

"Jackson, why don't you and Mr. Griffin have a seat and I'll make you a snack."

Jackson stood up and took Mr. Griffin's hand and led him into the kitchen. Tears formed in his eyes, and he looked over at me and mouthed the words, "Thank you."

The End

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by

Sydney Aaliyah Michelle

Prologue

The pain radiated from my core out through my arms and legs, fingers and toes. I tried to focus on something substantial, the tree leaves blowing in the wind outside the window or the sneakers lined up on the wall by the door. Everything began to slip away.

I figured I lost the baby and I was on my way out, too. I let go. I closed my eyes and welcomed the stillness and the silence, but something wouldn’t let me go. Make that someone. I forced my eyes open and his bright blue eyes, only inches from mine. His eyes picked up the light and I fell into them. Clung to his stare like it was a lifeline. My lifeline. Jackson saved my life.

I woke up sweating, my shirt sticking to me. I pulled it away from my body and sat on the edge of the bed. My eyes adjusted to the dark, and I made out the silhouette of Jack’s little body in his crib. His tiny chest rose and fell. I knelt by his crib and reached through the slats to rub his back. He twitched and settle into a deeper sleep.

My little Jack was one-year-old today. I should be happy.

Why was I having nightmares again?

I thought I was over this. It was like my therapist said right before I quit seeing her. You never get over something like this. You can only hope for something better and for the pain to eventually fade away.

Acknowledgements

First I would like to think God for allowing the words to continue to flow out of me and on the paper. It is an amazing gift.

I want to thank my FAMILY for their support and for finally understanding why I lock myself in my own little world for days on end. I’m working people.

A huge thank you to the people who helped me create this lovely piece of fiction, Jenny Sims, my editor, Arijana Karčić, Cover It! Designs, my cover designer. You ladies do it like no other.

Thanks to Rachel Marks and Mark My Words Book Publicity for helping me get my book out to the world and to Chelle Hampton and Ashley Blevins for doing all the dirty work.

A special bow in reference to the ladies who get to read my stuff first. Emily Roberston, Tianna Doyle, Wende Dikec & Vanessa Appiah.

I want to send a special shout out and thanks to three ladies who contributed to
Hope for Her
in a special way. Becky Scholten for giving me the quote I used for Carrington’s tattoo, Kisa Schnapp for giving me the quote for Josh’s tattoo and Cassia Brightmore for some direction on a sexy scene.

Finally, I’d like to thank the people who buy/read/review my books. It trips me out to no end that people actually spend money to read what I have to say and to take that extra step to review an indie author’s book is the greatest compliment.

Thank you!!!!!!!

About the Author

S
ydney Aaliyah Michelle is a New Adult Contemporary Romance writer, a voracious reader, and movie fanatic who hails from Texas.

After surviving 5 1/2 years living in China, she had the courage to finally pursue her passion and become a writer.

Sydney has been blogging at
sydneyaaliyah.com
for three years, where she interviews people about their tattoos, discusses her favorite movie quotes, reviews books (New Adult & only the ones she loves) and journals about her writing and editing process.

An active tweeter, she is also a JuNoWriMo (3x) and NaNoWriMo (2x) winner who notes the sci-fi action flick “The Matrix” as the best representation of her life in the past. 
She is blessed to be awake now and doing what she loves.

She can recite the entire script for the 80’s teen comedy/drama
The Breakfast Club
and loves any and everything associated with the
Avengers
movie, especially Tony Stark.

When it comes to books, Sydney reads many different genres, but some of her favorite writers are Stephen King, Cora Carmack, Alex J. Cavanaugh, Cassie Mae, & Emily Bronte. The
Great Gatsby, Under the Dome, Losing It, CassaStorm, Switched
, &
Wuthering Heights
are her favorite books.

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