Hope Springs (31 page)

“Becca, that's awesome news,” Janelle said. “Praise God that you got up on that stage and knocked it out of the park, just like I thought you would. God is faithful.”

Becca's eyes shifted. “I'm having a hard time with that.”

Janelle paused. “With what?”

“All the prayers that were prayed, all the verses I clung to . . . ‘All things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them, and they will be granted you.' ” Becca had raised herself up and spoken with authority; then she sank back down. “I memorized that, I
believed
that. So I asked God to prosper my time with Worth & Purpose, and to bless my ministry so I could continue with them, not only
this
season, but next year and into the future.” She raised her hands in disbelief. “And I got axed my first day on the job!”

Janelle looked sad for Becca. “You really shouldn't see it like that. You did well. It just happened that you got the opportunity because you were replacing someone and the woman came back. But don't let that take away from God's faithfulness in working through you yesterday. How many people heard you speak?”

She shrugged. “I don't know. Maybe five thousand.”

Janelle looked at her. “That's five thousand women you potentially impacted who could go on to impact someone else because of what they heard.”

“Shoot, now that you put it that way,” Stephanie said, “I agree . . . yesterday was incredible all by itself.”

“Incredibly humiliating,” Becca said. “I've been
blogging
about this, how excited I was about this opportunity, how I was believing God to do great things. I just want to shut the blog down and hide in a hole.”

Janelle sat up. “Becca Dillon, you have no reason to hide or to be humiliated. You—” She stopped abruptly.

Becca looked up. “What?”

“At the diner a couple of weeks ago, Sara Ann was encouraging us to sit down in our disappointments and pour our hearts out to God.” She looked at Becca. “I see so clearly how God used you yesterday, and I automatically wanted you to see it and be strong. But you know . . . it's okay to be disappointed.”

“I'm disappointed, but it's more than that.” Becca sat up. “I'm having a hard time believing God for anything related to ministry again. I'm not even sure I
want
to do ministry again.”

Stephanie was full from the meal and the love everyone had shown. They'd even gone around the table and let her know what it meant to have her there this past month. Grandma Geri had made it to the table and started off the words of encouragement. Becca had come, in spite of her heartache, and Todd as well, though he didn't quite seem himself. And no wonder, given the bombshell he'd heard yesterday. And Libby had come from Raleigh—with a guy named Omar—both of them sitting across the table from Travis. Strange vibe
that
was.

Now, at dusk, Stephanie was taking a walk alone, thinking through her life and what her time in Hope Springs had meant. She missed Lindell terribly and looked forward to seeing the rest of her family, but she didn't want to lose the connections she'd made here. And there was so much unresolved . . .

Her phone rang and she reached into her jacket pocket and frowned slightly.

“Hey, babe, something wrong?” She'd just talked to Lindell two hours ago. They hadn't been able to talk every day while he was in Haiti, and certainly not twice a day.

“I felt like I needed to call you back,” he said. “You sounded kind of sad.”

“Oh, I didn't mean to.” She really hadn't. She'd shared some of what had been going on in Hope Springs, but thought she'd done a good job of sounding upbeat and ready to get home. “Babe, I'm the last person you should be worried about while you're down there. I'm fine.”

“I know, but . . . I prayed about it, and I don't see why you need to leave Hope Springs tomorrow.”

“Why do you say that?”

“You set your departure date to match mine, but seems like Hope Springs is your own little mission trip.”

He paused to answer someone's question, and she could hear voices and outdoor noise in the background.

He continued, “I've never seen you this into anything. Just the way you update me about your grandmother and the time you spend with her . . . this is impacting your life. And it's a season you will likely never have again. Not trying to be morbid, Steph, but I'm a doctor. Grandma Geri's prognosis isn't good. You're spending valuable time there, and there's no reason for you to rush back.”

“Are you saying you don't miss me?”

“I miss you so much I call you way more than I should,” he said. “But it's not about me. I'm seeing that more than ever down here. Sometimes we have to live sacrificially, think of others. That's what you're doing. And I feel like I need to support you in that.”

The wind whipped across Stephanie's face as her mind walked through all he was saying. “So what do you think? Another week or so? I don't want to be gone from home
too
long.”

“I think God will let us know. Babe, I've got to go. I love you.”

“Love you too. Call me the minute you reach the States.”

“Will do.”

Stephanie held the phone.
Really, God? You would have me spend more time here in Hope Springs?
She hadn't considered the possibility until Lindell suggested it. And it let her know how far she'd come in one month. She wasn't fighting it.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
Wednesday, February 3

C
hemo on Wednesday provided the first opportunity for Janelle to really talk to Grandma Geri about Aunt Gwynn and Pastor Jim, though she hadn't planned to bring it up. She had the playing cards, DVDs, and magazines ready as usual. But instead Grandma Geri wanted to unload more of what she'd been carrying.

“She sees my sister as her grandmother, you know.” Grandma Geri had focused the conversation on Keisha.

Janelle was still making sure she had all the pieces. “That's Aunt Floretta, right? Your sister in Jersey? So when Aunt Gwynn left Hope Springs, she went to stay with her?”

“That's right. Gwynn couldn't go back to school, and she couldn't stay here. Would've been too much talk. The plan was that Floretta would take care of her while she was pregnant, and then Gwynn would come back.”

“But she never did.”

“No. She decided to keep the baby.” Grandma Geri paused. “Elwood and I told her she couldn't bring the baby to Hope Springs. What if people saw a resemblance or somehow or other put it together that it was Jim's? We thought we were persuading her to go ahead and give the baby up. Instead we convinced her to stay away once she kept it.”

Janelle was careful. “Grandma, why did you and Grandpa worry so much what people thought? Seems like that's what drove this whole thing.”

Her grandmother took a minute to respond. “That's just how it was. You didn't do certain things. You didn't get pregnant, and you certainly didn't get entangled with another race. Gwynn managed to do both.”

“So Aunt Floretta helped raise Keisha, didn't she?”

“Gwynn and Keisha lived with Floretta for years. Floretta was like a second mother to that little girl. To this day Keisha calls her Grandma.” Grandma Geri looked away.

“And you kept in touch with Aunt Floretta?”

“That was my only connection with my daughter and granddaughter,” Grandma Geri said. “Floretta would try to get Gwynn on the phone, but she'd refuse.”

Janelle was silent a minute, mulling her family history. “I knew Aunt Gwynn got pregnant in college and had to leave, and you and Grandpa wanted her to give the baby up for adoption. And I knew she went to stay with Aunt Floretta.” She tried to put herself in her aunt's shoes. “I always thought she stayed away from Hope Springs because she was bitter toward you and Grandpa—which I guess is true. But I'm sure a lot of it was not wanting to be near the Dillons either. I couldn't imagine seeing his parents time and again, knowing they couldn't or wouldn't acknowledge Keisha as their grandbaby. And I especially couldn't imagine seeing Jim with his family. I can see why she stayed away.” She realized what she'd just said. “Sorry, Grandma.”

Grandma Geri seemed to be mulling their history as well. “I've sent letters apologizing over the years because I hate how it all happened,” she said. “But for the life of me, I don't know if we would handle it any differently if we could go back. I know what life would've been like for them, for all of us.”

“For a while,” Janelle said, “till people got over it. And so what if they didn't? Aunt Gwynn, Jim, and the baby could've moved elsewhere.”

“Jan, it always sounds plain in hindsight.”

Janelle lapsed into her own thoughts for a while. Then, “Mom and Dad used to drive up to Jersey sometimes when we were young. So I got to know Keisha a little even though we never really kept in touch.” She looked at her grandmother. “Have you met her even once?”

“Never. Only seen pictures.”

Janelle didn't know what to say.

Janelle heard a light knock on the side door Wednesday evening as she and Stephanie cleaned the kitchen. “Hello?” a voice said.

“Come on in, Todd.”

Travis was with him. The guys were dressed in slacks and button-downs, their Wednesday evening Bible study attire.

Stephanie looked over her shoulder from her place at the sink. “I guess we should feel guilty that we weren't at Bible study tonight—at either church.”

Travis pulled out a chair and sat down. “From what I'm hearing, that Saturday morning diner study is what's happening. I'm thinking about crashing.”

“I've heard the same,” Todd said.

“So what's up, guys?” Janelle said. “This is looking rather official.”

Todd glanced at Travis. “I'm on a mission. Travis is here for moral support, I guess.” He gave a wry smile. “I was hoping you could help me.”

Janelle sat down at the table.

“I know your family's trying to get in touch with your aunt Gwynn, but my focus is on Keisha. I wondered if you could call and introduce us.”

“I don't know, Todd. It's been years since I talked to her. I'm not even sure I have the right number.”

“If you don't, could you get it?”

“I guess . . . but there's no guarantee she'll get on the phone. Do you know what you'll say?”

Todd sighed. “No idea. I don't even want to plan it out. I'm praying for God to make the rough places smooth.”

Janelle nodded. “I like that. I'll start praying that myself.” She got up and found her phone. “Want me to try right now?”

“That's what I was hoping.”

Stephanie put the last pan she'd been washing in the rack to dry and came to the table.

Janelle took a breath and tapped in the number. In light of everything that had happened, she didn't know what to say to her own cousin. How much did Keisha know?

“Whoever's number this is,” she told them, “it's ringing.” Seconds later a woman answered. “Hello . . . is this Keisha?”