Hopeful (24 page)
Authors: Shelley Shepard Gray
Gazing at her, he said, “I was so scared, Miriam. I was so afraid I had lost you before I had even taken the chance to tell you how much I cared for you.”
Miriam cleared her throat. Though Junior had just said many pretty things, he hadn’t exactly come right out and said he loved her. Or that he no longer had any feelings for Mary Kate. “I don’t know what to say.”
Still looking at her directly, he said, “Mary Kate’s parents stopped by my house early this morning to thank me for my help. They’re taking her back to Millersburg. I think she’s decided she needs to spend some time living instead of running.”
“I think that is a
gut
idea,” Miriam replied. “I have a feeling she never was able to show us who she really was the whole time she was here.”
She shivered. “When I think about her burdens that she tried so hard to keep secret? It makes my head spin. She is a brave woman.”
“She sure is.”
Now it was time for her to be brave, too. “Junior, do you still have any feelings for her?”
“Nope. You are the only one I’ve been thinking about for days. You are the person I want to be around the rest of my life.”
Miriam closed her eyes. These were the words she had always dreamt of hearing. Could it be possible they were really coming out of Junior’s mouth? She brushed away a tear, and turned toward him again. “You sound so sure.”
“It took me a while, but I promise, I’ve never been more sure about anything.”
The brush of his thumb over her knuckles reminded her that he was still holding her hand.
And now, as the silence stretched between them, she felt something new settle comfortably between them. It wasn’t friendship, or the strain of tension that hovered in the air.
No, it was something new. Something fresh. Recognizable but a little strange.
After a few seconds, she recognized it for what it was: tenderness.
“Miriam, I need to tell you something.”
“Yes?”
“Last night I finally was able to put into words what I was feeling. Love. I’ve fallen in love with you.”
Love?
“Are you sure?”
“More than sure.” He shifted a bit, then stood up so he was looking down at her. His voice turned like the Junior Beiler she’d known for most of her life. Confident. Assured. “So, it occurred to me that there was only one thing to do about that.”
“What is that?”
“We need to be together.”
She felt her lips curve up. “That is what you’ve decided?”
“I don’t want to let you go, Miriam.”
His words were so sweet, she felt tears prick her eyes again. But she needed to be sure that he was certain.
“You’ve always had a special place in my heart, Junior. But I don’t want to be an afterthought. Or something that’s ‘good enough.’ A substitute for what you couldn’t have.”
“Yesterday, when everything happened with Mary Kate? While of course I was concerned for her safety, I realized that you are the most important thing in the world to me. Let me spend the rest of my life making you believe that. Proving that to you.”
He took both her hands in his.
“I’m more sure about this than most anything else in my life. Miriam, you don’t need to answer right now, but please think about it.”
“What are you asking?”
“For you.”
While she stared at him in wonder, he leaned forward, his gaze earnest and pure. “Say you’ll let me court you. Let me take you on walks and rides and out to meals and whatever else we can think of. Please, let me be yours. Let me know that there’s a chance we could marry one day. Let me hope that one day you’ll forgive me for being so stupid. Let me love you. Miriam, give me hope.”
She almost laughed. All her life, she’d hugged her hopes close to her chest, at first not wanting others to see how much she dreamed about good things happening.
Later, she kept her hopes hidden because she’d feared that others would see and make fun.
But here Junior Beiler was doing the one thing she’d always known she was terribly good at: dreaming of a future. Dreaming of happiness. Dreaming of love. Dreaming of things people said were too much to hope for.
All her life, people had said she should be satisfied with what she had. That she didn’t need more. She didn’t need a man like Junior. She didn’t need a marriage full of romance and love.
But still, she had yearned. And, secretly, she’d continued to hope for more.
“Miriam? What do you think? Do you think one day you might be able to trust me? To trust us? Do you think one day you could love me back?” Junior’s voice was strained. He was worried. He truly thought she might turn him down!
“You’re asking if I might be able to love you, Junior Beiler?”
“Well, yes.” His cheeks were flushed with embarrassment.
A different woman might have remembered a lifetime of longing. Perhaps that woman might have even wanted to make this man learn a bit of patience.
But time had shown her that it was impossible to be anything other than herself.
“
Jah
,” she said, in what had to be the biggest understatement of her entire life. “
Jah
, Junior. I do think I could love you. And that I could trust us.”
And when he looked at her, happiness lighting his eyes, she smiled right back at him.
And knew that at last, she had everything she’d ever wanted.
So, it seemed the whole family was now interested in
Little
Women
. For the last two nights, they’d all gathered in the family room for story time.
“Come on, Miriam and Kaylene,” Randall called out from his position on the couch next to Micah. “Don’t leave us hanging.”
Miriam crossed her legs from her position on the floor next to Kaylene and glared at Randall. “You’re being awfully bossy all of a sudden.”
“I’ve got reasons. Amy’s happy with Laurie, Meg has babies, Beth is in heaven. But we’ve got to know what happens with Jo.” He waved his hands in a forward motion. “Start reading.”
Miriam leaned close to Kaylene. “What do you think we should do? Randall isn’t being very polite.”
Kaylene scooted up on her knees as she half giggled, half whispered in Miriam’s ear. “I think you should read us the very end of it, Miriam.”
“Are you sure?”
“She’s sure,” Joe called out as he grabbed a handful of popcorn before passing the bowl to Claire. Joe had finally asked Beverly to marry him so he was a constant fixture in the house. Which meant, of course, that he got swept away by the girls’ story, too.
“All right, I will. As long as you boys stop commenting after every paragraph.”
“Not all of us have been commenting,” Levi said with a glare at his older brothers. “Some of us actually know how to listen to a story.”
Randall tossed a piece of popcorn at him. “You only know because you just got out of school. You’re still just a boy.”
Levi glared. “I am not. I’m practically a man.”
Randall grinned wickedly. “Oh, really, Levi? What, exactly, have you been—”
“Stop egging him on, Randall,” Junior interrupted before turning to Miriam. “You can start now. I promise, we’ll all stay quiet.”
“Well, if you’re sure. . . .”
“We’re sure,” Randall said. “Go ahead. Please.”
Hiding a smile, Miriam cleared her throat and read the last chapter.
Thirty minutes later, the book was done. She closed it with a satisfied feeling. To her amusement, everyone who was gathered around started clapping.
“That was a
gut
book,” Kaylene whispered in Miriam’s ear.
“And you even read much of it, Chipmunk.”
Pride shone brightly in her eyes. “I did, didn’t I?” She hugged Miriam and then ran to the kitchen, where Claire was serving up generous slices of pumpkin pie.
With a creak and a small groan, Miriam climbed to her feet, then smiled when Junior came forward to lend a hand.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“For what?”
“For doing something amazing.”
“Junior, I didn’t do anything. All I did was read a book.”
“No, you did more than that. You made our little family complete. You made it seem like we weren’t missing part of ourselves anymore.”
She shook her head. “This was already a wonderful family. But I’m glad I’m a part of it now.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind being plain old Miriam Beiler and not working anymore?”
“I love being Miriam Beiler.”
He still looked concerned. “You’re not going to miss baking pies at the Sugarcreek Inn?”
“Believe me, I’d rather make pies for you than a dozen people at the Inn. This is where I belong.”
After peeking to make sure everyone else was occupied, he folded her into his arms and gathered her close. “For sure and for certain, Miriam. For now and for always, this is where you belong.”
“Forever,” she whispered, as she lifted her chin for his kiss. And his love. Forever and ever.
About the author About the book Fanny Kay’s Chocolate Cream Pie Glossary of Pennsylvania Dutch Words Read on |  |
Meet Shelley Shepard Gray
I
GREW UP IN
H
OUSTON
, T
EXAS
, went to Colorado for college, and after living in Arizona, Dallas, and Denver, we moved to southern Ohio about ten years ago.
I’ve always thought of myself as a very hard worker, but not “great” at anything. I’ve obtained a bachelor’s and master’s degree . . . but I never was a gifted student. I took years of ballet and dance, but I never was anywhere near the star of any recital. I love to cook, but I’m certainly not close to being gourmet . . . and, finally, I love to write books, but I’ve certainly read far better authors.
Maybe you are a little bit like me. I’ve been married for almost twenty years and have raised two kids. I try to exercise but really should put on my tennis shoes a whole lot more. I’m not a great housekeeper, I hate to drive in the snow, and I don’t think I’ve ever won a Monopoly game. However, I am the best wife and mother I know how to be.
Isn’t it wonderful to know that in God’s eyes that is okay? That from His point of view, we are all exceptional? I treasure that knowledge and am always so thankful for my faith. His faith in me makes me stand a little straighter, smile a little bit more, and be so very grateful for every gift He’s given me.
I started writing about the Amish because their way of life appealed to me. I wanted to write stories about regular, likeable people in extraordinary situations—and who just happened to be Amish.
Getting the opportunity to write inspirational novels is truly gratifying. With every book, I feel my faith grows stronger. And that makes me feel very special indeed.
www.shelleyshepardgray.com
