Hopeless (26 page)

He closed his eyes as he turned his cheek into
her palm. He knew he would never get tired of hearing her say those words, no
matter how many years they spent together; those three little words would always
be the soothing balm that made bad days better.

The physical and emotional barriers were
suddenly gone, and they lay there, staring at each other, reveling in the
freedom of finally being able to say what they felt without fear of pain or recrimination.

“I’m never gonna let you go,” he whispered,
forcing her to look him in the eye. “If the goddamn cancer comes back, we’ll
fight it together, you and me. And we’ll beat it.”

She slipped her hands through his and
smiled. “I know. Just like I’ll be there to help you face every single battle
you have to face.”

Victoria made him a better man, a stronger
man. The magazine articles always depicted him as this mysterious, fearless,
warrior type, but until he’d met her, he felt like he was just playing a role,
being the persona people expected to see when he donned the uniform that set
him apart from the masses. Now, he finally felt the strength of her courage
infusing him, making him feel as though there was no force in the world strong
enough to tear him down as long as he had her by his side.

“Make love to me,” she whispered.

Jay reached into his nightstand for a
condom, but she grabbed his wrist. “No more barriers. I want you to love me,
just you, just me, with nothing between us.”

 He’d never thought to make love to a woman
without the benefit of protection, but with her it seemed so right, so natural,
as though that’s the way it was meant to be. He leaned down to kiss her and she
raised her hips, urging him to give her what she needed.

When they finally came together, her mouth
taking his at the same time his body claimed hers, he knew it was different
than the last time they made love. She was so guarded then, trying to protect
both of them from getting hurt, but this time, she met him thrust for thrust, fearlessly.
She poured all of her love, courage, and strength into it, giving him her heart
and her body without reservation.

“I want you here with me, every night,” he
whispered in her ear as he tried to prolong the pleasure just a few more
minutes. His tongue darted out to lick the shell of her ear as her nails
skimmed his shoulders. “I want you by my side at work every day…” There was no
part of his life he didn’t want her to share.

“I want that too.” Her breath was coming
harder, faster, and he knew she was getting closer to the invisible peak.

He licked her neck, drawing the sensitive
skin into his mouth. “Let go for me, baby.”

She moaned and surrendered to her release
at the same time his body passed the point of no return. They lay together for
a long time, waiting for their breathing to return to normal, searching for the
strength to break the connection they’d finally found the courage to seek in
each other’s arms.

The cell phone in Jay’s pocket rang and he
groaned. He was tempted to ignore it, but his business was in a period of
transition, growing beyond his wildest expectations, which meant he was on call
whenever the studios were open. “Sorry, sweetheart, I should get that.”

She smiled as he eased off of her and
reached for the jeans he’d tossed on the floor. “No worries, I’m not going
anywhere.”

Jay frowned when he saw the number flash on
the screen. “It’s Lena.”

Victoria sat up. “Hurry, answer it.”

“Hey, kiddo, what’s up?”

“Jay… I need … you. Please, I… don’t… have
a …coach. I was… gonna ask… you, but there’s… no time. The … baby’s… coming
now!”

The words were ripped from her throat
between huge gasps and Jay knew she must be already be in active labor. “Okay,
just try and relax. Where are you?”

“On… way… to … hospital.”

“Okay, just hang on, Lena. I’m on my way.
I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He hung up the phone and jumped out of bed,
thrusting his legs into his jeans.

“Oh God, it’s the baby, isn’t it?”

“She’s in labor. We need to get to the
hospital, now.”

She clamped her hand over her mouth, her
eyes looking wide and frantic, before she finally said, “No, it’s too soon. She
can’t have the baby yet.”

He pulled her against him, trying to ease
the panic he saw clouding eyes that just moments before had been glazed with
pleasure. “Just relax, she’s in good hands. We just need to get to the
hospital. She needs us.”

She reached for his hand when he bent to
pick up her dress. “I need you to promise me the baby’s gonna be okay, and
Lena, please, just tell me they’re gonna be okay.”

Jay didn’t even know how far along Lena
was. He had no idea whether she could safely deliver the baby at this stage of
her pregnancy, but he knew Victoria needed his reassurance, not reason. “She’s
gonna be fine, baby. Come on; let’s get the hell outta here.”

Victoria was gripping Jay’s hand as he
asked the woman at the admissions desk for directions to Lena’s room. By the
time they arrived, the waiting area outside her room was crowded with familiar
faces. Lindsay and her fiancé, Trey, Sierra, Alisa, Derek, Ashley, Josh, and
Lexi… even Mike was there. He’d been on his way out to pick up his date when
they met him in the hall outside his apartment. He’d obviously decided to
cancel his night on the town in favor of sitting in a hospital waiting room
with his family.

Lena finally had what she’d always prayed
for, a family, and as everyone took turns hugging Victoria and telling her how
glad they were she was back home, where she belonged, Victoria realized she was
ready to face her biggest fear... She was ready to let people care about her.
She wanted friends and family like this, who weren’t afraid to love her in
spite of the inherent risks. These people cared about her simply because Jay
loved her, and that was reason enough for them to accept her into their hearts
without questions or reservations. They didn’t judge her because of her past or
because she ran away when she should have stayed. They seemed willing to accept
her exactly as she was… flaws and all.

“Come on,” Jay said, tugging on Victoria’s
hand, pulling her away from his mother. “We need to get in there. Lena’s
probably scared out of her mind.”

So was Victoria. She was terrified for
Lena, and the baby she’d already fallen in love with. There hadn’t been time to
tell Lena she’d had a change of heart about adopting the baby. She thought
they’d have weeks before they welcomed her into the world, instead of hours.
And Jay, how was he going to react when she told him she wanted to be a mother?
Would he stand by her, as he’d promised, or would he decide he didn’t want the
headache of loving a woman he had to share?

“We’ll keep you posted,” Jay said to the
group.

Sierra put her arm around her daughter, who
was biting her fingernails to the quick. “Please, give Lena our love. Tell her
we’re all out here praying for her and her sweet baby, okay?”

Jay smiled. “Will do.”

Victoria took a deep breath as Jay led her
into the hospital room. “Hey,” he said to Lena. “Look who I brought.”

The look of relief that passed over Lena’s
face before a fresh wave of pain stole her breath brought tears to Victoria’s
eyes. “Hi, there,” Victoria whispered, pulling a chair up to the edge of the
bed.

“Are you the coach?” the nurse asked.

“Um…” Victoria looked up at Jay. She had no
idea how to help Lena, and she suspected he was as clueless as she was, but she
couldn’t stand the thought of leaving the scared teen alone with the medical
team.

“Please,” Lena whimpered, squeezing
Victoria’s hand. “Can they both stay?”

The nurse gave them a quick once over.
“There are gowns in there,” she said, pointing to a small closet. “Slip them
on.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Jay said, disarming her with
his sexy grin.

The grey-haired nurse tried to hide her
smile when she said, “You’d think I’d be immune to a handsome young thing like
you…” She winked at Victoria. “But I guess you never get
that
old.”

Victoria glanced up at Jay. There were
times when she almost forgot how handsome he was. His looks seemed so
superficial compared to the innate goodness she knew lurked beneath the
surface. The world got to see the attractive exterior, but she felt blessed
he’d let her see beyond that.

He moved to stand behind Victoria, resting
his hands on her shoulders. “You okay?” he asked, leaning over to whisper in
her ear.

She gripped his wrist with her free hand.
“I am now.”

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Lena said
between clenched teeth. “Both of you. I don’t think I could do this alone.”

If Victoria hadn’t woken up that morning
feeling brave enough to conquer her fears, she would have missed out on this
moment. If she’d had any doubt fate had a hand in her future, she didn’t
anymore. “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, sweetie,” Victoria said,
pressing her lips to the young girl’s hand.

“I’ll be right back,” Jay said, walking
toward the closet to retrieve the gown. He slipped into the adjoining restroom,
Victoria suspected to give her a few minutes alone with Lena.

“I’m so sorry I walked out on you when you—”

Lena’s gut-wrenching cry echoed through the
room, bouncing off the walls and tearing through Victoria. She’d heard those
screams before, when she was the one in a hospital bed just like this one and
the morphine wasn’t enough to take the edge off the other patients’ agony.

“It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay,” Victoria
whispered, brushing the girl’s hair off her face. She wasn’t going to look
back, not today. This was a time for hope, to look to the future, not to get
caught up in her bleak memories of the past. “You’re doing great. I’m so proud
of you.”

“What… if… she’s not…okay?” Lena sobbed,
squeezing Victoria’s hand as the tears slid down her cheeks and into her
hairline. “It’s too soon. God, it’s too soon.”

“Let’s just wait and see what the doctor
says, okay?”

As if on cue, the doctor who’d performed
Lena’s ultrasound a few weeks earlier walked into the room. He smiled. “It
looks like the little miss didn’t want to wait to make her entrance, huh?”

Victoria glanced at the gold nameplate
pinned to his white lab coat. “She’s premature, is that a cause for concern,
Dr. Riley?” She knew it was; she’d been reading books about pregnancy,
delivery, and the first few weeks of a newborn’s life, hoping she could help
Lena when she returned home, but she never expected to put her newfound knowledge
to use so soon.

“She’s almost thirty-four weeks. I
certainly would have preferred she carry to term, but I don’t see any reason to
believe she won’t be delivering a healthy baby here today.”

Victoria lowered her head and released the
breath she’d been holding. “Thank God.”

Jay came out of the restroom. He passed
Victoria the paper gown, his hand lingering on hers long enough to put her at
ease.

The doctor cleared his throat. “Um, are you
the baby’s father?”

Jay looked insulted the doctor would assume
he was someone who would engage in sex with a minor. “No, just a friend.”

“I see, well… We should be ready to get
started here in just a few minutes. The nurse tells me you’re already seven
centimeters, which means it’s too late for an epidural.”

Victoria wished there was something they
could do to ease Lena’s pain, but she knew the girl had already endured more
emotional pain than most people twice her age. The physical pain would pass;
the emotional scars would last forever. 

“I’ll be back to check on you in a few
minutes,” the doctor said, slipping past Jay.

“Can you believe him?” Jay muttered under
his breath. “Implyin’ that I’d be dumb enough to mess around with a kid half my
age?”

Victoria smiled at his outrage. If only the
doctor knew Jay the way she did. “Forget about him.” She slipped the gown on
and pointed to the chair on the other side of the bed. “Get comfortable,
coach.”

Jay looked hesitant as he reached for the
chair. He positioned the back of the chair against the side of the bed,
chuckling when Victoria rolled her eyes. “What?”

“We may be here a while. You’ll probably
want to get comfortable.”

He sat down and reached for Lena’s other
hand. “I am.”

Victoria was surprised to see he did look
at ease, holding Lena’s hand, tipping a cup filled with ice chips up to her
lips, and wiping her forehead down with a cool cloth. He looked like the kind
of man a woman could count on in the face of a crisis.

“You ready to do this, sweetheart?” Jay
asked.

For a minute, Victoria thought Jay was
talking to her when the endearment slipped past his lips, but she quickly
realized he was talking to Lena. Of course he was talking to Lena; she was the
one having the baby, she reminded herself. The only thing she had to do was sit
there offering quiet words of encouragement and trying not to get in the
doctor’s way.