Horizon (12 page)

Humiliation registered on his face before he barged out of the room without another word. For a moment, I gloated for getting in the last word. But then, after I thought about what I’d actually said, I sunk to my knees. I’d told him my plan. I’d laid it all out for him. Not details, mind you, but he knew my resolve.

I stared at the door, willing him to come back. When that didn’t happen after a few minutes, my whole body trembled. What had I done?

What was keeping Zach from giving me over to Valen? It’d be easy for him. The hurt in his eyes had been telling. I’d cut him deep with my words.

But I couldn’t pretend. I couldn’t let him go on thinking he had a chance with me. It would be cruel for me to lead him on, especially after all we’d been through together.

With determination settling into my heart, I stood up. Being a wimp wasn’t going to help me. If I was ever going to get out of here with my mind intact, I needed to practice. I needed control. What I really needed was a new plan.

The next few days were awkward to say the least. Each night Valen invited Zach and I to dinner, and each night we both pretended everything was fine. Thing was, I doubted I was that convincing. I’d taken extra efforts to show Zach affection. I started thinking of him as my big brother and it helped a little, yet every time we made it into our room, he went straight for the closet. He’d set up a little sleeping nook under a rather long rack of dress shirts.

Guilt ate at me more than I wanted to admit, but I’d already done the damage. It wasn’t like I could make it up to him. My feelings hadn’t changed. I still wanted Heath, and the more time I spent away from him the more desperate I became to have him back in my life.

I wanted to run my own destiny, not accept the burden the fae and rebels had chained to my back. I’d been fighting for my freedom since the moment the fae found me.

More than once I’d considered running, but if I gave into that impulse, I’d end up back here as Valen’s bondmate. I had no doubt he wouldn’t care how I felt or what I wanted. Each time I saw her, his current bondmate looked weaker, ashen even. It was only a matter of time before he would take her back to the mortal realm. I’d made several attempts to see her and was turned away every time. I had to figure out how to get out of here before that happened.

Zach claimed not to care, but he respected the distance I placed between us. He hadn’t made a move on me, either, which was no small blessing.

We continued our training sessions, too. He was extremely formal, and I was distant, but we seemed to be making progress. I’d learned to conceal a few trees by deflecting space. It was a weird technique that required a lot of focus. I basically had to take a mental image of the surrounding area and superimpose a compilation onto the spot I wanted to hide. Zach said it got easier with time, but I didn’t know how that would be possible.

We hadn’t discussed our blow-up, and I was grateful. I couldn’t always count on him to do the right thing, which was what I had been doing this whole time. At any moment, he could get sick of trying and turn on me or hand me over to Valen.

At some point we were going to have to deal with this, but right now, I was barely keeping my mind focused enough to keep people out. The last thing I wanted was to ever give our dear leader a snapshot into my mind, no matter how brief.

Once again we were on our way to dine with the man. He’d sent over this really pretty green gown for me to wear. It was delicate with iridescent beads sewn into floral patterns across the bodice with a trail of strategically placed vines that would barely cover parts of me I’d rather not display to anyone other than Heath. The rest of the dress was this side of sheer. I refused to put it on and sent it to his bondmate. It was probably stupid of me to be so defiant, but considering what had happened, I was still a bit leery of accepting fae gifts of any kind.

Even if I hadn’t thought there was some kind of string attached to that dress, I wouldn’t have worn it. Not only was it completely too revealing for my tastes, it was the thought of putting something on my body that Valen had imagined me in that really creeped me out.

I’d gone over the first time I met the man a hundred times, at least, and I still couldn’t reconcile the docile man with the kind smile against the one now greeting me. He was the same but different, yet I couldn’t figure out how.

“Rayla, how lovely you look,” he said, as he always did whenever he saw me. He tugged on my hand, pulling me closer to him and whispered not even an inch from my ear, “I had hoped you’d wear the gown I had fashioned for you.”

I could have thrown up right there if it hadn’t been for how stunned I was at his brazen attentions. Zach pulled on my other arm, and I pushed back from Valen, trying to keep the smile on my face from cracking. “Didn’t fit,” I said. “I thought there was some sort of mistake, so I sent it to your bondmate.”

His eyes crept over every inch of me. “I’ll have to reprimand the tailor, then. I was sure the measurements were right.” He smiled, a certain light dancing behind his eyes. “And didn’t you know I no longer have a bondmate.”

I swallowed past the knot of anxiety in my throat. The strain in my voice was hard to miss. “How awful for you.”

“On the contrary,” he said easily. “I am now able to pursue other courses.”

He grinned until Zach put his arm around me. His expression hardened even further when Zach’s hand slid along the line of my shoulder and down to my waist, hugging my body the entire way until his hand rested just above my hip.

The two men stared the other down, but Zach didn’t flinch. After a moment Valen left us. Zach’s hand stayed at my waist as he guided me toward the table. I inched closer to him. “Thank you,” I said, hoping he knew how much I appreciated what he’d just done.

All I got in response was a hearty grunt.

Dinner dragged, and I couldn’t stop myself from going over events of the evening and those I’d had before with the council chairman. Valen was testing the waters. He either knew about the trouble between Zach and me, or he was trying to make some. I didn’t like either alternative.

Courtesans came and went from our nightly dinner engagements, but Zach and I had become a permanent fixture. The worst part was, I was about to start seeing Valen on a regular basis at court.

My first real session began tomorrow afternoon. I just wished I could see an upside to being there. The only thing that had me partially excited was Tabitha was rumored to attend. With any luck, I’d get some good news.

Morning came way too fast. I’d gotten used to staying in bed half the day, but when Zach came out of the closet before the sun had even risen, demanding I get up for training, it was pretty apparent today would be long.

I wanted to argue, but thought better of it. Zach had been too distant for my liking. Especially considering Valen’s stunt last night, I had to keep him close. I just wished there was a good way to appeal to his desire to thwart his sister against my desire to eventually reunite with Heath. I was sure a bargain could be made, but I didn’t exactly have the best negotiation skills.

When I was ready, Zach led me to the stables. It had been a long time since I’d flown, so anticipation lit up my insides. I could use a distraction and being able to touch heaven definitely qualified.

I matched Zach step for step, but I had to skip a few times to keep up with him. “Where are we going?” I asked after a while of walking.

“I’ve been neglecting Styx as you have neglected Bastion. Although we are not home, it is time for us to settle into a routine. We’ll take our time traveling the outskirts of Lombarda. I don’t dare take you any further, but Styx isn’t going to be happy with having to fly laps. Takes the fun out of it.”

“Zach?” I asked, not sure how best to ask him this.

“You may always tell me anything, Rayla. I sense your trepidation. Just get it out.”

I nodded, happy he was at least saying more than one word to me. “About today. What if I mess up? What if someone gets me angry and I do something stupid?”

He didn’t even glance at me. “You are capable of controlling yourself. Just do it.”

Well, that was helpful. What I really needed to do was tell Zach I was sorry for hurting him. I wasn’t sorry for what I’d said. I’d meant every word, but I never wanted to cause him pain.

“I—I wanted to thank you for being understanding,” I started.

He stopped cold. “Don’t.” His head shook as if in emphasis. “Don’t give me the speech.”

“Speech?”

He rolled his eyes, and it looked out of place on him. “You know, the ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you talk.’ That was where you were going, right?”

“We’ve got to discuss this,” I said.

“What is there to say? You’ve made your point clear. You know where I stand. I want you. You don’t want me. What more is there than that?”

“We’ve got to work together.”

“We have been.”

“But I don’t like how this is between us. I want to be your friend.”

“I’ve got enough friends, thanks. Besides, we’re business partners, remember? We don’t have to be friends.”

He quickened his step, and I let him walk ahead of me. This wasn’t going to turn out good. How could it? I’d spurned him. Not only that, I’d attacked his ego.

I was a good twenty yards behind him when he entered the stables. Before I could even reach the door, Styx let out a whinny so loud it rocked my eardrums. His angry voice flowed into my mind not long after. “I don’t care what is going on between the two of you, Bastion and I have not been out for days.”

I found that a little odd since I’d passed three stable hands on the way into this wing. Yet, considering no other animals were anywhere to be seen, maybe the servants were afraid. Why wouldn’t they at least let the two pegusi roam the hills for a while? Since I was the one holding the party up, I hurried inside. I’d snagged a couple of apples from the basket in our room and offered one to Bastion first.

As usual, she glared at me, so I held my hand out to Styx. He snapped the apple off my palm so fast, I was sure he took a piece of skin.

“Good to see you too,” I said, rubbing my palm before I patted behind his ear.

A snort was his immediate answer. “What have you done to her?” he asked.

I frowned. “What are you talking about?”

His obsidian eyes bored into me. “Bastion, she won’t talk to me.”

I scoffed. “You have a better chance of getting that question answered than I do. She’s never said a word to me.”

Zach walked over to us. “What’s going on?”

While I was trying to figure out what to say to him, Styx went for the apple in my other hand. This time, he nipped my pinky. “Hey!” I hugged my hand to my chest. “I need that, you know.”

His tail swished sideways. “You could live without it.”

“Yeah, well, you could live without your ears, but I don’t think you’d like it.”

Zach spoke louder. “What’s going on?”

I shook my head. “It’s Bastion. I thought it was just me, but she’s not talking to Styx, either.”

Zach walked up to her stall and opened the gate. He held his hand out for her to sniff, which she did briefly before she turned away.

“Bastion,” he said. “What’s the matter with you, girl?”

She whipped her head around and stared at him, really stared. I couldn’t tell what the heck was going on, so I inched closer. She didn’t seem to notice my approach. In fact, she didn’t move. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she wasn’t breathing. The closer he got to her, the wilder her eyes grew.

“Zach,” I warned. He flashed a smile over his shoulder.

“I know what I’m doing, lass.” His lilt had kicked in strong, which made me smile. “Don’t worry over me. Besides, if she kills me dead, your troubles are over.”

“Whatever,” I said, still smiling. “Just be careful.”

“Careful is for beggars and bastards. I’m neither, in case you didn’t know.”

I laughed. “What’s that supposed to mean.”

“Something my pop used to tell me. All I could ever gather was he did it when he needed a kick in the pants of courage.”

His pop? Funny how looking at him now made me think he’d never had a father. “Well, if it works?”

He chuckled. “Seems to do the job, most days.”

He was right next to Bastion now, holding one arm out to the side as if in surrender while the other acted as a barrier between them. Before I could blink, she bolted past us. Her iridescent wings trailed behind her, pinched at her sides. I shook my head. It wasn’t like she had anywhere to go.

My hand shot to my mouth when she blasted a hole in the doors at the other end. Was
my
pegasus trying to escape? Zach let a kicking Styx out of his stall, who took after her in a flash. He, in turn, blasted the doors with another burst of fire to get out.

The hole apparently wasn’t big enough for him.

Zach raced after the two, and I followed, coughing from the smoke in the air. I glanced behind me, sending a stream of water to douse the fire before it grew out of control. When we reached the pasture, the moon cast a luminescent glow over the already shimmering landscape.

At first, I didn’t know where they’d gone, then I spotted the duo near the glowing castle spires, wings spread wide, gliding on the wind.

If only I could be so free.

Zach clapped me on the arm. “Well. I guess she didn’t want passengers this time.”

I blinked at him. “Aren’t you worried they won’t come back?”

“Naw.” He laughed, and it was so good to see him smile. “Where would they go?” A moment of silence passed between us as his eyes lingered on mine. Then he looked away.

Was he trying to tell me the same thing? Did he still think he was going to win my heart? I hoped he was beginning to understand that wouldn’t happen, but more, I hoped he was opening his heart to other possibilities.

“I’m worried,” I said.

He reached out and clasped my shoulder. “I know. Take comfort in our bond, Rayla. Since you have chosen to distance yourself from me, it is all I have to offer you.”

I swallowed, glancing away. “You do mean a lot to me. I just can’t give you what you want.”