Horrible Harry and the Kickball Wedding (2 page)

BOOK: Horrible Harry and the Kickball Wedding
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THONK!
The ball soared high in the air to center field. It looked like a sure home run!
Dexter thought so, too. He went into his Elvis routine, rocking and rolling around the bases.
“Be bop da-boom!
Be bop da-boom!
Shoogie-boogie
Boogie-shoogie
SLAM! BAM! BOOM!”
Then it happened. Deep in center field, all the way back by the big tree ... “SHE'S GOT IT!” I screamed.
It was Song Lee! She grabbed the ball right out of the air with both hands and pulled it close to her chest.
“Dexter's out! Yahoo!” Harry yelled as he ran to center field and gave Song Lee a big hug.
When recess was over and we lined up, Sidney patted Harry on the back. “You
really
love kickball, don't you?”
“Yeah!” Harry said, pointing both thumbs up.
“So why don't you marry it, then?”
Harry poked Sidney in the chest. “You like to laugh? Just wait till I tickle
your
funnybone. After school!”
As I watched Sidney duck behind the teacher, I shook my head.
Poor Sidney.
He was in for it now. Harry's revenge!
Tickle Attack!
 
 
 
 
A
t 3:03 P.M., I sat on the school lawn reading a book while Harry hid behind the pricker bush waiting for Sidney.
When Dexter strolled by, Harry peeked out at him. “Hey, Dex!”
Dexter took a step back. “You hiding from someone?”
“Eh ... no. Just looking for slugs under these rocks.”
“That's cool. Hey, did I get robbed or what? Man, that should have been a homer-illo.”
“Yeah,” Harry said. “Right-arillo! But Song Lee is an awesome player.”
Dexter nodded. “Wait till I get my cousin's new soccer ball. You kick that sucker and it flies!”
“All right!” Harry said.
Then Dexter spotted me on the lawn and waved. Harry and I waved back as we watched him rock and roll up the street singing:
“Shoogie boogie boo!
Shoogie boogie boo!
Boogie-shoogie
Shoogie-boogie
Boogity boo!”
Soon after Dexter left, Sidney came by. Harry was waiting for him.
“Aha!” he shouted as he leaped up, wiggling his fingers. “It's time for ... the
tickle attack!”
Harry jumped on Sidney.
“Hey! What are you doing?” Sidney said as they tumbled to the ground.
“Heh! Heh! Heh!” Harry cackled.
Then he slipped his fingers inside Sidney's jacket and started tickling his armpits.
“HA! HA! HA!” Sidney howled. “STOP! HA! HA! STOP!”
A bunch of letters fell out of Sidney's pocket when he was screaming and shaking. I thought they were probably valentines. My name was on one of them.
“Are you gonna stop bugging me about marrying hot dogs or kickballs?”
“YES! HA! HA! I PROMISE!”
As soon as Harry stopped, Sidney jumped to his feet. He looked like he was going to cry. “You know what? My ... my ... mom's
really
getting married Saturday.”
Harry's eyes were as big as mine!
We watched Sidney pick up the letters and stuff them back in his pocket. “Mom wants me to invite you guys, but I don't feel like it. I don't even want to go myself!”
“Who's your mom marrying?” I asked as I got up and closed my book.
“Some guy named George. He sells tombstones.”
“Tombstones?” I asked. “That's interesting. Is he nice?”
Sidney shrugged. “He's okay. I don't know why Mom has to
marry
him. I'm supposed to be in the wedding ceremony and go to some dumb rehearsal tonight at the church. But I don't want to!”
Then Sidney started crying and ran up the street.
I shook my head. “Well, now we know why Sidney has marriage on the brain.”
“Yeah,” Harry said. “Too bad he isn't handing out those invitations. I love weddings. They're fun.”
“They are? I've never been to one.”
“You have
never
been to a wedding, Doug?”
“Nope,” I said, shaking my head. “But I saw one on TV and one in a movie.”
“That's not the same thing as
being
there. We've got to do something about this.”
When Harry spotted Song Lee walking up the street, he suddenly snapped his fingers. “That's it! And doing it on Valentine's Day would be perfect!”
“Doing ... what?”
“You'll see, Doug.” Then he flashed his big toothy smile. “First, I have to pick up a few things at the party store, and then I need to borrow some of Mom's red fingernail polish.”
What was Harry up to? I couldn't wait to find out!
Big Wedding Plans
 
 
 
 
H
arry came to school the next morning with a special homemade valentine. There was a big heart painted on it with red fingernail polish.
“I'm asking Song Lee today,” he said as he walked into class.
“Asking her what?” I whispered.
“You'll see.”
Harry sat there holding his valentine while Miss Mackle was reading
Pinocchio.
He was so interested in today's episode that he didn't pass the card. Finally, the teacher stopped reading—right where the serpent laughs so loud he bursts a blood vessel.

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