Hot as Hades (26 page)

She circled her arms around Cowboy’s waist and leaned her head against him. For a moment, she allowed herself to soak in the comfort she always seemed to find in his presence. He always felt safe and warm to her.

They finally stopped by a beautiful lake in the back of the property and he glided off the horse. Then, held up his arms for her and she slid down.That’s when she saw the grave stones, situated beneath an enormous willow tree. He pulled a flashlight from his back pocket and illuminated one of the graves.

She read the first name, Melissa Grant. She remembered what Eddie had said about his wife’s death.

 “I told you about Melissa,” he said quietly.

She nodded.

Then, he shined the light on a smaller headstone. Jake Grant Jr. “And this is my son.”

Oh my God.

Momentarily, stunned out of her own pain, she gasped. “I’m so sorry, Cowboy.”

Judging by the dates on the headstone, his wife had only been twenty-five when she died, and his little boy had been only a few months old.

He pulled up some weeds from around the headstones. While the rest of the property grew wild, this place had been landscaped. The grass was neatly trimmed, and the tombstones were encircled with a ring of smooth and shiny stones, clearly marking the graves.

 “I told you I started to rodeo for extra money.”

She nodded.

“Well, I started winning big. I competed in the Texas circuit and started traveling all over hell and half acre. I even made it into the national finals and got some big money.” He gestured around them. “I eventually earned enough to buy us this spread.”

He continued, his face, grimmer. “But I started to see less and less of Mel, and when we were together, well, it wasn’t good. She was pissed at me, tired from caring for our little boy all by herself and I always came home drained and needing some space. The last few weeks we were together, right after we moved into this house, we felt like strangers.”

She swallowed thickly, knowing the worst was yet to come.

“Anyway, Mel started to say crazy shit, babbling about this world being a bad place for Jake, and how she couldn’t protect him. I shoulda done somethin’ then. It couldn’t have been good, being here all by herself, with only a baby for company. She’d send me these rambling voice mails.” He sucked in a breath and turned away from her, focusing on the headstones. “I should have listened to her, gotten some help.”

Daisy hugged herself, wrapping her arms around her body. It sounded like his wife had a very severe case of postpartum depression, probably made worse because she was the sole caregiver.

 “The coroner said she’d laced Jake’s bottle with sleeping pills,” he whispered. “Then, she took some as well. I found them curled together, dead in my bedroom.”

The right words failed her. “Oh, Cowboy, I’m so sorry,” she finally murmured. She pulled him into her embrace, noticing how taut his body had gone.

They held each other for a while, easing each other’s pain.

After a long moment, he pulled away. “All of this is my own fault,” he said, gesturing to the headstones.

“You couldn’t have known what would happen.”

 “Maybe not, but I ignored my instincts. I should have protected them both better. They deserve to be alive.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “And that’s why I can’t bring myself to live here. I come by here every day, feed the horse, and go on rides. I lay flowers on their graves. But I can’t stand to set foot in that house. Not yet. We only lived there a couple of weeks before she…but still, I can’t. Every time I walk in the door, I see them on the bed.”

“Some day you will.”

“I hope so,” He said the words, but didn’t sound convinced. Cowboy sucked in a breath. “Look, I didn’t dump this on you to get your sympathy.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “The point of me tellin’ you all this shit is that you still have a chance.”

She bit her lip. “How? Rock was my only lead.”

“We’ll find another way. I’ll have Shep make some inquiries, see if anything shakes loose.”

He said
we
. Relying on others didn’t come easily to her, but she knew he meant he would hang in there for the long haul with her. Much as she hated to admit it, she needed him. Daisy needed his support, his strength right now.

“I hope you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right. For me, it’s done. I can’t fix this. But you said he sold your sister, which means she isn’t dead. You still have the opportunity to save her, so you can’t give up, not until you can’t fight anymore. This is only a setback.”

She nodded. Cowboy was right. She still had a chance to find Rose. She couldn’t lose hope, not yet.

 “Come on. Let’s head back to the barn.” He mounted Cash again, and pulled her up behind him.

When they reached the building, they jumped down and he led Cash to some sort of horse cleaning station. He fastened the lead to a fence post, by a hose. Near it, sat a bucket and a squeeze bottle of horse shampoo.

She glanced up at the wide barn door and noticed a horseshoe hanging above it. She also remembered seeing one tattooed on his arm. Cowboy must have a thing for them. “Why do you have a horseshoe tacked up there?” she asked curiously.

“It’s a good luck charm, of sorts. It’s supposed to catch good energy or some shit and keep it.” He sighed. “Knowin’ what I know now, I should have nailed one to the arch above my front door,” he said darkly.

After a moment of awkward silence, she tried for a lighter tone. “I noticed you had a horseshoe tat on your arm too.”

He nodded. “Yeah, I do. I got it during my rodeo days. Riders are a superstitious.” He winked at her. “Did you see it when we made love the other night?”

“Actually, I saw it when I undressed you. You know, the night I drugged your champagne.” Daisy could feel a flush creep her up her cheeks.

“I knew you drugged me!” He cocked a brow. “You stripped me down, huh?”

“I only took off your shirt, that’s it!” It felt good to tease, to do something normal.

“You wanted me pretty bad, huh?” he crowed.

“Oh, shut up!”

 “What do you say we stay here tonight?” he asked, as he turned on the spigot and filled the bucket, before squirting some shampoo into it.

“You mean in the barn?”

“Yes,
here,”
he said, and then laughed.
“
Of course, in order to stay, you gotta be on your best behavior. You can’t be tryin’ to feel me up while I’m asleep, a man needs rest.”

Daisy grinned.

 “But first, we gotta get Cash squared away and you’re gonna help me.” He hosed the horse off, washing the sweat and salt away. “Go ahead. Grab up a sponge and let’s start cleaning,” he directed.

He set the bucket down beside Cash and they each took a sponge, soaping him up. She’d never been this close to a horse before, but Cash was a gentle giant. The animal loved the bath, holding his head up, so they could scrub it. And she noticed he leaned into her touch as she washed his sides.

Cowboy petted him and told him what a good horse he was and she suddenly realized he found caring for the horse therapeutic, the tension in his body had released and his expression softened. She had a feeling Cash had gotten him through a lot of his grief. And she had to admit, the horse had the same effect on her. She felt like her burden had been slightly lifted.

After they finished hosing the horse off, and wiping the excess water away, they placed him in a clean stall with a blanket and some fresh feed and water.

Then, Cowboy grabbed a couple of clean horse blankets and they climbed the ladder to the loft. He threw the blankets over the straw and she laid down beside him, closed her eyes and listened to the night.

She could hear crickets singing, frogs croaking from the lake, and Cash crunching on his food. It was quiet. No hum of traffic passing by, no other people around.

Neither of them spoke.

Cowboy placed his chin on the top of her head and patted her back, as she curled into him. She could hear the steady beat of his heart under her cheek, his deep and even breaths. She’d never felt this close to anyone in her life and it didn’t scare her nearly as much as it should have.

She suddenly realized Cowboy bringing her to this place had been a big deal. She didn’t get the impression he shared Cash with just anyone. Tears came to her eyes, but this time she didn’t blink them away or ignore it.

 “That’s it,” he murmured. “Let it all go.”

And she did.

Daisy cried for Rose and for her mother. She sobbed for Cowboy and the loss of his family, and for the friends she’d lost in combat. And finally for herself and the terrible things she’d seen things that kept her up at night.

And when she cried herself out, he kissed her, and tasted the tracks of her tears. “I’ve got you, Daisy,” he murmured. “You aren’t alone.”

Then, his lips met hers and the atmosphere changed.

With a low moan, he kissed his way down her neck, to the hollow of her throat. He licked her there, nipped at her collarbone, before he kissed his way between her breasts, and down to her waist. He pushed up her shirt, and nuzzled her breasts.

“I could have lost you today,” he murmured against her skin. “Junior might have killed you.”

“I’m here. I’m alive.”

With a cry, he pushed her breasts over the cups of her bra and sucked one of the nipples into his mouth and she cradled his head as he pulled on it. It was both soothing and sexual. She threaded her fingers through his hair and held him there, relishing his touch.

 After he’d lavished attention on both breasts, he smoothed his hands down her sides and undid the button on her jeans. With his help, she shimmied out of them. He dragged the fabric down her legs, taking her panties along with it. Then he shucked off his own clothes and rolled them both over on their sides.

She could feel his hard cock pressing into the small of her back. Right now, even the scant inches between them felt like too much. She needed him inside her, flesh to flesh.

With a growl, he slid his cock between her legs from behind, thrusting against her pussy lips. Panting, he arched his hips, angling them so he grazed her clit. She stroked the head as it appeared between her legs.

“I don’t have a condom with me, Daisy,” he muttered as he cupped her breast from behind, tugged her nipple.

 She placed a hand on his thigh, squeezing it. “I don’t care,” she moaned. “I want you inside me.” She couldn’t take anymore. She needed this, needed him. She wanted to feel alive again, wanted to feel
whole.
Somehow, Cowboy made her feel complete.

Cowboy echoed her thoughts. “I can’t take anymore. I need you.” With a growl, he pushed inside her, full force and she groaned at the thick intrusion. He held on to her hips and then thrust into her steadily.

“Yes!”

He arched up into her, straining. She reached between her legs, played with her clit as he surged deeper and deeper into her. Daisy howled her release and with a groan, Cowboy came shortly after.

***

Afterwards, they turned to face each other and Cowboy held her, tucked in close against his body. It was the best she felt all day. Somehow, he had given her hope as well as solace. Together, they would find Rose.

“Daisy, I need to share somethin’ with you.”

“Sure,” she whispered. Her eyelids already felt heavy. She was close to drifting off.

“But I need to give you a bit of background first. After Melissa and Jake died, I was pretty messed up.” She started to speak, but he pressed a finger to her lips. “Just listen. I started hanging at Perdition, picking fights. I figured sooner or later one of the brothers would take me out back and put me out of my misery, since I was too much of a chicken shit to do it my damn self.”

Daisy understood. On her darker days in Afghanistan, she’d contemplated it too. You could only cope with so much.

Cowboy continued speaking. “Anyway, Shepherd saw right through me and flat out refused. He gave me a real good beat down for the disrespect I’d shown him. Then, he surprised the shit out of me by saying he’d read about what happened in the paper. He said I owed it to Jake and Melissa to live again, and to make amends, instead of the fucking pity party I’d been throwin’ myself. He told me to get clean and sober first, and if I did, he’d let me prospect for the club. And by some miracle, he got through to me.”

She smoothed a hand down his chest.

 “What I wanted to say is this. The club gave me a purpose again, but you are the one who brought me back to life. I’m falling hard for you, Daisy,” he admitted.

She bit her lip, unsure what to say, what to think. “I—”

“Shhh,” he whispered. “You don’t have to say anything back, not right now, at least. You haven’t ever let a man in, or even trusted one enough to feel somethin’ for him. But I want you to know, you can trust me. I would
never
do anything to hurt you.”

“I know, Cowboy.” And she did. Quite simply, he was the best man she’d ever met. He was kind, caring, brave, and loyal to his club and his brothers. And bonus? Sexier than hell.

He propped himself up on one elbow, and placed a leg between her splayed thighs. Once again, she marveled at how well their bodies fit together. “I know you have plans to go to Fort Bliss, but I want you to consider staying here with me. I care for you and I think you feel something for me. We might have something special here. Promise me you’ll at least think about it?”

Cowboy was right, she felt something for him. What that was, exactly, she didn’t have a clue.

She’d thought she had her future figured out. Now, she wasn’t so sure.“I promise I’ll think about it.”

Then, Cowboy brought his mouth to hers once more, and she couldn’t think anymore.

Chapter Twenty-One

The next week dragged by.

She kept having nightmares about Rose. She’d wake up screaming next to Cowboy, shouting for her. He’d reassure her it had only been a dream, but she kept seeing her sister’s tear-stained face, pleading with Daisy to find her, bring her home and for the first time since she’d been a child, Daisy felt powerless.