Hot Christmas Nights (6 page)

“If Trevi Fountain was ever a category on
Jeopardy,
you’d run the table on it,” he teased.

Her admonishing frown was ruined by the amused glint in her eyes. “I told you it’s one of my favorite places in Rome.”

Aiden nodded toward a group of tourists facing away from the fountain and tossing coins over their shoulders. He slipped his hand into his pocket and came out with the coins she’d given him earlier.

“I guess that’s what these are for?”

Nyla nodded. She took him by the hand and tugged until he stood. “Come on. No trip to Rome would be complete without tossing a few coins into the Trevi.”

Once at the metal bar that surrounded the base of the fountain, Nyla captured his shoulders and twisted him around until he faced her.

“Legend has it that you must toss three coins over your shoulder, like this.” She motioned her arm across her chest and over her left shoulder. “The first is to secure a return trip to Rome, the second is to find your true love and the third leads to marriage.”

“So, do you really believe that works?” Aiden asked.

He didn’t know if the sudden redness on her cheeks was from the cold or embarrassment, but he liked it.

“I know it probably seems silly to someone as pragmatic as you are, but it’s nice to imagine that it’s true. I’ll bet you think it’s a waste of a few euros.”

He slowly shook his head. “No, I don’t.”

His eyes still on her, he tossed each coin over his shoulder.

“Here’s to returning to this very spot with the woman I love.” After he tossed the last coin, he brought his fingers to her face and caressed her cheek. “And that when I return, she knows that she’s the woman I love.”

Her lips parted ever so slightly. Soft white puffs took shape with each breath that panted from her mouth.

“Not too many people know this, but there’s a miniature fountain just to the left,” she said. “Legend has it that if a couple drinks from it, they will be forever faithful to each other.”

Aiden brushed his thumb across her lower lip. “I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling pretty thirsty.”

The tourists’ chatter and gurgling rush of the water cascading over the stone fountain dissipated as he stared into Nyla’s eyes. Time suspended, all thought vanished; at this moment, everything else ceased to matter.

His entire body humming with need, Aiden leaned forward and brushed his lips lightly upon hers. At the feel of her soft lips, every dark part of his soul burst into light. His only desire was to remain in this very spot, doing this very thing, for as long as possible.

He cupped Nyla’s jaw in his palms, his fingertips tingling at the feel of her delicate skin. Aiden drew his tongue along her lips, willing them to open. After three long years, the need to experience her unique flavor was all he could think about.

He ran his tongue over the seam of her lips, steadily increasing the pressure with every swipe, until finally her lips parted. A groan of pleasure tore from his throat as he inhaled the sweet taste of her. He’d experienced it only once before, but he remembered every single thing about her kiss. The way her mouth relaxed, the warmth, the suppleness.

He thrust his tongue in and out, stroking the velvet softness, devouring the honeyed flavor. How had he survived without this? Why did he wait so long? It was impossible to imagine going even another day without kissing her like this again.

He held her head steady as he continued to stroke her warm mouth. He fought the urge to pull her flush against the hardness growing below his waist, but the need to connect his body to hers was more than he could withstand.

“Aiden.” She spoke his name against his lips, sending an electric current racing through his veins.

“What is it?” he whispered, shoving his hand into the hair at the nape of her neck.

“We...we can’t do this.”

His chest nearly caved with the wave of disappointment that crashed through him. “Don’t say that, Nyla.”

She pushed against him, breaking the connection. Then she took several steps back, straightening her dress.

Several people gathered around the fountain snickered and clapped, and Nyla’s pretty brown cheeks turned as red as a beet.

Just great
. Their first kiss in three years—their second kiss
ever
—and it happened in front of an audience of strangers.

Aiden took a step forward, but she stopped him, putting a hand up. “Don’t, Aiden. Please don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

“Why are
you
making it so hard? Can’t you feel what’s happening here?”

“Yes, and it isn’t right. I’m not doing this to someone else, Aiden. I’ve been the other woman before. I will not put someone else through that.”

His head reared back.
What?

“The other woman? What are you talking about?”

“You have a girlfriend.”

“What? No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. Before we left my place yesterday, when I asked about the girl in your Facebook pictures, you said the two of you had broken up. When I asked if you have anyone special in your life, you said yes.”

Aiden pitched his head back and pinched his eyes closed.

“Goodness, Nyla. Are you kidding me?” he said, his voice strained. He looked at her again and shook his head. “You never gave me the chance to finish answering you yesterday. If you had, I would have told you that
you’re
the someone special that I’m
hoping
to have in my life. I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Not even one you occasionally date?” she asked.

He shook his head. “I’ve tried to get over you, Nyla. I told myself that it would make life easier if I could just forget those months I spent with you three years ago ever happened, but there is nothing easy about forgetting you.” He closed the distance between them. “I’m starting to think it’s impossible.”

“Don’t,” she said.

“It didn’t matter how smart or beautiful or funny those other women were, not one of them could ever measure up to you.”

She dropped her head. “God, Aiden,” she whispered. “Why are you doing this to me?”

He captured her chin and lifted it until she met his gaze.

His heart pounded against the walls of his chest as he decided to put it out there, once and for all.

“Because I’m in love with you. It doesn’t matter what you say, or what you do. I’m convinced that I’m destined to love you.” He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. “I want you to give us a chance.”

She wrapped her arms around her middle and pulled her trembling lips between her teeth.

“I just don’t know, Aiden. After what happened on my wedding—”

“Forget that one day,” he said, cutting her off before she could bring it up again, as if that one day meant more than all the others they’d shared. He put his hands on her shoulders and stared into her eyes.

“Think about how you felt before your wedding day. Remember what it felt like to stroll around the Ancient Americas Exhibit at the Carlos Museum, or through the tulip meadows at the botanical gardens. Think about that first time you reached for my hand as we sat on the swing in my parents’ backyard.”

She tried to look away, but he wouldn’t let her. Turning her face to his again, he said, “You felt it that night, Nyla, that very first time you reached for me. You knew then that there was more than just friendship between us. I know you did, because it was the first time I saw fear in your eyes. Because you knew what was happening between us.”

“Of course I was afraid,” she said. “You were my fiancé’s younger brother.”

“I was a man who cared enough to learn what it would take to make you happy. I was a man who deserved a chance.” He tucked a finger underneath her chin and tipped her face up. “I still want that chance, Nyla, because even after three years apart there is nothing in this world I want more than to make you happy.”

Her eyes fell shut.

Aiden had to fight the urge to pull her trembling lower lip between his teeth. He could practically see the war taking place within her.

This could all be so simple, if only she would let go of that guilt she still carried.

“Is it really that hard to give yourself permission to be happy?” Aiden whispered.

“I’m trying,” she said.

“At the very least, I want you to admit that you loved me,” he said. “Admit that what I felt wasn’t one-sided.”

She looked up at him, her soft brown eyes swimming with emotion. “I don’t have to tell you how I felt about you, Aiden.”

“I need to hear you say it.”

She sucked in a deep breath, and said, “I loved you.”

Her voice was so small he could barely hear it, but he did, and the pleasure her words set off in his head was as addictive as anything he’d ever felt.

“Thank you,” he whispered against her hair.

He pulled back slightly and looked down at her. “I’m not going to push you, but can we please at least try to stop pretending that we’re just these two friends who knew each other a few years ago, and just happen to keep in touch online from time to time? I can’t go back to that. I need to know that there’s at least a chance that we will finally be together.”

After several weighty moments passed, finally she said, “Yes.”

Aiden wasn’t sure if he believed in Christmas miracles, but he was certain he’d just experienced his first one.

Chapter 5

N
yla rested her head on Aiden’s shoulder as they swayed slowly to the delicate strumming of the serenading musicians on the Piazza Navona. For the first time in a long while—in three years to be exact—she felt light, free, as if a weight she didn’t want to admit to carrying had suddenly been lifted.

Happiness.

That’s what she was feeling right now.

If anyone had dared to suggest that she was anything but happy with the new life she’d built for herself, Nyla would have laughed it off. How could she not be happy? She’d left a job she never truly enjoyed to pursue her lifelong passion in one of the world’s most amazing cities, then had moved to the rolling hills of Tuscany, with its gorgeous landscapes and rich history. She was living a dream.

But it wasn’t
her
dream.

Her dream had never been to live so far away from her family and everyone she loved. No matter how adept she’d become at convincing herself that she was happy here in Europe, Aiden’s dogged prodding had forced her to own up to the truth.

For the past three years, she had been living a lie.

She’d lived the lie for much longer than these past three years. Every time she’d told herself that she wasn’t falling in love with him, that it had only been overcompensation for the hurt she felt whenever Cameron’s lack of attention would disappoint her, it had all been a lie.

She
had
loved him. And though she still couldn’t bring herself to voice the words, Nyla couldn’t deny the truth nestled deep down in the well of her soul.

She
still
loved him. She had never stopped.

The musicians strummed one final, haunting note before taking their bow. She and Aiden, along with several other couples who had joined in dancing under the stars twinkling high above the popular square, tipped the musicians with several euros before reclaiming their seats in the outdoor dining area of one of the piazza’s many restaurants. Aiden and Nyla both declined dessert, opting to grab something at one of the booths that lined the square.

“So, this is something special that they do just for the holidays?” he asked as they strolled past a booth selling handmade tree ornaments in red, green and white.

“The vendors selling paintings and postcards and the other touristy trinkets are always here, but these booths are known as the Christmas Market. This is just one of the things you get to experience being in Rome at this time of year that most tourists don’t.”

They came upon a booth with a collection of wooden puppets on one side and scraggly, witchlike dolls propped up on the other.

Aiden picked up one of the witches. “I can understand the Pinocchio dolls, but why would anyone want to give the Wicked Witch of the West as a Christmas gift?”

“That is the Befana,” the vendor said in heavily accented English, holding another out to Nyla.

“Oh, yes,” Nyla said. “Guido bought several of these for his grandchildren. It’s another bit of Italian folklore,” she explained. “She isn’t a witch, despite the black cape and broom. The Befana delivers treats for the children just before the Feast of the Epiphany.”

“It would creep me out if I unwrapped a present and found this,” Aiden said, setting the doll back on the display shelf. “Makes me appreciate the Transformers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles I got for Christmas even more.”

Nyla shook her head in amusement as they continued on. They browsed several presepe stalls, with their hand-carved nativity pieces, and several other vendors selling delicate blown-glass ornaments.

“You never told me what your favorite Christmas tradition is,” she said. Aiden looked over at her with a curious dip to his brow. “Last night, we were discussing our favorite Christmas traditions, but we never got around to yours.”

“Ah, yes.” Lightly swinging their clasped hands between them, he said, “My favorite tradition was opening presents on Christmas morning. I think my parents recognized that Cameron commanded so much of their attention throughout the year that they tried to make up for it at Christmas. I pretty much got anything I wanted. I still regret not asking for something really cool, like a rocket simulator or something like that.”

Nyla’s shoulders shook with her laugh. “What was your very favorite gift?”

His mouth curved in a wistful smile. “A pair of used sneakers.”

“
Used
sneakers?”

Aiden nodded. “A gift from Cameron. They were the sneakers he wore during the high-school basketball championship game his senior year. He was named MVP. I wanted those sneakers so badly, but I never said anything. Somehow he knew. He gave them to me for Christmas that year, and I wore them all throughout high school.”

A deep ache pierced Nyla’s chest. “I ruined your relationship with him, didn’t I?”

“No, Nyla. Cameron and I were never all that close. I looked up to him at one time, but once he was drafted into the NBA and became a cliché, I just couldn’t respect him.” He shook his head. “I really don’t know what you ever saw in him.”

“I fell for the charm,” she said. “Like so many other people, he won me over with that larger-than-life personality.”

“You’re just so different from all the other women he ever brought home.”

“That’s why I thought things would be different between us, that
he
would be different. I had no illusions about your brother, Aiden. I knew he was a player, and not just on the basketball court. Maybe I was naive, but I really thought that I could tame the great Cameron Williams.”

Aiden snorted.

“I know. It seems
really
naive now that I think about it. Not just naive, I was stupid to think I could change him.”

“Cameron was the stupid one. Not you. He’d always been a bit of an ass, but I blamed that on his coaches and all the people that used to hype him up. People began treating him like he was some basketball god before he even started high school. But once he was drafted into the NBA, it just grew to a ridiculous level. I pretty much gave up on having any type of meaningful relationship with him after that.”

“I wonder if he realizes what he’s missing out on,” she said.

The moment the words left her mouth, Nyla was struck by how closely they applied to her own life. She had been missing out on the same thing.

Aiden hadn’t missed the irony, either. “I won’t point out the obvious,” he drawled.

“It’s not necessary,” she said.

He rubbed his thumb along the sensitive spot on her inner wrist. “You don’t have to miss out on it any longer, Nyla. Just say the word.”

If only it were that simple
.

Nyla entwined her fingers with his, giving his hand a squeeze, hoping he understood the words she couldn’t yet bring herself to say.

Half an hour later, they sat on a stone bench on the Piazza del Popolo. The oval piazza was one of the highest points in Rome.

“You were right,” Aiden said as he stared up at the clear sky. “Even with all the famous sights I’ve seen today, this is my absolute favorite part of the tour.”

“I told you you’d enjoy it,” Nyla said. His love for astronomy was one thing he’d never hidden from anyone. Every time she’d come here on previous trips, she’d thought about how much Aiden would love it.

She huddled closer to him on the bench, her head tipped back as she, too, looked at the stars above them. “How perfect that with all the cloud cover we had today, the sky would be so clear tonight.”

“I’d like to think you ordered it up just for me.”

She laughed. “I’ve made a few connections over here in Italy, but I’m not
that
well connected.”

“The way the city lights reflect off the snow, it makes it look as if everything is sprinkled with diamonds. And the stars.” He tipped his head back again, looking at the crystal clear sky, peppered with twinkling stars high above Rome. “How often do you come out here?” he asked.

“Every time I visit. It’s the best place in all of Rome, maybe in all of Italy, to look at the sky.” She hesitated for a long moment, before admitting, “It took me a while to realize that I did it in order to keep a connection to you.”

Aiden’s gaze shot to her.

Nyla wrapped her hand around the crook of his arm, securing her hold on him as she snuggled even closer in the cold.

“I would often wonder—hope, even—that you were somewhere doing the exact same thing. I would picture you in your parents’ backyard, looking through that old telescope with the duct tape around the barrel. Often, during those times when I was missing home so much that it hurt to even breathe, I would imagine you somewhere gazing at the same stars I was seeing. It was the only thing that would bring me peace.”

“That’s what’s special about the stars,” Aiden whispered. “Even thousands of miles away, there’s always that connection.” He lifted her chin and stared into her eyes. “I’ve lost count of how many times over the years I’ve stared up at the sky thinking about you, Nyla. Those nights we spent together, just like this one, gazing up at the stars. I loved that more than anything. That very first time you joined me, I think that’s when I started to fall in love with you.”

Nyla pulled in a deep breath. She looked away, focusing on the gleaming dome of St. Peter’s Basilica.

“You’re thinking about it, too, aren’t you?” Aiden asked. “About the last time we looked at the stars together.”

She kept her eyes straight ahead, but nodded.

It was a moment that had replayed in her mind more times than she could count over the past three years. It occurred on the night of her twenty-seventh birthday, when Cameron had planned a date at a fancy restaurant in downtown Atlanta. As usual, he’d asked her to meet him at his parents’ because it was a shorter drive than having to cross the city and pick her up at her home in Kirkwood.

But Cameron never showed up. He’d called after being more than an hour late to tell her he’d been held up and wouldn’t make it. Nyla had become used to him standing her up, but had thought he surely wouldn’t let anything come before her birthday celebration.

But, of course, he had. Because, as she later discovered, Cameron had put just about
everything
before her.

Even though he had been under immense pressure preparing for finals, Aiden put his studies on the side for the night and joined her on the wooden swing in his parents’ backyard. He’d lifted a bottle of champagne from his mother’s collection, and they celebrated her birthday underneath the stars.

When she’d kissed him that night, it had felt right.

When he’d kissed her back, it had felt like heaven.

“It wasn’t a mistake that time,” Aiden said in a whisper-soft voice. “Just like it wasn’t a mistake earlier today. When I kiss you, when we’re connected that way, it’s the only time that everything in the world seems right, Nyla.”

A pained moan tore from her throat. “Why must you always say the right thing?”

“Why can’t you ever accept it as truth?” She dipped her eyes, but Aiden wouldn’t let her look away. He took her chin and gently turned her face toward him. “I love you, Nyla. And you love me. We fell in love when we shouldn’t have, but it doesn’t change the fact that it happened. It’s been long enough, Nyla. Whether or not it was right shouldn’t matter anymore.”

“I know it shouldn’t,” she said. “But a part of me feels as if it still does.”

He pushed out a frustrated breath. “I honestly don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to move past this.”

Nyla stretched her legs out and crossed them at the ankles. She did the same with her arms, stretching her hands in front of her before plopping them down on her lap. Finally, she looked over at him.

“Did I ever tell you about the time I won second place in the school science fair back when I was in the sixth grade?” she started. “I probably didn’t, because I was only proud of it for about an hour or so. Because just after lunch period, the principal announced the overall science fair winners on the school intercom. My sister Charlene won the overall prize for the best science fair project in the entire school.

“Just when I thought I’d finally done something to make my parents proud, in swept Charlene. She was a year ahead of me, so I was constantly trying to step out of her shadow.”

“But you told me your parents never played favorites or treated any of you differently,” he said.

“They didn’t, because I never gave them the chance,” she said. “That day I came in second place at the science fair was the same day I decided I would never give my parents a reason not to be proud of me. And I lived up to it. I graduated at the top of my class at Spelman, and excelled in a job that I absolutely hated. It was worth it. All those long hours on the phone making deals—it was all worth it because my parents loved to brag about all of my top Account Executive of the Year Awards.

“You know what they didn’t brag about to their friends? They didn’t brag about my fiancé standing me up at the altar and accusing me of sleeping with his younger brother.”

“Nyla—”

“The look of disappointment on my mother’s face—I think that hurt me more than anything else. You can call me a coward, but it’s the thought of seeing that look on their faces again that has kept me here, Aiden.”

“Your parents have forgiven you, Nyla. You’re the only one who can’t let go of the fact that you weren’t the perfect person you tried to make yourself into. When will you realize that you’ll never be happy until you stop giving a damn about what other people think and start living for
you?
”

“That’s easier said than done, especially when your mistakes have hurt so many people.”

“It’s easier than you think it is,” he said. “All you have to do is decide that you’re going to do it.” He captured her hand and brought her fingers to his lips. “It’s time to let it go, Nyla. We’ve both paid a high enough price for the hurt we caused three years ago. It’s time you forgive yourself and accept that you deserve to be happy. Do you think you can finally find the courage to do that?”

* * *

Aiden did his best to appear calm and relaxed, but on the inside he was a ball of chaotic emotions.

This was it. There was nothing left to say.