Hot Cooking Spanker Wanted (3 page)

I
looked into my coffee and then back to him. “I – It doesn't
matter. I will never bother you again. I promise.”

“
The
thing is that I worry about you, a lot. I know you can do better and
be more if you could just slow down a little. You just get so caught
up in things that you forget yourself. Now, I'm not giving you any
excuses. I'm just saying that you wouldn't do or say things you know
perfectly well that you shouldn't if you would just stop and think.”

Was
he spying on me? That was of course the truth, but how did he know
that? I felt like running out of here screaming 'stalker'.

“
What's
wrong, don't you agree?” He took a sip of his coffee.

“
I
was just wondering how you got the idea, that I don't stop and
think?”

He
smiled and look down so I wouldn't see him doing it. “You told me
you say things in haste the last time you were here, and no one would
say something mean after thinking about it and thinking about the
consequences that such words bring with it.”

Okay
that was true. How did he get so wise?

“
Tell
me, what you said that hurt someone's feelings?”

“
I
didn't. Really I didn't.” I was eager for him to believe me and to
think well of me.

“
Fine.
I understand. That means that you drove too fast again. I don't
understand. We talked about this before. Do we seriously need to
rehash this?” He leaned back in his chair. “I may not know your
name but I do worry about you. I wish you wouldn't take my feelings
so lightly. When you don't listen to me, it makes me feel very
unimportant to you. Maybe you think that because we hardly know each
other that I am going overboard, but imagine me opening the newspaper
one day, and finally finding out your name, as I read about you dying
in the car accident.”

“
Oh.”
I hung my head. I hadn't thought about it that way.

“
Yes,
oh. Sometimes you meet someone and they make a lasting impression on
you. That is the case with us.” He looked a little uncomfortable
admitting that. But as always, I believed him.

He
gave me my usual scolding at the door but this time I got a hug and
the normal kiss on the forehead.

As
always after a visit to him I was a perfect angel. I even caught
myself, trying to figure out what he would say to this or that.

I
thought a lot about him around one in the morning. I was tired and
belonged in bed but I was also in the middle of writing something.
Sometimes I would be good and write myself a note about how I wanted
to continue, and sometimes I was bad and wrote until my head dropped,
and I fell asleep in sitting. I saw his disappointed face in those
moments.

I
had written an e-mail saying goodbye but I thought about him a lot. I
expected to see him out on the town but I never did and I was
looking. I didn't feel like I was being followed either. Things had
been on the up and up with him.

With
time I thought about him less and less. His scolding was starting to
fade, too. I was back to driving like a German and snapping at the
people I loved. My mom had even given me a lecture on the phone
because I had apparently been rude to my cousin at a family wedding.
I rolled my eyes as my mom went on and on.

I
called my cousin to apologize, but her feelings were honestly hurt,
and she didn't want to talk to me. She even hung up on me after
saying that it wasn't her fault that I couldn't find a date for the
wedding, and that I shouldn't take it out on her.

I
cried for days. I felt just terrible. Her words had hit the nail on
the head. That had been the real reason that I was so out of sorts
that day. Everyone else seemed to have found their significant other
but me. Even people who I felt didn't look as good as I did.

Okay,
who looked a lot worse than I did. That could only mean that I had
some gigantic personality flaw. I mean, I was thirty years old and I
had only had one boyfriend years ago. I wasn't even playing the
field. I hadn't talked to a guy at all in years except at work. Okay,
that spanking guy but that had been business too.

There
was definitely something wrong with me. Maybe I just needed a little
sex? No, I wasn't the type to go to a bar and pick up a guy. Plus one
of my books was taking off. I was becoming semi-famous. I didn't want
a bad repetition in the book world. Kids were reading my stuff. I had
to be a good role model. Maybe I didn't have to be, but I wanted to
be.

“
Could
you bring me a cup of coffee?” I asked my agent's assistant. I was
going over the movie rights for my book. They were actually going to
film it.

I
was excited about this but I hated doing all of this paperwork that I
didn't understand. The numbers were all running together in my head.
I was trying so hard to concentrate but I had been up late last night
writing.

I
had written something great, well I was pleased with it, but now I
was so tired that I couldn't think straight.

Bad
timing on my part. I just needed a little coffee to help me through
this business talk.

Her
assistant came in again without my coffee. I asked politely for a cup
again. She nodded and took off. I tried to concentrate, but I was
wondering about my coffee. I was thinking more about just getting it
myself than listening to the numbers that would mean a huge change in
my life. I was going to be rich. I could quit writing and live off
the money the film and books would bring in if I lived wisely.

I
had no intention to quit writing, but it was nice to know. My
thoughts also kept diving into the 'I had no one to share the money
with' area. The old saying about lucky in work and unlucky in love
fit me. I had only slept with my college boyfriend so it had been
years since I – never mind.

I
was thinking about joining a church group and meeting a nice guy,
when the assistant came in again. Again she had no coffee.

“
I
really need a cup of coffee.” I eyed her getting upset.

My
agent looked up over the top of her glasses. “Why is the coffee
being such a problem?” She was ticked too. Usually when I came in
here they all bent over backwards to please me.

“
The
machine is broken,” she admitted.

I
sighed loudly. Was I disappointed. “Well, I'm sure you have more
than one coffee machine in this building. Couldn't you use a
different one.” I didn't mean to sound so mean but it was just so
obvious to me. I was bringing this company in a lot of money and a
mere cup of coffee wasn't too much to ask.

“
Of
course. I'll go get it right now.” She left in a hurry.

“
I
hope she doesn't spit in it,” I murmured under my breath.

“
I'm
sorry about that, Katherine. Don't worry she won't be here next time
when you come in.”

“
Is
she trading to a different department?” One with a functioning
coffee machine, I hoped.

“
I'm
afraid I will have to let her go.” My agent went off listing all
the conditions of the contract.

“
Excuse
me, she isn't going to be fired because of a cup of coffee?” I was
feeling pretty guilty now.

“
Let's
just say that it was the straw that broke the camel's back.” She
went on reading.

The
assistant came in and gave me my coffee. I thanked her,
wholeheartedly. I was a terrible person.

I
went home and sat down in front of my laptop. I couldn't concentrate
on what I was writing. I wrote Ryan an e-mail, telling him what a bad
person I was, and apologizing for using him as my dumping ground. It
had been over a month since we had last seen each other.

I
was surprised when he answered right away. He wrote that he wanted to
see me right now. I regretted admitting that I had also been driving
too fast.

I
drove to his house, asking myself why I was even going over to his
place. I didn't have to but I knew that he would scold me and set me
right for about a week. Would a spanking have longer lasting effects?

I
rang his bell, feeling like this was the principal's office. I had
nervous butterflies in my stomach.

He
opened right away. He wasn't one to keep a lady waiting.

There
was my sarcasm again. It was too warm out for a coat, and I had
usually come in the evening up until now. He didn't have to take my
coat. The routine had been broken. It made this visit feel different.

He
pointed to his kitchen. My coffee was waiting. Maybe he needed a job?
My agent was looking for an assistant who knew how to get coffee on
the table, I mused to myself. Why was I being so sarcastic? Was I
nervous? He had never been anything but nice to me. I still couldn't
imagine him hitting anyone.

He
sighed loudly. “How often are you planning to contact me with your
misdeeds?”

I
was surprised. I had a feeling that he cared and wanted to hear from
me. It had been his idea for me to come here today. “I'm sorry.
You're right. I shouldn't be bothering you like this. I don't know
what I was thinking.” I got up to leave.

“
Sit
down we're not finished.” His tone left no leeway.

I
sat. After the tone he had taken there was nothing else I could have
done.

“
I
think you contact me because you know I have the power to make you
behave as you should and I can make you feel good about yourself
again. But you are just too chicken.”

“
How
would letting someone hit me, make me feel good about myself?” I
demanded.

“
Because
it wouldn't be hitting but a sound spanking that you thoroughly
deserve.”

“
No
one deserves to be hit. There is no reason for that kind of abuse.”
I spat my words right back at him. That I didn't say, 'Put that in
you pipe and smoke it' was a sign of the restraint that I was
exercising at the moment.

He
smiled in a charming way. “Like I said chicken. You come to me as
if I was your priest but I'm not. I'm the guy that lays you over his
knees and spanks you, setting you on the right track again.”

“
No,
really. This is all very ridiculous. I'm leaving.” I got up, gave
my coffee a longing glance and I headed to the door.

He
jumped up and lightly grabbed my wrist. He walked us over to the
sofa. “We can take this as slowly as you need. You just have to
tell me your safe word. We will talk about everything that happened
and I will help you feel better about yourself.”

He
was hypnotizing me with his eyes. He didn't break eye contact as he
sat down on the sofa. “Just come over my lap and we will see where
we go from there.” He gently tugged me down so I was sitting next
to him.

“
I'm
too afraid for something like this,” I admitted to him. His blue
eyes were holding my brown eyes. I just couldn't look away.

“
We'll
take it as slow as you need. You are safe with me. Do you believe
that?”

I
broke eye contact then. I shrugged my shoulders. “Does a person
ever really know someone else?” I sounded so philosophical.

He
gave me a light laugh and then huge smile. “I feel I know you. You
are a very good person who is striving to became an even better
person. You feel you need a little help with that but at the same
time you are one of those women who wants to do everything all by
themselves or they feel weak. You feel if someone helps you it takes
from your accomplishments.”

How
did he know that? He had just described me to a tee. All women
probably felt that way, or at least lots of them, I reasoned with
myself. This was just a trick to get what he wanted. “I have to be
going now.” I tried to pull my wrist away from him but he was able
to hold fast, without hurting me.

“
What's
the point of leaving? You will come back again. Let's get it over
with this time.” He was able to smile at me, look confident, caring
and still look strict all at once. How was he doing that?

He
was pushing me over his lap. I went as stiff as I could and pressed
upwards so I wouldn't bend. He didn't give up.

Now
was the time to come clean that I wasn't a fellow sick-o who liked
this sort of thing. I cleared my throat to speak but nothing came
out. I was too scared to speak. The moment I feared was here and I
didn't have any words that could help me. I was already crying but
not because of the things I had done. I was crying because I was
afraid like a little girl who knew there was nothing that would
happen to save me. Please let someone ring the bell and save me.

He
had me over his lap now. Words surrounded me, but none of them were
of use to me. Words like, live by the sword, die by the sword. And if
you play with fire you will get burned. Yes, that fit better.

He
knew that I was crying. He was talking very softly. I tried to
concentrate on what he was saying but I just couldn't. I was even
shaking. He had to realize that I wasn't up for something like this.

“
Shh,
I'm here. I got you. Everything is alright.” He was repeating those
words, trying to calm me down but I wasn't even close to calm. A
thousand different thoughts were still going through my head. Some
thoughts dealt with calling for help if my voice ever returned,
others on just fighting him off, and another thought, where I asked
myself what underwear I had on today.