Hot in Here (23 page)

And he’d come on to her. One minute more, and he’d have had her stretched out on the bed, his hand in her panties, his mouth on her breast....

His timing couldn’t have been worse, but God, it infuriated him whenever she ranked him in the same category as Weston. Hamilton had a load of respect for Weston Amery as a military officer, but very little for him as a father.

How in hell could a man ignore his own daughter as thoroughly as Weston had?

She’d never been a priority in his life, and once Liv’s mother had passed away, she’d lost her father, too. Weston had quit any pretense of paternal regard beyond the occasional criticism, and had thrown himself into his field operations. Career military—yeah, that described Weston all the way. Only he’d made career military seem like a nasty thing to Liv, an excuse to disregard family obligations when nothing could be further from the truth.

The military husbands and wives that Hamilton knew were
more
dedicated,
more
caring, because experience had taught them the value of family. They knew exactly what they missed while on assignment. They knew the hardship their partners endured, the number of responsibilities that they carried alone. It was all tough, but for them, separation was by far the greatest trial in serving their country.

Because of what they saw and did during wartime, they lived with a reality that few civilians ever had to face. They understood how easily a loved one could be lost, and they compensated by pouring more attention and affection on their wives, husbands and children. They didn’t take their lifestyles for granted, and they couldn’t be complacent about the gifts in their lives.

But thanks to Weston and his callous attitude toward his own daughter, Hamilton was stuck trying to work his way past her understandable prejudices against the air force.

He had two weeks. Fourteen lousy days to make her understand that they belonged together.

Hell, they were both of an age that they should have settled down. Hamilton knew why he hadn’t. Other women could relieve a temporary ache. He could lose the sexual edginess, but the awful loneliness remained because Liv Amery was the love of his life, a woman who’d taken up residence in his heart.

She was stronger than she realized, too. She had the balance of backbone and empathy necessary to be a lieutenant colonel’s wife, to pick up the familial slack when duty took him away from home. She had enough guts to weather the storms of war, and the loyalty to wait, to pray and worry, and accept him when he returned.

But he loved her enough to want to spare her that.

Yet, given that, at twenty-seven, she’d never had a serious relationship, Hamilton had to believe she loved him, too.

His Liv was stubborn; she had that in common with her dad. She was also beautiful, inside and out, another fact to which she seemed oblivious. Again and again, his gaze was drawn to her. Seeing her seated rigidly as far from him as she could get in his rented car put an ache in his heart, and expanded his determination.

Pale brown hair hung to her rounded shoulders, tangled by the wind and her own frustrated hands. Red highlights glinted beneath the sunshine, though Liv always denied any red in her hair. Her eyes looked bluer than ever after the rush of tears. Her lips were puffy, her cheeks blotchy...and he wanted her so much, restraining himself took Herculean effort. He’d given his body to other women, but never his heart. And until he could give Liv both, he wouldn’t feel complete.

Thank God for the aviator sunglasses that hid his innermost thoughts. Liv had always been able to see through him. One look and she’d know what he wanted and how he intended to get it. Ruthless—that could describe his current frame of mind. But damn it, he’d waited long enough. He couldn’t wait anymore.

All he needed was some reassurance. Before he spilled his guts and made melodramatic vows of lifetime love and commitment, he wanted her to admit to her own feelings.

He needed that much in exchange for what he intended to give up.

Luckily, she’d paid no attention when he’d dropped his key at the front desk, or when he’d put his bag in the back of the car. He knew she’d assumed he’d stay at the motel, but no way would he keep that much distance between them. He’d missed her so much that he wanted to take advantage of every second of his two weeks’ leave.

But he didn’t want to take her completely by surprise with his plans. Tightening his hands on the steering wheel, he said, “Liv?”

“Hmm?”

Her disinterest and distraction cut him, and made his words harsher than he’d intended. “When we get to your house, I’m coming in.”

Her head turned and she stared at him with a mixture of incredulity, annoyance and...need. “Whether I invite you in or not?”

“That’s about it.” Needing to touch her, he reached out his hand and left his palm open, waiting, and finally her small hand slipped into his. The sign of acceptance gave him hope and turned his voice gruff. “You shouldn’t be alone right now. I want you to eat. Rest.” He squeezed her fingers. “I want to be with you.”

She hesitated. “I’m surprised an important man like yourself could get two weeks off.”

Was that sarcasm in her tone, or did she maybe understand just how much red tape he’d gone through to be with her? As second in command of a squadron, he had plenty of responsibilities on his plate. But Liv always came first in his heart.

Whenever possible, he wanted to be with her. “You know the routine. It’s typical to send a commander, a doc and a chaplain. I filled in as commander.”

Her gaze still on him, she said, “The doctor and chaplain aren’t needed.”

“You never know.”

She ignored that to say, “But you were closer to Dad than I was, so it makes sense for you to want the duty.”

Anger surfaced, and Hamilton corrected her with a growl. “I came for
you,
Liv, not Weston.” When she remained quiet, he took his eyes off the road to glare at her. “Damn it, do you honestly think I’d let anyone else tell you? Do you think I’d do that to you?”

Her bottom lip trembled, making him regret his temper. Then she shook her head. “No.” Her eyes were huge, accepting but sad, her voice no more than a whisper. “You wouldn’t do that.”

His damn heart constricted. “Liv, baby, I’d stay longer if I could, but you know that’s not possible.”

He waited for her to ask him about his duties, about the current assignments that would keep him away. She didn’t. He knew she resisted asking because she didn’t want to worry.

And she didn’t want to further their involvement into intimacy.

“Liv...”
Her name emerged as a word of warning, a signal of his frustration.

“I understand, Colonel.”

“You don’t.” He squeezed her fingers again before releasing her. “But before I leave here, you will.”

“Is that reassurance, or a threat?”

“Just plain fact.”

They made the rest of the short, silent drive along narrow, tree-lined country roads, over a two-lane bridge that spanned a swollen creek, past a family-owned grocery store and a textile plant, until finally Liv directed him down the road to her home.

The houses were small, most of them well-kept but older and situated near to the street. Enormous elms and maples spread leafy branches to form a canopy from sidewalk to sidewalk. Birds darted around and squirrels scurried across phone wires. Ham noticed at least three antique shops, and the post office flew a flag from a towering pole. Farms butted up alongside businesses.

Life, laughter and enthusiasm burst from the area.

And Hamilton felt regret, because this was what Liv had always wanted, and he intended to take her away from it.

“That’s my house right there.”

Hamilton slowed the car to turn into the narrow gravel driveway as she indicated. The drive wrapped around to the left of the home, leading to an aged one-car detached garage, but Hamilton stopped, still facing the front porch.

Damn.

Surprise left him all but speechless.

“It’s...”
Exactly the type of home he would have chosen for them to live in.

The small, two-story structure could use a little work, but otherwise it looked well loved. Homey, like Liv.

A knot of uncertainty settled in Hamilton’s gut.

Knowing all of Liv’s hopes and dreams, he’d counted on the lure of a house to help sway her to his plans. But even an idiot could see that Liv had set down roots, and knowing how important that was to her, getting her to move wouldn’t be easy. He turned off the car and sat there, staring at the steep roof and its display of loose, damaged shingles, the wraparound porch in need of fresh paint and the tall trees begging for a good trimming.

As a full-time teacher, there were things Liv didn’t have time for, things she couldn’t afford and things she couldn’t do on her own. He’d help her during his visit, and enjoy doing so.

But there were other things, like the sparkling clean multipaned windows. And wind chimes hanging from the porch. And a fat, floral wreath on the door. He hadn’t expected...what? That she could truly be content without him?

He’d come here with the staunch belief that he’d finally have her for his own. When he set his mind to something, he never failed.

Now, failure loomed, and damn it, he didn’t like failing.

Liv turned toward him. “Daddy never saw it. I sent him a letter, telling him I’d moved. But I never heard back. I think he was on assignment somewhere.” Her shoulders lifted and fell, and she took a deep breath. “Now he’ll never get to see it—and I’m not even sure he would have wanted to.”

Swallowing damn near hurt because it felt like he had to swallow some of his own arrogance, his own confidence. “It’s nice, Liv. Real nice.”

“Then what’s the problem? You look annoyed.”

Hamilton shook his head. “You’d accuse me of being an ass if I told you.”

Her smile quirked on one side. It was a smile he recognized, and one he’d missed. “Odds are I’ll accuse you of that even if you don’t fess up.”

“True.” He smiled, too, but when he touched the side of her face, feeling her warmth, her vitality, his smile faded away. “I’ve looked at a few houses lately, too. It’s uncanny how much your home resembles the ones I liked best.”

Her beautiful blue eyes widened. “You...you looked at houses?”

“Yeah.” He curled his hand around her neck, under the silky fall of her hair. “God knows I want you happy, Liv, but I guess I just hadn’t expected to see you so settled in.”

Her breath shivered, her eyes closed. And abruptly she turned away, jerking the door open and lurching out of the car. Emotional to the core, she slammed her door and hurried up the walkway to her front door.

Hamilton dropped his head back against the seat with a groan. But he didn’t linger in disappointment long. If he did, she might lock him out. He caught her on the first step of her porch. Restraining her with a gentle hold on her arm, he chided, “Stop running from me, Liv.”

She whipped around to face him, her eyes no longer sad but filled with fury. “Then stop making me sorry. Stop making me want things I can’t have.”

His heart skipped a beat. Anticipation tightened his muscles. Holding her gaze with his, he ordered, “Tell me what you want.”

She punched him in the shoulder—the equivalent of a fly landing. But what she lacked in physical force she made up for with antagonism. “You know damn good and well what I’m talking about.”

He caught her upper arms, overcome with a turbulent combination of fury, hope...desperate need.
“Tell me anyway.”

Going on tiptoe, she said, “Yes, sir, Colonel Wulf.”

Her sarcasm pricked his frayed mood and his spine stiffened. “Liv...”

“First and foremost, I want a life free from worry.”

Leave it to Liv to want the impossible.

Shaking his head, Hamilton said, “Ain’t gonna happen, Liv, no matter how you dodge me. Everyone has worries, about money, about family, about job security. It comes with being alive, with being cognizant of our surroundings and our own mortality.” Ham caressed her shoulder. “I know how hard it is. Wives worry about their husbands—and husbands worry about their wives. But the military does the best it can to ensure everyone can at least feel safe from the violence that plagues a lot of other countries.”

He didn’t mean to preach, but for as long as he could remember, he felt unwavering pride in his country and the armed forces that kept it strong and kept it free. In his younger days, he’d thought about joining the army or the marines. Then, when he was fourteen, he joined the Civil Air Patrol and got his first chance to fly an airplane.

Instantly hooked, he changed his focus to the air force.

When he met Weston, he also met Liv. In time, his love of the air force grew, as did his love for Liv. Now at thirty-seven, nothing had changed. He still wanted them both. He’d never stop wanting them.

With bitterness reeking in her tone, Liv said, “I know all about the military, but my perspective is just a little different from yours. I know about wishing my dad could be home on my birthday, or when I was sick, or when I just missed him and didn’t want to be alone.”

“He should have been there.” But a variety of missions had kept Weston away. Since he often couldn’t be there in person, he should have at least been there in spirit. A card, a gift...

He’d never made Liv a priority. He’d never attempted to make his time away easier on her. He’d never let his daughter know that he cared, that he thought of her and worried and wanted what was best for her.

Liv made a rude sound of disagreement. “Air Force Intelligence had more important duties for Dad than placating a whiny little girl.” Duties that put him at an awful risk. “Some of the places he went to were terrifying, and he stayed there for so long that there were times when I went to bed at night that I wouldn’t know if he was dead or alive.”

“That was Weston’s choice, honey, not a code of military conduct.”

An angry laugh preceded angrier words. “When I asked him about it, when I told him I missed him, he accused me of being selfish.” Big tears swam in her eyes and she furiously blinked them away. “He made me feel so...so...” When her voice broke, so did Ham’s heart. “I felt guilty for wanting him to spend time with me.”