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“I was always rather skeptical,” she said,
trying to feel her way through to an answer, “when people talked
about so-called life-changing experiences. My own view was that
people don’t change very much after childhood. They do in
superficial aspects, of course. But not in their essence. As far as
I was concerned, in all material ways we’re programmed for life by
the time we walk in the door of elementary school. I certainly
believed I was.”

She paused, taking in his silence and his
grim features. He probably thought she was giving him a lecture,
but she forced herself to carry on. “But now I have to believe that
real change is possible. Look at me. In a million years I never
thought I could do all the things I’ve done this week, and that
includes the stupid ones,” she said defiantly as he stared at her
with incredulity. “I know it’s easy to be skeptical. Am I really
different now, or am I just acting that way for the moment? Are all
the old patterns going to come back when I land at O’Hare? Maybe.
But, honestly, I don’t think so. I’m going to take the things I
learned this week and go forward from here, no matter what happens
after today.”

Nick made a scoffing noise and Sadie realized
she had to do better than that little snippet of self-affirmation.
“Yes, Nick. The answer is yes. I believe I would indeed be able to
find the courage to give up my position and my security if it was
the right thing to do.”

She waited, breathless, while the wheels and
cogs turned in Nick’s head. Finally, with agonizing slowness, he
dropped his napkin on the table and stood.

“That’s great, but I can’t,” he replied in a
cool voice. “It’s been great knowing you, Professor. I really mean
that. You have a safe trip home.” He turned and strode away,
leaving her to make sense of the emotional mess he’d just dumped in
her lap.

* * *

Nick blasted through the doors of the casino,
desperate to get away from Sadie. It felt like he’d taken a direct
shot to the nuts. Metaphorically, he had.

Blacklisting her was one of the hardest
things he’d ever done. True, it wasn’t anything like facing mortar
fire, or navigating a desert road laced with IED’s. But
deliberately hurting someone you care for—especially when it was
unfair and unjust—constituted an emotional cluster fuck of epic
proportions.

Hell, he did more than just care for Sadie.
He’d fallen for her. He’d fallen hard, which made what he’d done
that much worse, and tied his tongue so thoroughly into knots that
he’d made a pretty big hash of the entire discussion. Sadie had
managed a brave, even aggressive, front. But he could tell how
deeply he’d wounded her. Having to play the hangman, as she’d
called it, had cost him any chance of ever seeing her again.

He stopped and stared sightlessly at the rows
of garish, noisy slot machines. Sadie’s accusations had floored
him. Brilliant and perceptive as always, she’d nailed it. He
had
allowed Carson to set his trap and spring it, and then
capitulated to the man’s petty and vindictive order. It was just
the latest in a long line of insults and slights that had hammered
away at Nick’s dignity on a daily basis. What kind of guy allowed
an asshole like the chief to treat him that way?

A guy with a sick mother.

Nick could have reminded Sadie about his mom
and explained his no-win situation, but it wouldn’t have made a
difference. Not to him, anyway, and probably not to her, either. It
might be a damn good excuse, but it was still an excuse. If he had
any pride left, he would have told Carson to shove his orders, and
taken his at chances at finding another job. When had he turned
into the guy afraid of taking risks, or of doing the right thing
simply because it
was
the right thing?

Heaving a sigh, he glanced at his watch. Once
he’d filed a written report for Carson on Sadie’s expulsion, he’d
take the rest of the day as personal leave. He had to bring his
mother home from the hospital at noon, and then he’d spend the rest
of the day with her.

He headed to the elevator that would take him
to the ops center. Soon, Sadie would be gone. God, he would miss
her, and not just because of the great sex. He would miss her
sweet, eccentric charm, her incisive mind, and even the endless
stream of hundred-dollar words. Maybe someday she could forgive
him, but he didn’t see much chance of that happening. When it came
to pride, he figured Professor Sadie Bligh didn’t take a back seat
to anybody.

The slot machines rang and clicked and
clattered away. It didn’t seem to matter where you went in Vegas,
you’d always hear the noise of the slots. Sadie glanced over to the
center of the D-Gates concourse where a dozen or so diehards
squeezed in some last-minute gambling. The rows of McCarran Airport
slot machines were a sorry reminder of what she’d just left behind.
And a reminder of how life could change in only a few hours—a
lesson she should have learned after losing the Eagleton Prize.

Maybe she wasn’t as smart as she thought she
was after all.

After Nick delivered his expulsion notice, it
had taken less than a minute to decide to catch the first available
flight back to Chicago. Cassie had argued with her for an hour,
though, wanting to storm the casino security office and rip Buzz
Carson a new one. While Sadie had thought earlier that she should
at least give Carson a verbal dressing down, it hadn’t taken long
to lose her appetite for what would surely be a useless
confrontation. And after what Carson had done to her, and to Nick,
she might be way too tempted to slug the bastard in the jaw.

Cassie had then suggested staying in town and
moving to another hotel. Sadie felt badly about disappointing her,
but she’d totally lost her taste for Las Vegas. The thought of
rattling around a different hotel for a few more days held no
appeal. All she’d be able to think about would be the sheriff and
how much she missed him, and how she’d been so thoroughly
humiliated during her stay at the Desert Oasis. Better to cut her
losses and salvage as much dignity as she could.

She twisted in the uncomfortable lounge seat
to stare at Cassie, who had her nose in a J.D. Robb novel while she
sipped a Starbucks dark cherry mocha. “You should have stayed,
Cass. I’m going to feel guilty about this forever.”

Cassie raised her eyes from the paperback.
“Well, don’t. Once I knew you’d made up your mind, I wasn’t about
to let you slink back to Chicago all by yourself. We started this
adventure together, and we’re going to finish it together. The way
I look at it, we can come back again once you’ve put this crap
behind you.”

Sadie returned her friend’s smile with a weak
one of her own, knowing that would never happen. Why would she want
to go back to Vegas? She could never see Nick again, and she
couldn’t even gamble. Besides, how long would it take to put the
pain of this trip behind her? She wasn’t sure she had that many
decades left.

Still, she’d learned many lessons here,
including the value of a true friend. “Thanks, Cass. You’re a real
mensch.”

Cassie gave her a light punch in the
shoulder. “Hell, I was about ready to go anyway. You were the one
getting all the action, remember? First you bag Sheriff Studly,
then TinyZ hits on you.”

“Tiny did
not
hit on me,” Sadie said
indignantly. “Thank God, or Nick would have murdered him on the
spot and spent the rest of his life in jail. Then who would have
taken care of his mother?”

His mother
.

Her mouth suddenly went dry. She’d been so
self-absorbed she hadn’t even thought about Mrs. Saxon. What an
idiot she’d been! Wrapped up in her own problems, Sadie had failed
to realize that Nick was protecting his mother, and was obviously
prepared to swallow all kinds of crap at work so he could take care
of her properly.

She groaned, dropping her head in her hands.
Nick wasn’t the kind of man who would knuckle under to a bully like
Buzz Carson. And he wouldn’t tolerate an injustice, much less
perpetrate one. That’s why she’d been so confused to see him do
Carson’s dirty work, refusing point blank to help her fight back.
He had to toe the boss’s line because he would never jeopardize his
mother’s well-being.

But why, then, wouldn’t he have tried to
explain that to her, instead of just walking away?

It took Sadie only a minute to figure that
one out, and the answer made her feel even worse than before. Nick
Saxon didn’t really give a damn about her. It had only been a Vegas
fling after all.

* * *

After settling his mom in her recliner, Nick
dumped her small suitcase in her bedroom. He’d unpack it and do the
laundry later, after she was in bed. For now, he just wanted to sit
with her and try to forget all the bad shit, including the fact
that he would likely never see Sadie again.

Although the hospital had told him his mom
would be discharged at noon, he’d arrived at eleven-fifteen. By
twelve-twenty, he already had her home and installed in her beloved
chair, a hot cup of tea on a tray in front of her. Carmen had
already straightened up the house and started making lunch.

The hospital had done a great job, and his
mom’s ankle had suffered no permanent damage. She’d have to wear a
brace for a few weeks, and go back to the hospital regularly for
physiotherapy, but it wouldn’t be long before it was fine again.
The contusions on her face were already starting to fade.
Considering what she’d gone through, she looked pretty good.

He came into the room and pulled over a chair
to sit next to her. Mom smiled at him, then grimaced as she tried
to get comfortable in the recliner. “Honestly, Nicholas, my leg is
fine. I don’t see why I have to wear that darn thing.” She’d been
complaining about the brace since the nurse put it on for the first
time yesterday.

“It won’t be too long, Mom. You’re going to
be dancing again soon,” he joked as he took her hand.

She rolled her eyes in reply, but gave a
little snicker. This was going to be one of her completely lucid
days. Their frequency had been slowly but steadily decreasing, but
today Sarah Saxon gave every indication of being her sharp,
demanding old self.

“What are you doing here, anyway?” she asked.
“Why aren’t you at work? It’s Thursday, isn’t it? Thursday’s a work
day.”

“Mom, I took some personal time so I could
bring you home from the hospital. And spend some time with
you.”

“That’s nice, Nicholas, but I told you I’m
fine. And Carmen’s here, so you can get yourself right back to work
as soon as you have your lunch. Your father wouldn’t have liked you
to be goofing off. You know how he felt about that sort of
nonsense.”

Nick chuckled. Today was a
very
good
day. His mother was ragging his ass, and that made him happy. Her
memory would be better today, too. Often, she couldn’t remember a
conversation from two minutes ago, but could recall every detail
from something that happened twenty or thirty years earlier. “Mom,
can I ask you something?”

She gave him a curious look. “Of course,
dear.”

“This happened a long time ago, but do you
remember Dad getting into a couple of fights with my boss, Buzz
Carson?” He was pretty sure she’d remember that Carson was his boss
now, but said his name just to make sure.

Her eyes studied him carefully. She had
stunning gray-blue eyes, still unclouded by age. His father often
said they reminded him of a churning winter storm, and that her
personality matched her eyes.

She nodded without hesitation. “Oh, yes, I
remember that very well. Your father never told me about all that
silly business, though. I had to worm it out of Dorothy Webb
later.”

“Right, Mr. Webb and I talked about that.”
Nick hesitated briefly, but he really needed advice. And, until
she’d gotten sick, his mother always gave the best advice on the
planet. “We think Carson’s trying to fire me out of revenge for
what Dad did to him.”

She gripped the arms of the recliner in her
slender hands. “That jackass is trying to fire you? My God, he
always was an idiot, but what kind of man would hold a grudge all
these years?”

Nick gave her a wry smile. “Carson’s making
it impossible for me to work there and still retain any dignity.
I’ve been thinking seriously about quitting the Desert Oasis,
but...” He let the words trail off.

She didn’t say anything right away, just
gazed at him. His mother had always been able to penetrate into the
depths of his eyes and know precisely what he was thinking. It was
impossible to keep secrets from her, and right now that was a
relief.

After a bit, she gave her head an impatient
shake. “Well, I know what your father would say. He’d say, if you
don’t have your dignity, then you don’t have anything. And he’d
also say that you should do what your heart tells you,
Nicholas.”

He struggled to find the right words to
explain what he’d been going through. “I’m not all that worried
about finding another job, even in this economy. And I’ll work two
jobs, if that’s what it takes for us to get by. But if I quit, it
could mean changes to your care, and I’m really worried that I
wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with you.”

She waved a hand as if dismissing what he’d
said as pure nonsense. “Oh, don’t be crazy. You’ve got better
things to do than spend all your time with me.”

He grimaced. “Mom, come on—”

She cut him off. “I know what you’re
thinking. I know what you’re afraid of. I’m afraid, too, but
there’s nothing either of us can do about it. You have to live your
life and stand up for what you believe in. That’s how your father
and I raised you, isn’t it?” She took his face between her cool,
smooth palms. “The one thing that would make me unhappy is to know
that
you’re
unhappy. If you do what’s right for you, then it
will be right for me, too. And if you want to tell Buzz Carson to
shove his damn job, you certainly have my blessing.” She beamed as
she uttered the final few words.