Hothouse Flower (31 page)

Julia raised an eyebrow. ‘Admire me? Hardly, Alicia. I’m always in such a mess and you’re always so together, sorting me out.’

‘That’s simply our different personalities. And let me tell you, I honestly don’t think I’d have survived what you’ve been through. Yes, I’m very organized, so I can run a house and a family and life. But put me in your shoes and I’d be completely broken.’

‘Would you?’

‘Yes, I would.’ Alicia nodded vehemently. ‘Anything off the tracks, and I know I couldn’t cope. It scares me sometimes, the thought of it, it really does.’

It was rare to see Alicia vulnerable and it made Julia feel churlish for her resentment. ‘You’ve been wonderful too, Alicia. Thank you for everything. If you ever fancy a quick trip to France, you know you’re always welcome.’

‘I’d love it, but I can’t see it happening personally, can you?’ Alicia waved her hand around her immaculate kitchen. ‘What? Mum going away? Their little worlds would fall apart,’ she smiled.

‘Well, the offer’s there, anyway.’

‘Thanks. So, all packed?’

‘Yup. Took me all of ten minutes. Is Dad still here in Norfolk? I should go and say goodbye.’

‘He was in London, preparing for his trip to the Galapagos when I last spoke to him, but give him a call,’ advised Alicia. ‘What about Elsie and the other half of the story?’

‘Actually, I thought I’d leave that to you. Why not take a trip down to see her sometime? She’d love it.’ The last thing Julia wanted just now was to hear further Crawford intrigue.

‘I will. Are you going to say goodbye to Kit?’

Julia’s eyes blazed. ‘No. I think he’s rather busy at the moment, don’t you?’

‘I … don’t know,’ Alicia replied weakly. ‘Well,
bon voyage
, little sis,’ she added, and Julia allowed herself to be enveloped in a hug. ‘Please, please, keep in touch this time.’

‘I will, and thanks for everything, really.’

‘You know I’m always here for you, Julia.’

‘Yes. Bye, Alicia. Give my love to the kids.’

On her way home, she listened to half of a new message from Kit, wondering whether she’d received his last message. She gave another loud ‘Hah!’, deleted it and switched off her mobile.

*

The next day, Julia sat out in the weak sunshine of the pub garden and called Elsie and her father, to tell them she had decided to return home. Elsie, recovering from a lesser version of Julia’s flu, could hardly speak, and George’s mind seemed to be already in the Galapagos Islands.

‘Going home, darling? To the cottage? Good, good. Lovely to hear from you.’

‘No, to France, Dad,’ Julia explained patiently, used to his vagueness when he was preparing for a trip.

‘Oh, I see. That’s the spirit! Got to get back into the swing at some point. And back to that piano too.’

‘One step at a time, Dad,’ Julia cautioned.

‘Yes, of course. Well, I’m off this weekend. If you’re back on email, I’ll keep in contact as usual. Though what communications are like out there, I’ve no idea.’

‘Keep safe, Dad.’

‘And you, darling. Just remember, I’m proud of you.’

‘Thanks, Dad. Bye.’

‘Goodbye, darling.’

As Julia ended the call she saw a text from Kit had come through. She pressed delete without reading it and finished her glass of wine and sandwich, thinking about tomorrow and the next difficult step of her journey. Now that it was imminent, she was dreading it. As she strolled back to her cottage, Julia pondered whether she
was
ready to leave. However irritating she found Alicia’s clucking attention, it had provided a sense of security.

Back in France, she’d be on her own with the memories.

But what choice did she have? There was nothing for her here, nothing.

29

By eight that evening, the hire car she’d used for the past few months had been collected. The cottage was clean and tidy, and the airport taxi booked for seven thirty the following morning. Her holdall was waiting by the door; she was ready to leave.

She looked around the sitting room, suddenly fond of the four walls that had witnessed her distress and provided stoic, if basic, sanctuary when she had needed it most. She stood up, went to the front door and opened it. She breathed in the cool, clean smell of the North Sea, and looked one last time at the boats bobbing in the harbour below.

‘Hello, Julia.’

A voice came out of the darkness and her heart jumped into her mouth.

‘It’s me, Kit,’ the voice said, as a figure moved into the pool of dim light emanating from the inside of the house.

Julia froze. She urged her body to take just three steps backward, shut and bolt the door, and hide behind the sofa until he’d gone. It didn’t respond, so she was stuck where she was.

‘Look, I know you’re leaving tomorrow –’

‘How?’ she barked, pleased that her voice worked at least.

‘I called your sister. When I didn’t hear from you, I was worried.’

‘Hah!’ Julia couldn’t help herself.

‘Julia …’ Kit took another couple of steps forward, and Julia’s arms reached out instinctively to bar the door.

‘Look, I really do think there’s been a misunderstanding. Could I come in and explain?’

‘I don’t think that’s necessary, actually. I understand the misunderstanding, Kit, all too well. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an early start tomorrow and I want to go to bed. Goodnight.’

Julia took two steps inside and made to close the door.

‘Please, Julia,’ Kit reached out the flat of his hand to keep the door open. ‘Just let me explain, even if only so we don’t part on bad terms. I’d hate that, I really would.’

Julia sighed, shrugged her shoulders and relented. ‘If you insist. Five minutes then.’ She turned and walked to the sofa to sit down.

Kit followed her inside and hovered by the fireplace.

‘The reason I didn’t call you last week was because Annie had her baby.’

‘Yes, I know. Congratulations.’ Julia forced a smile.

‘Thank you. I’ll pass that on to her when I next speak to her.’

Julia arched an eyebrow in disgust. ‘Please don’t bullshit me, Kit. I saw the three of you in Holt, looking very cosy. It’s fine, it really is.’

‘Yes, it is fine, Julia, at least now anyway. Look,’ Kit scratched his head in agitation, ‘do you want to hear the reality or would you prefer to stick to the script that the whole of North Norfolk has conjured up for me in the past few weeks? Really, it’s up to you.’

‘Sure,’ Julia shrugged non-committally. ‘If you want.’

‘Whether you’re interested in hearing it or not, I feel I owe you the truth. So,’ Kit sighed, ‘in brief, Annie is a very old and dear friend of mine. Twelve years ago, she helped me through a difficult time in my life. Anyway, she subsequently moved to the States and I visited her quite often. Then last year, she told me she’d finally met the love of her life. I’d never heard her sound so happy. The only problem, as she put it, was that he was a commitment-phobe. She was sure he loved her, but he couldn’t quite take the next step of joining forces domestically, let alone marriage. Then, bingo! Annie finds herself pregnant. She’s thirty-four, carrying the child of the man she loves, and there was no way she was going to terminate the pregnancy.’

‘No. I wouldn’t have done either,’ agreed Julia.

‘Of course, Jed, the commitment-phobe, freaks and breaks off the relationship. Annie is heartbroken and decides the best thing she can do is get away from the memories and concentrate on the pregnancy. So she calls me and asks if it’s okay to come and stay with me until the baby’s born. I say, yes, of course. At the time, I was just moving to Wharton Park and it’s not exactly lacking in space. To be honest, I was glad of her company,’ Kit explained. ‘So, last week, Annie goes into labour two weeks early, and there I am, trying to play the supportive partner role.’

‘That was very kind of you,’ said Julia grudgingly.

‘It was the least I could do for someone who’d been there for me when I’d needed them,’ reiterated Kit. ‘Although I felt like a total fraud. One of the nurses even commented the baby looked like me!’ he chuckled. ‘After Charlie was born, I emailed Jed in the States to let him know he had a beautiful son. And sent a photo I’d taken just after the birth.’

‘Did Annie know you were doing this?’ interrupted Julia.

‘No, she didn’t. But I knew she wanted Jed to be told. And I took a punt on the fact that seeing one’s tiny, perfect progeny might stir the emotions of the most impenetrable heart. And,
voilà
! It did.’ Kit smiled. ‘Two days ago, the real Daddy turned up at Wharton Park, fell instantly in love with his son and is whisking mother and child off to the States to a future of domestic bliss.’

‘Wow!’ Julia breathed. ‘Quite a story.’

‘With a spectacularly happy ending, which makes a change. For now, anyway,’ Kit added cynically.

‘Can leopards really change their spots?’ Julia murmured, almost to herself. ‘I don’t know whether I could have forgiven being abandoned like that. How can Annie ever trust him again?’

‘She has to. She loves him, Julia. And if anything will change those spots, as you put it, a small baby has to be the very best weapon. Add to that a very large diamond ring and a wedding as soon as Annie’s up to it, not to mention a list of appointments scheduled with realtors in Greenwich, and at least you have as positive a new beginning as one could hope for. She’s been brave and taken the leap of faith. I just hope it works out for her. Christ, Annie deserves it. She’s been through hell in the past few months. I did my best, but I was only a poor stand-in for the real thing.’

‘She was lucky to have you, Kit,’ Julia admitted.

‘Even if it meant putting you through unnecessary pain and letting you down. I had to be there for her, Julia, I really did.’

‘Yes.’ Julia stared into the fire for a while. Then she looked up at him. ‘Kit, why didn’t you tell me where you were? At the very least, I thought we were friends.’

‘Julia, Julia,’ Kit shook his head in despair, ‘can’t you see why I didn’t?’

‘No. Sorry, I can’t.’

‘Okay then, I’ll spell it out for you: I vividly remember the pain on your face when you met Annie in the Quad a few weeks ago. Seeing that pain, and understanding it was because you had recently lost your own young son, I thought the last thing you needed was a blow-by-blow account of a woman about to give birth, then bulletins from the hospital telling you how it was all progressing. Or, in fact, being confronted with a tiny newborn baby if you tipped up to see me at Wharton Park. I was trying to protect you from it, Julia, that’s all. I didn’t want to upset you when you were making such good progress.’

‘Oh.’ Julia’s eyes filled with involuntary tears.

Kit stood up and moved to sit on the sofa next to her. He took one of her hands and placed it in his own. ‘I completely admit to being naive and making a hash of it. I’d underestimated this small community, how word spreads, and the fact everyone seems interested in my “goings-on”, as my cleaner referred to it the other day. I’m used to being invisible, you see. I’ve never “lived” anywhere for long, always been a visitor. It’s going to take quite some getting used to. Half the county are raising their eyebrows at me at present, wondering where my “wife” and newborn child have got to.’

‘I can imagine,’ agreed Julia. ‘You did look very “together” when I saw you in Holt. I’m afraid I assumed the same.’

‘As did your sister, who spoke to me earlier as if there was a particularly nasty smell under her nose. Anyway, I accept it was my fault entirely. Perhaps I should have told you, but please believe that I didn’t, out of the best of intentions, really. I wasn’t prepared to lie and say I was somewhere else, so silence was the best option. I’m so sorry, Julia, I really am. In retrospect, I handled it badly. You must have thought me a complete bastard; kissing you and arranging dates one minute, parading a newborn baby around Holt the next!’

‘That’s about the size of it,’ Julia agreed. She could feel she was losing ground, being drawn back into wanting to trust him, believe him. If his story
was
true, it actually made him a very good person on all sorts of levels. And the contrast to her recent negative thoughts was a huge emotional leap to make. ‘Were you and Annie ever … involved?’ she asked quietly.

‘Absolutely not,’ Kit stated. ‘We really are that rare thing which is a close male/female friendship without a hint of sexual chemistry. Annie’s like my sister – or should I say, like the sister I’d have wanted if I hadn’t got Bella! No, I’m afraid I wasn’t Annie’s type at all. She’s always liked the rugger-buggers; all rippling muscles and bulging chests.’ Kit glanced down at his slim torso and grinned. ‘Not me, really, is it? And she wasn’t mine either; far too ballsy. I watched her eat men up and spit them out. Until, of course,’ he added, ‘she met the love of her life. Now she’s a pussycat.’

‘Where did you meet her?’

‘University. We shared a house when I was at Med School in Edinburgh. Until I dropped out, anyway.’

‘Why did you drop out?’