Hourglass Squared (23 page)

"Brooke? Are you awake?" Josh's concerned voice whispered into my ear as his hands gripped my own. The beeping of the machine accelerated in response as if to say,
I'm awake. I'm here.

I blinked my eyes rapidly, desperate to see my husband, to reassure him that I was in fact alive and well. Although I wasn't sure I was well, actually. I mentally went body-part by body-part, assessing each piece of me, assessing my wellness as I started at my toes and travelled up my head. As I reached my belly where my little girl was growing, I paused. Terror tore through me as I felt no movement. No heartbeat. No kick.

"The baby!" I screamed as I shot up from the bed.

"Easy," Josh demanded, grasping me by my shoulders as I tried desperately to regulate my breathing.

In and out. In and out.

Josh's thumbs circled on my skin in a slow soothing motion. "Our little girl is just fine. Her Aunt Savannah is down with her in the NICU."

"The NICU? Why is she in the NICU?" I begged for an answer as my eyes searched the small hospital room for any signs of what had happened in the time since I'd passed out.

"They are just watching her carefully since she was a little early. She has been doing great, eating and pooping. They didn't have to help her breathe or regulate her body temperature."

I took a cleansing breath, relieved that she was okay. My little princess was alive and thriving. My job was complete. My eyes fluttered as sleep took over me once more, and I drifted off.

When I awoke later, the room was cloaked in darkness. Josh's heavy breathing the only sound in the quiet room. I tried to adjust my vision, to look around the room, grateful someone had left to door open a crack, allowing the hall light to stream in. Just then, the door creaked as a tall older woman came bustling in.

"Oh, you're awake," she whispered as her blue eyes met mine and she stepped closer.

"Yes, I just woke a moment ago. What day is it?" I questioned, quietly trying to not disturb Josh.

"It's Thursday, hun. You've been in and out for three days now." She quickly moved her ice cold stethoscope across my body, rhythmically checking my heart rate and breath sounds.

As my scratchy cotton gown drooped down in front, one of my scars peeked out the top, making me cringe.

"Now, now. Don't you hide your battle scars. You are a warrior. I know right now the fight seems long and tedious, but have faith. God knows your heart, sees your battle. He is with you. He breathed life into that precious baby you delivered the other day, and He is holding you and your loved ones up each day as you wage war.

My hand wrapped around my belly where my little girl had been just days ago. "Can I see her?" I begged. Pleaded. I needed to see her tiny hands, her small pouted lips, and her little button nose. "Please," I cried out once more, causing Josh to stir in the recliner where he was curled up.

"Let me just go check with the doctor on call. I see no harm. With your treatment starting tomorrow, you will feel more drained and tired before you feel better." She turned and walked out of the room as I nodded my head.

I'd figured they would start the chemo as soon as the baby was safely delivered. That was always the deal. My hand grew warm as Josh's big hand grabbed it.

"Hey, sleeping beauty," he whispered, leaning down and placing a swift kiss on my cheek. "Trying to stage a break out while I sleep?"

He sat on the edge of my bed as I scooted over to give him more room.

"I just want to see her. Meet her. I have to, Josh." I looked up at him through tear-filled eyes as one trickled down my cheek.

"Hey," he soothed, as his thumb swiped away the moisture on my cheek. "I want you to meet her too. I'll go grab a wheelchair and make sure the doctor sees no problems with it." Josh stood back up and left.

As I waited in my room, the seconds ticked by like hours. I was so nervous. What if they said no? Was I able to get myself down there? Strong enough?

As the door swung open all the way, Josh came in pushing a wheelchair. My getaway car. A smile grew across my face that was uncontrollable. Unrestrainable.

"I can go," I cheered excitedly.

"You can. You get till midnight, Cinderella." Josh's smile matched my own as he put on the brakes.

"Have you been watching Disney movies?" I teased as I let Josh support my weight and shift me to the wheelchair.

The nurse came in and moved my IV bag to the bar attached to the chair, a bright smile on her face as well.

Josh leaned down and kissed my lips as he covered my lap with a pink crocheted blanket. "I figured I should start studying up on my princesses, since we have one of our own now."

"We do, don't we?" I agreed as Josh began to push me out of my dark room and into the light. My hero, always rescuing me.

The nurse walked briskly beside us, trying to keep up. It seemed I needed a chaperone, but I didn't care. The whole floor of nurses could accompany me, so long as it meant I got to meet my little girl.

After the elevator dinged, announcing our arrival on the NICU floor, I was bouncing in my chair, wishing I could grip the wheels and speed the ride up. I was desperate to get there.

Josh pulled me up to a large porcelain sink and turned on the scalding hot water. "You've got to wash like you're going into surgery," Josh explained, as he began intensely scrubbing his own hands and arms.

"Okay, I'm sparkly clean. Can we go
now
!" I groaned as Josh threw away our paper towels.

"Well, aren't you just a little bundle of joy," Josh joked while he opened the door and pushed me toward heaven.

We entered a dimly lit room with a little isolate in the middle. Monitors and machines surrounded the baby bed. Josh pushed me all the way up and locked the brakes. I leaned forward in my seat, careful to shift my balance to my arms as Josh came around to my side.

"Hey, princess, look who I brought to you," Josh cooed as his large finger stroked the most beautiful little hand I'd ever seen.

The baby, my baby, scrunched her face as her beauty sleep was disturbed, making us both chuckle.

"Josh, can I see your phone?" the nurse quietly asked.

As soon as Josh handed her his sleek iPhone, she began snapping pictures of our first family moments. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I watched, overcome with emotions as I saw my baby girl for the first time.

"You know, she needs a name still," Josh informed me just as I reached out to stroke her silky soft skin.

"Hope," I answered without hesitation. "Her name is Hope, because that's what she brings me. With her and her daddy in my corner, I have everything to live for."

Josh nodded as a tear rolled down his cheek. "It's perfect," he whispered as he rested a hand on both of us.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

Savannah

I
T'D BEEN THREE
weeks since Brooke had delivered and was finally able to meet her beautiful baby girl. We'd all been spending time with Hope in the NICU, watching her grow with each passing day. Brooke was even on her third round of chemotherapy, and, from what Dr. Rothchild was reporting, she was responding well to the treatments. Granted, she was still very weak and fragile, but it seemed that things were looking up. Allowing her and Josh to have the morning alone with Hope, Jake decided to take me on a mini-shopping spree now that we knew our squatters were a boy and a girl.

Standing in the middle of the luxury boutique, a woman, who appeared to be newly pregnant, shopped next to me, sifting through a rack of clothes before turning and looking me up and down. Suddenly self-conscious, I did a double-take to ensure that my outfit was put together; admiring my black dress and hot pink high heels, I scrunched my nose and came to the conclusion she was just jealous that she couldn't rock the heels.

"Ma'am, your shoes," she said, pointing.

And my confidence was right back through the roof.

"I know. Aren't they great?" I shoved a pointed toe farther in her direction so she could get a better look.

Her eyes widened. "Your shoes, they're fabulous, but they're wet. I think your water just broke."

I jumped back and looked down at the floor and noticed a small puddle where I'd just been standing. "Jake!" I shrieked.

Jake flew across the boutique and was at my side in no time. "What's wrong?" he begged.

"My shoes! I ruined my shoes."

The lady was still next to me, shocked at what one can only assume was the fact that my biggest concern was my shoes. She reached out to Jake and touched his arm. "I think her water is breaking. You may want to get her to the hospital."

I watched as panic took over Jake's face. "But we're not at home. We don't have our bags. What about the car seats? We're in your BMW. You can't bring babies home from the hospital in a Beemer. This isn't the plan, Savannah."

I took in a deep breath and held it a moment before releasing it. Taking Jake's hand, I linked our fingers. "Deep breaths, we'll be fine. Obviously it's time, so let's get to the car, and you can take me to the hospital." I was shocked at the calmness of my own voice, but it was as if suddenly I was in full control of the situation.

Jake wasted no time, hoisting me into his arms he ran straight out the front door and down the sidewalk, yelling at anyone who was in the way, "My wife's in labor. Move it!"

As he tucked me into the front seat, I couldn't help but giggle at his antics.

Zipping through town, Jake pulled into the labor-and-delivery parking space and ran around to my side, not even allowing me to step out of the way before he scooped me back up into his arms and made a run for the lobby. He burst through the sliding glass doors and shouted at the first nurse he came into contact with, "My wife is in labor!"

She smiled and nodded her head, "Congratulations!" The nurse winked, and I couldn't help but laugh.

Jake's face twisted. "Aren't you going to call a doctor?" he demanded.

I tapped his chest and whispered up at him, "Sweetie, why don't you put me down so we can get ourselves checked in."

He shook his head. "The babies, what if they fall out?"

I couldn't help myself any longer as a loud laugh sailed through me. "They're not going to fall out, I promise."

Jake gently set me down as I began to speak with the nurse. He paced back and forth across the sparkly white floor. A few moments later, the nurse had me seated in a wheelchair and was delivering me to my room, with Jake hot on her heels.

Once I was in bed and all strapped up to the machines, I asked Jake for my phone. "I think I need to call Brooke."

I dialed her number and listened as the phone ring a few times. Her voice flowed through the speaker after the third ring.

"Sav, where are you? I need you here. You promised me that you'd be here the day they released Hope. We finally get to take her home, and you're missing in action."

My heart ached that I wasn't right where I needed to be, with my best friend as she got to bring her beautiful baby girl home, but at the current moment, my body had other plans.

"About that." I hesitated. "I don't think I'm going to be able to make it. I'm sort of at the hospital… in labor."

"I'm coming!" Brooke shouted. "Don't you dare have those babies without me, do you hear me! I'm on my way." I heard her in the background yelling at Josh. "We've got to speed this process up. I need to get to Savannah. She's in labor. Hope is ready to meet her little cousins."

"Brooke!" I yelled into the phone, but all I could hear was her causing commotion in the background. "Brooke!!!"

"What, yeah, I'm here. I'll be there soon. I promise."

Smiling, I did my best to gain control of the situation, "Look, I just arrived. My water still hasn't fully broke. Stay there and get checked out with the baby. As soon as you are finished and have had some time alone at home with just the three of you, Josh can bring you here. I think we've got enough time."

"Sav, don't have those babies without me. Promise me…"

I could hear the tears in her voice.