How High the Moon (35 page)

“Because I was done.” Charlie shrugged. “I heard Teddy say one more thing, though. After the toilet stopped making noise, I heard him say, ‘It’s not that I didn’t believe in your dream. It’s that I didn’t believe in you.’”

I didn’t know what that was supposed to mean and neither did Charlie. There was nothing left to do but scooter and find something good to sing.

The Pop Shop was busy when we got there. Me and Charlie kept getting butted out of the way every time someone needed to get around the candy section to grab a paper or magazine, or what have you, because that’s the rule when grown-ups want something and so do you and your paths are going to crisscross: Grown-ups get to go first.

About the third time we had to move, Pop got cranky and told us to hurry and get our candy and get out. I rolled my eyes. “Let’s forget the penny candy today, Charlie, and each get one big candy. It’s quicker.” Charlie picked out a box of Boston Baked Beans, and I decided on a box of Winstons because I wanted to pretend I was blowing smoke rings.

While I was digging my last payday out of my pocket, a lady at the counter asked Pop if she could buy two tickets for the big show at the Starlight. My ears perked up and I leaned over so I could see around the guy in front of me. “You’re selling tickets for the gala here, Pop?”

“Been selling them for a while now,” he said. “Not like I had any choice. Bloom owns this building. It’s a royal pain in the ass.”

Pop handed the lady two tickets and took her money. She looked at them for a second, then said, “Hmmm. Maybe you’d better give me two more. For my sister and her husband.” Pop’s forehead wrinkled as he counted out two more tickets.

“Hey lady,” I said, as I ditched ahead in line to reach her. “I’m going to be in that show! I’m singing and dancing with the Sunshine Sisters! We’re singing ‘Sisters,’ and wearing dresses just like Rosemary Clooney and…”

The top of Pop’s head turned red as Charlie’s Boston Baked Beans—like it always did when he got mad. “Get back in line, kid, or I’ll throw your scrawny butt out of here!”

I glared at Pop, thief of the Taxi Stand Ladies’ money that he was, and my affliction got the best of me. “I wasn’t trying to weasel my way father up in the line, I just wanted to tell her—”

“Are you talking back to me?” Pop said. “You even think of doing that, and you’ll be putting those candies down where you got them and booted out of here until you learn how to be seen and not heard.”

All it took was for Charlie to hear Pop raise his voice and he was darting out the door. Good thing I was quick and yanked those Boston Baked Beans out of his hand as he went, or he would have been sitting in the clink next to his dad. I slammed both of our
candy boxes on the counter and headed out after him. “Charlie!” I called, as he ran across the road. “Stop! You want to get smacked by a truck again? Pop didn’t mean he was kicking us out
this time
. Only that if… well, never mind. It doesn’t matter now.” (Well, except to my sweet tooth.)

“Hey, I know. Let’s go over to the drugstore and have an ice cream. I don’t know how much they cost, but I know I’ve got enough for at least one sundae. We can ask for two spoons if we have to share.”

“I didn’t ask if I could go there,” Charlie said.

I sighed. “Geez, Charlie. We’ll say that Pop’s place was extra-busy, and it won’t even be a lie. And anyway, it’s your fault that we didn’t get any candy since you ran out. You can ride my scooter so we make better time.”

I talked about the gala the whole way there, telling Charlie about how the Big Sisters were getting fitted today, which meant that the theater would be locked because the older girls would have to get naked to try their dresses on. I added the last part because if I learned anything from hanging around with the Jackson boys, or in taverns, it was that guys perked up and listened if you said the words
naked
and
girls
in the same sentence. Which I figured was about the only way I was going to keep Charlie’s attention, because I think he was getting tired of all my gala talk.

“And did I tell you that they’re going to have some food there, too? Pinwheel sandwiches, I heard, for one. And a great big white sheet cake, flowers the same blue as our dresses.”

I told Charlie about the food part for the same reason I said “naked.” To make double-sure he’d stay listening, so I could keep talking. If I didn’t, I knew I’d go back to wondering why Teddy wasn’t making Ma feel welcome, even though we’d waited five long years for her to come back.

“Hey, Charlie. You think they’ll let me bring my scooter in?” I looked up and down the street, trying to see if there were any potential thieves lurking around.

“Look at that boy down there. In front of the dime store. Does
he look a bit shady to you?” I figured Charlie would be the better judge, him being the son of a jailbird.

Charlie didn’t answer. He just tugged on my shirt, using his cuss finger to point into the drugstore because he had a Pez pinched between his thumb and pointy finger. “Look,” he finally got out. “It’s Teddy and Miss Tuckle.”

“Hold this.” I handed Charlie the handlebar of my scooter and stuck my face up to the glass.

I pulled away from the window and picked up my scooter. “Come on, Charlie,” I said through gritted teeth.

I marched right into the drugstore and stomped across the black-and-white-checkered floor until I reached the booth where they were sitting. On the same side. Even though they had a whole empty seat right across from them.

They each had a strawberry sundae, and Miss Tuckle was scraping the bottom of her stubby dish, where the red juice was puddled. “Right or wrong, Teddy, what choice do you have? One day she’ll under—”

Teddy saw me first. “Teaspoon,” he said, his face going that shocked kind of pale. Miss Tuckle looked up and stopped talking, her head pulling back like I’d taken a swing at her, even though I hadn’t. Even though I wanted to.

“Busted!” I said.

“Teaspoon,” Teddy said. “What are you and Charlie doing way over here?”

“Never mind that,” I said. “What are
you
doing here? You said you were running errands.”

Teddy gave Miss Tuckle a quick glance, then he pointed to the empty side of their booth. “I did run errands. Sit down. We’ll get you two some ice cream.”

“I don’t want to sit down,” I told Teddy. Then I looked at Miss Tuckle. “You said you were only friends. You swore it on a stack of Bibles. Yet you’re sitting all cozy.”

Teddy slipped out of the booth. He glanced over at the chubby
redhead at the counter, then leaned over to me. “Teaspoon, let’s go outside for a minute.”

“No!” I yelled. “She lied! And you two are as bad as Mr. Carlton and Betty Rains! No wonder Ma doesn’t feel welcome.”

Teddy grabbed my arm with one hand, and the scooter with the other. “Come on, let’s go outside,” he said, like we were cowboys about to have a showdown.

I dug my heels into the floor so that when Teddy tugged, the only way he could move me was to slide me. “You told me yourself that we shouldn’t do things we wouldn’t want our Sunday school teacher finding out about. Well then, seems to me that a Sunday school teacher shouldn’t do things she wouldn’t want her students finding out about, either!”

Teddy’s face was red. “Sorry,” he called to the redhead. She didn’t look sorry to be overhearing my hissy fit, though. Not any more than Mrs. Delaney and Mrs. Perkins looked sorry when they stood in the butcher shop and tried to look like they weren’t ear-peeking when the old butcher’s wife talked about people. Being as afflictedly mean as I felt at the moment, I lifted my free hand and pointed at Teddy, who was yanking me something fierce. “He’s supposed to be my ma’s boyfriend!” I yelled. Then I pointed back to Miss Tuckle. “And
she’s
a Sunday school teacher, and she lied on a stack of Bibles, but you can bet they’re doing the Ju—!” Teddy clamped his hand over my mouth.

Charlie was standing near the door, his head turtle-tucked. “Come here, Charlie,” Miss Tuckle said behind me.

I jerked my face free from Teddy’s hand. “Don’t do it, Charlie! Stay away from that sinner!”

Teddy tried calming me down after we got on the sidewalk, but there was no stopping me. “How could you be a cheater to Ma, Teddy? You did the Juicy Jitterbug with her. Lots of times. And that means you’re her boyfriend!”

“Teaspoon. Let’s go home. We’ll talk there.”

“No!” I screamed. “
You
go home.”

“Teaspoon, I understand you’re upset, but stop making a scene. We’ll go home and talk. Quietly and calmly.”

“If Ma leaves because of you, Teddy, I’ll never forgive you. Never!”

He told me to stay right where I was, then he took one backward step and leaned into the drugstore to ask Miss Tuckle to see that Charlie got home safely. While he was concentrating on that, I yanked my scooter out of his hand and took off.

I didn’t turn my head around when he called after me, but I turned my arm around, my scooter wobbling a bit when I let go of the handlebar. And then I did something I
never
thought I’d do to Teddy. I flipped him the big cuss.

It’s not like I didn’t see the splotch of blue to my left when I got to the four-corners with only two stop signs. I did. But I couldn’t risk stopping and waiting for the car to pass unless I wanted Teddy’s hand coming down on my shoulder like the claws of a crabby parrot. So I bumped down the curb and darted across the street.

There was the screech of car tires, then a loud honk. But I just hopped over the next curb, scootering until I heard someone shout, “What’s the matter with you, kid? I could have killed you!” I turned to see Mr. Miller standing behind the open door of his Lincoln, and Teddy running past him, his legs and arms pumping like a steam engine. “Crissakes, Big Guy. You can’t control one goddamn thing in your life, can you?” Mad at Teddy that I was, after Miller said that, I was wishing Teddy was the finger-flipping type himself.

When I reached the next four-corners, I didn’t have any choice but to stop or get splattered. Sure enough, Teddy’s hand grabbed me, parrot-clenching mad.

He was huffing, his face sweaty and red as the top of Pop’s head. “I ought to tip you over my knee and spank you a good one, right here,” he said.

“Go ahead and try!” I said, “I’d just kick you. Hard, too!” I knew Teddy wouldn’t really spank me. Especially while we were standing
on the street, him being respectable and all. Still, I felt a little hurt that he’d even think about doing it.

Teddy took a few gulps of air, but he didn’t burp. He just steered me around, his hand gripping a wad of my shirt because I complained that his hand was hurting my shoulder. Even though it wasn’t.

Ma was still napping on the couch when we got home, so I went into my room, shutting the door quietly, even though I wanted to slam it.

It took a while before I heard Teddy move away from my door, but finally he did. I was glad, too. I didn’t want to talk to that cheater-face. All I wanted was a little
solitude
. And that made me wish I had a catwalk to sit and cry on like Brenda had.

Having nowhere else to find solitude, I crawled into my closet and sat down under the crooked hems of my dresses, closing the closet door behind me to almost shut.

There was the rumble-whooshing of water filling the tub, and Teddy’s footsteps as he went here and there, probably scooping up dirty work clothes.

The tub was still running when Ma woke and called out, “Teddy? Teaspoon?”

Ma opened my bedroom door and called my name. I was halfway to standing, my mouth ready to call back to her, when I heard her yell to Teddy in the living room.

“Where’s Teaspoon?” Ma asked.

“She’s not in there?” Teddy asked.

“No.”

Even in Teddy’s footsteps, there was the sound of worry. So I sat back down, crossing my arms and thinking,
Good!

Teddy came into my room. His footsteps stopped, then moved across my floor. Maybe checking the window. “She must have slipped out the front door when I was in the bathroom.” He sighed. “Maybe it’s just as well, Catty. I’ve been waiting for the chance to talk to you alone… when you’re sober.”

Ma made a huff sound.

“Why are you here, Catty?” Teddy asked.

“What kind of question is that?” Ma asked, her voice rising kite-high, a little laugh the tail of her sentence.

“It’s a fair one,” Teddy said. “One I think you have an obligation to answer. For my sake, and for Teaspoon’s.”

Suddenly I wished I
had
snuck out the front door.

“I came back to see my baby. Isn’t that obvious?”

“After five long years, you suddenly had this overwhelming urge to see your daughter? You expect me to believe that?”

“Well, I wanted to see her plenty of times, but I couldn’t just pick up on a dime and drive across the country.”

“Interesting choice of words,” Teddy said. Like they were playing Scrabble or something.

“What are you getting at, Teddy?”

“The truth. Why you’re here. What you want. Did your supply of adoration run out, Catty? Or was it your supply of money?”

“I can’t believe you’re talking to me like this. What’s wrong with you? You were so sweet once.”

“Maybe I took your advice, Catty. Aren’t you the one who was always telling me that I needed to grow some balls?”

“Stop it, Teddy. You’re being cruel. I don’t like you like this.”

“
I’m
being cruel?” Teddy said, and this time he laughed. “You walk out on that kid—and me, for that matter—and stay gone for five long years, then you waltz back into our lives and you expect everything to be as it once was? You’re leading her to believe you’re here for good, Catty. She believes in you.”

“Teddy…,” Ma said, her voice choked with hurt. “You used to believe in me, too.”

“No,” Teddy said. “I used to love you. I never believed in you.”

“Teddy…,” Ma said, like she might cry.

“I wonder sometimes, Catty, how you can even look at yourself in the mirror. Maybe the stage makeup helps.”

My insides started shaking, like there were sobs in there trying
to get out. I made my hands into earmuffs, but I could still hear them.