How I Fall (47 page)

“You need to lie down, son. You haven’t been cleared from a concussion yet.”

Cam’s dad says this through a creepy closed tooth smile as he looks around, nodding all funny to these chubby coach-looking guys wearing University of Michigan jackets. They’ve approached and are watching the whole interchange with extreme interest. Unaware of any tension, one of them calls out, “Good to see him standing! You okay there, boy?”

Cam nods.

A guy wearing an Ann Arbor jacket approaches Patrick. “That was some amazing defending there, son. I’m impressed. Very impressed. What year are you?”

“I’m a junior, sir.”

“If your parents are here, I’d like to speak to you and your coach after the game, if that’s possible.”

“Yes, sir. I’d be honored.” I can hear the hope and excitement in Patrick’s voice.

“Cam, please
sit down
and let the PT assess you.” Mr. Campbell’s voice has turned low and deadly like he’s daring Cam to mess up any of his scholarship deals or embarrass him in front of his coach friends. “Everyone else who’s not a coach or a member of this team, please clear the field!”

I can see Cam’s angry. He obviously wants to say or do something other than what he’s doing, but like me, he probably doesn’t want to mess up what the coaches from Michigan might offer Patrick or any of the other guys. It’s a rare event, these football recruiters sniffing around the farm boys of Canada.

Cam lowers himself down back to the grass, and even though I want to stay to hear what Nash has to say about Cam’s possible injuries, Laura and I turn away along with the rest of the crowd.

“I’m okay, Ellen. I promise. Wait for me after the last whistle,” he calls out after me.

“Yeah. Of course. In the bleachers. I’ll be there.”

“I’ll be there, too,” mutters Patrick with his eyes on Laura.

She nods just as Cam’s dad shouts, “I hope
people
don’t wait too long. I’ve got my players pretty busy after this game.”

“Yeah!” Tanner Gold calls out. “We’ve got team stuff—
after.
Remember, guys?”

“As soon as I can, Ellen!” Cam’s almost shouting now. “I’ll be there. I will.”

Heart pounding with dread, I fake my own smile and turn back because Cam’s voice sounds so desperate and trapped I want him to know—to feel—that these people can’t stop us from being together. I hope my voice holds enough strength and meaning to calm him down. “I’ll wait. However long it takes. Because I’m—
you know
.” My eyes are telling him how much I love him, but I can feel the heat of hundreds of glares so I say only, “I’m really, really
patient
.”

ellen

As the crowd, still cheering from the playoff win, exits the bleachers, giving me the extra space I need to finally stretch my legs, Laura hops up, taking her hair out of the tight bun she’d had it in for the last hour.

“I can’t stand it. I’ve got to get another slushy drink before they close the snack bar. Do you want one this time?”

Instead of answering, I peer over the crowd. This whole time, my gaze has always been on Cam. After the final score I’ve hardly caught sight of him in the milling, joyful crowd.

I know he’s hurt. From the way he’d been standing and favoring his shoulder, I’m pretty sure it’s also going to take some time to heal. I’m sure Nash told Coach and Mr. Campbell about the injury, but
still
Cam played the whole second half.

Instead of throwing the ball, he became the madman quarterback again. He played crazier than I’ve ever seen him, and from the way the crowd was going insane with cheering around me, Cam played even crazier than anyone had ever seen him play, ever!

Each play he was somehow twisting and rushing and literally flying through the air. He proved his reputation double today by being un-sackable and untouchable in every way. 

With the help of Patrick who was throwing players to the ground like he was stacking firewood, Cam scored four times. At each touchdown, I could tell he was so angry about something, because he’d slam the ball down and walk away from his entire team as if to tell all of them to back off. When the defensive side was up, Cam simply stood at the chalk line, didn’t watch the game, crossed his arms and stared only at me.

No one messed with him. Not even his dad approached which I found really interesting, because Cam’s dad doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who likes to be told what to do.

I figure they had some sort of fight in the locker room. Probably over me. I’d have been really mad at Cam about the staring thing, because it drew too much attention toward me. The whole school was staring at me off and on, which I absolutely hated. If I didn’t have the feeling that Cam needed me—just needed to stare and to see me in the stands—I would kill him for what he did!

For him and because I knew he was upset, I tuned out everyone and stared back. I’m sure people thought we were mental. Five times at least my staring had Laura going crazy with, “Awww, you two are so cute,” or, “He loves you and you love him and, awww, it’s just so great and romantic.”

But there was nothing cute or great or romantic about this. This was me, somehow saving him. This was him, dying in front of me. The whole last quarter, it was all I could do not to slide off these bleachers and walk across the field so I could get to his side. I had this urge pick
him
up, for once. Tell him to run, and if he wouldn’t, I’d carry him far away from this football field and all the pressure he lives under.

Sadly, I couldn’t…and he can’t because we’re only sixteen. I used to be excited and dream about being this age. But after these last two weeks, I’ve decided sixteen sucks.

Sixteen means you’re suddenly old enough and smart enough to see where you want to go in life, but when you head that direction, everyone freaks out and says you’re not ready because you’re
still a kid
. Worse, even though you know they’re wrong and you fight against their claims that you are
too immature,
that stupid kid—the kid that sadly, is still a part of you—somehow holds you back from the adult you are trying so hard to become.

Right now, Mr. Campbell is yanking on Cam’s arm. I figure it’s so he can’t turn around to look at me again. Or, maybe the guy is simply trying to keep his son from walking over to me—my heart grows heavy—watching Cam fight to get away.

My thoughts have made me hate myself because as much as Cam’s trying to get to me, I’m know I’m too exhausted from this long day in the bleachers to be able to get to him.

Cam dodges his dad’s grip, turns back once and holds up a finger as if to say he’s coming in a minute, but before I can wave back, his father is there again. This time, Mr. Campbell pulls down Cam’s arm and starts shoving him quite hard actually, until Cam’s ahead of everyone and is front and center, facing the news crew that’s appeared because of the big win.

The old guy who’d sat next to me the entire game told us that this is the first time in two decades our Huron High School team has made it into the provincial regionals.

The marching band starts up again and the cheerleaders are all over the place, acting like they won the football game all by themselves. The crowd on the field seems to be growing because of the celebrating rather than getting smaller. I’m happy for the team and for our whole town, but I’m also wishing all the noise and confusion could just be over. Because when it is, I will get to hold Cam’s hand again.

“Earth to Ellen. Do you want a slushy drink, or not?”

“Sure. And can you grab some kind of snack? I have a feeling Coach and Mr. Campbell are going to make us die out here before they release Patrick and Cam into the world again.”

Laura grabs her purse, nods knowingly and hops down, pointing at the news crew. “I bet you’re right. Our wee-boyos are the stars, aren’t they?” Without waiting for an answer, she skips off, smiling proudly.

I turn to reposition our bags so our picnic can take over the now empty row behind us. I also move our blankets around so I will be able to stretch out my legs some.

I decide to dash—meaning limp slowly—to the rest room before Laura returns with the food. With some effort, because I’m really stiff, I pull my legs over the side and let gravity take me off the edge of the bleacher. I land on my feet without even a wobble, but when I turn toward the rest room, I’m blocked in the walkway by Tanner Gold, who’s still in his football gear, Bella-Jane, Jennie, and Paige, who are, of course, all still in their cheerleading outfits.

“I was wondering how we were going to get you out of your seat.” Tanner smiles, but it’s not a nice smile.

“For what?” I ask.

“Coach asked us to finish the conversation we started in the bathroom last week.” Bella-Jane moves closer.

“Why? What does it matter? Now that Cam’s won the playoffs for you guys, everyone can admit that it is a silly superstition and leave us alone.”

“Well, Coach refuses to change the rules. We’re here to tell you that Cam’s breaking up with you.”

“Broken up. Already. He’s so done with you. He doesn’t even want to tell you himself. It’s why he sent us. Isn’t that right, Paige.” Bella-Jane blinks. “So how about you just leave and spare him the awkward conversation.”

“Yeah,” Paige whispers. “Can’t you see it would be better if you just…” She pauses, but her face has gone really red and she won’t meet my gaze.

“Just what? Just didn’t love him? What is wrong with you guys? For Coach’s shakedown crew, you four suck.”

“Ellen, we’re begging you.”

“This is begging?” I raise my eyebrows.

Tanner glares. “If Cam won’t follow the rules, I heard Mr. Campbell tell Coach he’s going to move Cam to a school in British Columbia.”

I shrug. “He’s bluffing. People don’t just move in one week. Not because of an argument over football.”

“I believe Mr. Campbell. He’s got the funding to do it, why not? And if he does, it means Cam won’t finish the year here at Huron High. It also means we don’t get to win the Ontario Provincial Cup.”

“Who says you will win, even with Cam?” I bluff, wondering what part of this story might be true.

Tanner goes on, “We won’t get to
play
at all because we won’t have a QB. And that means no scholarships down in the states for me or for your best friend, Patrick! We only came out here to warn you that Coach has Cam cornered and we’re trying to beg you to do the right thing. He’s been ordered to dump you or face the consequences. I rallied these three over here fast with the hopes we could talk some sense into you. Dump him first.”

Bella-Jane shrugs. “I came just to watch you cry when he chooses the team over you. He’s not going to move out of this town, away from our school and all of us, just so he can date you! I mean really. You’ve only been together for like two weeks.” She looks me up and down. “There’s no way he can be
that
into you.”

“Yeah? Well I’m into him.” I blink, heart twisting and pushing away her words that have already snuck in and made me doubt. “If you think I’m going to believe you and leave here without speaking to Cam, you’re insane.”

Heart galloping in my chest, I step around them and farther out into the walkway. I’m surprised to find it crowded with a huge crush of kids from our high school hanging around who look like they just showed up to party. Along with the new crowd, there are other football players in the walkway, too. Coach, the two dudes from Michigan, as well as Cam’s father seem to be making a beeline in our direction as well! Some people are talking really loudly, and Coach is actually shouting something. Then I get that he’s shouting something at Cam who’s leading the way!

“Oh crap.” Tanner runs his hand through his hair and glances at Bella-Jane. “This looks bad. This looks like he didn’t break up with her! He’s coming to get her!”

Bella-Jane stands on her tip-toes. “Impossible.”

Tanner starts shouting at me, but I don’t want to hear him anymore. I want to hear Cam’s voice.

“I hope you’re happy, Ellen Foster. You’ve ruined everything. Everything!”

As the crowd moves closer, I can hear what Coach is shouting.

“Camden Campbell. You can’t do this. You simply can’t! Come to your senses, boy!”

Cam is easy to track as he moves through the tight crowd because he’s so tall he towers over almost everyone. Patrick is close behind him. Together they seem to be pushing through the crowd like they are men on a mission. That’s when I get they’re scanning the bleachers I’ve just vacated like the mission is me and Laura!

“Cam, I order you to stop and listen to me!” Mr. Campbell shouts. “Stop or you’re grounded.”

“You can’t ground me twice,” Cam shouts back. “I quit your stupid team. I quit football. You’re all acting like a bunch of dictators. I’m done!”

“Cam! Patrick!” I call out, waving my good arm, narrowly missing Laura who’s darted around the corner full speed, completely unaware of the wave of people coming towards her. She’s balancing two slush drinks in one hand and has a cardboard box overflowing with nachos in the other.

“Laura! Hold up,” I call out, causing her to skid to a halt. Then again to Cam and Patrick I shout, “Guys—we’re—over here!”

Cam, eyes going to Tanner and then to Bella-Jane, pales and makes a beeline for us with Patrick right behind him. “Ellen, don’t listen to them! Whatever they said, it’s not true. I don’t care. You know I only care about you.”

When he reaches my side, in a lower voice he says, “I’ve quit the team. They were seriously trying to make me break up with you. I convinced the news team to follow me here. They’re going to help make everyone in Western Canada see how crazy my dad is and how stupid our archaic school rules really are.”

“Are you sure?” I see that he’s still guarding his hurt shoulder. “Tanner said your dad’s threatening to drag you to British Columbia. Like this week.”

He hugs me tight and whispers against my hair, “My dad always says that. He registers me at this private military academy near my uncle’s place outside Vancouver every time I defy him or piss him off.” Pulling back, he meets my gaze. “But if they make me go—you and I—we’re good. Right? You’d wait for me? We’ll be eighteen eventually…right?”