How I Won the Yellow Jumper (2 page)

Matt is one of cycling's great thinkers. Look at him, scratching his chin and musing. Among other books, he has written
The Death of Marco Pantani
, the definitive work on il Pirata's tragic life. On my first Tour, he nursed me through my initiation. Without his knowledge and passion, I would have given up long ago. He is also able to speak almost every language on earth, which in my eyes makes him extremely clever.

The other half of the Phil-and-Paul double act. Chipper, chirpy, cheeky and any number of other adjectives beginning with 'ch', Paul's unfailing good humour and faith in cycling makes him a force of nature. As is his ability to talk for hours at a time. Incidentally, he owns a substantial chunk of Africa.

On my early Tours, I worked with John out on the road. He is a poker-faced, tough Australian, who has surprisingly strong opinions about cycling. He just tends to keep them to himself. He can also run fast. Backwards. With a camera. Filming.

Wiggins. Long, tall and with an ever-changing barnet. No one expected him to finish fourth in 2009, but he did. In the course of three weeks he made British cycling re-evaluate its ambitions. His achievements have changed the way we think about ourselves as a nation of riders.

Woody is one of television's top sound recordists. Rich in charm, long on talent and bereft of most forms of seriousness, he strolls through July with a set of headphones clamped to his ears, pretending that he cares about cycling. He drives the car a lot, and secretly quite enjoys it.

1
A Lance Armstrong interview played back through a TV monitor in 2009.

2
Chris Boardman sweeping the grime from the TV truck at the end of a day.

3
Mark Cavendish, in green, poses with teammates. Liam MacLeod is filming them.

4
Steve Doherty at his control desk in the TV truck.

5
Gary Imlach enjoying a rare joke from Chris Boardman on the set.

6
Phil Liggett looking smart for an American TV network.

7
 Liam MacLeod in Monaco in 2009.

8
David Millar after the individual time trial in Paulliac in 2009.

9
Matt Rendell posing for the cameras. Chris Boardman took this.

10
Paul Sherwen in commentary mode.

11
John Tinetti waits with me for the end of the team time trial in Arras 2004.

12
Bradley Wiggins, riding for Cofidis in 2007, stops for an interview.

13
Ben Woodgate (Woody) waking up from a mid-afternoon nap.

14
Fast asleep one afternoon, waiting for the race to come in.

15
One of the last photos of me before I revealed my ears to the world.

16
Gary Imlach recording the closing link to the highlights show.

17
Gary receives his medal for twenty years service from Christian Prudhomme.

18
Chris Boardman dons a bin bag on the Tourmalet in 2010.

19
Chris Boardman pretending to lift a truck.

20
Phil Liggett inexplicably snuggles up next to a statue.

21
Phil Liggett, stripped to the waist, but still talking.

22
Phil Liggett, Paul Sherwen and me in a fit of nationalistic fervour, in Paris 2009.

23
Watching the closing stages on the set with Chris Boardman and Gary Imlach.

24
On top of the Col d'Aubisque.

25
Green, white and yellow. The Aussie national colours, worn by Robbie McEwen, Baden Cooke and Brad McGee in 2003.

26
Lance Armstrong at the start line.

27
Ben Woodgate sheepishly posing with 'Shirley' Crow.

28
The front page of
L'Equipe
, 12 July 2003.

29
Lance Armstrong, when I confronted him about his feud with Filippo Simeoni. Smiling.

30
The same interview with Lance Armstrong. A few seconds later, the smile had gone.

31
A traffic jam on the Hautacam.

32
A typical suitcase, containing dirty clothes in the plastic bags. Note the bottle of wine.

33
A typical Tour shirt, manifestly badly ironed.

34
Producer James Venner joins Gary Imlach in bin bag chic on top of the Tourmalet in 2010.

35
A typical ironing scene on a sideboard in a hotel.

36
Liam MacLeod with a coy frown.

37
Ben Woodgate enjoying a rapid-fire sneezing fit over breakfast.

38
Checking the oil in the Renault Espace. Feigning expertise.

39
Mike Tope admiring his handiwork after scratching his car in Paris.

40
A still from one of Liam MacLeod's many mobile videos of me sleeping.

41
Liam MacLeod '
fait la tête
'. A Tour tradition.

42
A a90 police fine. This one was for a slightly impatient overtaking manoeuvre.

43
Unloading the car during a deluge in Barcelona in 2009.

44
A sunset in the south of France during the 2003 Tour.

45
A stash of French firecrackers. I bought these in 2010.

46
The flagship Pierre Cardin shop in Paris. Extraordinary clothes.

47
Liam MacLeod filming the château in Saint-Fargeau.

48
Chris Boardman's portrait of the Eiffel Tower.

49
The ever popular Thomas Voeckler in 2004.

50
Another Chris Boardman landscape. This time with windmills.

51
Robbie McEwen talking to French TV.

52
Glenn Wilkinson off for a day's work on the Tour.

53
Glenn Wilkinson's comedy false teeth.

54
Patrice Diallo in 2009.

55
Glenn Wilkinson celebrating the end of another Tour in Paris.

56
The interview pen.

57
Dag Otto Lauritzen with his sponsored car.

58
Some Norwegian technicians grab an afternoon nap in the shade of a truck.

59
My Tour accreditation from 2010.

60
Smiling next to Laurent Fignon in 2010.

61
Floyd Landis looking over his shoulder (courtesy of Max Morse).

62
Our truck in Morzine in 2006. How it got in there I have no idea.

63
Floyd Landis winning in Morzine in 2006.

64
Paul Sherwen looking crisp in tie and slacks.

65
Wearing a set of headphones with a huge comedy aerial.

66
Studying a menu.

67
The Gothic Hostellerie de la Poste in Tours.

68
An amusingly translated menu.

69
Liam MacLeod posing with a fennel, part of Matt Rendell's astonishing
assiette de crudités
.

70
The gigantic raw vegetable based starter that Matt Rendell ordered in Aix-en-Provence.

71
An attempt not to float to the surface in a hot tub.

72
Enzo and the vuvuzela.

73
Our 'host family' near Gap. Remy, Norah and Enzo.

74
Romain preparing lunch.

75
Philippe caught off his guard by Chris Boardman.

76
One of a number of French TV catering areas.

77
The tiny caravan that houses Philippe, Odette and Romain.

78
The Devil, Didi Senft, in a rare down moment.

79
Alexandre Vinokourov, besieged by the press, in 2007.

80
Michael Rasmussen once again faces up to a battering from the media.

81
Matt Rendell at the Rasmussen press conference, in the middle of the front row.

82
Liam MacLeod tucking into the Sancerre on that ill-fated rest day in Pau 2007.

83
Hiding at the back of the Hotel La Pameraie, where the police were raiding Team Astana.

84
Interviewing Alexandre Vinokourov in 2010 after his stage win.

85
The top of Mont Ventoux.

86
On the summit of Mont Ventoux awaiting the 2009 Tour's arrival.

87
A glimpse of the Alps. I think this one came somewhere near to Sisteron.

88
Odette washing up, with a fine view from her kitchen window.

89
Mountains and clouds.

90
Pointing at mountains.

91
A sunset over the mountains.

92
The Provisional General Classification, with Wiggins in third place behind Alberto Contador and Lance Armstrong.

93
Ben Woodgate in Monaco.

94
Bradley Wiggins talking to me about doping on the 2009 Tour.

95
Waiting outside a launderette with Matt Rendell on a rest day in Toulouse.

96
My 2010 accreditation in close-up.

97
Liam MacLeod hunting down a launderette with his dirty laundry slung over his shoulder.

98
Posing for an album cover in a launderette.

99
Liam MacLeod, with his new ukelele, bashing out a David Bowie cover.

100
Adventurous parking in Verbier in 2009.

101
Liam MacLeod's filthy polo shirt which provoked alarm in Switzerland.

102
The beautiful Villa Rose hotel in Bagnères-de-Bigorre.

103
Ben Woodgate showering in public view in Verbier.

104
Lance Armstrong and Johan Bruyneel in Paris after the end of the 2010 Tour.

105
Lance Armstrong on a hairpin on Luz-Ardiden in 2003.

106
Throwing my bike into a hedge during the 2010 Tour ride in Devon.

251
Testing the brakes on my first ever bike.

108
The bike I bought in 2003, when I rediscovered cycling. By the look of me, I needed to.

109
'Attacking' Peak Hill outside Sidmouth.

110
Jakob Piil edging out Fabio Sacchi to win Stage 10 of the 2003 Tour (courtesy of Getty Images).