How Not to Date an Alien (9 page)

There was no beginning and no end! It was all just intense, burning pleasure and it was filling her every pore, exploding her atoms, and turning her into a pile of wet quivering goo.

“Breathe!”

She choked as air flowed into her lungs. The darkness in her mind fled, and she forced her eyes open to see Valan looming over her, his lips spread in a soft, satisfied grin.

“Kilana,” he purred, and wrapped himself around her tighter. And yes, he was still a solid mass inside of her, no longer vibrating but just quivering a little.

His hair was clutching at her, his arms wrapped around her shoulders pressing her breasts to the wall of muscle that was his chest. His breathing was calm, and she realized that her own tattered breaths were beginning to match his.

She felt soft and relaxed and wrung out. And the addition of having his thick dick still inside was calming and relaxing at the same time.

“I came prematurely,” he pouted slightly. “I do apologize. I should have granted you hours of orgasms.”

She blinked at that. “Hours?”

“At least.” He nodded sadly. “I’ll do better next time.”

“Next time?”

“Yes.” He grinned then. “I have to keep my promises, and I promised you pleasure that would not be believed. I have not yet achieved my goal.”

“It gets better than that?” she had to ask, disbelief in her voice.

“Yes.”

“Good Lord,” she managed, closing her eyes and resting into his rich lemon vanilla scent, the smell that covered her and filled her bedroom. “It may kill me, but bring on round two.”

“Come with me.”

“What?” Kilana was luxuriating in another hot bath, still basking in the afterglow of the most amazing sexual experience of her life. “I thought I just did, several times.”

She knew she was thinking that a lot when it came to this man — no, alien — but each new experience just kept upping the bar.

“Come with me,” he urged, wrapping his arms tighter around her.

“Um, where?” She looked up into his face from over her shoulder.

Valan was such a comfortable backrest, and that amazing hair just seemed to massage her, stroke her, soothing muscles strained from her prolonged and quite enjoyable climax.

From his serious expression, she knew that something big was about to happen.

“Back to my home.” He finally spoke after examining her flushed face for several pregnant moments.

“Your home?”

“Yes.” He sighed, running his hands up and down her arms. “This planet is strange. Most of the people I have met here are strange. It is contradictory in so many places that it makes my head ache just trying to make order out of the chaos here.”

“It’s not that bad,” Kilana defended.

“You do not belong here.”

“Well, where else would I belong, Valan? I am an earthling. I was born here, I was raised here, and I think I will die here.”

“That is the issue.”

“What issue?”

“You, dying.” He shrugged in the water, sending a small wave over her as he sat up and gripped her arms. Then in a show of amazing strength, he easily lifted her body and turned her around so that she was facing him.

“Oh, my God!” she gasped. “Are you going to tell me that I have some kind of incurable disease and this was some kind of pity fuck before I die?”

“How can you fuck pity?” His eyebrows wrinkled in confusion.

“Don’t change the subject, man! Am I dying?”

“Every day you exist on this planet, you die a little more inside.”

“That is not what I meant!” She was getting riled up, her face turning red as she jammed one finger into his chest. “Am I dying right now?”

At his “No,” she sighed and relaxed again in the water. “Don’t scare me like that,” she muttered. “You gonna give a girl a heart attack.”

“My point is that living on this planet will greatly shorten your lifespan, Kilana.”

“Smoke and smog, yeah, yeah, I get it.” She rolled her eyes. “And all the chemicals and preservatives I put in my body.”

“That is a factor,” he agreed readily. “But there is also the extreme ignorance of your people. You are not like them from what I have observed. You and a few others actually have the ability to think wholly.”

“Think wholly?”

“To take in every opinion and view your issues from many various viewpoints before you act. It is a rare thing.”

“You are saying that I am well-rounded? Lots of people are well-rounded, Valan.

That’s not unusual.”

“Not too many people would welcome an alien into their beds and into their lives, Kilana.”

“Well, you can move here and —”

“No.”

“Why not?” She began to nibble on her bottom lip. “I mean, there is still a lot we can learn about each other and our different cultures…”

“The air, Kilana. It will kill me.”

“You are dying here?” she gasped, her hands going to cup his face as if checking for fevers and ensuring that the man would not just disappear on her all at once.

“I can resist the ravages of your atmosphere, but not for too much longer.”

“You do breathe oxygen… You do breathe, right?”

“Yes,” he chuckled. “But the oxygen here is tainted. I will not survive here long, and I do not wish to leave you behind.”

“Well — hell,” she moaned, her hands tangling in his hair as she released his face.

“Hell, yes.” He ran one wet finger over her jaw line. “Well, hell, indeed.”

“So… when are you leaving?”

“When you agree to come with me.”

“Not going to happen,” she decided, calling herself all kinds of coward for pushing aside his offer.

But this was a big thing. This was not sleeping with a stranger. This was not taking an unexpected vacation with said stranger. This was moving to another whole new flipping planet!

That was some scary stuff!

“Why not?”

“I can’t leave all my stuff behind!”

“Stuff?” he asked. “Stuff like this apartment you do not really like or the ex-husband who treated you with such disrespect? Or is it your friends who are moving on with their lives and cheerfully treating you like a past thought?”

“That’s not fair!” she argued. “Se and Lena…”

“Left you in an apartment with a strange male while you were immobilized and naked.”

Well, when he said it like that…

“That — that’s not how we usually behave…”

“So it is usual behavior for them to take you to a drinking place and leave you in the company of strange men?”

“They walked me home!”

“And never noticed that I materialized and followed right after they laid you in your bed.”

Now that she hadn’t known.

“They never came to check up on you after leaving you with me. They never even used one of your communications devices to verify that you were still alive.”

“They care.”

“Then humans have an odd way of showing care.”

There was nothing she could say about that, so she fell back on the old standby —

pouting.

“You know that I am correct in this, Kilana.”

“And you are still not going to make me willing go to another planet with you.”

“Then I will take you.”

“What?”

That said, Valan stood and let the water stream off of his body before he gave his head a shake and looked down at the woman at his feet. Then, with a smirk worthy of the most blatant Lothario, he bent down and hoisted her up, slamming her over his shoulder.

“Valan!” she squealed, squiggling and kicking.

She was making such a fuss that she never noticed the key turning in the lock nor Se and Lena making their way into the master bath.

“Wow!” Se breathed. “Kinky.”

Those breathed words caused Kilana to pause in her ineffective escape plans and turn her head to look at her friends.

“Lena! Se! Help! I’m being abducted!”

“Really?” Lena drawled, grinning as she took in all the wet, naked flesh in the room. “Like that?”

“Like this.” Valan shook his head in agreement, then remembered the cultural difference. He switched to nodding instead.

“Exhibitionism at its best,” Lena purred. “How lucky you are, you little minx.”

“Lena,” Kilana struggled to say. Her breath was hampered by the over-the-shoulder position Valan was holding her in. “The alien is going to abduct me!”

“Ohh!” Se clapped her hands while jumping happily. “European vacation! I always wanted to visit Germany. Germany is in Europe, right?”

“Yes!” Kilana shouted, rolling her eyes and just slumping over Valan’s back.

“So… take lots of pictures,” Se offered, a soft smile on her face.

“Matches her soft brain,” Kilana muttered before turning to Lena. “Anything to add?”

“Send postcards,” she chuckled, pulling out her camera and snapping photos again. “I mean, all of these years we’ve been friends and then I discover that you were having wilder sex than I ever imagined. And doing your part for cultural awareness around the world, too. I didn’t know you were such a patriot.”

“The alien is abducting me!” she pointed out again, ignoring the smug low laughter that he was not even bothering to hide.

Come on, ladies, Kilana thought. Just do something a normal person would do! Protest, just a little!

“Send us back sausage,” Se added, turning as if to look around the place for luggage.

“Two-legged kind preferred.” Lena winked before gripping Se by the arm. “If he had a brother…”

“Or a sister,” Se added. “I’m not picky if the genetics looks like that.”

“Send them all our way,” Lena finished for her friend. “Damn, girl, you get all the luck.”

And that was the last nail in the coffin, so to speak.

Kilana shook her head and gave in to the inevitable. “Looks like I’m going to another planet,” she groaned.

“Germany may seem like a distant planet from what you’re used to, Kilana,” Se retorted. “But I understand it’s very tourist friendly. Don’t insult our foreign visitor by talking bad about his land of origin — or is it the fatherland?” When there was no answer forthcoming, Se shrugged. “Can I keep your car for you? Mine is in the shop and yours will just be sitting here… When are you leaving again?”

“Take it,” Kilana snapped, rolling her eyes. “Take it all. You know what, take everything that is in this apartment. You can have whatever you like. I won’t need it in Germany.”

“But how will you live?” Lena asked, finally showing some concern.

“I will provide,” Valan cut in to say, one hand caressing her very bare and very wet ass. “I will provide anything and everything that Kilana desires.”

“Great!” Lena grinned. “Then I can take those leather pants you got last year.

They never looked right on you anyway. That color is not flattering to your complexion.”

“Yeah, sure,” she sighed, shaking her head sadly. She had been fighting to stay here for this? What was her problem? Adventure and a new beginning on a whole new planet with some sane friends suddenly sounded like a pretty good deal.

She looked up from her contemplations to see Lena and Se making a hasty retreat, Se with her keys locked in her grubby little hands.

“Beam me up, Scotty,” she intoned. “There is no intelligent life here at all.”

“Your wish, my command,” Valan chuckled, and she was enveloped by a cold white light.

When next she opened her eyes, she was standing naked in a harem of a room.

There were pillows and furs strewn all over. The lighting was dim and muted, comfortable on her eyes while the temperature was warm enough that she felt totally comfortable, even if she was nude.

The air was crisp and clean and smelled vaguely of lemons, vanilla, and musk, Valan’s personal scent. It was tantalizing and addictive, and sensual as hell.

“Your ship?” she asked as Valan placed her on her feet.

“The bed chamber,” he purred, licking his lips and running his hands in a proprietary fashion over her.

“So…” She trailed off as he lifted her again and placed her on her back in the center of the pillow pile.

“So, we rest here and recover from the sexual acts I am about to perform on you.” He licked at her neck. “And then we go to Yanta Prime and see if we can find an intersexed Primean to satisfy us both at the same time.”

And, strangely enough, that sounded just fine to her.

If your alien manages to kidnap you, trust me, the best way to get help is by written communication. I am quite sure that your aliens, as advanced as they are, cannot pick up the complicated and contrary beauty that is the English language. Write a help letter, and your friends will race to the rescue. And if all else fails, write a letter warning people of your plight, so that they can be prepared to stop the alien menace the next time they invade!

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“Lena, did you get your postcard?” Se babbled excitedly over the phone.

“Yes.” Lena blew out a shock d breath. “And I can’t believe that she did it.”

“Yeah,” Se chuckled. “She said she got kidnapped by her alien and that she was never coming back. Isn’t it romantic?”

“I don’t know,” Lena mused. “I mean, what do we know about the guy? Nothing but the fact that he was into kinky sex and loved to eat her out… Never mind,” Lena groused. “What was I thinking? I hope she’s having fun.”

“I’m glad she wrote us to let us know what was happening,” Se added.

“Otherwise, we might have worried. But she needs this in her life right now. She always said that if she got to chance to run away with someone who really loved her she would. And I don’t blame her. Her ex was an abusive ass. Besides, she says here that if she doesn’t return, she left her car to me and her bank accounts to little Tuesday. If she were really kidnapped, she never would have time to set all that up. Her kinky German must be loaded.”

“Well, Germany is one of the richest countries, even in this economy,” Lena conceded. “And you know what they say…”

“Germans,” they chorused together, “make good stuff!”

“Look,” Se squealed excitedly. “She said that more aliens were on the way. I wonder if Valan has a brother…?”

And a few blocks away…

“Oh!” Robert gasped, staring at the tall, pale man standing on his doorstep.