How to Catch a (Rock) Star (The Dead Hour #1) (9 page)

She turned to go as Chris raised his eyebrows and pointed to himself. He hadn’t signed the notebook.

‘She doesn’t love me,’ he said, pulling a hurt face. ‘I guess she’s in too much of a hurry to spread the good news to worry about the drummer.’

Kate put her arm around him as he muttered ‘nobody ever remembers the drummer,’ and Johnny reminded him that he had Kate, whilst he had no one.

‘You have a different girl practically every night, dude. Don’t try to play that one. Anyway, now you have Lil apparently.’

‘Hey man,’ Johnny turned to Jed. ‘Sorry about that. Takes the heat off you guys though, right?’

Jed nodded his agreement, a thoughtful look on his face.

‘Yeah. I suppose so. I’d rather people didn’t know too much about me and Lil. You know, keep it private as long as possible,’ he said. Lillie noticed that he wasn’t touching her again.

‘Well, I’d rather they didn’t think I was with either of you if you don’t want people to know about us,’ she said, angry that she was being discussed like this. ‘Why can’t people know we’re together?’ she asked. ‘It’s not like we’re Brangelina. I’m sure we won’t have paparazzi following us around every minute of the day.’

‘Babe, it’s not that.’ Johnny was looking a little uncomfortable now. ‘Some of the more…’ he paused, searching for the nicest word, ‘obsessed fans can get a little weird about Jed. You know, jealous. It would be better if you didn’t have to put up with any, ummm, bitchiness towards you for as long as possible. They can be real mean, honestly, you wouldn’t believe some of the stuff they come out with.’ He laughed but Lillie couldn’t see what was funny.

‘Well, I’m sure I can handle it. Besides, won’t they care about me and you as well?’

‘Ohhhhohoh, not half as much as the Jedster here,’ he smirked, smacking Jed on the back. ‘They are kkkeeerrazy about him. Very protective. No girl will ever be good enough for our man Jed. Except if it was one of them, of course. There’s a hardcore group of fan girls who would scratch your eyes out if they could get near enough.’

‘Okay, Johnny. Thanks.’

Wow. Jed looked really pissed off. Johnny held his hands up and backed away in mock deference, then Jed turned to her.

‘Lil, it’s really not that bad, but I would like to shield you from the craziness for as long as I can.’ Jed glared at Johnny, who shrugged and held his hands up in apology again. ‘That’s why it’s probably best if you don’t Google us. A lot of it is really positive stuff but there’s always the odd troll hanging around, trying to wind the fans up. Trust me, it’s a real ego batterer. We all learnt that the hard way. Promise me you won’t go looking for stuff?’

Lillie nodded. She definitely did not need to read anything horrible about herself. She’d seen gossip sites, and knew how cruel blog commenters could be.

Jed smiled at her, and suggested they all grab their stuff and get going to the venue. ‘We can chill out, have a few beers. Relax before the gig,’ he said, leading the way to the lifts. ‘Besides, I had an idea for the new song and the set list that I want to practice, so we’ll need extra time.’

As they all followed him, Kate hung back to give Lillie an awkward walking hug.

‘Don’t worry about the whole Jed/Johnny thing,’ she whispered. ‘It will all come out in the wash.’

Lillie smiled and nodded, but she didn’t like the idea of pretending that she was with Johnny one bit.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

‘So, this is a new song. I hope you guys like it,’ Jed said to the crowd before breaking into the opening chords. He noticed Lillie’s knuckles were white from gripping her mike stand so hard, and he swivelled to face her, smiling encouragingly. God, he hoped she pulled it off. She had been adamant that she didn’t want to sing anything alone, but he had persuaded her in the end. Now he felt like a right asshole. Her face was ghostly pale, and he could see her leg was shaking again.

He breathed a sigh of relief when the first verse was over, and joined in with her for the chorus. Lillie stared resolutely ahead, not looking at him. Well, he guessed he couldn’t blame her for that. She had gotten through the verse okay but it wasn’t great. Not like he knew she could be. He closed his eyes, let his feelings into the lyrics, concentrating on getting his fingers right on the strings.

When he opened his eyes near the end of the chorus, Lil was looking at him and smiling. He smiled back. Cool. A smile was good, and her voice was getting stronger now, that beautiful strange whimsical quality clearer. She was even swaying a little, and she wasn’t trying to asphyxiate the mike stand any
more.

Jed felt himself relaxing too, he hadn’t realised how tense he was about this new song. He looked out over the crowd, frowning at some of the banners. ‘Johnny and Lil are the best couple ever’ and ‘We love you Johnny and Lil’ especially caught his eye. Jesus, it didn’t take long for news to travel. He didn’t like it at all.

The song finished and the crowd went wild as Johnny ran onto the stage, high-fived Jed and hugged Lil. Jed kicked away his stool and asked the crowd if they liked the new song, attributing the big roar from the fans as affirmation, turning just in time to see Johnny kiss Lil full on the mouth. Jed clenched his jaw and thought Johnny had lingered just a little bit too long for it to be mistaken for anything other than completely un-platonic. He pushed it to the back of his mind as Chris kicked in with the opening beat for their next song and forgot about it for the next hour.

The rest of the set rocked, Jed was elated by the reaction to his song for Lillie and boosted by the London crowd, watching the mosh pits with satisfaction. These guys sure knew how to have a good time, but they’d have to wait a few minutes for the encore. Off stage, he caught Lil up in an embrace, confused when she didn’t respond as usual. He set her down and pulled back, keeping his hands on her waist.

‘What’s up?’ he said. She looked away from him and he felt a thrill of nausea race through him. She knew. How the fuck –

‘I just – the crowd and stuff. New song. I just feel a bit overwhelmed.’

Jed stopped her with a relieved kiss but Lillie cut it short.

‘And this whole Johnny and me thing. I don’t really like it, to be honest,’ she said.

‘Yeah. I think we need to do something about that,’ he said, waving a hand at Johnny. ‘And I think I know how we can fix it,’ he finished, kissing her quickly before disappearing to the stage again.

Two songs later and he was back, grabbing her hand and leading her towards the stage.

‘What are you doing?’ she asked, dragging her feet.

Jed smiled and tapped Johnny’s arm.

‘C’mon – let’s go meet our fans,’ he said.

Johnny frowned and looked for Steve, who was yelling at some poor person on the phone as usual.

‘This isn’t planned, right?’ Johnny asked.

‘No, but I just need to clear something up,’ Jed said, trying to catch Chris’ eye and waving him over. ‘Fan meet,’ he said by way of explanation, pulling Lillie onstage.

‘Jed, I don’t think – ‘ Johnny called after him but he was gone, a group of fan girls squealing in excitement when they noticed him hovering onstage.

He moved over to them, sitting on the stage and motioning Lillie over. Still chatting to the girls, he put a hand on Lillie’s leg as she sat next to him, stroking her knee. He grinned when she crossed her legs to try and stop him and carried on, pretending not to notice that the girls were all watching his fingers making imaginary trails up and down Lillie’s thigh.

‘So,’ he said, commanding their attention again, ‘did you like the new song?’

One of the girls was brave enough to answer. She was quite pretty, although he’d never been one for facial piercings. Johnny would like her. Blonde, petite, tattoos…

‘I really liked it but it was really different from the usual stuff. You know, bit mushy,’ she said boldly, despite the red flush creeping up her neck. Too red, Jed thought, not a delicate flush like Lil. He reluctantly stopped stroking Lillie’s skin and felt her relax a little.

‘Yeah, I guess it is. I’ve never really been inspired to write a love song until now,’ he drawled, putting an arm around Lillie’s shoulders.

Lillie turned to look at him and he smiled inwardly – her face was a perfect mirror of the shock on the girls’ faces.

‘But everyone on the internet’s saying Johnny and Lil are –’

Jed interrupted her, laughing.

‘Yeah well, he wishes. I’m sure you guys know that he has a tattoo for each member of the band,’ they all nodded. ‘Well, now he has one for Lil too.’ He waited a beat for them to digest his revelation. ‘Soooo, does anyone want a photo with us?’

‘Oh my God, yes, yes,’ one of them said, digging in her jeans for her phone. She shoved her phone at another fan, and the three of them lined up in front of Jed and Lillie. As soon as the phone was lifted, he put his fingertips under Lillie’s chin and kissed her. That’ll do it, he thought, standing up and pulling Lillie to her feet.

‘See you guys later,’ he said, grinning as they crowded round the phone, squeals of excitement and consternation emitting from the girls as they realised what they had. The same scenario played out amongst different groups of fans for the next forty or so minutes until Steve came out to usher them away as the venue wanted to clean up and close.

Offstage and alone, Lillie asked him what had made him do it.

‘I didn’t like all those banners,’ he said. ‘Plus, they’ll find out in the end and, well, you know,’ he trailed off, not wanting to say it.

‘You don’t want the fans to think I’m here because I’m making my way through the band,’ Lillie laughed.

‘Well, yeah,’ he agreed, pulling her close to him for a long kiss before letting her go. Over her head, he met Johnny’s stare. Instinctively, he tightened his arms around Lillie’s slim body, his eyes narrowing as he glared back. He was gonna have to talk to Johnny soon, he was getting too involved. He didn’t look forward to that little chat. Not at all.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

The next morning, Lillie looked in the hotel bathroom mirror, noting the dark circles under her eyes, and she decided that she might need a night apart from Jed so that she could get more than a few hours sleep. Besides, all the sex was making her sore and she wasn’t even sure if she’d be able to participate in any for a while. She turned the bath taps on, fiddling with them to get the temperature just right.

Back in the bedroom, Lillie grabbed her phone and a set of headphones and watched Jed sleeping for a moment. He’d moved to cover as much of the bed as possible now that Lillie was out of it. She smiled at the sight of his six foot two inch frame sprawled across the bed, taking up all the available space, covers caught up around his waist, limbs flung wide and fought the urge to lay down and cover him with her body. Instead she decided it was safer to go back into the bathroom.

Chris had put the band’s new album on her phone, and she forwarded to one of the songs she needed to learn. She lay back in the bubbles and listened to it whilst she texted Tess to organise her visit before the band left for France.

Tess wanted to meet the band, especially Jed, and it would be months before Lillie would see any of her family again after she left the UK in a few days. With her parents in Spain and her brother living up North, Tess was the only one Lillie would be able to get together with before leaving.

They decided Lillie, Jed and whoever else wanted to tag along would go to their parent’s house in Brighton where Tess was housesitting during her uni holidays. The morning after the Portsmouth gig was the best choice, although it would mean it was going to be a short visit, as they were catching the ferry to France later that night.

Visit organised, Lillie closed her eyes and replayed the song, singing along to the words and rewinding it when she got them wrong. One song down, she forwarded to the next one, becoming so engrossed she didn’t hear the door open. She let out a scream as Jed’s fingers ran along her thigh.

‘You scared the hell out of me,’ she said, sitting up and pulling the headphones out of her ears. She stared at him accusatorily, noticing his nakedness even in her fright.

‘Sorry. I couldn’t resist. You look so, mmmm…’ he stared at her hungrily. ‘Edible,’ he continued, leaning down for a kiss.

Lillie stretched her neck, eager for his mouth on hers. His hands reached down to cover her breasts, fingertips skimming over her hardening nipples. Lillie’s stomach flipped in the now familiar feeling of all encompassing lust that she’d only ever felt with him. She reached up around his neck and pulled him into the bath. He laughed in surprise as bubbles and water cascaded over the floor, rearranging his body so that he didn’t crush her. They kissed again, oblivious to the flooding they were causing, trying to find a way to fit together in the cramped bath.

‘This isn’t going to work,’ Jed said, pressing feather-light kisses across Lillie’s collarbone. ‘Come on,’ he instructed, sloshing more water over the floor as he stood up, extending his hand to her.

Lillie took his hand, and he pulled her up and against him, their wet bodies sliding against each other. Jed stared down at her through wet hair.

‘I think I like it best when you’re naked and wet,’ he said huskily.

Lillie winced as his fingers brushed against her.

‘I think I need a rest,’ she whispered, embarrassed and frustrated that her body was betraying her in this way. She traced patterns on his chest, her eyes following her fingertips as they travelled down his wet body. She heard him gasp as her fingers brushed against him and smiled to herself as she lowered herself to her knees.

Five minutes later, she rose to her feet and Jed kissed her hard, reaching for a towel to wrap her in. He held her close to him, kissing the top of her head.

‘I love you Lillie. I love you so much, you know that right?’ He looked at her intently, and she nodded.

‘I love you too,’ she said, wrapping her arms around him and burying her head in his chest.

‘You know what we should do today?’ he suddenly said, stepping out of the bath and wrapping a towel around his waist. He had an overly excited expression on his face as he lifted her out.

Lillie shook her head, smiling in anticipation.

‘Laundry!’ he exclaimed, eyebrows raised and a maniacal grin on his face. ‘Oh the excitement of the rock ‘n’ roll life, hey Lil?’

She laughed and commented that his laundry would be easy – just the one load of black clothing.

‘Why d’ you think I only wear black or grey? Did you think it was an image thing?’ he teased. ‘Know what else we should do?’ he paused dramatically. ‘Sightsee,’ he proclaimed.

Lillie groaned and screwed up her face.

‘Are you serious? Didn’t you already see Buckingham Palace and all that touristy stuff last time you were here?’ she moaned, pulling on black skinny jeans and a grey and black striped racer back vest. Jed looked disappointed.

‘I thought it would be more fun with a native,’ he replied, also pulling on black jeans and looking around for a clean t-shirt.

‘It won’t be,’ Lillie promised him, turning to the mirror and starting to put make up on. ‘We could go and grab some food and hang out in Hyde Park though. It’s a nice day. We could spend some time together, you know, all of us,’ she suggested, widening her eyes as she applied mascara.

Jed was far more excited about the idea then she thought he would be. So excited that he immediately left the room to go and bang on the various doors of the band, yelling that they were going to Hyde Park. She smiled to herself at his enthusiasm as he rushed back into the room.

‘You know, you need to work on your rock star persona,’ she said, as he danced up to her, taking her hands and twirling her around the room. ‘Aren’t you supposed to be all moody and anti-sunshine, skulking around in dingy pub corners getting trashed?’

‘Well, it’s my day off from all that. It’ll be fun and you’re right, we should spend some time together as a band. Maybe we’ll come up with our number one hit!’ He spun her away and then back into him, dipping her and taking advantage of her vulnerable position to steal a kiss. He straightened her up again as someone knocked on the door, frowning at the interruption.

He opened it to the rest of the band and Kate, mostly looking tired or hungover. Lillie assumed they must have gone out drinking whilst she and Jed had come back to the hotel.

‘Hey guys!’ she said as they all dragged themselves into the tiny room. Standing room only, Lillie thought. Such glamour.

‘Don’t bother getting comfortable,’ Jed instructed, ‘let’s go. We need to get food and beers. Eddie, Johnny, grab your guitars. We’ll do some work this afternoon. Maybe come up with some ideas for the next album.’

***

The sun was shining and it seemed all of London was intent on cramming a month’s worth of vitamin D into one afternoon. Lillie couldn’t blame them: uninterrupted sunshine was scarce in England.

Finding a relatively empty space, they flung themselves onto the grass, the boys immediately reaching for beers and Lillie and Kate grabbing cokes.

Lillie hugged her knees to her chest and watched the band mucking about and joking around with each other. They were so tightly bonded, she wondered if she would ever properly fit in with them. She felt like she barely knew Eddie, and things weren’t much better with Chris. She resolved to spend more time with them, recognising that the entire band needed to be a unit, and she couldn’t just hang out with Jed and Johnny.

Lillie turned away from watching Eddie covertly rolling a joint and noticed that Chris and Kate were sat a little apart from the rest of them. Kate looked ridiculously happy, leaning back into Chris’ chest as he talked in her ear. It was funny, Lillie hadn’t thought of Chris as much of a talker. She realised how little she knew him, and her thoughts inevitably turned to her and Jed. She wondered how much she knew him really. She watched without really seeing as Kate turned a delicate shade of pink and laughed, turning round to smack Chris’ arm in mock outrage.

‘Hey Lil!’ Johnny was waving a hand in front of Lillie’s face. ‘Hellloooo,’ he said.

She started and pushed his hand away, smiling.

‘God, where were you? We were just saying that maybe we should practice that song from last night, you know, “Car Crash Lives”?’ Johnny looked at her and she noticed Jed’s face hovering behind him, looking concerned.

‘Oh, umm, yeah, good idea. I could do with some practice on that one,’ she replied.

‘I know,’ Johnny said wryly. ‘Eddie, you ready?’

Eddie nodded, adjusting the tuning of his E string. Johnny, Jed and Eddie all sat cross-legged and faced Lillie.

‘Ready?’ Jed asked softly. She nodded as he moved over to sit next to her, their knees touching. She felt the jolt of physical desire for him run through her body and sighed inwardly. Sex and Jed seemed to be inescapably linked. She thought that she should probably separate the two. After all, sex wasn’t enough to keep a real relationship going. Although, for now, the sex was enough to keep them besotted with each other. She didn’t have time to ponder further as Eddie started playing the opening chords and Johnny joined in. Lillie noticed that Johnny was actually quite an accomplished guitar player, his antics onstage overshadowing his skill.

Jed started the first verse and Lillie really listened to them playing, appreciating their talent instead of being awed by their performance. She joined Jed in the chorus, her voice belying her shyness at singing out in the open. Jed, still singing, gestured for her to sing louder, his eyes wide with encouragement. Lillie raised her voice slightly, and noticed people turning to watch.

Jed fell quiet as Lillie took over for the second verse, his knee jerking up and down to the silent drum beat, making her leg shake in time too. Chris and Kate had stopped talking and Chris was beating out the bass line on Kate’s knees. Jed joined in again for the chorus and they sang the last verse together, Jed’s rough, low voice contrasting well against Lillie’s softer, more melancholy tones. Lillie could feel herself blushing and she knew her voice held a tremor that showed her embarrassment. Relieved that the song was over, she immediately reached for a beer.

‘That was great but you might wanna work on the blushing,’ Johnny said, a smile on his face.

‘Thanks Johnny,’ Lillie retorted. ‘I can’t help it. I wish I knew how to stop it from happening.’

Jed put his arm around her, pulling her into his side and kissing her hair.

‘Practice, Lil, practice. One day you’ll be onstage and you’ll suddenly realise that you’re not nervous at all. I promise,’ he reassured her. ‘Eddie always used to play with his back or side to the crowd so that they couldn’t see him properly,’ he continued.

‘’S’true,’ piped up Eddie.

Lillie hadn’t even known he was paying attention. Johnny nodded, laughing at the memory.

‘It’s all about faking it ‘til you make it,’ Johnny said. ‘We all shit our pants in the beginning. We know what it’s like to think people are laughing at you or that they’re gonna think you suck. You’ve got it lucky that you’ve come into a band with a fan base, it’s way worse playing in front of people who don’t know your stuff already. Believe me.’ He paused, picking his guitar up again. ‘We’ve got some real horror stories of shit that’s been done to us ‘cos some little pricks didn’t like our music. I’ll tell you all about them but you gotta get over your fear first.’

He swept an arm out and said ‘this is your audience today. Now, they probably won’t throw piss at you but I’m not gonna guarantee it!’ He laughed and Lillie smiled, her face calming down from a searing heat to more of a glowing embers warmth.

Johnny then started playing the beginning of the new song, the one about her and Jed, nodding encouragement at her. She sang the song through, Jed remaining silent but mouthing the words along with her and tapping the beat out on her forearm.

Lillie could feel that she was bright red again but her voice stayed strong and didn’t waver once. When she’d finished, the band and Kate clapped, and she saw that the people nearest to them were looking over and smiling.

‘See,’ crowed Jed, shuffling around to lay his head on her lap and looking up at her, ‘better already, right?’

Lillie nodded her agreement and asked Johnny and Eddie to play a song that wasn’t on their set list. Lillie saw Johnny shoot a panicked look at Jed, whose body stiffened as soon as she said the name of the song. Almost immediately, Jed seemed to relax and he turned his head towards Johnny and Eddie and nodded his agreement.

He stared into the sky as he sang the despondent lyrics to a song that was all rough guitars and insistent drum beats on the album. With just two acoustic guitars, the song sounded more like a lament than it was probably intended to. Half way through, Jed suddenly broke off and sat up abruptly, making Lillie jump.

‘Know what? I really don’t like that song. Let’s do “Dead Untruths”, Lil, you need to know this one for later,’ he said, avoiding her eyes.

Perturbed by his reluctance to sing “Grave Love” and paranoia working double hard, Lillie practised the four or five songs she was singing that night for the next hour or so, but her heart wasn’t in it. She felt like he was hiding something from her and her mind was coming up with all sorts of solutions. Jed had quickly relaxed back into his usual self, charming and tactile, but she found it hard to forget his reaction to the song, and it plagued her throughout the practice session.

Finally bored of playing and singing, even Jed forgot about practising for that night’s gig, and the afternoon degenerated into story telling. Kate and Lillie laughed at the stories of onstage cock-ups, like Jed forgetting lyrics and Johnny falling into Chris’ drum set whilst he whirled round and round like a Tasmanian Devil.

Somewhere, in amongst all the funny anecdotes, Lillie decided that maybe there wasn’t a sinister reason for Jed not liking that particular song, maybe he really just didn’t like it anymore. That wasn’t beyond the realms of possibility, was it? She didn’t want to ruin a fun afternoon by quizzing him about it when it might be nothing. Anyway, she was meant to be spending time bonding with the band, not creating drama when there probably wasn’t any need for it.