How to Ditch Your Fairy (18 page)

Demerits: 4

Game suspensions: 2

Public service hours: 35

Boys who like me: all of them

Girls who hate me: almost all of them

T
he suit felt weird and uncomfortable and itchy. It was the tightest thing I’d ever worn. “This is malodorous,” I declared.

“At least it’s warm,” Fiorenze said.

She was right. It was a lot warmer than our school uniforms.

Once I put the gloves on, the feeling started returning to my fingers and toes.

“Warm?” Rochele said, looking at Steffi.

They grabbed themselves suits and started wriggling into them.

The luge we chose was much lighter than we expected. Getting it to the bottom of the track was easy, getting it any farther, not so much.

“How do we get it up there?” I said.

“There’s a ladder over here,” Steffi caled. The three of us walked over and stared up the narrow insubstantial ladder ascending meters and meters above our heads.

“It has
blades
,” Fiorenze objected. “We can’t carry it up a ladder.”

“Especialy not the world’s talest ladder.”

“It’s making me dizzy,” I said.

We walked back around to the front of the track. It looked like a frozen water slide. The ice coated the whole thing so that you could slide along the sides as wel as the bottom.

“Push it up?” Fiorenze asked.

None of us could see what else to do.

Rochele and Fiorenze being the biggest and strongest got onto the track first. Rochele immediately fel over and slid off, landing on her knees with a thump. “Slippery,” she said, as if an explanation were necessary.

“The toes of your booties have grippy things,” Fiorenze said, demonstrating by walking farther up the track on tiptoe. “If you walk on the front of your foot you won’t slip.”

Rochele looked at her dubiously and climbed back onto the ice, tentatively testing it. “She’s right.”

They climbed a bit farther up, leaning forward, and grabbing the sides of the track when slipping seemed imminent.

When they were ready, Steffi and I pushed the sled up the track.

It occurred to me that being behind the sled increased the chances of being run over by it and losing fingers.

I looked ahead to where the track began. It was a long, long, long way away with many twists and turns. I pushed harder, teetering on my tiptoes.

Then Fiorenze and Rochele grabbed hold of the sled and it lightened.

Steffi and I pushed, making sure to be on the front of our feet.

Before we’d made it around the third turn, the arches of my feet were screaming and sweat ran down my face.

“Do your feet hurt?” I asked Steffi.

“Yes.”

“Are you sweating into your eyes?”

“Yes. But I comfort myself with the fact that my nose is no longer so cold it’s about to drop off and that I’m here with you.”

None of us spoke after that. It was too much effort. We pushed and puled the sled centimeter by centimeter up the track. Each step my feet hurt more, my fingers became crampier, and my sweat turned into a tidal wave.

And then at long last we had the sled in position on the dead flat straight at the very top of the track. It was wider here and the sides were less curved.

“Gah,” Fiorenze said, colapsing onto the wooden platform that marked the start.”

“Double gah,” Rochele said, faling beside her. “My feet!”

“Triple,” said Steffi.

“Times a bilion,” I added, flopping down beside them, rubbing my burning arches with my cramped fingers. The others were doing the same thing. None of us had ever walked up a hil on our toes while shifting a sled. “That has to be the most injured sport ever.”

“Agreed.”

“And we haven’t even gotten to the sporty bit.”

“Um,” Steffi said. “What’s that?”

I looked up from my feet. He was pointing at what looked like an elevator. He stood up and hobbled over to press the button.

“No way,” Rochele said. “If it’s big enough to fit a luge I’m going to scream.”

The doors opened. The elevator was big enough for any number of luges.

Rochele screamed.

Steffi laughed. Fiorenze and I looked at each other and then at our hands and feet. Al that effort and pain and time … How had we not noticed an elevator?

“You’d better hurry,” Rochele said. “Lunch was over ages ago. I don’t want to think about how many demerits I have now.”

“Are you ready to do this?” Fiorenze asked me.

I wasn’t sure I was. I was overheated and tired and my arches burned. But I wouldn’t be standing on them screaming downhil on a sled.”Sure,” I said. “Let’s ditch our fairies.”

We both stood up. It hurt.

“Sounds like a plan,” Steffi said. He wrapped me in a huge hug and kissed me on the lips. Rochele and Fiorenze looked the other way. “Okay, hop in.”

We hopped. Fiorenze clambered to the front of the sled. I arranged myself behind her. “Not exactly comfy, is it?”

“I don’t think nearly dying is meant to be comfortable,” she said, twisting around so I could hear her.

I looked in front at the edges of the track curving around us, briliant and white. It was a pity we hadn’t worn sunglasses. Sitting down, I couldn’t see over the sides, I couldn’t see how far we would fal should it al go horrendously wrong. I didn’t need to see it. We would fal far. Breaking legs and arms wasn’t too bad—

we’d al done those—but broken necks? Not so doos. We were only supposed to
nearly
die.

I focused on the white shining track, on the boyattracting fairy being so scared it would run away.

The sled shifted a little. I turned to see Steffi and Rochele bent with their hands on it.

“Ready,” Steffi caled. I wondered if we were supposed to be wearing goggles. Wouldn’t the air rushing by make our eyes water even worse than the cold?

“Ready,” Fiorenze said.

“Ready,” I repeated.

They pushed.

We moved.

A little bit.

They pushed again.

We moved a little bit farther. My nose was starting to feel cold again and my eyes too.

I turned around. “Maybe you need to start pushing from a run up,” I suggested.

“No way,” Rochele said. “What if I slip and go hurtling down to the bottom? No way am I losing my shopping fairy! It was bad enough pushing the poxy thing up here. I was terrified I was going to slip.”

Steffi shrugged. “No run up.”

I turned back. We were less than two meters from where it started to slope. They pushed again, and then again, and at last we were heading downward, moving not very fast at al.

We came to a halt at the first turn.

“Oh, come on!” I said. “The ice is slippery! This thing has blades.

Why aren’t we zooming along?”

Fio twisted to face me and the sled shifted forward, but then stopped again. “Pox,” she said. “I think we’l have to get out and push.”

“This is malodorous,” I said. “Plus I am so cold I think death is imminent.”

“I don’t think death by freezing is sudden enough to get rid of fairies.”

“Very drol,” I said. “Why are we not going fast? There is ice.

There are blades.”

“Should we try pushing with our hands?” Fiorenze suggested.

I couldn’t see what else we could use.

The sled had come to a rest against a right-hand turn, so we reached out with our left hands, which meant once again I whacked my stupid healed fairy- swapping injury. Poxy thumb! It was mostly healed, but the cold was making it hurt again. We pushed, I winced, the sled moved.

And then stopped again.

“Should have jumped off Merckx. I’m pretty sure it’s the talest building at school.”

“Isn’t Martin a little taler?” Fiorenze asked.

We pushed the luge the rest of the way around the turn until it started to slide down the straight before coming to a halt at the next turn.

“I think it’s because we’re not leaning with our bodies,” Fiorenze said.

“How do you mean?”

“We’ve got to lean the way we want it to turn. See the next turn after this one? It’s going right, so as we approach we’ve got to lean right. Al the way right. You know, like when you’re riding a bicycle.”

Obvious! If she’d explained it better in the first place I would have known what she meant. It was just like boarding. “I got it.”

We used our hands again to push the sled forward, until the blades started shushing across the ice and we were around the corner. We leaned to the right, and took the corner without stopping; we were even picking up speed. Actual air brushed past our faces until we came to a juddering halt at the next turn.

The turn came sooner than expected, we hadn’t shifted in time.

“Pox!”

Fiorenze said something.

“What?”

She turned. “We didn’t shift direction. How stupid are we?”

I sucked my teeth. I didn’t think
I
was stupid at al. The sport of luge, on the other hand … “We’l get it right next time.”

Fiorenze made a noise between a grunt and groan.

“Are you scared?” I asked.

“I’m a smidge afraid that my nose and ears are going to drop off from the cold.”

I teeth-sucked.

“No,” Fio said, “I’m not even a little bit scared.”

“Me neither. I can’t imagine our fairies are either.”

There was nothing remotely scary about our stop- and-start slow descent. The only things Fiorenze and I were likely to die of were cold or boredom.

We made it around the next turn. But not the turn after that. They kept coming up on us before we had time to shift. We slowed down or stopped and had to push, and repeat, until we got to the end of the track. I doubted we’d ever gone more than five kilometers an hour. I could walk faster.

Much.

Demerits: 4

Game suspensions: 2

Public service hours: 35

Boys who like me: all of them

Girls who hate me: almost all of them

Luges dragged up the ice: 1

Luges ridden down the ice: 1

Near deaths: 0

S
teffi helped me out. He was grinning. “You two sure took your time—”

“You can’t be in here!” said a boy I didn’t recognize. “You’re not on the team!”

“No, we’re not,” I said.

The boy turned to me. His face softened.

Fiorenze nudged me. “Your fairy survived the searing speed,” she said.

“Why are you in here?” the boy asked. “I’m Nick.”

“He’s a luger,” Rochele said. “Who likes you.”

“Such a surprise,” Fiorenze said.

Nick wasn’t listening to either of them. “You’re gorgeous,” he told me.

“No, I’m Charlie.”

“Sorry,” Nick said. He was so light skinned that his blush showed purply red on his face and neck.

I pointed to the top of the track. “Me and Fio want to ride this luge al the way down that. We want to do it fast and scary.”

“Oh, no,” Nick said, shaking his head. “That’s too dangerous to start on. Though you two made it seem safe as houses. Do you know I’ve never seen anyone go down it that slowly? Amazing.

You were doing everything wrong. You didn’t even steer.”

“Steer?” Fiorenze asked.

Nick pointed at a piece of rope. “The driver steers with that and the braker brakes.”

“Oh,” I said. I hadn’t even noticed the rope.

“And you were both sitting up. That slows you massively. You should have been lying down.”

“Right, so we steer the luge and lie down in it. What else?”

“Bobsled, not luge. Also it’s a three- person, not a two. That slowed you down as wel. You also need to lean with the turns.

You two seemed to be doing the opposite. It was uncanny.

“Then you have to know the course. We memorize them. Each turn has a number.” He started to recite them.

I tuned out, but Fiorenze was nodding.

“Nick,” I interrupted. “We have to do this now. I have no idea when your felow lugers wil show up.”

“Sliders. We’re caled sliders. But they won’t be here today.

They’re away at a meet on the West Coast.”

That was an excelent piece of luck. I wondered if it was Steffi’s fairy’s doing—keeping us out of trouble.

“Why aren’t
you
there?” Rochele asked.

Nick looked down. “Didn’t pass the physical. Broken arm. It’s pretty much healed. But not enough for Doctor Tahn. You know how they are.”

The four of us nodded. Over the years we’d al had doctors tel us we couldn’t play when we knew we could.

Nick picked out a bobsled he thought was appropriate for us novices and led us to the elevator past the ladder and behind the tracks.

“What are those,” I asked, pointing at two helmetlike objects in the sled. Rochele pressed the button.

“Helmets.”

“No helmets,” I said.

“What?” Nick looked horrified. “You have to wear a helmet!”

“Nope.”

“Maybe we should,” Fiorenze said.

“You realy should,” Nick said. His face was going red.

“How scared is a fairy going to be if we’re wearing helmets?

C’mon, Fio, do you want to get rid of your fairy or not?” I glared at her.

Fiorenze put her hands up. “Fine. But I want it noted that if we die because of no helmets, then it’s your fault.”

The elevator doors opened.

“It’s noted. Get in the poxy elevator.”

Fiorenze, Steffi, Nick, and me stepped in. Rochele didn’t. “I’l see you both at the bottom,” she said. “Good luck.”

“Don’t want to risk your beloved shopping fairy?” I asked.

“Too right,” she said. “I’l be the first to congratulate you on being fairy- less. Break a leg!”

“Ro!” Fiorenze and I exclaimed. “Way to jinx us!”

“Sorry! Lose a fairy, I mean.”

This time we made it to the top in what felt like seconds but was long enough for Nick to start driling us on the course details. Al I could take in was left, right, left, turn twelve, up, down, turn fourteen, blah blah blah, but Fiorenze seemed to be listening.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Nick asked me again. Since he first saw me he hadn’t addressed his comments to anyone else.

Most disconcerting. “It’s dangerous,” he continued. “I didn’t do a run this advanced until more than a year after I’d started, and I was jumping the gun.”

“We’re sure.”

Nick sighed. “Recite the course.”

Fiorenze did and I mumbled along with her.

Nick got into the bobsled to demonstrate how we were supposed to sit, or, rather lie down. He looked like a corpse.

“See?” he said. “This way’s more streamlined than sitting up and leaning forward. I’m offering much less resistance.” He climbed out and smiled at me. “Got it?”

We nodded.

“Show me, then, Charlie.”

Fiorenze climbed in first. Nick seemed a bit put out at having to look at someone other than me.

“You’l be steering. Take this.” He put the rope in her hands.

“Pul this way for right, that for left.”

Fiorenze nodded.

“Now you, Charlie.”

I got in and arranged myself as directed. I didn’t like not being able to see in front of me. Wasn’t that dangerous? Though dangerous was the point.

“Your chin should be tucked in more.” Nick adjusted my chin, unnecessarily running a finger down my cheek.

I sat bolt upright. “No touching!”

Nick’s face went purple. “It was an accident,” he mumbled.

“Was not.”

Fiorenze coughed. “Shouldn’t we be getting on with it?”

“Right,” Nick said, turning his gaze back to me. “The start is tricky because you’re running on ice while pushing the sled along, then jumping in. Professionals don’t always get it right. And if you muck up the start, wel, how do you think I broke my arm?”

We nodded again.

After one lingering glance back at me, he took off running alongside the sled, making it look almost graceful, then swung himself into place, lying completely straight and flat with his hands pinned to his sides. He came to a halt a few meters before the descent, climbed out, and started hauling it back. Steffi ran out to help him.

“Do you think you can do that?”

Fio and I both nodded even though we had no chance at al. But getting it right wasn’t as important as getting it scary.

“Promise you’l be careful,” Nick said.

“I’l be careful!”

“Ready?” Fiorenze asked.

“Ready?” Fiorenze asked.

“Ready,” I said. Steffi gave me a kiss for luck and Nick glared at him.

We got in position beside the bobsled.

“We’l definitely go faster this time,” I said.

Fiorenze nodded.

“It wil be vastly scary. Nick’s assessment of our competence wil be shared by our fairies. They’l be gone within seconds.”

Fiorenze laughed.

“On three. One. Two. Three.”

We took off running on the tips of our toes.

Mine cramped up instantly.

The pain was too much. I screamed. I tried to switch to running normaly. My feet slipped out from under me. I lost my grip on the sled and went flying down the track on my stomach.

Fiorenze skidded beside me, screaming. I could hear the shush of the sled’s blade just behind us. We were going to lose fingers
and
break bones. Why had I rejected the helmets?

“Bloody benighted fragging poxy doxhead fairies of dung!” I screamed. Or at least that’s how it was in my head. I think it came out as a strangled
aargh
.

I was going so fast water streamed out of my eyes and down my face. My body shifted right, then left, then right, going with the turns without my doing anything on purpose. I was just faling. I could

imagine the fright a fairy would be experiencing, because I was experiencing it.

The track zoomed by so fast now that everything was spinning in white. It and Fiorenze’s terrified face were al I could see.

I didn’t want to die.

I didn’t even want to
nearly
die.

If I were a fairy I would have jumped off by now.

Then I did jump off. Fiorenze too.

There was no ice underneath me, just air. And a sled flying over my head.

The jolt went through my entire body. Even my toenails rattled.

Beside me someone groaned.

I turned my head.

It was Fiorenze. She was sitting up. She smiled at me. It lacked wattage.

Neither of us said anything for a dazed second. Or minute. Or hour. It was hard to tel.

“Are you al right?” Steffi asked. At least I thought it was Steffi.

The sounds were far away.

“I think so,” I said, sitting up.

Bad idea. My head throbbed.

Fiorenze tried to stand up. She wobbled.

“Steady,” Steffi said, grabbing her shoulder. He guided her as she sank back down. I bet I would wobble too. In fact, it felt like I already was.

“I can’t believe I just helped you do that,” Nick said. I made myself focus on his face. His face was more purple than before.

Veins stood up on his forehead. I wondered if they were love veins.

“The sled is cracked al the way through. We’re going to be so demerited we wind up expeled.”

“Relax,” I said. “Stefan’s here. He’s got a don’t-worry-it’l-be-fine fairy. Hey! You don’t like me, do you, Nick?”

“You destroyed a sled!”

“Do you want to go out sometime, Nick? We could see a movie or go to the beach.”

Nick looked at me as if I had gone insane.

“Fio! Fairy’s gone!” I yeled, even though it hurt. “My fairy’s gone!”

“Yes,” Fiorenze said. She made another stab at standing.

“Careful,” Steffi said, offering her a hand. “You don’t look so great.”

“I’ve felt better,” she said in a voice as wobbly as she looked.

Steffi offered me his left hand, while keeping Fio steady with his right. I took it. “You don’t look okay either,” he said.

“Okay,” I said. “Yes, that is me.” The hal looked bigger than it had. The ceiling was now farther away than the sky. Also it had been redecorated with lots of wiggling dots.

“I don’t think so, Charlie,” I heard Steffi say. “Your eyes are al white.”