How to Kill Yourself in a Small Town (32 page)

Tough

“This
had better be damned important.” I could hear big, bad Mayor Kathan clear as
day through the coffin. “In half an hour I’m going to have a parlor full of
dignitaries waiting for me to welcome them to the Armistice Tenth Anniversary
Celebration and—”

“We
weren’t just going to leave him to take off when it got dark.” Bailey really
had some big brass balls—I’ll give her that—but if she was a guy I bet Kathan
would’ve ripped them off for interrupting him. “He killed Ajax Carpenter this
morning and we’re petitioning for extermination.”

“Does
this look like a fucking city council meeting to you?” Kathan said. “Petition
denied. Get out.”

“You
can’t just deny it because you’ve—”

“The
hell I can’t. The second Carpenter crossed the line between person and NP, he
became responsible for his own defense,” Kathan said. “Mikal, show the Council
how to use a fucking exit door.”

The
sound of footsteps on thick carpet. A door shutting. One human heart and one
old, old heart in the room with my coffin.

“Go
ahead,” Kathan told someone. “Just no staking.”

The
latch scraped and the lid opened. The can lights in the ceiling stabbed me in
the eyes. Back at the house my pupils had adjusted to the dim light, but with
the garlic paralyzing me, they couldn’t contract.

Stupid
fucking being a vamp.

In
my peripheral, I saw Kathan walking away, farther into this ugly-ass living
room. Heard him sit down. Getting comfortable for the show, I guess. Then
Desty’s face with Tempie’s nose ring leaned over me. She looked like she wanted
to spit poison in my paralyzed-open eyes. Over the smell of girl and Kathan’s
various bodily fluids, Tempie smelled sweet and sticky, like caramel.

“I
cannot believe you fucked around on my sister with that little blond bitch,”
she said.

Great,
so everybody knew about Scout. You really can’t keep a lid on shit in this
town.

Tempie
was looking into my eyes, so I tried that thing I’d done to Desty the other
day.

Take
the garlic out of my mouth.
I showed her how, told her she wanted to,
and tried to push it on her, but all that did was piss her off more.

“Do
you have any idea what I am, you dumbass durr-Chevy-man-whore? I am the fucking
Destroyer. I can end you.” Tempie got this smile on her face like a little brat
who knows she can get away with anything. “Kathan’s going to let me when Mikal
gets done with you.”

I
wished I could’ve made a smart remark to that, but even without the garlic,
there was still that whole thing with Jason Gudehaus.

And
Jax.
Not having a voice anymore was that whole thing with Jason and Jax now. Why the
hell couldn’t Jax have been a little faster on the draw with his magic? He
traded my voice for it, he should’ve known how to use it better.

Tempie
grabbed my throat and dug her fingernails in. It felt like she was jamming
knives into my windpipe.

“Desty’s
the best thing that will ever happen to a walking postmortem-STD incubator like
you,” she said. “And you traded her away for the first piece of ass that walked
down the street.”

Tempie
let go of my throat and hit me right above my broken rib. The whole left side
of my rib cage caved in. She threw a pretty damn good punch for a human, let
alone a girl.

“What’s
your problem, anyway?” Tempie hit me again.

That
hissing was definitely a lung collapsing. At least I didn’t need it anymore.
For a second, I wondered why I didn’t black out from the pain. Then I
remembered that vampires don’t lose consciousness, they’re either undead or
dead, no in-between. One more perk of being a stupid fucking vamp.

“All
Mom ever did was love you and you couldn’t even tell her what you were doing?”
Tempie yelled. “You fucking sorry excuse for a man.”

Nice
Daddy issues.
I tried to keep thinking that so seeing Tempie
cry wouldn’t kill me. Even with the nose ring and the hair and the bitchiness,
she looked so much like Desty when she cried.

Then
Tempie grabbed her spike-heeled hooker shoe and swung it at my chest.

“Temperance,”
Kathan said.

She
stopped short, opened her hand and let the shoe drop. Really slowly, she stood
up.

“Fine,”
Tempie said. “I can wait. What we’ve got in store for you is better than a fast
trip to Hell, anyway.”

“That’s
my girl,” Kathan said, coming into my line of sight. He grabbed Tempie and
kissed her, pushing her with his body until the back of her knees were against
the coffin.

I
didn’t have a problem with making out and some heavy petting in public—that
would be pretty hypocritical considering Mitzi and I had gotten arrested at the
last Armistice Celebration for banging on the Ferris wheel—but they were really
getting into it.

Kathan
bent her over the coffin and slid his hand down her super-short skirt and
between her legs. She moaned and pushed against him.

“Getting
a good look?” he asked me. “This is the first thing I’m going to do to Modesty
when she comes running to me, begging to be my familiar. Second? Hell, you’ve
got an imagination. Now imagine it with twins.”

I
went crazy inside. There wasn’t even a type of music for that kind of
pissed-off psycho screaming. Just fucking insane.

Kathan
laughed like he could hear it.

Across
the room, the door opened and more wings rustled. The hot, black smell that was
still all over Colt hit me.

“Rian
just reported seeing Modesty walking up the road toward the mansion,” Mikal
said.

“Have
him pick her up,” Kathan said.

The
door closed and cut off Mikal’s scent.

Kathan
smirked down at me.

“Looks
like I’m going to get to do that with Modesty sooner than I thought,” he said.
He yanked the garlic bag out of my mouth. “All right. Let’s get the pissing
contest out of the way.”

My
legs were asleep, so I grabbed the sides of the coffin and tried to ramp myself
out at him. But I was too focused on the rigor mortis to be ready for the
healing. Feeling maggots eating away at my insides and shoving my bones back
into place—I couldn’t take it. My knees gave out. I cracked my head on the
corner of the coffin and barely felt it over the healing.

“High
noon and not a cloud in the sky, Tough,” Kathan said. “Trapped like the very
last dumbass Whitney. Not that you haven’t been damned useful. Colt never
would’ve killed you, not even with Mikal working on him for another month. Now
this whole fucking world is going to be mine. I suppose I ought to thank you.”

I
pulled my hand off my stomach long enough to flip Kathan a “You’re welcome”
with my middle finger. The last rib inched itself out of my organs and snapped
into place with a firecracker bang. The place where I hit my head started to
work itself out, but I didn’t wait. I kicked in the vamp speed and went after
Tempie.

It
was a bluff, but Kathan reacted before I got close enough to have to stop. He
grabbed me by the neck and threw me into the stained glass window over his
couch. I guess I should’ve considered it lucky that the damn thing didn’t break
and send me up in flames, but I was having trouble seeing it that way with the
back of my skull smashed flat.

The
healing started again before I hit the floor. I heard Tempie laughing as I
tried to tear the back of my head off, but until the brains unsquished
themselves, it sounded like her giggling was coming from underwater.

Kathan
was prowling around me, ready for more.

“Do
you want to hear the real irony, Tough?” he asked.

No.
I didn’t
want to hear any more bragging or explanations or
this-is-all-going-according-to-plan bullshit. All I wanted was to beat the hell
out of someone besides my best friend or my brother for a change.

I
pushed up, sprinted. Lowered my shoulder, aiming for Kathan’s stomach. He took
the hit and rolled with it. Came up on top.

Damn
body heat. Kathan’s internal temp had to be over one-fifty and feeling it
against me was making me hard.

“Flattering,”
he said, “But you’re not my type.”

I’m
a top anyhow,
I thought.

Me
laughing surprised Kathan. He hesitated. I tried Colt’s trick, wrapping my legs
around Kathan’s chest, but my boot got caught up on his wing. I kicked the base
where it connected to his shoulder blade. That pitched him off balance. Before
he could catch himself, I punched him in the throat. Ryder would’ve been proud.

Kathan
coughed and stumbled back. I was going after him when something took me out.
Tempie had hit me in the face with a big-ass crucifix. I felt that burning cold
freeze me down to my soul.

When
I could see again, Kathan was pulling me up one-handed by my shoulder. He hit
me hard enough to break my jaw. My fangs tore open my lip.

“The
irony is,” Kathan said, bouncing my head off the side of the coffin, “There was
a time I actually wondered whether I’d be able to defeat His chosen soldiers.”
He grabbed my head on the rebound and smashed it into the coffin again. “But
that was back before I knew they were a bunch of fucking rednecks.”

Things
were getting a little blurry from all the head-smashing. I know I ripped the
lid off the coffin and swung it at Kathan, but he moved so fast that vamp speed
looked like slow motion in comparison. He must’ve wrenched the lid out of my
hands. I heard it snap over his knee, then he grabbed my left arm, yanked it
out of the socket, and chopped my broken rib with a piece of the coffin lid. I
tried to twist away from another hit, but I wasn’t moving right. He was going
for three when the door opened.

That
foamy citrus beer smell filled the room. Kathan stopped before the coffin lid
smacked me again. I dropped, probably looking like the world’s biggest pussy
rolling around holding my side.

“Modesty,”
Kathan said.

“Tough!”
I heard Desty running, then she was leaning over me, looking down. She really
was like an angel—the good kind that has your back, not the kind that’s always
kicking your ass. “Are you all right?”

I
nodded, but had to stop while my jaw and newest broken ribs snapped back
together. Then my arm twisted and popped back into place. Desty had to shake
seeing that off, so it must’ve looked as bad as it felt.

Then
she helped me up and I kissed her. She tried to pull away, but I shot Kathan
another one-fingered salute over her shoulder and squeezed her butt with my
other hand.

“Tough.”
Desty’s face was getting red.

I
let her go. She looked at me for a second like
“What the hell?”
but she
didn’t wait for an answer. She turned around to face Kathan and Tempie.

“You
know I’m not ever going to become your familiar if you stake Tough,” Desty
said. “It has to be a willing agreement on my part, doesn’t it? Or the
Destroyer thing doesn’t work?”

Kathan
gave her this Prince Fucking Charming smile.

“You
have been doing your homework,” he said. “Don’t worry. According to the
non-person laws, Carpenter provoked the attack by extracting Tough’s voice
while Tough was still human. Tough was within his rights to retaliate. The
Witches’ Council or any relatives of Carpenter’s can choose to pursue the
matter, but Tough is free to leave right now. I won’t stop him. Hell, I’ll walk
him to the door.”

I
made a sarcastic laugh-face at him.

“Oh.
Okay,” Desty said. Her shoulders relaxed some and she pushed her hair off of
her face. “So he’s completely off the hook?”

“He
has nothing to fear from a non-person legal standpoint,” Kathan said.

I
could feel the rest of the tension bleed out of her. She’d been really wound
up, ready to fight for me. Man, she was so ridiculous and sweet, trying to act
badass. When this was over, I had to think of a way to get her to stay with me.
Over my staked fucking corpse would she end up with Mayor Dickhead.

“I—um—also,
I need to talk to Tempie,” Desty said. “Alone.”

“Kathan
stays,” Tempie said. “Anything you have to say to me, you can say to him. I’m
just going to tell him anyway.”

“No,
I mean without the essence,” Desty said. “Is that possible? For you to release
her for a minute so I can ask her some things?”

Tempie
moved so fast that I couldn’t have gotten between her and Desty without the
vamp reflexes. I had just enough time to see Tempie’s fist, then I was on the
floor and Desty was helping me pick myself up again. Well, mostly picking me
up.

“Temperance,”
Kathan said. It was a warning.