How to Love (8 page)

“This is amazing,” one of the tour members said, gazing around. The cool air brushed over Jules’s face, and she inhaled the different scent of the damp rock and plants and sea water inside the cave.

“This is a relatively small sea cave,” Mike said. “And probably relatively young. This one, formed on a fault, is fairly straight.” He indicated the walled sides of the cave. “Compare to Catacombs Cave on Anacapa Island, it’s simple. That one was formed where at least six faults intersect. From the name, you can gather that it’s more complex, with narrow passages opening up into larger chambers. But this one is still interesting and it’s easily accessible from the area by kayak.”

Jules continued to fire off images, loving how with her digital camera she didn’t have to worry about using too much film. Later, she’d load them onto her Mac and get rid of the images she didn’t like.

“Sorry for the geology lesson,” Mike murmured in her ear.

She lowered her camera and glanced at him over her shoulder. “It’s fascinating. Thank you so much for bringing me here.”

When they re-emerged into the bright sunshine, she blinked rapidly.

“Do you climb?” Mike asked her.

She looked at the rock wall. “You mean rock climb?”

“Yeah.”

She gave him a pursed-lip look. “I’m afraid of heights—remember?”

“Oh yeah.” He grinned. “Nothing to be afraid of. Carlos and I can teach you. We could bring you here sometime. When you get about two-thirds of the way up, there’s a flat area that gives amazing views of the coast.”

She swallowed. “Um. Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

No way in hell was she climbing up the face of a rock. She knew there were safety measures of some kind, ropes and stuff like that, but even so, it seemed dangerous and she almost felt light-headed just thinking about being up that high.

Although the thought of getting some amazing shots from an unusual vantage point like that was very tempting…

She surreptitiously wiped the sweat from her palms on her board shorts.

They spent a little more time exploring the small cove before turning their kayaks back toward San Amaro and paddling along. The trip on the way back was leisurely and she wanted to ask Mike if he planned it that way. It seemed to make sense that people would have more energy and be more interested in getting to their destination on the first half of the trip. This time, he spent even more time talking about various points of interest they passed, including pointing out a distant school of dolphins, their barely visible dark shapes curving in and out of the water in smooth arcs.

Jules watched them in fascination and wonder until they were too distant to really see, and she kept imagining the waves rising up were dolphins. She sighed. It would be amazing to get closer to them and get photographs. But not in a kayak. And even so, a gazillion people had shot images of dolphins, and far better than she could ever do.

For a moment she had a feeling of utter worthlessness. She knew she was good at what she did, but lately every effort seemed weighed down with banality, with boredom, with a complete lack of inspiration. She so badly needed to add images to her gallery to keep it going. She was just starting to do well and she couldn’t rest on that success, she needed to do more.

And yet never in her life had she felt so demoralized.

She sighed. She’d probably gotten some good shots today, she shouldn’t be so hard on herself when she hadn’t even looked at them. It would come back to her, the inspiration, the motivation, the joy of capturing images…she knew it would.

Chapter Five

“It’s been two weeks. And you still haven’t slept with her.”

Mike lifted his piece of toast and peanut butter to his mouth, sitting in their kitchen Saturday morning. “I know.”

“What’s taking so long?”

He gave a wry grin. He and Carlos had to have the most bizarre relationship. How many other people in the world would understand this? Half the time he didn’t himself. But it worked for them. Usually. Sometimes Carlos’s impatience irritated him, but at that moment he felt more guilty.

“She’s complicated,” he told Carlos. “I don’t want to push too hard. I have the feeling that’s the wrong thing to do.”

Mike’s mood also had something to do with sexual frustration. If it wasn’t for Carlos, his balls would be as big and blue as bowling balls. He couldn’t help but snicker at the image despite his sexual frustration.

“What?” Carlos asked.

“Never mind. Look, trust me on this one. We don’t want to rush things.”

“Maybe we should just tell her about us.”

Mike snorted. “Yeah, ’cause that’s worked out so well before.” Reactions ranged from women completely freaked out who couldn’t get away from them fast enough, to women who’d been happy to have ménage sex with two men, but who sure as hell hadn’t been in it for the long term. “We just had our first ‘date’ the other night. I don’t sleep with girls on the first date.”

Now it was Carlos’s turn to laugh, then sigh. “Yeah. I know. But you two have been spending a lot of time together.”

“She’s just using me,” Mike said, with a little twist of something inside him. They
had
been spending time together, as he’d taken her kayaking, hiking and biking. She’d been snapping pictures like crazy, but he knew she still wanted him naked. In her studio. And truth be told, in her bed. He was pretty sure of that and
that
was why they still hadn’t slept together. Once again, he grinned. He wasn’t that easy.

“So do it. Let her take her naked pictures.”

Mike sat back in his chair. “Yeah. Maybe I will.”

“Seriously?”

“Why not?”

Carlos shrugged, a smile quirking the corners of his mouth. “I never could think of a good reason not to. You’re the one who’s playing hard to get.”

“True. But there’s a method behind my madness, or however that saying goes.”

“If you say so.”

“I took her to a movie last night. Tonight we’re having dinner. Maybe she’ll get lucky tonight.”

Carlos’s laugh turned into a groan. “Oh man.”

“You wanna be there, don’t you?” Mike leaned forward, eyes on Carlos’s face.

“Hell, yeah.”

“Have patience,” Mike said softly, reaching out to rub his thumb over Carlos’s bottom lip.

“I’m trying.”

Mike leaned closer still and kissed him, a fast hard kiss. “I know. And it’s killing you. I know this is hard. Believe me, it’s not easy for me either.”

“Sometimes I wish we could just be satisfied with what we’ve got.”

“I
am
satisfied with what I’ve got.” Mike held his gaze steadily, and they shared a long look of frustration and love.

“I know. I know. Me too. But you know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean,” Mike acknowledged with a sigh. “But maybe Jules is the one. I really like her. A lot. I don’t want to screw up. She’s…different. But like I said, complicated. We’ve been spending time together and I know she likes me too, but…it’s hard to get inside her head.”

Carlos had backed away from flirting with Jules or spending any time alone with her, leaving things wide open for Mike. “Yeah. I know.”

Mike rubbed his cheek against Carlos’s stubbled one then brushed his mouth over Carlos’s again. “If it works, it’ll be worth it,” he said softly. “Right?”

Carlos grasped his wrist. “Right.”

They sat like that for a moment, faces pressed together, and then Mike shifted back. “Okay let’s get going. We’ve got a ton of stuff to do today.”

The home store was their first stop, where they picked up paint, tape, brushes, rollers and drop cloths. And spent a freaking fortune, but that was what happened when you bought a fixer-upper house. While they were there, they spent some time roaming the aisles, perusing bathroom fixtures, tiles and cabinets, arguing over a pedestal sink versus one with a vanity, lusting after a big Jacuzzi tub.

“Hey, we could get a hot tub out on the patio,” Carlos said. “We have room for it.”

“Hell yeah.”

“Let’s go check some out.”

Mike slapped a hand on his back as they headed to the check out. “No.”

“Why not?”

“We’ve spent enough money today. Let’s get this painting and the bathroom done first, then we can look at hot tubs.”

“But I want it now,” Carlos said with a stubborn edge to his voice.

Mike laughed. “I know, I know. Jesus. You don’t just go out and spend ten grand on a hot tub on the spur of the moment. You do the research.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

They’d decided to start their painting with the living room, using a dark taupe color. Soon the furniture was pushed to the center of the room and covered with cloths, the step ladder was set up and they were ready to go.

“Shit, I hate spending a nice Saturday stuck inside,” Carlos said, pouring paint into a tray.

“I know. Me too. But once we get this work done we can spend our weekends however we want.” And he couldn’t help think, hopefully with Jules.

As he cut in the edges and Carlos rolled on paint, he thought about his date that evening. Even their movie “date” had been more of a “friends” thing, although he
had
kissed her good night. And that time it had been on the mouth. He smiled and felt heat pool at his groin, remembering the kiss on her doorstep. So sweet and old-fashioned. And so hard to stop when he just wanted to kiss her senseless, drag her into her house and bang her brains out.

Now he was really hard and horny. He bit his lip and studied the paint he’d just applied. These darker colors had to be perfect. He needed to think about what he was doing, not Jules. He’d see her soon enough.

He was taking her to Star, an upscale restaurant owned by some super chef who apparently was famous on TV or something. The food was supposed to be amazing, the atmosphere elegant and upscale. He personally liked a good burger, but taking Jules to a place like that made it seem more…important. Significant. Like tonight was going to be the night.

More heat shot to his dick. Fuck. Why couldn’t he keep his mind off her?

“Dude. Need some help with that?”

He glanced at Carlos, thinking he was talking about the painting, but Carlos gave his crotch a meaningful look. Mike grimaced and cupped his aching cock. “Maybe,” he muttered.

Carlos smirked.

Later that afternoon, he and Carlos stood in the arched entrance to the room and surveyed their work. “Not bad,” Carlos said. “We can do another coat tomorrow.”

“Let’s clean up. I need to have a shower.”

“Gotta get ready for the hot date,” Carlos said with a grin.

After the brushes and rollers and trays were washed up, Mike headed to the small bathroom off his bedroom and stripped off the old shorts he’d worn for painting. With a toss of a coin, he’d scored the master bedroom with attached bath when they’d moved in, and Carlos had the room across the hall, although really they slept together pretty much every night in the king size bed in Mike’s room. But they each liked having their own space.

He soaped up, making sure to get all the taupe paint off his hands, and shampooed. After drying his hair, he debated shaving, studying his stubble in the mirror, rubbing his jaw. Did Jules like stubble or clean-shaven?

He grimaced and rolled his eyes. “Jesus, get over yourself, buddy,” he muttered, heading naked into the bedroom. He grabbed a pair of black pants and a narrow-fitting gray shirt that he left untucked. He shoved his wallet into his back pocket and strode out to the kitchen where Carlos had made himself some macaroni and cheese.

“You get to eat gourmet cuisine,” Carlos said. “I get Kraft Dinner. Something’s wrong with this picture.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll make it up to you.”

“Dick tease,” Carlos muttered.

Mike laughed and Carlos’s lips twitched. Mike glanced at his cell phone. “Almost six-thirty. I told Jules I’d come by then. Our reservation’s at seven. Don’t wait up.”

“I won’t.” Carlos gave him a salute.

It took Jules a few minutes to answer her door after his knock, and he leaned against the doorjamb, waiting. When she appeared, he blinked at her. Wow.

“Hi,” she said, stepping back. “Come on in.”

He followed her into the little foyer, taking in her floaty black dress. Layers of sheer black fabric wrapped around her slender body, flaring out around her knees, leaving her arms bare. She wore jaw-dropping black stiletto heels.

“You look great,” he said, voice coming out gritty.

“Thanks. So do you. Would you like a drink before we go?”

He followed her into her little kitchen and spied the open bottle of wine and a glass with a few drops of red wine left in it. “Sure.”

He watched her pluck another glass from a cupboard then pour it, and he was almost sure her fingers trembled a little as she did so. Her cheeks were pink, although it could have been a little more makeup than she usually wore, because her eyes were also darker with shadow, accentuating the unusual lavender color of them. Her long eyelashes fluttered as she handed him the glass, looking at him then quickly away.