How to Ruin Your Boyfriend's Reputation (25 page)

but I'm not about to shoot this thing without Avi telling me to.

I move right next to him as he pulls small binoculars out of his pocket and surveys the area. He pushes that button again on the headset he's wearing and talks softly into the microphone in Hebrew.

"We'll stay here and wait for instructions from the team leader."

"Who's the team leader?"

"Nimrod."

"Why not you?"

"Because Nimrod doesn't have a civilian tagging along on the mission who also happens to be someone he's romantically involved with."

Wait. Does that mean... "Avi, were you the team leader ten minutes ago?"

"It doesn't matter."

Oh, no. It's bad enough I've been dragged into military war games because of my own curiosity and stupidity. But Avi being stripped of his team leader status because of me is awful. "Let me be captured so you can be team leader again."

He shakes his head. "Not happening."

"Why not?"

"Because this is real, Amy. Even though this isn't real war, we're supposed to act like it is. It's not capture
the
flag in gym class. In a real situation, I'd give my life up to protect yours. I know it and my entire squad knows it. That makes both of us liabilities."

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I'm quiet as this new news sinks in. "You'd die for me, Avi?"

He pulls the mask off his face. His soul is reflected in the depths of his pupils. "I'd do just about anything for you."

Heart-melting time. I'd do anything for Avi, even die for him. I'm not sure he's convinced I'm tough enough to deal with the war games scenario. One thing I know for sure, though, is that I've single-handedly ruined my boyfriend's reputation. He got demoted because of me. How am I supposed to fix it?

Avi, oblivious to the fact that I'm ruining his military career, talks to his squad and waits. Then he talks again, getting information from Nimrod and passing back information from our end. "Doron got hit." He lets out a breath and shakes his head. "This isn't good."

"Where's Nimrod?"

"Near the other team's headquarters, where Ori is being held. Come on," he says. "Crawl on your stomach to the big rock over there. Stay low."

I follow Avi to the big rock, my knees scraping the desert floor and my monoboob pressed to the ground. I don't complain, but look on the bright side of being caught in the middle of war games: I'm with Avi.

I wished on the shooting star, and my wish came true. Next time I should specify for it not to be while he's in the middle of war games, but whatever. Being
with
Avi is better than the alternative, any day.

Avi is listening to instructions from Nimrod. He motions

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me forward, so we're side by side. "Udi is covering Nimrod so he can rescue the hostage. I told them they needed a second cover man, but Nimrod ordered me to stay put."

"You think they can do it?"

"Yeah. But it's risky with us being outnumbered." Avi pulls out his binoculars and surveys the situation.

"Can you see them?"

"No. They're out of sight range."

"What happens if they're caught?"

He looks at me and shrugs. "Then it's just us."

I hear the pop-pop-pop of gunfire. Avi curses again. "Nimrod's down. Udi's captured. The other team ambushed them. Nimrod and Udi got two down before getting hit. It's just you and me," he says. "I probably don't have to tell you the odds aren't in our favor."

I'm to blame for Avi's team dying and/or being captured, one by one, as soon as I arrived. "Are you giving up?" I ask him.

"No."

"Because I have a plan."

"I do, too. It involves me opening fire when they start shooting at us. The other team knows me, and they know I'm not going down without a fight."

"I have a better plan. One that might give us the advantage."

"Let's hear it," he says, gesturing for me to share my idea.

"You'll really listen to my suggestion?"

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"Of course. My girlfriend might be an American princess, and gets herself into ridiculous situations all the time... but she's no dummy."

I straighten my back and hold my head high, ready to reveal my perfect plan. "Avi, take off your clothes."

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Chapter 28

Who knew the best time of your life could be
on a mountain, in the middle of a desert,
caught up in war games?

With an M16 retrofitted paintball machine gun in my hand and Avis clothes on my body, I head into enemy territory. The mask is too big, the shirt is flimsy except in the boob area, and the pants are about to fall off, but I manage to look enough like Avi maneuvering through the rocks.

My heart is racing wildly, because I know it's just a matter of time until they realize I've got boobs and not muscular pecs. While my boyfriend is slinking around the other side in his undies, with black paint on his body (my artwork, thanks to the small container of face paint he had in his vest) and his own paintball gun, I'm the decoy.

Avi gave me specific instructions to surrender so I don't get hit. They won't fire unless fired upon. Although I know

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and they know that Avi would never go down without a fight.

I run from one rock to another just like Avi told me to. (Imagine one of those ducks going back and forth in a carnival shooting game.) I'm still a bit shocked he agreed to my plan, but it just goes to show that a great leader like Avi knows how to listen as well as lead. I admit it took a little coaxing from me. At first he wasn't into letting me become the target. But when I assured him I'd be okay, and that we were in this together, he finally relented.

He said to count to ten and then hold my hands over my head to surrender. But as two of the opposing team members move closer to me, cornering me on both sides, I start to panic. They're too far away to make out that it's me, but I desperately want Avi to have time to rescue the hostages from his squad and fix this botched exercise. I have to help him, even if it means opening fire to kill the enemy. I wouldn't shoot anyone in real life, because even after all of this training, I'm still totally for peace and happiness and rainbows and sushi.

But this is paintball. And I'm taking no prisoners.

I turn my gun on
auto
and shoot.

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

Little paint balls are flying ferociously out of my gun. Since it's dark, I have no clue what I'm shooting, and hope I'm hitting at least some part of the enemy squad. I'm Rambo and GI Jane all wrapped into one.

Something hard whacks my back and thigh. "Ouch!" I scream. "That hurt!"

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I look down at my thigh and realize I've been hit.

By a paintball.

I'm officially dead. I think.

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Chapter 29

Everyone should try living in the gray areas of life at least once.

I'll have you know I took down two guys before I was paintballed to death. My idea actually worked. During the shootout, Avi was able to rescue Udi and Ori. They captured the last guy on the other team and we were victorious.

That's the good news.

The bad news (besides the paintball-sized welts I have on my thigh and stomach) is that I'm waiting in a large military tent, with Avi sitting on the chair next to me, about to be debriefed on how I got into the war games in the first place. At least they let us change back into our own clothes.

The guy who's in charge of the war games isn't Sergeant B-S. It's this other guy, with a bunch of stripes on the side of his sleeve, who happens to be sitting at a table

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opposite us in the tent. He's dark-skinned, bald, and does not look happy.

I don't know his rank, but he's high up there.

Considering I'm zero rank, I can't be demoted. But Avi can. And even though he personally had nothing to do with me wandering into the war games, he ended up being an accomplice.

When Sergeant B-S files into the tent, his stern
eyes
focus on me. This is not good. It's the same look my dad gave me when he found out I'd taken his credit card and signed him up for an online Jewish dating service.

"How did you get here?" he asks me. The bald guy with the high rank stands next to him.

I clear my throat and will myself to stay strong and positive. With Avi beside me, I get an inner strength. "I kind of wandered away from our campsite to find a place to relieve myself."

I know that telling them the entire truth--that I also wanted to say goodbye to Avi--wouldn't go over too well. I decide to play the confused American girl. I know, I know, I'm not doing my country any favors by playing dumb. But my friend Kayleigh from Georgia totally uses her southern accent to get what she wants. And this girl Renee at my school--she's super-smart and super-blond-- plays the dumb blond so that guys give her attention and come to her rescue even if she doesn't need rescuing.

Who says I can't play the game for my and Avi's benefit? They don't call it
war games
for nothing.

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"I got lost," I lie. "So I followed noises, hoping it would lead me back to the campsite."

Sergeant B-S huffs at my explanation and definitely looks skeptical. "Gefen," he says, staring solidly at Avi. "Why did she have a paintball gun in her possession?"

Avi quickly glances at me, then looks at the sergeant and the bald guy. "After I found her wandering on the rocks, and realized I couldn't take her back without revealing my location to the enemy when we were already down by two men, I recruited her."

"Recruited
her? Instead of
protected
her? She's a civilian. That was bad judgment, Gefen," the bald guy pipes in. "What right did you have to
recruit
her?"

"I was team leader. I made the decision based on my professional opinion of her abilities."

The bald guy crosses his arms over his chest. "You've got to be kidding me."

I raise my hand tentatively.

"What?" he barks at me, just as the rest of Avi's squad enters the tent.

"Sir, I might not be Israeli, but my father is. He was a commando. And my boyfriend is a Sayeret Tzefa trainee. I'm trained in Krav Maga and I've just spent time in boot camp."

"She's a good soldier," Nimrod says from behind Sergeant B-S. "If it weren't for her being a decoy, our squad would have lost. Avi made the right decision."

^a
Ze nachon--it's true," Ori says.

Nimrod shrugs. "It was quick thinking on Avi's part. And Amy's, too. Protecting someone unarmed would

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have put him at a further disadvantage, so he gave her the means to protect herself."

Sergeant B-S turns to Avis current superior. "Commander, what's your assessment?"

The bald commander stares at Avi and me. "I think Gefen should be reprimanded for not following procedure. And commended for his quick thinking."

"Does that mean he's not in trouble?" I ask hopefully.

"That means he gets the pleasure of running extra kilometers every day for the next week," the commander says.

"Don't think
you're
free and clear of this mess, Ms. Nelson-Barak," Sergeant B-S tells me. "I'm thinking of assigning you permanent kitchen duty until you leave."

Ugh. Not again. Picking bees out of jam, brushing ants off bread.
Amy, look on the bright side,
I tell myself. Well, at least I'm not going to be eating any more Loof. Next to Loof, the food back on base is an absolute delicacy. How's that for positivity?

"Move out, everyone," Sergeant B-S calls out. "You've got a few hours to sleep before wakeup." He then tells me that Liron is waiting for us in a military jeep to drive us back to the campsite.

I look over at Avi, and a wave of sadness washes over me. What if I don't see him for another year?

"I'll give you five minutes, Gefen." Sergeant B-S points to Nimrod. "Stay here as chaperone."

Nimrod nods, then when everyone leaves the tent besides the three of us, Nimrod turns around and gives us what little privacy he can.

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Avi takes me in his arms and holds me close.

A lump forms in my throat and tears well in my eyes. I can't keep the first tear from falling. Avi holds my face in his hands and swipes the tear away.

"Tell her you love her already," Nimrod says, his back still to us.

"She already knows I do," Avi says.

"Girls like to be told."

"How would you know?" Avi shoots back.

Nimrod shrugs. "I don't. I'm guessing."

Avi leans down and kisses me, his lips warm and gentle. I pull him closer, not wanting to let him go.

When Nimrod coughs out a one-minute warning, Avi pulls back. We're both breathless. "Be good and stay out of trouble," he tells me.

"It's me you're talking to, Avi."

He smiles. "Yeah, I know. Forget what I said. Be spontaneous. It's what makes you special. I love that about you."

"I have a new motto in life. Wanna know what it is?"

"Yeah."

"Everything in the end is going to be
sababa.
You and me, my mom's new baby, my dad and Maria... even Jessica and Tarik."

"You want to know my new motto, Amy?"

"Yeah."

"Gefen, I hate to break up this
sababa
party," Nimrod says. "But time's up. Your girlfriend's got to go." He puts his hands up in mock surrender. "Sergeant's orders."