How To Save a Marriage in a Million (2 page)

Her eyes were still fixed on his when her smile faded. It was if she was challenging him to pick fault with what she’d done…as if she knew he’d experienced a peculiar grief for her loss, both past and present.

The challenge was oddly exciting.

Richard’s heart rate picked up a notch or two and he shook his head, trying to make sense of his jumbled thoughts. Probably jet-lag…hunger…first-day blues…

Part of what he experienced was raw, physical attraction and it took him totally by surprise. He hadn’t felt like this since…

He looked away, unable to sustain contact with Joanna’s unsettling gaze any longer. He attempted to finish his sandwich but it tasted like chalk and stuck in his throat as he tried to swallow.

Taking a deep breath, he decided he would go over and say hello. It wasn’t as if his return would be a surprise to her. She knew he was coming back and that he would be working with her. He’d made enquiries and found out she’d added oncology nursing to her list of qualifications and that
she worked on Matilda Ward here. So he needed to define the boundary between work and any remaining vestiges of their personal relationship.

As he stood Richard took his wallet out of his pocket and extracted a fifty-dollar note, but by the time he made his way over to the stage to make his donation, Joanna had disappeared, probably back to the ward and her patients. The combination of disappointment and relief left him heavy-hearted but he hoped he’d see her the following day when he officially started on the wards.

His thoughts were interrupted by his pager. He had an appointment with the hospital’s medical director in ten minutes and he’d requested a reminder. He put the fifty dollars in the donation box.

It was time to file away his thoughts of the woman he’d once loved so fiercely and possessively and get back to work.

* * *

The previous week the nursing staff of Matilda Ward had had a detailed briefing about Richard Howell, the new head of the paediatric oncology unit at Lady Lawler, so Joanna had had plenty of time to prepare psychologically for his arrival.
Lynne, the charge sister, had explained that, prior to a professional appointment in the U.K., he’d worked as a consultant at the Stirling Children’s Hospital from the time he’d begun his specialist training about twelve years ago. Lynne understood that he was an excellent doctor and a pleasure to work with, she’d told them.

Once the practical details of his return had been discussed, the curious female staff had embarked on the predictable gossip session.

‘How old is he?’ one of the young nurses had asked. Their previous boss was retiring and was well into his sixties.

‘Ooh, close to forty, I’d estimate,’ Lynne had replied.

‘Good-looking, I hope,’ Karen, the play therapist who had just broken up with her boyfriend, had piped up.

Lynne had then scanned the group of inquisitive faces. ‘I can’t answer that one. I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting him.’

‘He’d have to be an improvement on old Dr Price. Is he married?’ Karen had persisted.

Joanna had remained conspicuously silent during the discussion, but had felt the sudden
heat of an unexpected blush at the mention of Richard’s marital status. Fortunately the other women’s attention had been focused firmly on Lynne, who had begun to put away the patient notes from handover. She hadn’t quite finished her exposé on Dr Richard Howell, though, and the woman had glanced at Karen, who had never been shy of saying what she was thinking.

‘Don’t get any ideas, Karen. As far as I know, he’s unattached. Separated or divorced, I heard.’ She’d hesitated. ‘Or at least he was when he left to go overseas.’ She’d looked at the play therapist sternly. ‘But I don’t want your mind straying from the job. Which reminds me, that’s what we all should be doing—working, not gossiping.’

Joanna had made a hurried exit and immersed herself in her work, trying not to think of the ramifications of Richard reappearing in her life. During the week before his arrival she’d tried to convince herself she would remain objective. Determined her relationship with Richard would be no different from her relationship with Dr Price, she’d devised an affirmation she’d repeated many times.

I am a good nurse, I love the children I care for and that’s all that matters.

But when Joanna had scanned the room after having her head shaved and seen the tall, fair-haired man staring at her as if she had just committed a crime, her heart had done a back flip and
all that mattered
had been the connection she’d felt with a man she’d tried so hard to forget. She hadn’t thought she’d see Richard until the following day when he officially commenced his clinical duties. She also thought she’d mentally prepared herself for all possible scenarios. Oh, how wrong she’d been.

Thank God she’d reverted back to her maiden name before she’d applied for the job at Lady Lawler. Even though Howell was a common name, she suspected there’d be the inevitable, light-hearted enquiries about whether she and Richard were related. She’d not told any of her colleagues the truth about her marriage and she had no plans to do so.

Seeing him again, after three and a half long years, had sent a surge of adrenaline coursing through her veins that felt like a slow-burning fuse. Her days of emotional fireworks were over,
though. She’d worked hard to regain a meaningful life. She’d also realised there was no place in her future for a husband. She wouldn’t run the risk of being abandoned again when the going got tough. Richard was her husband in name only. She’d put off discussing a divorce in the wild hope they might rediscover the love they had once shared in the early years of their marriage when Sam had been healthy and happy—the light of their lives. But Richard had not been able to cope with her grieving. He’d gone away and it was too late now.

I am a good nurse, I love the children I care for and that’s all that matters.

The closer she came to a face-to-face meeting with Richard, the more difficult it became to convince herself, especially now his first day on the ward had finally arrived.

She opened her locker in the nurses’ change rooms and replaced her casual clothes with the cheerful oncology staff uniform of coffee-coloured trousers and a crazy rainbow-patterned top. The outfit had been cleverly designed to have pockets in all the right places but bore no resemblance to the traditional dress of a nurse.

Thinking about the day ahead, she smiled as
she stowed her gear in her locker. She wondered how Tye Coombs had coped with his final chemo the previous evening and whether Dylan’s grandparents had arrived from the country in time to wish him a happy birthday. As she walked into Matilda Ward she was greeted by the usual bustle of the night sister gathering the day staff for the morning handover, but even their cheerful chat didn’t distract her from thoughts of how she would cope with meeting Richard again. She tried her best not to appear preoccupied.

‘My God, you’re brave, Joanna,’ Karen said as she breezed into the nursing station.

Joanna smiled. ‘You mean my zero-gauge haircut?’

‘Yeah, I didn’t think you’d be game to do it again this year.’ She ran her fingers through her own honey-brown locks, which still had the vestiges of purple glittered streaks. ‘But then again, you can get away with it.’ The woman studied Joanna’s face for a few moments longer. ‘I wish I had eyes like yours and that fine bone structure.’

Joanna laughed. ‘I do it for the kids, and I don’t think they notice the finer points of
bone structure
.
I suspect you’re just saying it to make me feel better.’

‘No, I really mean it.’

The conversation was cut short by Lynne, the charge nurse for the day, summoning them all together.

‘We’ve had a fairly quiet night and we actually have two empty beds, but I understand there’s a thirteen-year-old boy coming in today for bone biopsy tomorrow,’ Barbara, the night sister, began. ‘And there was one new admission at about midnight. Cassie Blake’s come in with a temp of 39.5 and a productive cough. Most of you know her, I think. Twelve-year-old with ALL.’

Lynne interrupted, ‘Do you know what that stands for, Tracey?’ She directed her question to the student nurse who had started on the ward the day before. The girl blushed.

‘Acute…er…lymphoblastic leukaemia,’ the girl amended.

‘Well done. Sorry, Barb, go on.’

‘No problem.’ Barbara smiled and refocused her attention on the pile of patient folders. ‘She’s halfway through induction chemo as an outpatient and responding well. Chest X-ray’s clear but she’s on
IV antibiotics and two-hourly obs. Temp’s come down to 37.9 already. The physio will see her this morning and she’s to have another blood count.’

Joanna became aware of the presence of a late arrival in the small nurses’ station. By the hint of aftershave she knew the person was a male and he was standing directly behind her. She began to feel embarrassed that he had a full view of her recently shorn skull and as she moved sideways he leaned towards her and whispered, ‘No need to move,’ as casually as if he’d never met her before. ‘I’m just eavesdropping.’ Then he addressed the whole group.

‘Don’t let me interrupt, ladies…’ he glanced apologetically at Grant, the only male nurse on for the shift ‘…and gentleman. Just thought I’d get a head start on the ward round by listening in. Hope you don’t mind.’

‘Of course not, Dr Howell.’ Barbara beamed. ‘I was just about to say that you would be seeing Cassie this morning to assess her.’ She addressed the group again. ‘You’ve all heard Dr Howell is starting his clinical duties today as medical oncologist, taking over from Dr Price.’

All eyes turned towards the man standing
behind her. Joanna sensed the rush of warmth and felt certain her whole scalp was glowing. This kind of reaction was so out of character. She was embarrassing herself and behaving like a teenager.

‘Thanks, Barbara, but please go on. Pretend I’m not here.’

Easier said than done, Joanna thought as she forced herself to concentrate on the remainder of the handover. It was no easy task with the man she had shared the most traumatic time of her life with standing so close she could feel his thigh touching her hip and the warmth of his breath on her neck. She didn’t want to draw attention to herself by moving again, though.

Barbara was finishing. Joanna cleared her throat but her voice still sounded husky.

‘What’s happened to Tye?’

Barbara laughed and Joanna thought she detected a hint of a wink. ‘Even the prospect of his favourite nurse on duty today couldn’t keep him here. He left last night, straight after his treatment finished.’ She looked around the room. ‘Anything else, any questions?’

There was an impatient silence. They were all ready to embark on another busy day’s work.

‘Great, I’m out of here, then. Have a good day.’

* * *

Richard’s aim had been to get the feel of the staff attitude, the atmosphere of the ward and a rundown on the patients from the nursing point of view before his morning ward round. He’d had no idea whether Joanna would be working a morning shift so, when he saw her in all her close-clipped glory, he mentally rearranged his schedule.

She’d blushed at the mere sound of his voice; her breathing had quickened and he’d detected the slightest trembling of her hands when he’d accidentally touched her. He’d have to make an opportunity to speak to her alone, not only to reassure her that the last thing he wanted to do was to upset her but also to offer her an olive branch and let her know he wasn’t about to intrude on the life she now had…unless she wanted him to.

He leafed through the case notes while Lynne allocated patients and duties to her staff for the day.

‘Joanna will be coming with us, if that’s okay with you, Dr Howell?’ Lynne interrupted his train
of thought. He didn’t look up, but gathered the files and put them on the trolley.

‘Fine by me.’

‘She’s the only nurse who gets to know
all
the kids on the ward and their families.’ She chuckled. ‘And a few of their secrets they won’t share with anyone else.’

Now, why didn’t that surprise him?

Joanna was again looking embarrassed, as if she wasn’t comfortable with compliments—an unusual personality trait in an experienced, capable and obviously respected nurse. Richard dismissed the thought that his presence was the reason and focused his attention on what the charge sister was saying.

‘We’ll see Cassie, our most recent admission, shall we?’ Lynne said as she guided them into the small room next to the two single rooms set aside for the special care of patients with severely compromised immune systems or serious infections that might be a threat to the fragile health of other sick patients on the ward. They all dutifully rubbed sanitising gel onto their hands.

‘Cassie’s been isolated as a precaution until we get confirmation of the nature of her infection.
With your okay, Dr Howell, we’ll move her into the general ward as soon as we can.’

Joanna entered the room first and Richard noticed the girl’s face light up at the sight of her. Cassie’s mother, though she looked as if she’d had little sleep the previous night, also managed a smile.

Joanna held up her hand in a high-five gesture.

‘Love the new look, Jo,’ the twelve-year-old said with a cheeky grin as their hands touched. Both mother and child were behaving as if Richard and Lynne weren’t in the room. Their attention was entirely on Joanna…and they weren’t the only ones. She had transformed on entering Cassie’s room: she was now confident, charismatic even and seemed to have an aura of optimism hovering around her.

‘Can’t have you getting all the attention on the ward. I did it purely out of jealousy,’ Joanna said.

Cassie smiled and then finally acknowledged that Joanna wasn’t the only one who had entered the room.

‘Who’s that?’ she said with the typical forthrightness of the young. ‘Is he the new doctor?’

‘Where are your manners, Cass?’ her mother
said as she stood to introduce herself. ‘I’m Kerry.’ She extended her hand.

‘Dr Richard Howell. I’ve taken over from Dr Price and will be looking after Cassie for the rest of her treatment.’ He turned to the girl and smiled. ‘Hi, Cassie. I gather you’re doing well with the chemo but you’ve had a setback. What’s happened to bring you back to hospital?’