How to Survive Summer Camp (8 page)

She spoke! She actually spoke, in a dear little squeaky-mouse voice. I nodded triumphantly at Marzipan and Alan.
I’d
got her to speak.

‘What is his name then?’ I asked.

‘My donkey’s a she, not a he. She’s called Dora Donkey.’

‘Dora!’ I struggled not to laugh. ‘Hello, Dora Donkey.’ I shook the donkey’s sodden hoof. ‘How are you today then, Dora? Would you like a cup of carrot juice, eh?’

I pretended to give her one. The child giggled, especially when I made Dora drink with great slurps.

‘And what’s your name?’ I asked.

She shook her head.

‘I’ll guess. It ought to be something to go with Dora. Let’s see. Cora? Flora? Leonora?’

The child spluttered with laughter.

‘It’s Rosemary,’ she announced.

‘That’s a pretty name,’ I said. ‘There’s a girl at my school called Mary Rose, that’s Rosemary backwards, and everyone used to chant this daft rhyme “Mary Rose sat on a pin, Mary Rose” until Mary Rose got really mad so I suggested she should get her own back and bring some pins to school and—’

‘Trust you!’ said Marzipan. ‘Come on then, Stella.’

‘Come on where?’

‘Don’t be daft! We’ve got to catch the others up. And we aren’t half going to get into awful trouble too,’ said Marzipan, sighing.

I didn’t want to think about it and spoil everything. I liked
it here, just Marzipan, Rosemary, Alan, and me. I didn’t see why we couldn’t stay here for a bit longer.

‘Don’t be an old spoilsport, Marzipan. Let’s stop here.’ I stretched out on the grass. ‘Here, Rosemary, pass Dora to me. We’ll spread her out in the sun and get her tummy dry, eh? And while she’s sunbathing we could make her a daisychain. She’d like that, wouldn’t she?’

Rosemary nodded. I loved the way she looked at me now, as if I were a queen and she my little serving maid.

‘When I’ve made Dora a daisychain I’ll make one for you, Stella, a really long special one, because you made Dora better again,’ said Rosemary.

‘Cheek!
I
was the one who got your donkey out of the smelly old cowpat,’ said Alan, but he didn’t really mind.

He rolled up his jeans and went in paddling, wincing a bit at the icy water.

‘Oh dear, does Little Precious want a special daisy necklace too then?’ I teased.

Alan splashed water at me but I ducked behind Marzipan.

‘Do stop mucking about, you two,’ she said crossly, dabbing at herself. ‘Please let’s go and find the others.’

‘I’m staying here,’ I said. ‘I don’t want to go on a boring hike with Uncle Pong.’

Alan fell about laughing. ‘Uncle Pong. How perfect.’ He staggered about and nearly tripped on a rock. He bent and tugged at it. ‘It’s ever so narrow here. I bet we could make a dam. Come and help, Stella.’

‘No fear. I’m not going in that freezing old stream. Get Marzipan to help. Go on, Marz, show us your muscles,’ I said, starting to thread daisies.

Marzipan chewed at her lip worriedly, realizing we really were staying.

‘Do you want one of my fruit gums?’ I said quickly, searching my pockets. ‘They’re not really that fluffy, and we can always wash them. You can have the strawberry one if you like, Marzipan.’

Marzipan sucked the strawberry and made a daisychain but she didn’t look happy.

‘I’ll be the one they’ll blame, because I’m the oldest,’ she said. ‘What do you think they’ll do to us?’

‘Nothing. They’ll just make us lose a silly old team point. Who cares?’ I said.

‘They might …’ Marzipan tugged at the grass miserably, trying to decide what they really might do to us. But she wasn’t very good at making up Dire Consequences. It was a game I loved.

‘They might put us in that big tower,’ I said. ‘Yes, they could lock us up in it.’ I remembered the Princess Stellarina story I’d started in my new notebook and I started telling it. I was just doing it to tease poor old Marzipan at first but then I got carried away. I went on with the story and they all listened, even Alan. I’d have been mad to have stopped with an audience like that, so I went on and on until my voice started to go croaky.

I was right in the middle of the story. Princess Stellarina was being smothered with one of Uncle Pong’s disgusting tracksuits. She was fainting with the fumes but Prince Alaghad couldn’t rescue her because he was tied up in the dungeon with several ropes of Hag Hateful-Catty’s pearls and the melancholy maiden Marzine had wandered into the marshes by moonlight and had been captured by the evil Lavatrise and Kopy Karen and Little Red Rosy Posy had gone galloping after her on her noble steed Interflora but she had fallen in a filthy mire and they were both being sucked to a dreadful death.

I wasn’t sure how to sort them all out. I paused and then flopped on to my back.

‘End of part one. Will Princess Stellarina be able to endure her ordeal? Will Prince Alaghad burst his pearl chains? Will melancholy Marzine escape the demon duo Lavatrise and Kopy Karen? Will little Red Rosy Posy be dragged from the quickdung in time? Listen out for the next instalment of the Ever Exciting Adventures at Everblack.’ I did a dramatic Tra-la-la-laa. There was a long silence.

‘Were you making it all up?’ said Marzipan.

‘Of course!’

‘I mean, you didn’t get it out of a book?’

‘How could I?’ I said.

I tried to sound casual but I wanted to jump around and show off I was so pleased they were impressed by my story.

‘Stellarina and Alaghad! You’re even more of a nutcase than I thought,’ said Alan.

I wasn’t sure, but I think he was impressed too.

‘Tell some more,’ Rosemary begged.

But I couldn’t think of any more for the moment so we made some more daisychains instead and Alan built a dam. The daisychains kept breaking and the dam leaked but it didn’t really matter.

No one had a watch so we weren’t really sure about the time. We’d long since finished up the fruit gums and were starting to get ravenous. Marzipan didn’t think it could be more than four o’clock but the rest of us began to wonder if we’d missed tea. Perhaps I hadn’t been quite so clever after all.

Then I heard the faint but familiar strains of ten green bottles oh-so-gently falling.

‘They’re coming back! Quick, let’s hide,’ I hissed, and we all crawled into the middle of a big bush. The singing got louder and then we could actually see feet tramping along beside the stream. I spotted huge great trainers and grey tracksuit legs and nudged Alan. He nudged me back and we got the giggles and nearly choked.

‘Shut up, shut up,’ Marzipan mouthed desperately.

‘It’s all right. They’re making too much racket,’ I whispered.

The feet were petering out now. I peered through the leaves and saw the rest of the Emeralds looking very hot and cross and bored.

‘I bet nobody even noticed we were missing,’ I said.

I thought a bit.

‘So let’s tag on the end with the others now,’ I suggested. ‘And then no one will be any the wiser.’

The Emeralds were, of course. Janie fell on Rosemary and Dora and hugged them with all her heart. Louise and Karen weren’t in a hugging mood.

‘Where have you been?’ Louise demanded furiously. ‘Uncle Ron counted us all when we got to Hampton Hill and Karen and the boys and I had to keep bobbing about to get counted twice or the Emeralds would have lost another flipping team point. What have you been
doing
?’

We smiled at her and wouldn’t tell.

R
osemary couldn’t stop talking now that she’d found her voice. She talked all evening and she was still squeaking away long after Miss Hamer-Cotton had switched out the light in our dormi.

‘I’m ever so tired, Rosemary. Couldn’t we go to sleep now?’ Janie begged.

‘I’m not a bit tired,’ said Rosemary.

‘Well I am,’ Louise groaned. ‘Put your wretched donkey over your head and pipe down.’

Rosemary did as she was told.

‘Dora smells funny,’ she said, sounding smothered.

Karen snorted. ‘Of course she does, stupid. She’s been in a cowpat, yuck yuck yuck. You shouldn’t put it round your face, you’ll catch some awful disease.’

‘No I won’t. Will I, Stella?’

For some reason Rosemary kept asking me things now. It was beginning to annoy the others.

‘Stella washed all the cow stuff away so Dora doesn’t smell nasty any more,’ Rosemary continued. ‘She just smells funny.
Wet. Like my swimming costume when it’s been rolled up in my towel a long time.’

‘Is she still wet then?’ said Marzipan. ‘You’d better not have her in bed with you.’

‘But I can’t sleep without her.’

‘You don’t seem to be able to sleep with her either,’ said Louise.

‘I can’t help it. I said, I’m just not tired,’ said Rosemary, tossing to and fro. ‘And I can’t get comfy. My sheets are all wrinkled up and my pillow won’t go right and Dora can’t get comfy either.’

‘Shall I tuck you up?’ said Karen, getting out of bed. ‘Oh for goodness’ sake, your donkey’s still sopping. No wonder you can’t get comfy. Look, put it over here and—’

‘No! I want Dora!’

‘You can’t, you’ll get pneumonia. And I bet it’s still crawling with germs. You’ll end up with foot and mouth disease if you don’t watch out.’

‘Give me Dora!’ Rosemary roared.

‘Give her it back, Karen, or she’ll wake the whole house,’ said Louise impatiently.

Karen flung Dora back to Rosemary.

‘Stella, can you get me comfy?’ Rosemary called.

Karen said something very rude indeed. I got out of bed and went over to Rosemary.

‘OK then, let’s get you sorted out. Let me have a little chat with my friend Dora. Oh, I see. She says she wants her own bed
tonight so she can stretch her hooves and swish her tail about. Here we are, this can be her pillow and this can be her coverlet.’

‘Do you mind? That’s my cardigan. Get it off that smelly germy old donkey,’ Karen shouted.

‘Will you shut up, Karen?’ Louise demanded. ‘You’ve got a voice like a foghorn. Just get into bed and stop interfering.’

Karen snatched her cardigan and slunk back to bed. I didn’t even glance at her but I knew she was looking daggers at me. I rearranged Dora’s bed and tucked her up and then I tucked Rosemary up too.

‘Now go to sleep like good girls,’ I said, patting Dora’s matted mane and Rosemary’s curls.

‘We want a story,’ said Rosemary. ‘Please, Stella. Tell us a story. Tell about Princess Stellarina.’

‘Princess Stellarina!’ Karen snorted. ‘How incredibly yucky can you get? Princess Stellarina, did you ever!’

‘Princess Stellarina is private,’ I said quickly to Rosemary. ‘But I’ll read you a fairy story out of my book if you like. It’s a hundred years old, my book, and it’s got lovely coloured pictures. It’s ever so valuable.’

Rosemary sat up in bed and switched on her torch so that I’d be able to see to read. I went to my locker to get the fairy tale book, wondering which story to choose. Not a very long one, I was too tired. Rosemary would like a story with a donkey in it but the one in my book was a bit silly, all about a hen and a dog who kept climbing on the donkey’s back. I decided to read one of my own favourites, Snow White or Cinderella.

I found my book and as I picked it up the blue leather spine came away in my hand. The front of the book flapped loose and the back was all tearing away too. My book was falling to pieces. My precious valuable book.

‘Stella,’ Rosemary called. ‘Stella, what are you doing? Can’t you find your book?’

I couldn’t even speak. Let it be a mistake, I muttered to myself. Let it be all right after all. Let it be some sort of trick.

I went and switched on the light so that I could see properly. It was even worse than I’d thought. My book was ruined.

‘Have you gone mad, Stella?’ said Louise, blinking in the sudden brightness. ‘Switch that light off at once or Miss Hamer-Cotton will be along.’

‘Look at my book,’ I croaked, holding out the blue leather tatters.

There was a small silence.

‘What’s happened to it, Stella?’ Rosemary whispered.

‘I’ll tell you what’s happened,’ I said. ‘I’ll
tell
you. Someone’s torn it. Someone’s taken hold of it and ripped and ripped until they pulled it all to bits.’

‘But who—?’

‘I’ll tell you who,’ I shrieked and I ran over to Karen. ‘You did it, didn’t you? You ripped up my book.’

‘I didn’t! Don’t be mad. I never touched your stupid book,’ Karen gabbled. ‘Louise, we never touched her book, did we?’

But Louise was staring at Karen, looking shocked.
She
knew Karen had done it too.