How to Wed an Earl (30 page)

Cowardly as it might have been to run away, it had been her only alternative.

“Forgive me, Nelson,” she whispered, her heart wrenching at the sight of her loyal companion struggling to keep his balance in the rickety coach.

“How much longer are we to endure this equipage, my lady?” Finchley asked as another rut in the road sent all three of them jumping and wincing at the same time.

She hesitated, debating whether or not to tell the butler where they were going before they’d actually arrived at their destination. “Not much longer.”

“You are not even going to tell me where we are headed?”

Penelope sighed. She might as well tell him, or he’d plague her for the rest of the journey. “We’re going home,” she announced.

Then she handed Finchley a plate of cold meats, forcing both of them to try to juggle their food and eat in silence.

• • •

Penelope’s hometown hadn’t changed at all since Lucas had first stepped foot in it.

The familiar sight of rolling, sun-kissed fields greeted him as he made his way up the valley to Highfield Manor. Two months ago, he’d journeyed here to fetch a long-forgotten fiancée. Now he was here to claim an errant wife.

A vision of Penelope opening the front door of the manor and flying into his arms lifted his weary spirit before he reminded himself that he was angry with her for her impulsive behavior. Because of her exaggerated fit of the sulks, he had been obliged to travel nearly the entire length of the country. He was dirty, tired and most annoyed. He had a good mind to make her beg him to take her back after this outrageous stunt.

Except it wasn’t Penelope who opened the door as he approached the manor, but Gertie. His heart sank.

Gertie eagerly greeted him as he dismounted, and the entire Walker family stepped out of the manor.

“You’re back!” Dr. Walker declared the obvious as he shook Lucas’s hand before peering over his shoulder expectantly. “Where’s Polly? Is she resting back at the inn? You shouldn’t have gone to The Mucky Duck, you know. You’re always welcome here.”

Eleanor Walker motioned for everyone to go inside. “Please come in, we’ll make sure your horse is cared for.”

He struggled to contain his emotions as he followed the family to the library and tried to come up with a story of why she wasn’t with him. “Penelope couldn’t make the journey up, but she sent me here to claim any items she wasn’t able to bring with her after the wedding.”

Disappointment settled in his chest. He’d been so sure Penelope would be here. Before journeying north, he’d checked with Miss Smythe, who appeared to be embarrassed about their last encounter but unaware of Penelope’s disappearance. He also paid Penelope’s cousin a visit, but David Maitland seemed equally unaware that Penelope was missing. He had even attended another meeting with Colonel Martin and his friends, but none of them seemed to find Penelope’s absence out of the ordinary.

Now that he knew Penelope wasn’t with her family either, his annoyance with her drained out, replaced by something even worse: fear.

Penelope wasn’t merely indulging in a fit of the sulks. She’d actually severed all connections with him and could be anywhere in the country. Anywhere in the world. With no one to protect her. Where thieves, highwaymen and all sorts of villains could get to her.

“I’m quite certain Polly has taken all of her things. How long will you be staying?” Dr. Walker’s voice seemed to come from somewhere very far away, and he had to shake his head to clear it in order to hear the rest of the man’s words. “Polly isn’t pregnant, is she? Is that why she couldn’t make the journey up?”

Good God, what if she’s pregnant?
Bile rose up in his throat at the thought of Penelope somewhere out there, cold and alone, pregnant with his child.

“No,” he whispered, his throat raw. “At least, I don’t think she is. She hasn’t told me anything. I’m not sure — ”

“All right,” Dr. Walker interrupted. “So how long are you going to be staying?”

Lucas stared at the man who had raised Penelope, unable to admit he had misplaced Dr. Walker’s stepdaughter.

“I’m only staying long enough for my horse to rest. There are things I must see to in London,” he replied.

Dr. Walker inclined his head. “Ah, then at least have some tea with us and give us news of how London is treating our daughter. She said in her last letter that she’s met Colonel Martin.”

Needing to keep Penelope close to him in any way he could, he talked about Colonel Martin and the Season, going into details about things she’d said and the people she’d helped. He even told them about Nelson’s state of health. He talked until his throat was dry, trying to delay the moment when he would have to leave the people closest to his wife’s heart.

When he was certain his horse was fully rested, Lucas made his excuses to the Walkers and started on the weeklong journey back to London, where he immediately began making inquiries of the servants.

He drilled everyone from the gardeners to the housekeeper about the events of that day, but the only thing they could say was that Penelope must have used the servants’ staircase to get out of the house, and so no one had noticed she was gone until too late. None of them knew where she might have gone.

He spent several days making discreet inquiries at the local coaching inns, but none of them had any recollection of seeing a woman matching Penelope’s description. He’d been able to trace the livery stable where she’d rented a coach, but from there the trail had gone cold.

Three weeks after Penelope had left, exhausted and in need of sleep, Lucas went back to his townhouse and paced a track in the carpet in his study while a pain beyond anything he’d ever known gnawed at him. There wasn’t much hope Penelope would ever come back to him. He was staring into the fire, contemplating what he was to do next when a commotion out in the hall drew his attention.

“I told you, his lordship isn’t at home to visitors at present!” he heard Sammy yell.

“And I told you,” a voice that could only belong to Lord Maitland replied, “I shall wait as long as it takes for him to see me. This nonsense has gone on long enough!”

He stalked to the door and yanked it open to find Lord Maitland and Ethan Banks swatting at Sammy while the footman tried to push them out of the house.

“It’s all right, Sammy, let them in,” he intoned.

The last thing he wanted was to deal with the baron, but the man might have some information as to where Penelope was.

“So,” Lord Maitland began as he stalked past Lucas inside the study, “where have you hidden her? My man Banks over here,” he gestured, “has not seen my niece for some time. I have had enough of your antics, Ravenstone. Where is my niece?”

The baron didn’t know where Penelope was. Anger simmered as he gazed at the man who had caused both him and Penelope so much pain.

“Why should I tell you?” he demanded. “And why have you been spying on my wife? What do you want from her?”

Lord Maitland looked genuinely surprised. “I would’ve thought that of all people, you would understand. We are the same, after all.”

“I am nothing like you!” Lucas hissed.

The baron smiled coldly. “Ah, there’s no reason to deny it, dear boy, for I know the truth behind your reason for marrying my niece. You are like me, prepared to do anything for what is right, for our duty to our legacy. Your father never understood that, and neither did my brother. But you and I, we are the same.”

He felt the blood leave his face as he stared at the baron, a man who had cast his own flesh and blood away to preserve the dignity of a title.
Dear God, am I just as bad?

Penelope had waited for him all these years when he had all but forgotten her. Still, she’d restored his reputation, given him her trust, loyalty and love. In return, he’d used her to keep his fortune and deceived her about it. He’d never considered how his actions might have affected her life, he’d thought only of his duty to his earldom. All she’d ever wanted was for him to love her and he’d told her he was incapable of doing even that.

And in that moment, he knew.

He loved Penelope, had probably loved her all along. It certainly explained all his actions since he’d met her and accounted for the pain that slashed through him at the thought of never seeing her again. Self-loathing coursed in his veins. In his stubbornness and arrogant sense of entitlement, Lucas had driven away the most precious thing in his life.

Regret threatened to choke him as he returned Lord Maitland’s gaze.

“I am nothing like you,” he repeated. “I’m not going to let you use Penelope any longer. If you want to talk to her, you had better do it through your son.”

“That’s precisely why I want to talk to her. I want my son back!” the baron exclaimed. “All I ever did was try to ensure the Maitland name was not tarnished any more, and for that my son has rejected me. David is the next Baron Maitland, yet he won’t answer my letters or agree to see me. He hasn’t had anything to do with me since he found out what I did to Penelope and her stupid mother.”

“It’s nothing more than what you deserve. You aren’t worthy to kiss the ground upon which Penelope walks. Get out,” Lucas said, “I never want to see your face again.”

The baron looked fit to be tied. “This is unacceptable!”

He hadn’t been able to protect Penelope when this man hurt her as a child, but he was here now. He advanced on the baron.

“It is justice for what you’ve done to your brother’s child. You will keep in mind that Penelope is now the Countess of Ravenstone. She is no longer your niece.”

Without further preamble, he hauled the baron up to his feet and unceremoniously dragged him out of the study, through the hall and out onto the street. He turned to see Banks scurry past him to follow the baron out. Lucas strode back into the hall, filled with a sense of purpose. He’d taken the first step needed to put things to rights between him and his wife.

“Lucas? Is everything all right? I heard a commotion.” Olivia’s voice drifted from the stairs.

He smiled at his sister. It was time for step number two. “Send a message to Blakewood. He’s going to escort you to the ball tonight, where you will announce your engagement.”

• • •

A week later, Lucas stood on the sidelines playing chaperone to Blakewood and Olivia in yet another ball celebrating their engagement. The woman standing beside him tittered, and the sound grated on his nerves. Was this how it was to be for the rest of his life?

Penelope never tittered. She laughed the way she did everything else — with her whole heart. And at one time, her heart had belonged to him. He felt the familiar dull ache in his soul. In the weeks since his wife’s disappearance, the words she’d said to him during the darkest night of his life had branded themselves into his memory:

Love makes a person endure. It’s the absence of it that destroys.

He was now doomed to live her words, enduring endless days and nights of the relentless, unforgiving hell that would surely constitute the rest of his life, preserved only by the hope his wife would someday return to him so he could show her how wrong he’d been. About everything.

He took in the happiness in his sister’s face as she danced with Blakewood. Olivia wore an expression of joy not unlike the one he wished to see on another face. He tossed back a healthy amount of champagne to wash away the bitterness.

If Penelope’s intention had been to teach him a lesson, she’d pounded that lesson into him a hundred times over during her month-long absence from his life.

Among other things, he wanted to know if Penelope was safe. He had always been so sure of her, and now he was sure of nothing. He didn’t know if she was well, or if she hated him. Well, she could not hate him any more than he hated himself. Where was she? If he could only find her, he would spend the rest of his life making it up to her. He didn’t want to give up on their marriage without a fight.

“Thank you again for accepting my suit,” Blakewood commented as he walked up to Lucas. “I promise I will be a good husband to Olivia.”

“I know,” he replied quietly.

“I find it odd your wife is not here. Surely you have told her about my engagement to your sister? I would have thought she would want to help Olivia with planning the wedding.”

His gaze swerved to Blakewood. Why wouldn’t this man leave him alone? “I’d hoped she would, too.”

“I appreciate that she is busy at your country estate, but this is big news for the family, isn’t it?”

Lucas’s heart stilled. “She’s busy at my country estate?”

“Isn’t she?” Blakewood asked. “Colonel Martin said the carriage horses he rescued arrived at Ravenstone the other day, and your wife told him they are doing very well, all things considered.”

“Yes,” Lucas said, hardly hearing his own voice. “I’d forgotten about that. I intend to go home to give her the news about Olivia’s impending nuptials myself.”
Among other things
, he added silently as his heart pounded wildly in his chest.

Penelope was in Ravenstone! Thank God. Lucas gave Blakewood a distracted nod and walked out of the ballroom without another word. There was only one thing on his mind as he gave instructions to his coachman.

Lucas was going home.

• • •

“You look lovely, my lady, if I may say so.”

Penelope finished rearranging her skirts and gave Finchley a distracted smile. She was going to an important meeting, and she was determined to make certain things went the way she wanted them to. She might have failed in her marriage, but she refused to fail in this.

“I don’t understand why the man who is offering a home to the horses Colonel Martin sent wants to meet at the inn. Ravenstone is only a ten-minute drive, and he’d be able to see the horses then.”

Finchley looked away and cleared his throat. “Perhaps he is exhausted after a long journey and would like to be able to retire immediately after the meeting.”

“I would’ve been happy to offer him accommodation at Ravenstone.”

“I believe he is hoping to receive your invitation,” he sputtered.

She rolled her eyes. “Then why didn’t he visit Ravenstone in the first place?”