How to Win a Guy in 10 Dates (16 page)

Would she hell.

Horns were blaring from the road now, irate drivers blasting at his driverless car. Giving up was not his style, but chasing Millie here was pointless.

Cursing, he threw himself back towards his car.

***

‘Hi there stranger, what happened to Derbyshire then?’

Will looked up nonchalantly from his seat under Cassie’s apple tree, his greeting grin fading as he took in Ed’s scowl.

‘Derbyshire just got blown skywards, all my fault.’ Ed threw himself into the chair, and kicked out his feet. ‘Where’s Cassie anyway?’ At least she wasn’t here to gloat.

‘She disappeared when she heard you come back. You can hear the Aston engine approaching from miles away. Muttered something about keeping out of boys business.’ Will rolled his eyes. ‘I guess she’s talking about this challenge you just nailed. How did it go then?’

Ed shrugged. ‘How about the hardest thing I’ve done, in my whole life – I reckon that covers it.’

‘That’s it? Cassie said Millie went down a storm with everyone.’

‘Pretty much.’ Except for him, that was. ‘She turned my life upside down and shook it – hard. I guess anyone who saw it found that amusing.’

He twisted his mouth into a rueful, self-deprecating smile. No way was he going to tell Will he felt like he’d cut off his arm now that Millie wasn’t here, even though it was barely fifteen minutes since she left.

‘Cassie says you brought the Aston along, just to show me what I wasn’t going to get.’

‘Exactly. Eat your heart out Will, I failed to fall in love, so the Aston’s still mine.’

‘Nice twist that, not that I ever expected to get my hands on it. I mean, who’d fall in love, after ten dates with a random woman?’

Something in Will’s throwaway tone made his chest tighten.

‘Millie’s not a random woman. She’s individual, strong, compassionate, compelling, interesting, sparky. She might be a right royal pain in the butt, but she’s got more integrity in her little finger than the rest of us put together.’

‘Whoa, no need to take it personally.’ Will swallowed and raised his eyebrows, shuffling uneasily. ‘Whatever she is, whoever she is, she’s won you my flat in Klosters fair and square, and who’d have thought that would be possible? Ed Mitchum, having ten dates with the same woman. That must qualify as some kind of miracle in itself. I’ll have the flat transferred to you as soon as … ’

Ed shook his head. ‘You can keep your flat. I’ve got to the end of it, but I’m certainly not accepting the spoils.’

A whole afternoon of images were flashing through Ed’s head now, all of them featuring Millie. The easy way she’d thrown her head back, laughing when she met Cassie, almost as if she was coming home. That secret smile of reassurance, sent just for him when he was crashing, as he took in the news about his mother. The way her eyes went blurry every time he made her come. Not strictly from this afternoon, but he kept seeing it anyway. But there was one image his brain had on lock-on repeat – Millie, her arms wrapped protectively around the baby on her knee, and that one made his throat constrict, and his guts do a double somersault.

Then there was that final, killing, expression of hurt confusion which spread across her face when he dropped the bombshell about the challenge. And every time the loop stopped on that one, his mouth filled with sour saliva, and he thought he was going to throw up.

‘Okay, take a chill pill. It’s over now, it’s not important, let’s forget it, and move on.’ Will got to his feet. ‘Fancy a beer?’

‘Nope, I’ll head off. I’m off to South America tomorrow, to sort out some deals.’

All planned, and put in place, to make sure he didn’t waver after the whole extended weekend of fun. To make sure the fun didn’t drag on any more, because, when it came to it, he almost hadn’t wanted it to end at all.

‘I didn’t know you were going away so soon.’

‘I need to get back to work. I’ve had two weeks away from the business, and when did I last do that?’

‘When did you ever do that?’ Will stared at him hard, through narrowing eyes.

Ed had been thinking of the South American trip as cooling off time, a chance to reassess – how he felt, what he wanted, where he was going. Except now none of that mattered now, because he’d totally blown it with Millie. No one who looked at you with that much disdain as they ran away from you was going to reconsider anything. The vision of the hurt in her eyes flashed through his head again, this time with the addition of a knife that twisted, and sent a stabbing pain deep into his chest.

‘South America – there’s a whole un-tapped market for our latest blasting software I need to check it out.’ Throwing a line to Will here, buying himself a minute to think.

‘I’m sure.’

Will, laconic as usual, tapping his fingers on the chair arm.

A trip to South America? Cooling off time? A chance to reassess? Ed gave himself a mental kick. How stupid was he? Twenty minutes without Millie, and he already knew.

He was in love with her, damn it.

When the hell had that happened? And how? No idea, apart from the fact that it finally clicked when he saw her with the baby. That pretty much blew his mind. The whole rush through his body, at the realisation he wanted her to have his children. All afternoon, he’d tried to blank it out, suppress the thought …  But it was true. At least it gave a rational explanation for why the heat between them was burning like an inferno, when it should have been dying embers. How the hell could he be expected to recognise love, when he’d never known it before?

And typical Millie, as if it isn’t enough that she doesn’t want a man in her life at all, contrary as usual, she had to choose this moment to decide that he was the one man in the world she despised.

Standing up, Ed fished in his pocket for the keys to the Aston, and tossed them casually towards Will.

‘I think these are yours.’

Will snatched them out of the air, his brows knitting quizzically. ‘Meaning?’

Ed snorted. How slow could a guy be?

‘Meaning I’m giving you the damned Aston after all. It’s yours, because it’s the end of the goddam challenge, and scrub what I said before – I’ve fallen in love. I’m in love with Millie Brown, and before you ask, no, she doesn’t know, and I don’t have the first idea what I’m going to do about it either.’

‘IF you didn’t insist on rolling in the dirt Cracker, you’d get out for your ride a while lot sooner.’

Millie bent her head against the pony’s flank, rubbing at the dried mud vigorously with a brush. There was something very soothing about talking to a pony, and ever since she got back from the dreaded trip to Provence, she’d been pouring her woes out to Cracker.

‘Good thing you’re a good listener, isn’t it boy?’ She slapped his rump, and he gave her bare knee a nuzzle as she headed off to get his tack.

The thing was, all the pony nuzzles in the world weren’t going to make her feel better. Since she’d got back she couldn’t sleep, couldn’t concentrate, and was bursting into tears whenever her favourite songs came on the radio. And it wasn’t just seeing Bella again. She’d written the whole trip off as one big disaster, hurled it into her never-think-of-it-again box, and slammed the lid firmly. But it was refusing to stay there.

So much for a fun weekend. When did fun make you feel like you had a hollow the size of the Pacific Ocean in your stomach?

She stomped back out of the tack room, loosened Crackers head collar, and slipped on his bridle. It was two days since she’d arrived home. Two very long days. Long enough to seem like two weeks. Soon she was going to have to stop going over everything in her head. Obviously someone as hunky as Ed Mitchum would never have looked at her under normal circumstances, without the inducement of a bet. She didn’t know who she was the most furious with – him for the whole bet fiasco, or herself for going along with it. And the worst thing was she’d actually let herself have a good time. Enough of a good time for it to be hurting like mad now it was over.

‘Steady now.’

Gritting her teeth, she pulled a handful of mane through Cracker’s bridle. She only had herself to blame. Ed had made it perfectly clear from the outset that he was there for short term fun. What part of that had she not understood? The bet part was degrading, but the rest was her fault. There’d been the hot sex, and wow, it had been hot. She’d left here thinking she was frigid, and discovered she had the capacity of a sex bomb. So all that was good. She really didn’t have anything to complain about. The joke was, at the time she was sure she’d kept her distance emotionally, thought she’d pulled off the no-strings thing no problem. But now, however much she tried to stop it, mental pictures of Ed Mitchum plagued her, day and night. There was no room for a man in her life at the best of times, and definitely not now. Yet here she was, feeling like the world was about to end. Entirely ridiculous too, when you’d bolted away from the guy in question. Doubly ridiculous when you knew he’d gone on an extended business trip to South America, most probably to get away from you. It didn’t make any sense, which was why she kept going over and over it.

‘No need to paw the ground, Cracker, I’ll grab the saddle, and we’ll be off.’ She’d just bobbed back into the tack room, when she heard footfalls in the yard.

‘Anyone there?’

Her heart lurched in her rib cage, and thumped into her throat. Shucks. For a moment there she thought it was Ed. Something about the deep growl. Stupid. She took a breath in the gloom. Once her pulse rate slowed again, she’d go to see who it was.

‘Millie?’ A shadow filled the doorway, impossibly broad shoulders blocking the light.

What then..? Only one man she knew whose chiseled cheekbones would show up like that in the gloom.

‘Ed … ’ Gawping now, as she noticed a carrier bag rammed under his arm, but her ability to form words had gone.

‘Hey. Nice shorts.’ He eased to lean against the door frame.

Nice shorts? Was that all he could say? She dodged to see his face better against the light, then wished she hadn’t, when the view of his jaw made her knees sag.

Indignation brought her tongue back to life. ‘I thought you were supposed to be in South America.’

Damn. Over the clatter of her heart beat hammering in her ears, she knew her voice sounded shaky. She swallowed down the butterflies battering to escape from her chest. One glimpse of him should not make her this excited.

‘Ah, South America got shelved.’ He shifted a little shamefacedly, then pushed the bag towards her. ‘I brought you your parcel. It got separated from the rest of your things, and it arrived on my desk this morning.’

‘I see. Thanks.’ Dropping the saddle and the hat she was holding, she took the bag from him, biting back her disappointment as her chest deflated. Of course he hadn’t come because he wanted to see her. How could she have been so stupid as to think that?

‘And I came to say sorry too. I wasn’t sure you’d even see me, after what I did. I shouldn’t have involved you in the dating challenge, it was low, and I’m ashamed.’ One rueful smile slid onto his face.

Millie grimaced as she warmed to the smile, wishing she didn’t feel so susceptible. No way was she going to let him know how awful she felt. ‘Whatever. Thanks for the apology though.’

‘I may be digging a hole for myself here, but I’m glad the whole bet thing happened. And I’m not excusing my behavior, but I wanted to tell you, for the record, that everything I did with you for the challenge, I did because I wanted to do it. Finding you injured in the field was just the start. The way you jumped me … ’ He broke off, his face crinkling into a mischievous grin.

‘I didn’t jump you!’ She wasn’t letting him get away with that one. ‘You started it if you remember, trying to give the kiss of life to someone still alive.’

‘Have it your own way, call it what you like, but that was one hot snog you gave me. By the time we’d been to the hospital and I’d looked after you for the night, popped in on you a few times, I was a long way through the tasks Will and Cassie had set out for me. You have to remember I’ve never spent so much time with one woman. And it may have sounded bad to you, but what you need to know is, the more I was with you, the more I wanted to be with you. I asked you to come to Provence because I had to go, and I didn’t want to be there without you. When you think about it like that, I’m hoping it doesn’t sound so bad. I guess I’m hoping that you might forgive me.’ He inclined his head, resting it against the door frame, eyeing her hopefully.

She sighed, wishing the pleading in his eyes didn’t make her tummy hurt so much. ‘Maybe … ’

‘I’m actually pleased it happened. I’m even pleased you balled me out, and ran off.’

‘Sorry?’

Where exactly was he going with this? So like a man to make a bad thing positive.

‘I’m happy, because it shocked me to my senses.’ He gave a shrug. ‘There was this awful ache when you weren’t there, like I’d chopped my arm off or something. I guess that ache was what finally made me know I’m in love with you.’

‘What..?’ Millie screwed up her nose.. Had he just said..?

‘I meant to stay away longer.’ He narrowed his eyes, as if assessing her reaction. ‘To give you time to calm down, time to see how you felt. Then the parcel arrived on my desk, and I couldn’t stay away any more. The thing is, now I’m here, I don’t even need to ask, because I can read it in your eyes. You want to be with me too, don’t you? All this crazy heat between us, it’s because we’re in love.’ He shot her a grin that walloped her square in the gut.

As the ‘L’ word crashed to the ground, her already clattering heart started to race … 

‘I need to be with you Millie. I don’t care where, I don’t care how. Here, London, South America, in a castle, in a tent, I don’t give a damn, so long as we can be together.’

Open mouthed, she gulped back her panic, barely hearing what he said now, as an axe of pain cleaved through her chest. This beautiful guy, who she was aching to be with, was telling her he loved her, and wanted to be with her. And here she was, the last woman on earth who could ever have a right to be with him. She pulled in a ragged breath.

He reached out, rubbed a thumb across her cheek. ‘Millie, you’re crying.’

Tugging her towards him, his strong arms enveloped her, and as her head hit his chest she was engulfed by the familiar scent of clean clothes and hot-blooded man.

The man she couldn’t have.

Choking on her sobs she squirmed out of his grasp, and pushed her way out of the tack room, blinking as she stumbled into the sunlight.

She had to run, run as far away from Ed as she could, for both their sakes.

She hurled herself towards the pony, untied him, scrabbled onto his back and with a swift squeeze of her legs she urged him up the drive, and out onto the road.

***

‘Millie, don’t forget your hat … ’

Ed strode into the yard in time to see Millie, blond hair flying behind her in a haze, galloping off up the road on Cracker.

Not again. He shook his head, breaking into a run as he headed towards his car. Damn that he’d parked at the top of the drive – so she wouldn’t see him arriving and leg it. He gritted his teeth. Millie running for the hills was getting to be a habit – twice in three days – but this time she wasn’t angry, this was different. He’d read the hurt in her eyes. He threw himself into the driver’s seat, flung the car into a three point turn, and screamed off after Millie.

Who’d have thought love would be so difficult? He barely knew if he was blazing with Millie for being so reckless, or scared witless in case something happened to her. Great. He blew in relief, as he caught a glimpse of her in the distance behind a dry stone wall, turning off the road and into the lane leading to the quarry. At least there shouldn’t be any blasting today. Swinging the onto the quarry track, the car groaned and bounced as it bowled over the ruts. He was gaining on Millie now. Ahead of him, she was off the pony, now, pushing her way through the gate into the field above the quarry.

By the time his car had screeched to a halt, and he’d flung himself over the gate, Cracker was galloping up the field towards the brow of the hill. Not giving much for his chances of catching her, but he’d let her go in London, and no way was he going to give up this time. Flinging himself at the incline he began to run. Ahead of him, Cracker and Millie were breaking the skyline now, silhouetted against the blue. Ed froze, as he saw Cracker rear up. Then his stomach hit the deck. Millie was falling.

His lungs were bursting as he powered on up the hill, fighting to reach Mille, who was sprawled on the grass ahead of him. Grimacing at the irony of the déjà-vu, dying inside as the image of Millie lying prone and deathly flashed through his mind. And then he was there, one hand on her honey-brown thigh, the other brushing back a hayrick of hair to find her jaw set, her smokey eyes sparking straight into his.

‘Don’t say it Mitchum.’

‘What, the bit about girls who leave their hats behind not having any brains, or the I love you part?’ He knew he was pushing it, but, what the hell, she was alive.

‘The brains thing.’ And showing her displeasure by kicking him.

He flinched as she caught him square on the shin. ‘Whoa.’

Then her eyes blurred, and her voice sank to a whisper, ‘About the other –’ Her head rolled sideways as she avoided his gaze. ‘There’s stuff I need to tell you.’

He fought the urge to crash his mouth over hers.

‘If its stuff that makes you tear off on horseback, maybe we’d better talk about it right away, if your head’s okay that is?’

‘My head’s fine, it’s my backside and my pride that are suffering.’ She gave a shamefaced grimace ‘A rabbit jumped up under Cracker’s nose, I shouldn’t have come off.’ She pushed herself to standing, and hobbled towards the pony, grazing nearby, and knotted his reins. ‘He’s all good for a few minutes.’ She eased herself down onto the grass again, drawing her legs in up front of her, and hugging her knees tightly.

‘So?’ He sat down beside her. ‘If it’s the money thing, I’ll give it all away.’

‘If only it were that simple. It’s the love thing – it can’t happen.’ She shook her head, disconsolately. She hesitated, drawing in a deep breath. ‘When I told you your mother was strong when she decided to have you, I knew that because I went through the same thing as she did. Except I … ’ She faltered. ‘I wasn’t strong like your mother. I was weak and I was a coward, and everything went wrong.’

‘Ah, Millie … ’ He reached to slide a protective arm around her, but she pushed him away.

‘I regret it every day.’ She blurted the words dismally, hanging her head. ‘I was with Josh, at the end of my second year at uni. I told him I was pregnant, and he didn’t want to know … ’

‘I knew he was a waste of space, I knew he’d hurt you.’ Fire flared in Ed’s belly at the mention of Josh. He’d always wanted to tear the guy limb from limb.

Millie sniffed, and swallowed hard. ‘After my first scan at twelve weeks I started getting stomach cramps, and the doctor said I was over-tired and needed to rest. Oh, and to stop my dancing and strenuous exercise. So I ended up going home to my parents, which wasn’t what I’d planned, but I didn’t know what else to do. But once I got there, everyone started saying I wouldn’t cope on my own, and questioning whether I should even go through with the pregnancy. I was already stressed, but their reaction was such a shock it made it worse. I can’t blame anyone but myself, but we had this big argument, and I went dashing out of the house. It was raining, and I was down by the river, half running, half walking, when the cramps came on really badly, and I collapsed. Someone stopped and took me to hospital, but I was bleeding badly by the time I got there, and two days later I lost the baby. And it was all my fault. If I hadn’t stressed my body like that, if I’d only stayed at home, who knows, the baby would have been okay.’ She leaned back, raking her hands through the tangle of her hair, and sighed hopelessly.

‘Don’t be so hard on yourself, Mille, you don’t know that’

‘And the time in hospital was awful.’ She screwed up her face, and shuddered. “That’s why I couldn’t bear to stay in hospital when I hurt my head. The smell of the antiseptic brought it all back.’ Her bottom lip juddered, and she scraped away a silent tear.

‘Sweetheart … ’ He reached across. At least she might let him hold her knee.

‘The worst thing was, poor Sophie had been trying to have a baby for years. I think my parents couldn’t bear to think of Sophie go through the agony of seeing me have an unplanned child when she couldn’t have one herself.’