Read How to Win Friends and Influence People Online

Authors: Dale Carnegie

Tags: #Success, #Careers - General, #Interpersonal Relations, #Business & Economics, #Business Communication, #Persuasion (Psychology), #Communication In Business, #Family & Relationships, #Personal Growth, #Self-Help, #Applied Psychology, #Psychology, #Leadership, #Personal Growth - Success, #General, #Careers

How to Win Friends and Influence People (22 page)

BOOK: How to Win Friends and Influence People
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PRINCIPLE 11

Dramatize your ideas.

WHEN NOTHING ELSE WORKS,

TRY THIS

 

Charles Schwab had a mill manager whose people

weren’t producing their quota of work.

“How is it,” Schwab asked him, “that a manager as

capable as you can’t make this mill turn out what it

should?”

"I don’t know,” the manager replied. “I’ve coaxed the

men, I’ve pushed them, I’ve sworn and cussed, I’ve

threatened them with damnation and being fired. But

nothing works. They just won’t produce.”

This conversation took place at the end of the day, just

before the night shift came on. Schwab asked the manager

for a piece of chalk, then, turning to the nearest

man, asked: “How many heats did your shift make

today?”

"Six."

Without another word, Schwab chalked a big figure

six on the floor, and walked away.

When the night shift came in, they saw the “6” and

asked what it meant.

“The big boss was in here today,” the day people said.

“He asked us how many heats we made, and we told

him six. He chalked it down on the floor.”

The next morning Schwab walked through the mill

again. The night shift had rubbed out “6” and replaced

it with a big “7.”

When the day shift reported for work the next morning,

they saw a big “7” chalked on the floor. So the night

shift thought they were better than the day shift did

they? Well, they would show the night shift a thing or

two. The crew pitched in with enthusiasm, and when

they quit that night, they left behind them an enormous,

swaggering "10." Things were stepping up.

Shortly this mill, which had been lagging way behind

in production, was turning out more work than any other

mill in the plant.

The principle?

Let Charles Schwab say it in his own words: “The

way to get things done,” say Schwab, “is to stimulate

competition. I do not mean in a sordid, money-getting

way, but in the desire to excel.”

The desire to excel! The challenge! Throwing down

the gauntlet! An infallible way of appealing to people of

spirit.

Without a challenge, Theodore Roosevelt would never

have been President of the United States. The Rough

Rider, just back from Cuba, was picked for governor of

New York State. The opposition discovered he was no

longer a legal resident of the state, and Roosevelt,

frightened, wished to withdraw. Then Thomas Collier

Platt, then U.S. Senator from New York, threw down the

challenge. Turning suddenly on Theodore Roosevelt, he

cried in a ringing voice: “Is the hero of San Juan Hill a

coward?”

Roosevelt stayed in the fight - and the rest is history.

A challenge not only changed his life; it had a real effect

upon the future of his nation.

“All men have fears, but the brave put down their

fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to

victory” was the motto of the King’s Guard in ancient

Greece. What greater challenge can be offered than the

opportunity to overcome those fears?

When Al Smith was governor of New York, he was up

against it. Sing Sing, at the time the most notorious pen-

itentiary west of Devil's Island, was without a warden.

Scandals had been sweeping through the pristin walls,

scandals and ugly rumors. Smith needed a strong man to

rule Sing Sing - an iron man. But who? He sent for

Lewis E. Lawes of New Hampton.

“How about going up to take charge of Sing Sing?” he

said jovially when Lawes stood before him. “They need

a man up there with experience.”

Lawes was flabbergasted. He knew the dangers of

Sing Sing. It was a political appointment, subject to the

vagaries of political whims. Wardens had come and gone

- one had lasted only three weeks. He had a career to

consider. Was it worth the risk?

Then Smith, who saw his hesitation, leaned back in

his chair and smiled. “Young fellow,” he said, “I don’t

blame you for being scared. It’s a tough spot. It’ll take a

big person to go up there and stay.”

So Smith was throwing down a challenge, was he?

Lawes liked the idea of attempting a job that called for

someone “big.”

So he went. And he stayed. He stayed, to become the

most famous warden of his time. His book
20,000 Years

in Sing Sing
sold into the hundred of thousands of copies.

His broadcasts on the air and his stories of prison

life have inspired dozens of movies. His “humanizing”

of criminals wrought miracles in the way of prison reform.

“I have never found,” said Harvey S. Firestone,

founder of the great Firestone Tire and Rubber Company,

“that pay and pay alone would either bring together

or hold good people. I think it was the game

itself.”

Frederic Herzberg, one of the great behavorial scientists,

concurred. He studied in depth the work attitudes

of thousands of people ranging from factory workers to

senior executives. What do you think he found to be the

most motivating factor - the one facet of the jobs that

was most stimulating? Money? Good working conditions?

Fringe benefits? No - not any of those. The one

major factor that motivated people was the work itself. If

the work was exciting and interesting, the worker looked

forward to doing it and was motivated to do a good job.

That is what every successful person loves: the game.

The chance for self-expression. The chance to prove his

or her worth, to excel, to win. That is what makes foot-races

and hog-calling and pie-eating contests. The desire

to excel. The desire for a feeling of importance.

PRINCIPLE 12

Throw down a challenge.

 

I n a N u t s h e l l

WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING

 

 

PRINCIPLE 1

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

 

PRINCIPLE 2

Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say,

“You’re wrong.”

 

PRINCIPLE 3

If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

 

PRINCIPLE 4

Begin in a friendly way.

 

PRINCIPLE 5

Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

 

PRINCIPLE 6

Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

 

PRINCIPLE 7

Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

 

PRINCIPLE 8

Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of

view.

 

PRINCIPLE 9

Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

 

PRINCIPLE 10

Appeal to the nobler motives.

 

PRINCIPLE 11

Dramatize your ideas.

 

PRINCIPLE 12

Throw down a challenge.

 

 

PART FOUR

 

Be a Leader: How to Change

People Without Giving

Offense or Arousing

Resentment

IF YOU MUST FIND FAULT, THIS IS

THE WAY TO BEGIN

 

A friend of mine was a guest at the White House for a

weekend during the administration of Calvin Coolidge.

Drifting into the President’s private office, he heard

Coolidge say to one of his secretaries, “That’s a pretty

dress you are wearing this morning, and you are a very

attractive young woman.”

That was probably the most effusive praise Silent Cal

had ever bestowed upon a secretary in his life. It was so

unusual, so unexpected, that the secretary blushed in

confusion. Then Coolidge said, “Now, don’t get stuck

up. I just said that to make you feel good. From now on,

I wish you would be a little bit more careful with your

Punctuation.”

His method was probably a bit obvious, but the psychology

was superb. It is always easier to listen to unpleasant

things after we have heard some praise of our

good points.

A barber lathers a man before he shaves him; and that

is precisely what McKinley did back in 1896, when he

was running for President. One of the prominent Republicans

of that day had written a campaign speech that he

felt was just a trifle better than Cicero and Patrick Henry

and Daniel Webster all rolled into one. With great glee,

this chap read his immortal speech aloud to McKinley.

The speech had its fine points, but it just wouldn’t do. It

would have raised a tornado of criticism. McKinley

didn’t want to hurt the man’s feelings. He must not kill

the man’s splendid enthusiasm, and yet he had to say

"no." Note how adroitly he did it.

"My friend, that is a splendid speech, a magnificent

speech,” McKinley said. “No one could have prepared a

better one. There are many occasions on which it would

be precisely the right thing to say, but is it quite suitable

to this particular occasion? Sound and sober as it is from

your standpoint, I must consider its effect from the

party’s standpoint. Now you go home and write a speech

along the lines I indicate, and send me a copy of it.”

He did just that. McKinley blue-penciled and helped

him rewrite his second speech, and he became one of

the effective speakers of the campaign.

Here is the second most famous letter that Abraham

Lincoln ever wrote. (His most famous one was written to

Mrs. Bixby, expressing his sorrow for the death of the

five sons she had lost in battle.) Lincoln probably dashed

this letter off in five minutes; yet it sold at public auction

in 1926 for twelve thousand dollars, and that, by the

way, was more money than Lincoln was able to save

during half a century of hard work. The letter was written

to General Joseph Hooker on April 26, 1863, during

the darkest period of the Civil War. For eighteen

months, Lincoln’s generals had been leading the Union

Army from one tragic defeat to another. Nothing but futile,

stupid human butchery. The nation was appalled.

Thousands of soldiers had deserted from the army, and

en the Republican members of the Senate had revolted

and wanted to force Lincoln out of the White House.

“We are now on the brink of destruction,” Lincoln

said. It appears to me that even the Almighty is

against us. I can hardly see a ray of hope.” Such was the

black sorrow and chaos out of which this letter

came.

I am printing the letter here because it shows how

Lincoln tried to change an obstreperous general when

the very fate of the nation could have depended upon

the general’s action.

This is perhaps the sharpest letter Abe Lincoln wrote

after he became President; yet you will note that he

praised General Hooker before he spoke of his grave

faults.

Yes, they were grave faults, but Lincoln didn’t call

them that. Lincoln was more conservative, more diplomatic.

Lincoln wrote: “There are some things in regard

to which I am not quite satisfied with you.” Talk about

tact! And diplomacy!

Here is the letter addressed to General Hooker:

I have placed you at the head of the Army of the Potomac.

Of course, I have done this upon what appears to me to be

sufficient reasons, and yet I think it best for you to know

that there are some things in regard to which I am not quite

satisfied with you.

I believe you to be a brave and skillful soldier, which, of

course, I like. I also believe you do not mix politics with

your profession, in which you are right. You have confidence

in yourself, which is a valuable if not an indispensable

quality.

You are ambitious, which, within reasonable bounds,

does good rather than harm, But I think that during General

Burnside’s command of the army you have taken counsel of

your ambition and thwarted him as much as you could, in

which you did a great wrong to the country and to a most

meritorious and honorable brother officer.

I have heard, in such a way as to believe it, of your recently

saying that both the army and the Government

needed a dictator. Of course, it was not for this, but in spite

of it, that I have given you command.

Only those generals who gain successes can set up as

dictators. What I now ask of you is military success and I

will risk the dictatorship.

The Government will support you to the utmost of its

ability, which is neither more nor less than it has done and

will do for all commanders. I much fear that the spirit which

you have aided to infuse into the army, of criticizing their

commander and withholding confidence from him, will

now turn upon you. I shall assist you, as far as I can, to put

it down.

Neither you nor Napoleon, if he were alive again, could

get any good out of an army while such spirit prevails in it,

and now beware of rashness. Beware of rashness, but with

energy and sleepless vigilance go forward and give us victories.

You are not a Coolidge, a McKinley or a Lincoln. You

want to know whether this philosophy will operate for

you in everyday business contacts. Will it? Let’s see.

Let’s take the case of W. P. Gaw of the Wark Company,

Philadelphia.

The Wark Company had contracted to build and complete

a large office building in Philadelphia by a certain

specified date. Everything was going along well; the

building was almost finished, when suddenly the sub-contractor

making the ornamental bronze work to go on

the exterior of this building declared that he couldn’t

make delivery on schedule. What! An entire building

held up! Heavy penalties! Distressing losses! All because

of one man!

Long-distance telephone calls. Arguments! Heated

conversations! All in vain. Then Mr. Gaw was sent to

New York to beard the bronze lion in his den.

“Do you know you are the only person in Brooklyn

with your name,?" Mr Gaw asked the president of the

subcontracting firm shortly after they were introduced.

The president was surprised. “No, I didn’t know

that.”

“Well,” said Mr. Gaw, “when I got off the train this

morning, I looked in the telephone book to get your

address, and you’re the only person in the Brooklyn

phone book with your name.”

“I never knew that,” the subcontractor said. He

checked the phone book with interest. “Well, it’s an unusual

name,” he said proudly. "My family came from

Holland and settled in New York almost two hundred

years ago. " He continued to talk about his family and his

ancestors for several minutes. When he finished that,

Mr. Gaw complimented him on how large a plant he had

and compared it favorably with a number of similar

plants he had visited. “It is one of the cleanest and neatest

bronze factories I ever saw,” said Gaw.

“I’ve spent a lifetime building up this business,” the

subcontractor said, “and I am rather proud of it. Would

you like to take a look around the factory?”

During this tour of inspection, Mr. Gaw complimented

the other man on his system of fabrication and

told him how and why it seemed superior to those of

some of his competitors. Gaw commented on some unusual

machines, and the subcontractor announced that

he himself had invented those machines. He spent considerable

time showing Gaw how they operated and the

superior work they turned out. He insisted on taking his

visitor to lunch. So far, mind you, not a word had been

said about the real purpose of Gaw’s visit.

After lunch, the subcontractor said, “Now, to get down

to business. Naturally, I know why you’re here. I didn’t

expect that our meeting would be so enjoyable. You can

go back to Philadelphia with my promise that your material

will be fabricated and shipped, even if other orders

have to be delayed.”

Mr. Gaw got everything that he wanted without even

asking for it. The material arrived on time, and the building

was completed on the day the completion contract

specified.

Would this have happened had Mr. Gaw used the

hammer-and-dynamite method generally employed on

such occasions?

Dorothy Wrublewski, a branch manager of the Fort

Monmouth, New Jersey, Federal Credit Union, reported

to one of our classes how she was able to help one of her

employees become more productive.

“We recently hired a young lady as a teller trainee.

Her contact with our customers was very good. She was

accurate and efficient in handling individual transactions.

The problem developed at the end of the day

when it was time to balance out.

“The head teller came to me and strongly suggested

that I fire this woman. ‘She is holding up everyone else

because she is so slow in balancing out. I’ve shown her

over and over, but she can’t get it. She’s got to go.’

“The next day I observed her working quickly and

accurately when handling the normal everyday transactions,

and she was very pleasant with our customers.

“It didn’t take long to discover why she had trouble

balancing out. After the office closed, I went over to talk

with her. She was obviously nervous and upset. I

praised her for being so friendly and outgoing with the

customers and complimented her for the accuracy and

speed used in that work. I then suggested we review the

procedure we use in balancing the cash drawer. Once

she realized I had confidence in her, she easily followed

my suggestions and soon mastered this function. We

have had no problems with her since then.”

Beginning with praise is like the dentist who begins

his work with Novocain. The patient still gets a drilling,

but the Novocain is pain-killing. A leader will use . . .

 

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