Huckleberry Christmas (8 page)

Treva had accused Beth of not loving her, of being cold and heartless for even thinking of leaving her mother-in-law to die a lonely and forsaken death.

So Beth had stayed, far longer than she had truly been needed, compelled by guilt she hadn’t deserved, even though Treva had been in remission. Even though her own children could have, should have cared for their mother.

Living with Treva had proved as painful as living with Amos. In Treva’s eyes, Beth couldn’t do anything right. The sheets she washed always came out gray, the dinners she cooked tasted like pig slop, and the way she looked after her own baby was a disgrace.

Beth had been silent too long. Tyler eyed her with a piercing blue-gray stare as if he were trying to read her thoughts.

“It . . . it was difficult,” she finally managed to say. “Treva needed so much looking after.”

“Is she doing better?”

“Jah, fit as a fiddle.” Beth brushed some crumbs from her lap as if brushing aside the topic. She didn’t want to waste any more emotion on Treva Hostetler. “I wouldn’t have left her if she still needed me.”

“Of course you wouldn’t have.” Tyler rarely altered his expression, and yet his whole face conveyed undeniable compassion. “But she wanted you to marry Amos’s brother. You had to go.”

“Jah.” Beth whispered to keep her voice from cracking into a million pieces. Tyler understood better than he thought he did.

He put down his plate and leaned close to her. “I’m sorry she made it so difficult for you.” He reached across sleeping Toby and caressed her cheek with his fingers. His touch felt heavenly, like a tingly kiss of rose petals against her skin. “You’re upset.” He furrowed his brow. “Was she unkind to you, Beth?”

Beth held perfectly still, not wanting to break the tenuous connection between them, even as she fought the need to tell him everything. She didn’t want him to discover her wickedness. The words caught in her throat. “I was very unhappy.”

His fingers travelled to the nape of her neck. She closed her eyes and let the sensation of his touch course through her. His closeness felt so good. He bent closer and whispered in her ear, “You’re safe now.”

At that moment, Beth did feel completely safe. Worries about Toby and her new business melted with the touch of Tyler’s hand. Something deep inside reassured her that she would always find safety with Tyler.

She opened her eyes. The firelight flickered on Tyler’s face as he stared at her lips. Did she dare tell him how she had never felt sure of Amos and so could never be sure of any man, not even Tyler?

Especially
not Tyler. Tyler, so thoughtful and accommodating, wanted to be helpful—to everyone. Did he see her as someone to be loved or someone to be rescued?

Well, she didn’t need his rescue. She could take care of herself.

Beth jerked away from him and leaped to her feet. “Stop it, Tyler. Just stop.”

He widened his eyes in shock. She could have laid him flat with her pinky finger. “What . . . what did I do? I’m sorry.”

She stomped off in no direction in particular, leaving Toby sleeping on the blanket. He would be fine with Mammi and Dawdi nearby. She had to clear her head of Tyler Yoder. Of men in general. She didn’t want a man; she didn’t need a man. She wouldn’t hang her happiness on a man ever again.

She found herself walking amongst the deserted buggies and horses parked in Miller’s field. She petted the nose of a beautiful chestnut mare that whinnied softly to her and then moved down the line of horses, giving each of them a little affection as she passed.

“My sewing business is doing very well,” she said to a dappled grey that nodded his head thoughtfully when she spoke. “I can support Toby and myself on my income. I can save on rent if I find a small house. We don’t need a lot of room.” A milky white got her attention next. “I have it all planned out, you know. I’ve added everything up carefully. I’ll take gute care of Toby.”

“You can talk to the horses, but you can’t talk to me?” Tyler strolled toward her in the gathering darkness with his hands behind his back and his hat pushed back as if he’d been smacking himself in the forehead. He raised an eyebrow, but she could see the unguarded worry in his eyes. Of course he had already blamed himself for her outburst.

How could she ever stay mad at someone so annoyingly forgiving?

A grin pulled at Beth’s mouth. “The horses don’t fight back.”

“I don’t fight back.”

“No, you don’t. I find it irritating.”

Tyler raised one hand in surrender. “I asked you once to tell me how to be less irritating. You haven’t given me anything to go on yet.”

Beth patted the milky white’s neck. “I’ll get back to you on that.”

Tyler took his hand from behind his back. He held a wilted sunflower in his fingers. “I scoured Miller’s pasture to find this, in case you want to smack me with it.”

Beth laughed and took the pathetic wildflower. For someone so serious, Tyler certainly knew how to tickle her funny bone. “I’ve brought this on myself. You’ll never trust me around flowers again.”

Tyler took off his hat and slapped it weakly against his leg. “Beth, I’m sorry for whatever I did. The last thing I would ever purposefully do is hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt me. You annoyed me.”

“Did something I said make you think of Amos? I know how much you miss him.”

She wished he wouldn’t bring up Amos. She didn’t miss Amos at all, and it made her feel guilty that Tyler believed her to be a better person than she really was. She popped the head off her sunflower and ground it into the dirt with her heel. “For goodness sake, Tyler. It doesn’t have anything to do with Amos.”

“It doesn’t?”

“I’m not a homeless puppy.”

Puzzlement flooded his expression. “I never said you were.”

“You want to help everybody because you are a naturally nice person, but I refuse to be one of your projects. I don’t need rescuing. Like a puppy.”

“I’m not fond of dogs.”

“I’m not helpless. You don’t have to bring bratwurst to make me feel better.”

“I thought Felty might like it.”

“We all liked it. You’re so thoughtful.”

He scratched his head. “You’re not upset about Amos?”

“Nae.”

His lips twitched. “You are annoyed because I’m nice to you?”

Beth rolled her eyes. “Well, when you put it that way, I sound like a crazy woman.”

Tyler chuckled softly. “Jah, you do.”

She growled and smacked him on the shoulder with what was left of her sunflower.

He laughed louder. “I’m glad you found a use for that.” He put his hat back on his head and grew more serious. “I’m not going to stop being nice to you, Beth.”

“And I’m not going to stop being irritated.”

“Gute. I love that spark you get in your eyes when you’re mad at me. I love trying to figure out what I’ve done wrong and then apologizing profusely.”

“You do not.”

“Yes, I do.”

They walked back toward the bonfire together.

A lump lodged in Beth’s throat as she thought about a topic she’d been avoiding all evening. “You don’t seem all that curious about your date tonight,” she said.

Tyler stopped walking. “I was having such a nice time, I hoped you’d forgotten.”

“Of course not. If you want to find a wife, we’ve got to get busy.”

Tyler huffed out a breath and folded his hands across his chest. “Okay. Who is she?”

Beth swallowed hard. “Her name is Lorene Zook, and she gets off work at eight. I told her to meet us here.”

“Okay.”

“She’s not shy like Eva Raber.”

“Okay.”

Three girls charged toward Beth like a small herd of cattle. The middle girl, Lorene, had big teeth and a mole right in the center of her chin. Beth bit her bottom lip. A boy like Tyler wasn’t so shallow as to care about appearance.

Lorene stuck out her hand while the girls on either side of her giggled uncontrollably. “Hi, Tyler. I’m Lorene. I know you don’t know who I am, but I know you. Your dat is the bishop in the west district. You came with him when he preached to our congregation in April.”

Beth nibbled on her lip and waited for the eruption.

Tyler shook Lorene’s hand and formed his lips into a passable grin—an amazing feat for someone who didn’t smile all that often.

“I’m twenty-one,” Lorene said. “But just barely. My birthday was last week.”

Tyler nodded cheerfully. “Happy birthday.”

“My brother said I’m an old maid now, but I say there’s plenty of fish in the sea.”

And then it came. Lorene exploded with laughter.

In Bonduel, Lorene was known for one thing. She didn’t just laugh. She cackled like a high-pitched duck with volumes that could rival the loudest car horn.

Tyler flinched at Lorene’s ear-splitting guffaw but stood his ground. A boy like Tyler wasn’t so shallow as to care how loudly Lorene could laugh. He’d work hard to get to know her instead of dismissing her first thing.

“Do you like to roast marshmallows?” Tyler stuttered.

Lorene clapped her hands in delight. “I love roasted marshmallows. Do they have stuff for s’mores? Let’s make s’mores.”

Tyler motioned to the food table. “Okay then, Lorene. Let’s go find the marshmallows.”

He let Lorene and her friends lead the way with only one backward glance at Beth. Would Lorene’s friends be tagging along all night?

Beth nibbled on her thumbnail as she watched them go. All right. She admitted it. Lorene was not the likeliest of prospects for Tyler Yoder, and she had known it the minute she’d arranged the date. But Tyler should meet a whole range of girls, shouldn’t he? The unsuitable candidates only helped him narrow down his choices. Beth provided him a great service.

Beth returned to the blanket, where Mammi and Dawdi sat staring into the dying fire. She reclined next to Toby and stroked his little carrot top. She didn’t need anyone else but Toby in her life. She’d never be lonely, and she’d never risk being so miserable again. Surely God wanted her to be happy after all she’d been through.

Over and over, Beth heard Lorene’s incessant laughter echo into the wide night sky. Tyler must have been keeping her entertained.

Tyler deserved to have a good time. She hoped he was having a good time.

But not really.

Tyler and Aden carried the boards into Felty’s barn and laid them on the floor next to the circular saw that sat in the corner along with Felty’s other woodworking tools.

Tyler took off one of his work gloves and wiped the sweat from his brow. It couldn’t have been more than fifty degrees in the barn, but the wood Aden had chosen for the chest was heavy, and they both panted with exertion. “I’m glad Lily will get her dresser this year,” Tyler said. “I thought you might never show your face on Huckleberry Hill again.”

Aden grinned like an idiot. Always the grinning. Why couldn’t he stop with the grinning? “I had to give you and Beth enough time to fall in love. I figured I’d still have time to finish the dresser after you got engaged.”

The sharp stab of regret surprised him. He’d never be engaged to Beth Hostetler. But Aden was teasing. He expected a joking response. “Very funny,” Tyler managed to say.

“How is that going? Does Beth meet your requirements for a gute life companion? Which is a stupid plan, by the way.”

Tyler cocked an eyebrow and frowned at Aden’s insult. “Beth and I are finished already.”

“What do you mean? Take some time to get to know her.”

Tyler grimaced. “I already proposed, and she already refused and that’s the end of it.”

Aden scraped his jaw off the floor. “You already... ?”

“I didn’t see any point in wasting time once I made up my mind.”

Aden’s eyes danced with amusement. “And she said no?”

“She offered to help me find a more willing partner.”

Aden laughed. “That’s Beth. Always so unselfish.”

“Or eager to get rid of me.” Tyler couldn’t share in Aden’s mirth.

Aden quit laughing and studied Tyler’s face. “You’re disappointed. I should have known. Beth’s no ordinary girl.”

Tyler shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t really care. “It’s a pain to have to spend the time finding someone else.”

“Oh, jah, I’m sure that’s the worst thing ever, having Beth derail your carefully made plans.”

“She wasn’t ever really a part of my plan until you talked me into it.”

Aden’s smile was too wide. “Go ahead. Blame it on me. It’s plain you have absolutely no interest in my pretty cousin.”

“I don’t.”

The door swung open, bringing cool October air with it. Beth blew into the barn like a black nimbus cloud, waving a pizza cutter in the air like a torch. “Tyler Yoder, look what came in the mail today.”

Aden glanced from Beth to Tyler. “I’ll go see if Dawdi wants to help us with this wood,” he said and hastened out the door as if there were a fire. Or a looming thunderstorm.

Tyler realized what Beth held in her hand. He smiled innocently and feigned ignorance. “Somebody sent you a pizza cutter?”

Beth shoved the offensive tool at Tyler. “You know very well what this is. It’s a fabric rotary cutter. The newest model. It came with a cutting mat the perfect size for cutting out dresses.”

“Who sent it?”

Beth folded her arms. “The return address is conveniently smudged.”

“A tool like that could come in handy in your line of work. Why are you mad? It’s a real nice gift.”

Beth sighed in exasperation. “I already told you, Tyler. I don’t need to be rescued, and I don’t need your help.”

Tyler took two steps back in case she decided she wanted to smack him with her sharp new toy. “Maybe since you won’t accept gifts from people, someone wanted to send it to you anonymously so you wouldn’t be offended. And then somebody hoped he wouldn’t be here when you received it. Maybe he wanted you to have a chance to cool down so you wouldn’t bite his head off.”

Beth narrowed her eyes, sniffed indignantly, and sat on a nearby milking stool. The storm came to rest. She let a grin escape her lips. “You are impossible. And I don’t bite people’s heads off.”

“Maybe the lady at the fabric store told this particular person that you could cut out dresses twice as fast with a rotary cutter. Maybe he wanted to do something nice for you—no hidden motive or devious plot involving homeless puppies.”

Beth laughed as if she couldn’t keep her amusement cooped up any longer. When she wasn’t laughing, she seemed to be on the verge of bursting into laughter every moment.

Tyler pulled the other milking stool next to her and sat down. This way he could look into those intelligent, expressive eyes of hers. “And maybe you didn’t check the package carefully. It might be addressed to Toby. The mat and cutter could have been meant for him.”

“How silly of me not to think of that.”

“I can’t wait to see how fast you’ll go now.”

Beth’s eyes sparkled with a hint of a tease. “So, you don’t think I’m all that fast with a pair of scissors.”

“What are you talking about? You wield a pair of scissors like my dat handles a milking machine.”

Beth stretched her legs and turned her toes inward. “If Amos thought I was bad at something, he’d give me a gift to help improve my skills. Our first Christmas, I asked for a new sewing machine. He gave me a frying pan because he said I needed lots of practice in the kitchen. After Toby’s birth, he gave me a diet book because no wife of his was going to be fat.”

Tyler was stunned. How could Amos treat his own wife that way? His stomach tied itself in a knot. Beth didn’t deserve that.

Beth forced a laugh. “I have a nice set of pans, anyway.”

She didn’t fool him. Her flippant remark hid a mountain of pain. But she had loved Amos, hadn’t she? Maybe she had been able to see past his harshness. If she had, she was a better person than Tyler could ever be. The thought of Amos presenting Beth with a saucepan on Christmas morning stoked a fire inside him. No wonder Beth hated gifts.

He placed his hand over hers. He couldn’t resist the feel of her skin. “I bought you that fabric cutter because an expert needs the right tools.”

She blushed and lowered her eyes before curving her lips into a mischievous grin. “So, you admit your guilt.”

He coughed dramatically. “I mean, if I wanted to give you a rotary cutter, it would have been because I wanted to be nice.” He squeezed her hand. “Please don’t judge me by what Amos did or said. I’m not Amos.”

She slumped her shoulders. “I tend to overreact.”

“Just a little.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Tyler leaned back and widened his eyes. “I’m right?”

Beth smiled and groaned. “Yes, I admit it. You’re right. I’m wrong. Don’t rub it in.”

Tyler shook his head. “I don’t want to be right at the expense of your happiness. If you feel better about it, I don’t mind being wrong.”

She burst into that throaty laugh he loved so much. “Oh dear. I’ve dug a very deep hole, haven’t I? You’re afraid to stick one toe in my pool.”

“I’m not afraid, just wise.” Tyler withdrew his hand from hers. He should behave properly at least some of the time. “Since I’ve already irritated you today, I have an important matter to discuss.”

“Will I be further irritated?”

“I hope not. I want to talk to you about the date I had on Friday night.”

Beth pursed her lips to keep from smiling. “Oh. Your date. How did you like Fern?”

“I’m trying to be good-natured about the whole thing—”

“You have been.”

He raised his eyebrows. “But a thirty-five-year-old? Is that the best you can do?”

“Fern Newswenger milks three cows a day. I thought you might have something in common.”

“She’s more than ten years older than I am. Don’t you think that’s stretching things a bit?”

Beth always giggled as if she couldn’t contain herself. “Oh, all right. I admit even I knew Fern wasn’t going to work out.”

“She cut my steak for me at dinner and insisted on driving the buggy.” Tyler chuckled. “It was like taking my aunt on a date.”

“You have to admit she was better than Eva.”

Tyler threw his hands in the air. “I give up. No more dates.”

Beth drew her brows together. “No, no, you can’t quit now. You’ve only had three dates. I’m in the narrowing-down process.”

Tyler pinned her with a playfully sober gaze. “Let me narrow it down for you. How about a girl between the ages of nineteen and twenty-four whose laugh can’t be heard in three counties.”

“You didn’t like Lorene?”

“She was lovely, absolutely lovely, but I prefer a quieter existence than the one I am bound to get with Lorene Zook.”

Tyler loved making Beth laugh. He only kept up with this dating idea because it gave him an excuse to see Beth.

“Okay. I will find someone else, but have you ever considered that maybe you are too picky?”

“Eva Raber put me to sleep. I think we can do better than that.”

“If you keep falling asleep on dates, no one is going to want to go out with you.”

“And if you keep sending me mature and seasoned women, I might choose to become a bachelor, like Vernon Schmucker.”

“I’ll work very hard to see that, Lord willing, you don’t turn into Vernon Schmucker.”

He never smiled more than when he was with Beth. “Denki. I’m relieved. Now, can we go in the house and try out this new tool of yours? I don’t know who gave it to you, but he must be a very nice young man. I hope you appreciate his present.”

She gifted him with a dazzling smile. “I do appreciate it, but I might be tempted to rip the petals off a hundred sunflowers if he ever does it again.”

“It’s fortunate for him that it’s almost wintertime. No more sunflowers until next summer.”