Hullabaloo and Holly Too ( A Cozy Cash Mystery Christmas Novella) (The Cozy Cash Mysteries) (8 page)

Each member of our family took turns holding up their ornaments to the oohs and ahhhs of everyone else.

For Aunt Tulip, my mom had created a mouth-blown and hand-painted glass spear of asparagus.

“OMG! I’m going to have to start an Aphrodisiac Produce themed-tree! This is wonderful, Suzie. Really quite extraordinary,” Aunt Tulip said, getting up from her chair to wrap her gypsy-bejeweled sleeves around my mother.

“I’m glad you like it.”

As each ornament was revealed, the crowd went wild.

For Grams, there was a lunch box with the name of her diner in my mom’s beautiful print. For Kat, it was a neon-colored cowboy with the name of her saloon on his hat. Lily received a miniature hand-sewn satin bra on a hanger, with the name of her family’s water bra company - Fluid Fulfillment - hanging on a tiny price tag my mom had added. Roxy, of course, got a cowboy boot and stiletto hooked together as if they were about to dance across the pine needles. Jules got one bedazzled and sparkling cupcake. For Audrey, there were light blue baby booties with the names of her twin sons. And not to be left out, each man at the table got a reindeer to serve as a keepsake from their first Christmas in Witherspoon Whoville. Roman’s reindeer even had a tiny crown resting in its rack.

“You’ve outdone yourself this year,” my dad said, leaning across his end of the table to place a kiss on mom’s sweet, pink-blushed cheek.

“This is a special year. Our family has grown, and I wanted to celebrate that.”

She lifted up her wine glass and toasted us all.

Following a round of good cheers, the doorbell chimed.

Who could that be
?

I looked at my mom. It didn’t take but a second or two at most to see fear and panic take over her previous, nothing-but-sweet, season-of-giving expression.

Wanda Lu returned to the dining room with a medium-sized box. It was wrapped to-the-nines, although still not as terrifically presented as one of my mom’s gifts.

I studied the lime green metallic paper, covered in what looked to be diamond-encrusted white stars that reflected every bit of light from my parent’s chandelier.

My mother took the box, and I swear I saw her hands shaking as she looked at the tag hanging over one side of the mysterious package.

“It’s for you, Zoey,” she said, so softly that her voice was almost a whisper.

My hand had been resting on Roman’s knee, and at the mention of my name as the recipient, I felt his body jerk. He was smart. He’d more than likely caught onto my mom’s change in mood.

“Were you expecting this package?” He asked, in a tone that usually indicated the activation of his Dark Knight protective mode.

“I was not,” I said, looking at my mom, who was begging me with her eyes to be careful with this box.

“In that case, R, I’d like you to check it out first,” Roman said.

“I’m way ahead of you, My Prince,” R said, already having taken the package from my mother’s hands.

“I’m not sure what this is about, but I don’t like it one bit,” my dad spoke-up.

“Suzie? Zoey? I know something’s up with you two. I’ve known for quite awhile, but I figured you’d say something when you wanted to. However, I’m thinking now would be a good time,” Dad said, setting his napkin on the table and scooting back his chair.

His large ruby and yellow gold ring caught the light. Noting the familiar cut of the large gem and its unique setting, my stomach flipped circles, and the knots that had been there for months tightened.

I looked at my mom, who seemed to not know quite where to begin.

“I agree with your dad, Zoey,” Roman said, raising his eyebrows and looking at me with a stare that left no other options but to spill it.

In the mean time, R took a small handheld device out of his pocket. The guy always had the exact right gadget at the exact right moment. He then waved the wand-like thing-a-ma-jigger over the sides of the package.

No warning bells and beeps sounded, so he passed the box to me.

My hands shook as I looked to Roman and R, who both nodded for me to open the box.

I lifted the lid slowly, holding my breath the entire time then carefully moved aside the reams of tissue paper.

As my fingers ran across the shredded bark-like shell of the object inside the packaging, I gasped.

Could it be
?

OMG! It was
.

A coconut.

I pulled the coconut out of the box and looked at my mother, whose face was now as pale white as my father’s beard.

I knew what I had to do. By carefully pulling the cracked seam of the coconut, I opened the shell.

I didn’t even have to look up to judge my family’s reaction. Their collective gasp filled our otherwise silent dining room.

“What is our Witherspoon Blue Moon Diamond doing in that coconut? And who just gave it back to us? Better yet…how did said person or people get it to begin with?”

My dad asked the questions very quietly, which meant he was on the verge of erupting at Mt. Vesuvius levels.

“I can explain,” I said, and I thought I could, at least in part.

“That would be prudent,” Roman said, his Dark Knight look now one hundred percent in place.

“My father isn’t just Santa Claus and an inventor. He’s made his fortune in the gem world. He’s one of the top gemologists in the world. Well…topped only…perhaps…by my mother, who’s the world’s top curator and a damn fine lapidarist of the rarest jewels.”

Roman and R exchanged looks. Then Roman nodded to R, who suddenly took leave of our table and spoke into his watch for their security team to listen up.

“A few months ago,” my mother took over from there, “Zoey had a problem with one of our security team members. Basically, the asshole was stalking her.”

As he wrapped his hands around his dinner fork, Roman’s knuckles turned white. His jaw did that dead serious twitch thing, and he then cracked his neck, which I often noted he did before he was more than willing to snap in two someone else’s neck.

“One of the elves was after our precious Zoey? And you didn’t tell me?” My dad looked at my mom, the hurt clearly overtaking his anger.

“You haven’t been feeling well lately, and we didn’t want to worry you, Nick,” Mom said, squeezing his hand for what I’m sure was reassurance.

“It doesn’t matter how I’m feeling. You two are my world.”

“And mine now too, Sir,” Roman cut–in. “You have nothing to worry about. R and I will take care of this.”

To me, he added, “Tell me everything I need to know, Zoey. Now.”

And just like that, we went from Christmas Eve-eve to nothin’ but carats and coconuts.

Twenty-four hours later, while Roman and I stood in my parent’s backyard waiting for my dad and his team to begin their big ride, I huddled into the protective warmth of Roman’s side.

When a perfect mineral crystal has been cut and polished into a form of amazing beauty by some skilled artisan like my mother, it’s called a gem.

And I’d indeed found a gem in Roman.

I also had a gem of a family, and one Roman and I would do anything to protect.

Of the four thousand known minerals, only fifteen have been made into commercially available gems. There are a few hundred more, that have throughout history, been made into very rare cut stones.

There is one, however, that is rarer still. Probably more valuable per volume than all the artifacts on earth combined. Steeped in the history of kings and queens and exotic places, there is a story of untold riches.

And that story begins right here in my parent’s – Mr. and Mrs. Claus’ – Whoville.

But that’s a story for another day.

Tonight, my father takes flight to treat the kids of the world to their own favorite gems in the form of the toys he and my mother and their elves have made.

They’ve turned their wealth into a wealth of love that they spread around the globe on this one magical night.

“I just don’t get it,” Roman said, holding me even closer.

My dad and his reindeer team waved while passing us one last time on their way to their runway.

“Get what?”

“Is your father Santa Claus or not?”

“I suppose it depends on how much you truly believe,” I said, knowing I’d told him the truth as I knew it.

“All I know is, I believe in you and our family, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you all safe.”

And I knew he meant it.

I kissed his cheek, then turned back to the sound of my dad’s sleigh bells jingling with glee as he called out to Comet, Cupid and Company.

Roman and I watched as Rudolph and his ruby red, GPS-endowed nose disappeared into the swirling snow and darkness of Christmas Eve night.

“Is his nose a real ruby?” Roman asked.

“It is,” I said, relieved to be able to share all of my past with my prince. “C’mon, I’ve got something I want to show you.”

I took his hand and led him to my parent’s gem vaults, where they’d spent years perfecting techniques to capture the colors and brilliance of the world’s rarest gems.

If we were going to save the kinds of rubies that made Rudolph’s nose able to guide a sleigh, we had our work cut-out for us.

We also had a lot of packing to do.

As soon as the holidays were through, we were on our way to the exotic locale that held the secret to my family’s fortune.

In the mean time…

Merry Christmas to all.

And may your new years too be filled with carats and coconuts.

THE END

(The Cozy Cash Mysteries continue with
CARATS AND COCONUTS
)

Here’s a big ol’ Happy Holidays shout-out to all of you in D. D. Scott-ville!

Whether you’re brand new to my Bootscootin’, Cozy Cash Mystery, Mom Squad Mini-Mayhem and Stuck with a Series Worlds, or you keep comin’ back for more of my quirky-fun fabulousness, cheers to you and your families too this wonderful holiday season!

Nothin’ beats treating y’all to great books for great prices, and I can’t wait to share LOL stories with you for years to come!

Happy Holidays again…from my home to yours.

Cheers! —
D. D. Scott

D. D. Scott is an Amazon and Barnes & Noble Top 100 Bestselling Romantic Comedy and Humorous Mystery Author. She’s a Writer’s Go-To-Gal for Muse Therapy, plus the #1 Amazon Bestselling Author of Muse Therapy: Unleashing Your Inner Sybil and the Co-Founder of
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– The Writer’s Guide to E-Publishing - your destination site for Everything E-Publishing, and Founder of
The RG2E
– The Reader’s Guide to Epublishing – the destination site for all-things Ereading. You can get all the scoop on her, her books, her Muse Therapy Online Classes and Live Workshops, plus juicy tidbits too from her website
D. D. Scott-ville
.

D. D. Scott’s bestselling romantic comedies are all about sexy, sassy, smart, career-driven women and the men who complete them. They’re a bit chick lit with a gone-country twist…and now a humorous mystery, comedic caper twist too. Her Bootscootin’ Books - think Sex and The City meets Urban Cowboy – debuted August 2010, on Amazon’s Kindle, Barnes & Noble’s Nook and at Smashwords, with BOOTSCOOTIN’ BLAHNIKS, followed by STOMPIN’ ON STETSONS and BUCKLES ME BABY. Now, The Bootscootin’ Characters are gettin’ “cozy”…as in Comedic Caper cozy, with the release of THUG GUARD, LIP GLOCK and CARATS & COCONUTS, Books One, Two and Three of her new, Cozy Cash Mysteries, featuring all of your fave Bootscootin’ characters plus tons of quirky new characters too.

She’s a two-time Amazon Movers & Shakers List Author (making it all the way to #2 on that prestigious list) and has been both a featured author and her books have been top picks – including one of the Top 10 Books for Mother’s Day 2011 - for such superfab Ereader-centric Blogs as Ereader News Today (ENT), Kindle Nation Daily, Cheap e-Reads, Pixel of Ink, The Frugal eReader, Indie Books List, Only Romance, and Bargain eBooks. Her blog posts on the Indie Epub World have been picked-up by fantabulous blogs like Bufo Calvin’s I Love My Kindle. She can be spotted all-week long on her one-million-hits-per-month grog The WG2E, a writer’s destination site for all-things-Epublishing. She often can also be found hangin’ on both the Kindle and Nook Boards, her new site The RG2E, a reader’s destination site for all-things Ereading, and has an active blog of her own on her website.