Humbled (10 page)

A week in town and Joel was no closer to getting a job than he was to figuring out if Detroit was for him. He finally stopped by his mother's house after avoiding her for several days.

Joel found her sitting in the kitchen. Sherry had on loungewear as she sipped a cup of coffee. Joel got a bottled drink from the refrigerator.

“Look what the wind has blown in,” his mother said, tracing the rim of her half-empty cup.

Joel plopped into a seat at the table and twisted the cap off his cold bottle of ginger ale. He took several gulps.

“My goodness, somebody's pretty thirsty. Don't you have cold drinks at home?” Sherry asked playfully. Joel grinned. “How exciting for our family. I'm thrilled to be a grandmother,” she said, gripping the handle of the cup. She sipped her coffee. “How's Zarah doing with her morning sickness?”

“I don't know,” he said, taking a few more gulps and hoping his mother would move on to another less complicated topic.

“Why don't you know? The two of you are talking, right?” she asked with a distinct tone of concern.

The flurry of questions was the precise reason he'd avoided visiting his mother for most of the week. She had questions he couldn't answer, which was bound to make her worry. He would work to calm her fears to the best of his ability without lying or overcommitting.

“We're talking, but . . .” he said and paused.

“But what?” Sherry asked, taking her hand off the cup and putting it on Joel's shoulder.

“But we're not living in the same house, at least not for a while,” he said, trusting the last part of his statement would soften the revelation.

“Where are you staying?”

“At the Westin for now.”

“Joel, for goodness' sake, she's pregnant. She needs you now more than ever.” She slapped his shoulder. “How can you be anywhere else except home with her?”

Joel gulped the last of his beverage and left the bottle tilted toward his mouth for a few extra seconds, using the time to shape his response. No answer was going to satisfy his mother, but he wasn't going to lie and create false expectations.

“We needed space.”

“You can't tell me Zarah wants space from you. The woman adores you. If anything, it's you who needs space,” she said. Sherry slapped his shoulder again and inadvertently knocked over her cup. A small amount of coffee spilled onto the table. “Oops. Look what you've made me do.”

“Here, let me help.” Joel jumped up and grabbed paper towels, using the accident as an opportunity to avoid further discussion of his marriage. Any distraction was gladly welcomed. He wiped the table, praying his mother was tired of talking about Zarah. He'd nudge her toward another subject. “I was in the office a few days ago to see Don. I'm hoping he will give me a job at DMI,” Joel said as he and Sherry finished cleaning up the spill. The tension choked the humor that normally found its way into their conversation. He was dismayed.

His mother was silent for what seemed like hours, but was merely a few seconds. Breaking her silence, she said, “Joel, I don't understand how you can abandon your wife while she's carrying your child. Who does that?”

“Mom, I'm sorry,” he said, grabbing her hand and forcing her to look at him. “I'm not abandoning her.”

“Then what do you call it?” she asked, snatching her hand from his grip.

“We . . . Okay, I'll admit that it's me. I need time to sort out my feelings for Zarah and the marriage.”

“There's nothing to sort out. You married her,” Sherry said spewing each word at him. He could see the tears swelling on her eyelids. “The baby needs both parents to love and protect him or her from the harshness of this world.”

Joel attempted to console her, but Sherry refused to accept his gesture. She flicked a tear away. He wasn't a hundred percent sure why she was becoming overly emotional, but he had an inkling. “Mom, don't cry. I will take care of my child.”

Watching her cry broke him down, and Joel struggled to maintain his composure. As he sat close to his wounded mother, he was reminded that the pain of their past was only a few words away.

“I can't imagine another generation of Mitchells going through what we did.”

“Mom, don't cry,” Joel said, handing her a napkin to wipe her face.

“I'm sorry to be sitting here bawling, but I can't help it. I don't want my grandchild growing up without a father.”

“Mom, I keep telling you not to worry. I will always take care of my child, whether I live in the same house or not. It won't matter.”

“It does matter,” she yelled, causing his neck to stiffen. “Why should my grandchild suffer from the same isolation, rejection, and feelings of inferiority as you had to face because his or her father isn't around full-time?”

“Mom, nothing that I say, other than ‘I'm staying with Zarah,' will be acceptable to you. So I might as well keep quiet.”

“We have to break this cycle of abandonment in our family with this child. Do what you must to make this right and stay with your family.”

“I'm not sure why this upsets you so much. Dad lived with us from the day I was born.” Joel and his father had a solid relationship.

“But he was never completely committed to us,” Sherry said.

“But he was here,” Joel stated.

“Then take a good look at Madeline's children and use them as your example.”

“Don didn't spend his entire childhood living with Dad, but he hasn't turned out any better or worse than I have. He survived pretty well, if you ask me.”

“Really? What about the other three children, the murder-suicide and the rape victim who is mad at the world? Do you want this baby to suffer the same way your father's older children did because he wasn't in the home with them? Huh, do you?”

“No, of course I don't want my child to suffer,” Joel said, stroking his chin. “But I don't plan to stay in a dead end-marriage for the sake of my baby, either.” His mother and father had enjoyed a measure of success in their marriage. Yet his mother had never liked Madeline being around all the time as the very visible ex-wife. Joel wouldn't dare approach a subject by mentioning his mother, his father, and Madeline in the same sentence. He'd learned that hard lesson long ago. “I have to find a job and then worry about my marriage.”

She calmed down and rested her hand on his and gave it a slight squeeze. “Please reconsider what you're doing. This is a repeat of the same mistakes your father and I made. I'm begging you to go home to your wife and show her the kind of love she deserves. I'm pleading with you to put your family above your ambition. Make her your priority and end our cycle of dysfunction.”

“Mom, I appreciate what you're saying. I really do, and I'm being honest with you. I am torn.”

“About what?”

“Zarah and I don't have much in common. You know I married her with the intent of merging Harmonious Energy and DMI. At the time I was focused on enlarging DMI, taking it into international territory.”

“Don't remind me,” she mumbled.

“But I wasn't the only one out to get something from this arrangement. Zarah's father wanted a husband for his only daughter. So we both agreed to the marriage for mutual benefit. The reality is that there has never been any genuine love or affection between us.”

“You have some type of connection. She's pregnant.”

Joel didn't have to get into the specifics. Zarah's pregnancy was an accident, but his mother didn't have to know. He'd stick to reasons she could appreciate, even if she didn't grant him the acceptance he sought. “I just don't see how this is going to work with Zarah. We have different religions, which is an unavoidable problem.”

“You act like it's a new piece of information. You knew about her beliefs when you got married. What right do you have to change the rules this late in the process?”

“I'm sorry you don't agree with me, but I have to do what's right for me and my family.”

“I am your family too,” she reminded him. “And I need you to be a father to my grandchild. I'm asking you to make the sacrifice and go home.”

Joel let his gaze slip down. “It's not that easy. I'll have to figure out what to do. Some decisions you just can't make on your own, no matter how hard you try. This is one of those decisions. So I'll have to depend on God to give me direction.” he said, feeling powerless. He let his finger and thumb massage his temples as a headache crept up. Until he got out of this state of limbo he found himself in, he suspected there would be many headaches to follow.

Zarah had arranged to meet Tamara at a café downtown in about an hour. They hadn't spoken since Tamara scheduled the magazine interview for her last week. Once she decided to lead the company, Zarah's schedule had suddenly become very busy. She'd stayed up late the past four nights, reading through important papers related to Harmonious Energy. She had a list of questions and hoped that Tamara might be able to help her figure out the answers to them. Besides doing the work, Zarah was eager to get out of the house and enjoy the cool fall days. She was gathering a tall stack of papers together when the doorbell rang. Immediately afterward the housekeeper came into the kitchen, followed by Ann.

“I'm pleased to see you,” Zarah told Ann, offering her a seat at the table.

“I was very shocked to get your call. I thought you'd be in India by now,” Ann said.

“I may go for a holiday, but this is my home.” A month ago Zarah wouldn't have dared speak with such certainty. But ever since she received the news of her pregnancy and then decided to run Harmonious Energy, her confidence had soared. “I must tell you, I'm having a baby,” she said, bursting with pride.

Ann was beaming. “Congratulations. I am most happy for you. This is what you wanted.”

Ecstatic, Zarah responded, “Yes, it is.”

“Now I see why you didn't go to India,” Ann said.

“Yes, now that I am having a baby, I don't want to travel. I will go for a visit after the baby is born.” Zarah didn't share her entire plan with Ann or anyone else. The only way she would go to India was with a baby and a husband, nothing less. The baby was secure. The Joel portion of the plan needed more work.

“This is very good news. You're having a child.”

“Joel is too,” Zarah stated.

“Of course. How is your husband? The last time we spoke, he was ending my job with you.”

“Ah, he's very troubled, but we don't want to talk about him now,” Zarah said, flailing her hands softly in the air.

“Very well,” Ann said, taking off her jacket.

“No, no, you may want to keep it on,” Zarah said.

“Why?”

“Because I'm meeting Joel's sister downtown. She's going to help me go through these documents. I'd very much like for you to come with me.”

Ann appeared unsure. “I can't come today. I have a doctor's appointment and then a job interview this afternoon.”

Zarah peered at her and said, “Cancel your interview.”

“Why would I do that? I need a job since your husband let me go.”

“And I'm rehiring you.”

“What? Why? What will your husband say? No, this is not a good idea.”

“It is the best idea. I'm going to buy my father's company and run it myself.” Ann appeared confused. “This is a very big job, and I will need your help. You are very smart, and I need smart people to help me.” Zarah leaned close to the table. “You must say yes.”

“I don't know,” Ann said, frowning. “If you're sure it will be okay with Joel.”

“I'm giving you the job this time, not Joel. You are my assistant, and I can give you the job if I'd like. He has no say.”

“Then, yes, absolutely, I'll take the job.”

Zarah felt good. She was beginning to make her own decisions without depending on Joel or Kumar. There was much to learn, but she wasn't afraid.

“Wonderful. Can you start tomorrow?”

“I will be here tomorrow. I guess you want me to come here? Is this where we're going to work?”

“We can use Joel's office down the hall for now, but we have to get a temporary office at DMI or a permanent one somewhere else.”

“Then finding office space will be my first task for us,” Ann stated.

“That's why I'm so very pleased to have you working with me again, but I must hurry. I'm late.”

Ann departed. Zarah pulled a long scarf from the coat closet and grabbed the phone.

“This is Zarah Mitchell. Please send a car to my house. I'd like to go downtown,” she told the car service. The driver would be there in twenty minutes. It gave her time to finish dressing and stuffing her bag. She was bubbling with energy for the first time in a long while. Her queasiness was minimal this morning. She got ready quickly and waited at the front door for the car.

When the car arrived, she handed an address to the driver; the one Tamara had given her earlier. After a thirty-minute ride, she was standing in front of the café. She tossed the tail end of her scarf across her shoulder and entered the café. She panned the room without seeing Tamara. When she was about to approach the counter, she saw Tamara standing in the corner and waving her over.

“You made it,” Tamara said, sitting down once Zarah reached the table.

“Yes. I am sorry for being late. I was delayed by a meeting with my assistant.” Zarah took a seat.

Tamara sipped from a cup. “I haven't heard you talk about her much lately. I didn't think she was working for you any longer.”

“She wasn't. I hired her today, and I'm very pleased.”

“Really? You hired her back? Wow, that's great.” Tamara took another sip. “You're really serious about taking charge of your life. I'm impressed,” she said.

Zarah was delighted to get the support and the praise. She hadn't heard such words from Joel, not yet. But the day was coming. She was sure of it.

Tamara set her cup down and slapped a magazine on the table. “Have you seen this?” she asked, opening the magazine and sliding it across to Zarah. “They did a fantastic job.”

Zarah stared at the picture of herself on one page and an article on the other. She was in her favorite royal blue sari trimmed in gold. “I have not seen this.”

“It's good, really good. You interview very well.” When Tamara suggested the article to Zarah, it had seemed like a solid idea. Tamara was even more convinced after reading the flattering comments about Zarah throughout the article. Tamara had to admit, one of the best parts was that Joel's name was not mentioned at all. She was elated about the omission. Her brother was going to be boiling mad.
Great,
Tamara thought.

Zarah blushed. “I'll read it now and return this to you.”

“No, you keep this copy. I'll get another one.” Tamara signaled for the waitress. “Do you want something to drink? Coffee or tea?”

The waitress came to the table, and Tamara ordered a refill.

“I'll have tea and milk,” Zarah told the waitress, who jotted down their orders and then left the table.

“Milk, huh?”

“It's the Indian way to drink tea,” Zarah said, feeling stronger than she had in months. Good fortune and blessings were coming her way. She silently thanked her gods. “I must thank you for encouraging me to do this article.” She nodded at Tamara as an expression of appreciation. “I wonder if Joel has read the article.”

“Who cares?” Tamara responded instantly.

“I do. Maybe I should call him.”

“No, you're not,” Tamara said. Zarah wasn't convinced. “You're in a good place, for a change. You're finally taking charge. Don't digress now. You've been there for him. Now it's your time to let him chase you. Sit back and wait for him to step up.”

Tamara was slightly on edge watching Zarah's resolve weaken. She was prepared to help Zarah maintain her momentum by any means required. Zarah was too close to owning Harmonious Energy outright, and Tamara was too close to getting the West Coast division. There was no room for Joel in the equation. He wanted to be outside of Zarah's world, and Tamara was more than willing to help him remain there until she got her slice of the company. With so much at stake, Tamara had to press hard.

“Don't give into his childish whims. Be strong and make your family proud,” she told Zarah.

It was obvious to Tamara that Zarah was reluctant to follow her advice, but her friend eventually agreed. Tamara felt guilty for pushing her, but not enough to back off. She didn't dare, otherwise Joel would swoop in like a vulture over wounded prey and gobble up both her and Zarah's future. He had to be stopped. As far as Tamara was concerned, they were merely getting started with teaching Joel the many lessons he had earned.