Humbled (21 page)

Zarah was put into an examining room with a team of medical professionals. She wasn't completely sedated, but the doctor had given her something to relax her. She was quiet and was resting comfortably while tests were performed. Joel had approved a transfusion since she'd lost a pint of blood. He knew her religious beliefs didn't permit heroic efforts, but what was he supposed to do? He couldn't let Zarah and his baby die without medical intervention. It seemed as if each decision he made was greeted with controversy. Joel was barely hanging on. He'd step into the hallway to contact his mother. She'd want to know.

“Mom,” he said, “I'm at the hospital with Zarah.”

She cleared her throat. “I'm glad you decided to take her, instead of waiting until the morning. I feel much better,” she said, punctuating her speech with a dry cough.

Then it dawned on him. She went to bed rather early most evenings. He'd probably startled her awake by calling after ten, but now it was too late to undo ringing her phone. He'd press ahead and convey the troubling news. “I had no choice. She got worse.”

“How much worse?” Sherry asked, sounding worried, which bothered him greatly. He didn't want to worry her. His mother was one of the bright spots in his life, and Joel would fiercely protect her best interests, even against challenges he couldn't control.

“She had some bleeding—”

His mother cut him off to say, “That's not good. Has she lost the baby?”

Joel didn't know for sure. The ER team was working on her, and he didn't want to entertain the notion. So he conveyed the little he knew and the results he desired. “The doctors are doing the best they can, but I'm praying for her to be okay. She has to be,” he said, bracing himself against the wall. “My baby has to be okay.” He knew God had the power to fix this problem. He'd have to dust off his faith and let it tackle doubt and fear.

“Don't you worry, son. I'm on my way.”

“Mom, there's no need for you to come. It's late. Why don't you wait until morning?”

“Joel, in a few more hours it
will
be morning.”

He chuckled.

“And you're wasting time trying to stop me from coming to the hospital. I'm on my way. I'll see you soon, and I love you dearly.” He soaked in her consoling words. “We'll get through this together.”

He thanked his mother and breathed slower. Help was in progress, and comfort was on the way. His moment should have been complete, but there was a nagging omission. Admittedly, Tamara wasn't his favorite person, but she'd been some sort of confidant to his wife. He couldn't discount their bond; neither did Joel feel a need to do so. Zarah was in crisis and could use every extra ounce of encouragement available to her. His wife would want Tamara to know. More importantly, she deserved to know. He searched his contact list and queued up a text message.

 

Zarah at Providence Park Hospital in Novi.

 

Over the next hour, Joel grew anxious. Nobody was telling him anything. Zarah was sleeping, but she wasn't out of danger. He had to get answers. He jumped up and hustled into the hallway, nearly slamming into his mother, who was on her way into the room.

“Excuse me, Mom. I didn't see you,” he said after practically plowing her down.

“Don't bother about me. How's Zarah? Is there any update on the baby's condition?”

Joel ran his hand over his head and let his gaze sweep the floor. “I haven't heard anything for the past hour. Somebody has to tell me something,” he said, raising his voice.

Sherry tapped his shoulder. “Getting worked up isn't going to help. Why don't you find a doctor, get some answers? I'll sit here with Zarah.”

Joel took the advice. He harnessed his anxiety and slowed the hustle in his steps. He went to the nurses' station.

“Can someone give me an update on Zarah Mitchell?” he asked the two people sitting behind the counter, not sure if they were nurses or doctors. He really didn't care who they were as long as they provided an update on his wife's health.

“I'll have the doctor meet you in the room. Right now she's upstairs with another fetal emergency.”

Joel leaned on the counter. “Is there only one doctor on duty in the ER?”

“Only one ob-gyn.”

His anxiety boiled again. “So who's taking care of my wife?”

“Rest assured, Mr. Mitchell, that your wife is receiving quality care.”

He bit his tongue in frustration. Debating with the nurse wasn't useful. He terminated the conversation.

“Joel!” he heard someone shout. He turned and saw Tamara barreling toward him. “I got your message. Where's Zarah? How is she?” Tamara rattled off her questions frantically.

“She's in an examining room,” he said, walking away from the counter. Tamara followed.

“I've been worried to death since I got your message. Thanks for letting me know. Is she going to be okay?”

“I don't know,” Joel answered curtly.

Tamara grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop. “Why don't you know?”

He wiggled from her grip. “Because they haven't told me yet.” Joel wasn't irritated by her line of questioning. He was just angry that he didn't have suitable answers. It wasn't Tamara's fault. It was his.

They continued another ten yards before they reached Zarah's room. He found his mother sitting close to Zarah's bed with trails of tears lining her cheeks. Tamara was on his heels. Shockingly, he wasn't bothered. He actually appreciated her concern. He hadn't known her to express support for anyone. So Zarah had to be special to get Tamara's heart to warm up.

“Mom, what's wrong?” he asked, approaching her and Zarah's bedside.

Sherry wiped her face with the smashed tissue she was holding. “Oh, excuse me. I didn't know Tamara was with you.”

“Hi, Sherry.”

Joel could tell something had happened, and his mother seemed uneasy about talking with Tamara in the room. “Tamara, do you mind stepping out for a minute?” he asked. “I need to speak privately with my mother.”

“Can I at least stay for Zarah?” Tamara asked, with such a look of despair, he was compelled to oblige.

“Sure, but please don't wake her up.”

Tamara went around to the other side of the bed and touched Zarah's hand. “It's Tamara. I'm here for you. Whatever you need, I'm here,” she said with her voice cracking. Joel didn't have to ask her to leave again. After her words were spoken, Tamara dashed from the room. Joel was too focused on what his mother had to say to follow Tamara and decipher her emotional state of mind.

“Mom, I can tell you've been crying. What has you upset? Did the doctor come in while I was gone?” Zarah stirred, causing Joel to lower his voice to a whisper.

“No one came in. These tears aren't for Zarah,” Sherry replied, generating more confusion. He couldn't understand why she was visibly upset.

“Then what are they for?”

“For my child,” he said.

“Who? Me?”

Sherry wiped her eyes with the tattered tissue and reached to get a fresh one from the table. “No. The baby I lost before you were born.” She dabbed her eyes again. “Seeing Zarah lying there, so helpless, has opened a wound I thought had long been healed. I guess you never really get over losing a child.” She squeezed her eyes and lips tightly, not letting another tear roll or a painful memory seep out. Zarah stirred again, but Joel wasn't going to let up on his mother. She couldn't drop a revelation like that and expect him to ignore her pain.

“Mom, I didn't think about the impact this might have on you. I shouldn't have let you come here.”

“You didn't have to let me. This is where I belong. With my family, you, Zarah, and my grandbaby,” she said, extending her hand so that it hovered near the bed while clutching a wad of used tissues.

“Mr. Mitchell,” the doctor said, sailing into the room. “I'd like to speak with you in the hallway.”

Joel wanted to console his mother, but his gesture would have to wait. “Sure,” Joel said and hurried out. He and the doctor walked several doors away from Zarah's room. Joel watched Tamara ease back into the room.

“How is she?” Joel asked, not letting the doctor give him a drawn-out spiel. He wanted the facts and fast, otherwise Joel would move her to Henry Ford Hospital, where there was no question about the quality of care Zarah would receive. “Tell me straight.”

The doctor dropped the chart to his side. “The baby is in distress, and Zarah has lost quite a bit of blood.”

Joel listened intently, but he didn't hear anything he didn't already know. “And . . .”

“She's still in the first trimester, which is a very critical phase of the gestation period. We'll do everything we can to prolong the pregnancy. The good news is that she didn't miscarry. The baby's heartbeat is strong, but we are in the danger zone and have to consider this a high-risk pregnancy.”

Thank goodness she hadn't miscarried, Joel thought. He took solace in the news. “What's the probability of our baby living?”

“It's hard to tell,” the doctor stated without further explanation.

“Come on. You must have a better answer.”

“I understand you want answers, but I won't give you false hope.”

“Give me an answer,” Joel demanded, drawing stares from the few nurses at the nurses' station.

“Fifty-fifty,” the doctor blurted.

He'd demanded an answer, and once it came, Joel wasn't prepared for the implications. He was crushed. He'd finally come to terms with being a father, and now that might be in jeopardy. “Is there another specialist we can get?”

The doctor raised the chart and made a few marks with his pen. “Mr. Mitchell, I understand your concern, but you can rest assured your wife is receiving the best care we can provide.”

Joel wasn't convinced. He couldn't be. Joel thanked the doctor and walked away, realizing that neither he nor the hospital could offer any more help.

He trudged to Zarah's room, squashing his feelings. His wife would see only the best of him, the strength that God was going to give him. She needed a hero, and he would be one for her. He entered the room, wearing a borrowed smile and exuding love for her, more than he'd given Zarah since she vowed to be his wife.

When he entered the room, Zarah was awake, with Sherry on one side of the bed and Tamara on the other. Zarah saw him and reached out for him. He didn't hesitate in responding.

“Joel, is our baby well?” she asked, appearing very troubled.

Tamara stepped out of the way to let Joel slide as close to the bed as he could get. He nestled his wife's hand in his. “Don't worry about our baby. Don't worry about anything.” He leaned close and kissed her forehead, letting the affection linger. “Let me do the worrying. I want you to rest, Mrs. Mitchell.”

“But—”

“Shh,” he whispered. “We'll get through this together.”

Sherry and Tamara stood quietly on the other side of the bed. He was glad to have the support. Zarah must have believed him. She nestled her face against his hand and closed her eyes. A sense of relief filled Joel when he felt the strength of God stirring inside.

Shortly after midnight, Zarah was moved from the emergency center to a private room in the maternity ward for overnight observation. Around 2:00 a.m., Joel convinced his mother and Tamara to go home. They put up some resistance but eventually listened to reason and went home. They couldn't help Zarah tonight. Joel preferred that they go home and get prepared to help him when Zarah went home. He insisted on walking them to the parking lot. Tamara accepted a ride from his mother, and they were on their way.

Instead of rushing back inside the hospital, Joel stayed outside to think. He wasn't thrilled with the care Zarah had gotten thus far. He wanted more done sooner. He wasn't sure if another hospital could do any better, but other care would be considered. He wanted Zarah to receive the best treatment. Joel wasn't going to take less for his wife and child. With the way things had played out in slow motion, he definitely wasn't going to be too far from Zarah's side. In the middle of the night, she'd called for him several times. The best he could do was climb slowly onto the bed and gently place her head on his lap. He had attempted to ease her head onto the pillow without waking her but was unsuccessful, and so he had been forced to sleep practically in an upright position. Joel was ready to get back inside and resume his watch over Zarah.

Before Joel knew it, it was six in the morning. He was anxious for more answers but not crazy out of his mind with worry. He sincerely wanted to give faith a try. Throughout his years of wandering, strategizing, and trying to claw his way out of his grave of failures, there was one person who'd consistently popped up in his path at the oddest times, Mother Walker. Today was no different. She was a woman who didn't appear to have much advanced education, but it was evident she had a special relationship with God.

Joel slowly opened the door to Zarah's room and walked out into the hallway, thinking. Mother Walker had given him the most meaningful advice of anyone he'd known with the exception of his dad. Joel was certain she could get a prayer through to God for him. Strangely, Joel had stored her number in his phone two years ago, not realizing he'd need it today. It was early, but he bet she was an early riser. He'd take a chance on reaching her. He dialed, and thank God, she answered. He identified himself, and she knew who it was immediately.

“Mother Walker . . . I'm sorry.... I mean Big Mama.” She'd reminded him to call her Big Mama on several occasions, but he kept forgetting. He found a quiet refuge near the waiting area. He leaned against the wall for support. “I apologize for calling you this early.”

“It's all right. I've been up for several hours, praying and meditating on my scriptures. Can I help you with something?” she asked with such a genuine tone that he was put at ease.

“I have a situation, and I'm hoping you can pray for my wife. She's having challenges with the pregnancy, and I'd like for you to pray for us. I'm afraid my prayers might not be working, and I don't want to take a chance with something so important.”

“I will surely pray for you and your family, but you don't need me to reach God for you. You know the Lord for yourself. You have always had an anointing and a calling on your life. He knows you and will hear your prayer.”

“I used to think so, but I've had some challenges these past few years.”

“The Lord knows who you are and where you've been. We weren't born perfect, son. Jesus died that we might be redeemed from sin and saved from the consequences that come from sin. Yes, you've made your mistakes, but you're alive. You have breath in your body. That means you have time to get back on the path God has created for you.”

“I'm sure it's not quite that easy.”

“Why isn't it? If the God we serve can create the heavens and the earth and part the Red Sea, then surely He can fix your little stuff. Son, you have to know God is bigger than your problems. He loves you, and He's right in front of you with his arms wide open, waiting for you to fall back into His arms, into His grace. Let your Father love you, son. This is your time to rise up and take authority. God's call on your life didn't change just because you walked away from Him.”

“I know, but I'm not worried about my role or future. I'm calling to ask for your prayers regarding my child and Zarah.”

“I will gladly pray with you, but the plans God has for you might not be what you've planned for yourself. The way He answers might not solve the problem that you see. Do you understand?”

He did, but he didn't. Joel had learned to believe what she said, although it might take months or years for the revelation to materialize. She'd never told him what he wanted to hear, but Big Mama always told him what he was supposed to hear. He acknowledged this as one of those instances.

The sun's rays snuck into Zarah's room around seven thirty that morning, robbing him of privacy. He would have preferred that the room remain dark so Zarah could continue sleeping but didn't have the power to constrain the light of day.

He heard her whimpering but wasn't able to decipher the comment. “Zarah,” he whispered, “are you awake?”

“Ohhh,” she moaned.

“You are awake,” he said, sitting at her bedside. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” he said with laughter that wouldn't be silenced. Joel was ecstatic to see her awake. They'd suffered through a long night, and finally it was day.
Thank the Lord,
he thought. Prayer worked.

“Is our baby well?” she asked, popping up.

He touched her shoulder, hoping to soothe her. “Why don't you lay back and rest? The doctor doesn't want you to become overly excited. It's not healthy for you or our baby. He wants you to take it easy,” he told her.

She took his advice and lay back, placing her hand snugly on her abdomen. “What about the blood?”

Joel didn't have an explanation, not that she needed to have extra information to think about. However, he didn't like being ignorant about important matters that impacted his life and those he loved. He'd deal with getting a second, third, and fourth opinion later. Right now, Zarah had his undivided attention, which he was freely giving.

He squeezed her hand and stroked her face, pleased at his calming abilities, until she popped up again. “What day is it?” she asked, exhibiting a gush of fear. She caused his heart to beat fast. He wondered what had her so alarmed.

“It's Wednesday.”

She tried getting out of bed, and he stopped her.

“What are you doing?” he asked forcefully.

“I have a meeting with the DMI board of directors tomorrow. I can't miss it,” she said, appearing frantic.

“Wait a minute,” he said, blocking her path from the bed. “You're in no condition to attend a board meeting today or tomorrow. Didn't you hear me say the doctor wants you to take it easy?” he said, working hard to contain his frustration.

“But I must be ready for the meeting. We are discussing Harmonious Energy and the offer they are proposing. I can't miss this opportunity to own my father's company. It is most important to me,” she said, pushing against him.

“Is it more important than keeping our baby safe?”

In a split second, her anxiety melted. She stopped pushing against him and slowly eased herself down on the bed. “What can I do?”

“Don't worry. I'll take care of the meeting for you,” he said.

“You?” she said, sounding very unsure.

“Yes, me. Remember, I know a thing or two about the board of directors,” he said, which was accurate since he'd been a former member. “Once upon a time I was a master at structuring deals.” She showed hints of a smile. “And let's face it. Nobody knows more about unraveling DMI and Harmonious Energy than I do, since it was my vision to merge the two companies in the first place.”

“You are right,” she said, hugging him tightly.

He offered no opposition. Actually, he soaked up her heartfelt appreciation. Joel was glad he had something of value to offer her in the hour of her greatest need. For the first time in a very long while, he was satisfied with his actions. The feeling was like an addictive drug. The more he got, the more he desired.