Hunger Chronicles (Book 1): Life Bites (36 page)

He chuckles. “Zombie’s aren’t that easy to come by in Arizona. I figured you’d want to save some for later.”

My gaze drops down to the zombie. It’s alive, barely. Its moans ripping painfully through the gaping wound in its throat as it tries unsuccessfully to rise.

Save some for later. As if the zombie were a plate of leftovers to be reheated. Or a lamb to be called on whenever I thirst. Have I really been reduced to this?

My legs slip out from under me. Alarm flashes across Raoul’s face as he lunges forward to grab a hold of me. I don’t fight, letting him pull me against his chest.

“What’s wrong?”

I shake my head, smearing my tears into his pressed shirt.

I’d fight the tears, fight him, if I had any energy left. But all I have is nothing. Sometime between then and now I’ve lost myself. The question is, when was then? When did I completely lose me?

“Darling, Eva, what’s wrong?” Raoul’s hand is soothing as it strokes up and down my back. I remember that, how I used to feel so safe in his arms. Cherished. Loved. I’d thought it a falsehood. Maybe it wasn’t. What is false is
this
me. I’m no longer the girl he fell in love with. This me is so bottled up with hate and anger that I can’t see through the glass. Need to let it go.

I sniffle back the next round of tears, wiggling out of Raoul’s hold. “I’m okay.”

The premature furrow is back in Raoul’s brow but he nods. He raises his hand, snaps his fingers. Almost immediately a pair of his guards are there subduing the zombie that has managed to get its knees under him.

I watch numbly as they drag it away toward the back of the mansion. There are tons of outbuildings. Garages, sheds. I don’t doubt there is a cage in one of them with the zombie’s name on it. Just like the rest of the hives’ cattle.

I become aware of the fact that Raoul is still studying me. No doubt trying to figure out why I’m not bouncing with joy after having “hunted” down my first real meal in over a week.

“I thought this would please you,” he says, confirming my suspicion.

I take a deep breath, tipping my head back to look into the sky. How can I explain this? Perhaps the better question is why do I care to explain it?

No matter what else, Eva girl. Hold true to your humanity.

That’s right. And I’ve lost my humanity. Well, here is my first stab at getting it back. I rack my brain and come up with nothing. It’s as I’m naming off the various constellations in my head that an idea forms.

I turn my attention back to Raoul. He’s waiting patiently, if a bit anxiously.

“The wolf you said you rehabilitated, was that true?”

His brow creases, as if fishing through memories, but then he nods tentatively.

“What did you do with it when it was all healed?”

“I set it free.”

“Why?”

His brow knits in confusion. “It wouldn’t have survived in captivity. It needs to hunt, to roam.”

I lay a hand on his arm. “The only way I can survive doing this…” I reach up, wipe the blood from my chin and show him the glistening liquid “…is if I’m hunting.”

“You just—”

“And not in a caged-in arena.”

His eyes narrow, his mouth drawing into a tight line. “Fine. Then we shall hunt. I have no attachment to this place. We’ll roam like a pair of wolves and hunt down our meals.”

I shake my head. “I need it to be for a purpose.”

“A purpose?” I can feel his growing frustration. He begins to pace, two short steps left, spin, four to the right, spin. After a dizzying minute he rounds on me. “And your hunger, your survival, isn’t enough?”

“No. There has to be more.”

His hands fly. I instinctively cringe but all he does is grab his own hair and pull at it. I feel as much as see the flash of hurt that crosses his face when he sees me flinch. His hands drop. “I would never strike you, Eva.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just jumpy.”

He nods, but I can tell he’s still hurt. He plants his hands on his hips as he tips his head to look at the stars. I watch his eyes narrow, sense the tickle of confusion as he studies the speckled lights in the sky. He sighs, a bone deep kind of wariness settling in. “I will never understand you.”

“I know.”

He cants his head, gazing at me out of the corner of his eye. “I could, if you would bond with me fully.”

“Raoul…”

“I know. Too soon.”

Too soon would be never. I don’t say this though. I’ve already hurt him enough.

We stand there, at an impasse. When I can’t bear his writhing emotions anymore, I turn and start to walk into the forest. A hand clamps down on my shoulder, spinning me around.

“Where are you going?” Raoul’s alarm rakes across my nerves. And he would have me bond with him fully? Make this two-way, lookey-see how I’m feeling even more intimate? Insanity.

I have to breathe through my teeth for a moment before answering. “For a walk. I’m not ready to go back yet.”

“I’ll walk with you.”

“Raoul. I need some space. I can’t…this…” I wave my hand helplessly between us. “It’s too much.”

“I beg to differ. I think it’s not enough.”

“Raoul.” I lift my chin, not defensively, but imploringly. “I can’t be me with you in my head all the time.”

He starts to say something, but then tips his head to the side, his emotions shifting from frustration to consideration. “I forget what it’s like. Being alone in one’s head. I remember craving that too.” He smiles. It’s forced, but I give him points for trying. “Have your walk, Eva. But don’t go beyond the natural borders. It’s my mother’s guards who maintain the perimeter.”

And his mother’s guards would kill me first, ask questions later. Got it.

He reaches out to touch my face. His fingers are like cool marble on my cheek. “Don’t worry. If you but need me, I’ll be there.”

I don’t have the heart to tell him that is half of what I’m running from.

40.

I am not stupid enough to think I am getting out of here tonight. Still, a bit of recon is in order. After my little meal—okay, not so little—I’m in peak condition. Or at least on the way to it. I can feel my bones strengthening toward steel. My muscles are firm with strength. My nerves sing with energy. A lick of my lips and I know my flesh has healed too. No more bruises, no more scarred cuts. As long as I don’t do anything to earn another beating, I should be a hundred percent for at least a couple days.

I walk for what seems like hours, drifting neither here nor there, moving closer to the mansion, then winding my way back out to the boundaries. I avoid the sheds, not sure if I can stomach the scent of the zombie I’d torn into, and stay far from the servants’ housing unit. This is where the lambs are. I can still feel the girl’s presence like a tickle in the back of my mind and would really prefer not to be drawn in by her drifting thoughts.

It’s as I’m on my second circuit, nearing the natural split where the spotty forest meets up against the rocky hillsides beyond, that I note the absence of something very important.

Heartbeats. There are no heartbeats here other than my own.

A break in the line? No way. This is too good to be true. I can’t help but hope, though, and break into a sprint. Heading for the hills, as my dad would say.

No one follows.

Keeping my senses open, I work my way ever upward, using the natural gorges between the rocky outcroppings and cliffs as my footpath. I’ve gone a good mile before the absurdity of the situation really hits home.

Too easy. Too easy.

And just like that, my bubble bursts. A double rhythm rises over my pounding feet. A figure leaps down from an outcropping of rocks ahead.

Damn. Knew it was too easy.

And then who it is registers: The queen herself. I stumble to a stop, pulling a blank expression onto my face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was so close to the border.”

“I’m sure.” She smiles, sickly sweet.

Survival instinct says, “I was just out for a …run. I guess I went further than I thou—”

The queen waves her hand, effectively snapping my mouth closed. “Spare us your sniveling excuses. We both know you saw the opportunity to flee and took it.”

As if I’m going to admit that. I stay silent, working to keep my thoughts blank too.

She scoffs. “You really thought my guards would be so lax as to let you slip through?”

No, I didn’t. Which means I was allowed to escape. Probably so that I’d be far enough away from Raoul so he wouldn’t sense when his mother killed me. “Raoul is never going to forgive you if you kill me.”

She shakes her head, crimson eyes sparkling. “I’m not going to kill you.”

“No?”

“No. I’m going to let you go.”

Okay. I must be back in some parallel universe where zombies are cute and crazy wicked queens turn into Glenda the Good Witch. Three clicks of my ruby slippers and I’ll be home. Yeah right.

The queen takes a step forward. I automatically take a step back, hit up against a pine bough behind me. She smiles, then licks her finger, saliva pooling on the sharp nail. Before it drips, she reaches out and drags it across my cheek. Not hard enough to draw blood, but enough that I can feel the sting of her poison through my abraded skin.

My breath rasps in and out of my lungs. I can’t help it. “Thought you weren’t going to kill me.”

She leans in close, her breath like an arctic breeze across my ear. “Run, Eva. As far and as fast as possible. If you’re quick, maybe I won’t change my mind.”

“Why are you doing this?”

She straightens, dropping her hand. “Because to kill you would be to lose my son. There is not much I won’t do, but I won’t do that. Nor will I ever see you wed him.”

That made two of us. Funny this is what would bring the queen and I together.

I don’t stay to puzzle out this weird bonding experience. I skirt around her, and then bolt, heading as fast as I can into the next gorge.

I don’t slow down until I’m panting, the fire of exhaustion burning through my veins. Must have traveled a good ten or fifteen miles already. And so far the queen seems to have not changed her mind.

That had been just plain weird. I am not going to look a gift horse in the mouth though, so I run on, my frantic pace evening out into a ground-eating jog. It must be past midnight. I have half a night to find someplace to ride out the day. And then I’m going to have many more long nights of searching after that. I need to get back to my house, check and see if John found the notebook or not, and then book it back to base. I’m sure that’s where John would have headed after I’d disappeared and I’m determined to follow suit. Home. When did that icy-grey cement bunker become home?

When John and the other’s accepted you as pack.

Which is just plain crazy. Taurus slim aside, I’m still not sure of that. I’m more like the weapon that you keep well oiled.

A sound cuts through my thoughts. A tinkle of stone on stone. Pebbles running down the steep cliff faces I’d just skirted by.

Crap. Raoul must be following me.

Guess it was too much to hope his mother might distract him for a bit, give me a head start.

I lock my legs, skidding to a stop and spin around. Better to face him now.

“Come on out, Raoul. I know you’re following me. We might as well get the yelling match over with.”

I’m not sure if Raoul is following me to bring me back or because he thinks he’s going to employ that whole we’ll-roam-the-countryside-and-hunt-together strategy, but whatever his thoughts are, he’s about to have another one coming. I’m not going back. And I’m not partnering with him. Gratefulness and teenage crushes aside, he’s not the guy for me.

It’s not Raoul who leaps down from the rocks above though, but another vampire. A master vamp judging by the impact of his gaze. What the heck? And then another one leaps down after him. I suck in a breath, scanning around me. Sure enough, another vampire steps out from a crevice between the rocks, and then another glides forward from down the path.

The queen’s guard. How could I have been so stupid? Just because she promised not to kill me, didn’t mean that she wouldn’t send someone else to do it. And the reason for letting me go? Well, she needs me far enough away from the mansion that Raoul won’t sense my need.

I take a step back, my gaze darting around for a weapon, any weapon. “I don’t suppose we can talk about this.”

The closest vampire smiles and then shakes his head.

Too bad. I am all about postponing the inevitable. Of course, if I am going to die, I think I’d like to go out with a bang. Too bad I don’t have my gun. Now that vamps sword…

A plan begins to emerge. It’s a stupid plan, but I figure it might be good enough to get me that sword and take one or two of them down with me. I can’t hope to do much more than that, but I figure it’s
almost
as good as mentally flipping off the queen.

I lunge to the right, diving across the red stone. The ground flies up to meet me with a muffled groan on my part. My hand closes around a broken limb that’s cracked and fallen during some storm from the nearby cliff. I follow through into a roll, my feet hitting the ground with jarring purchase as I scramble back to standing, already swinging.

And what do you know, vamp one is already there, his sword flying down at me in a deadly arc. I decide right then that this is the guy who’s going with me.

I scream, half war cry, half no-effing-way, and twist my makeshift club into an upward arc. The sword grazes off the end, deflecting into the meaty muscle of my upper arm. I gasp at the slicing pain but rejoice that it’s not my neck. The blade lodges into my bone. Gotta love vampire physiology. Any other creature and the sharp metal would have sliced right through.

I jerk back, the lodged sword pulling the surprised vampire off balance. It’s pure desperation that fuels the strength behind my next strike. The limb smacks into the vampire’s temple with a resounding thwack. His eyes glaze over, his grip falling from his sword.

Wow. Did I do that?

Don’t think about it, Eva girl. Keep moving.

I’m not the only one in shock at my accomplishment. The other vampires, four now, stand there staring.